Reckless Secrets (3 page)

I snorted, like
You have to ask?
"Isn't that what this is?"

He grinned back at me like he was embarrassed. "You got me there." His Adam's apple bobbed. "Lyssa was engaged before she married me. To another professor here. Of computer science of all things." He paused again.

I imagined an eggheady PhD would probably lord his degree over Jason. "It must be awkward."

He nodded. "He doesn't like me, to put it mildly. Lyssa broke off the engagement when she found out her fiancé had a four-year-old son he'd 'forgotten' to mention. With a former grad student of his who wasn't so former when the boy was born."

I made a sympathetic sound. "That's rough."

"Yeah. It wasn't so much the child, but the lie. He was more of a player than she realized. And a liar. She couldn't live with that."

I wasn't so sure about it being just about the lie. Maybe it
was
about the child. Maybe she didn't want any competition for Mia. "You haven't lied to her. You didn't know about me when you married her."

"No, but I'm not sure she'll see it that way. I've kept my suspicions from her. I haven't shared what we're going through. She'll see that as a betrayal. And after the scandal of her broken engagement…

"Let's just say the university may seem large, but it's really a very small community. I don't want to hurt her or make it worse for her here, professionally or otherwise." He took a deep breath. "She's barely gotten over her postpartum depression from having Mia. I can't risk upsetting her now, just at the point when she's becoming herself again."

Postpartum depression, that was new. I hadn't even heard any rumors of it around the office. I didn't know whether to be impressed with his secret-keeping ability, or worried.

"I need some time to figure out how to tell her. To think everything through. To know exactly what you and I want of each other first."

His behavior was typical of analytical types. I had some of those tendencies myself. "Won't it be worse the longer you keep it from her?"

He gave me another of his sad, but impressed smiles. "You're very mature."

"For someone my age." I smiled. "I've had to be. Mom sure isn't." I could have kicked myself. I hadn't meant to bring her up. Jason got a funny look on his face when I mentioned her. I had to divert his attention. "So you're asking me to keep this a secret?"

Jason nodded, looking guilty. "It's selfish—"

"Forever?" I stared him directly in the eye, willing him to come clean and tell me the truth—did he want me to leave without Lyssa ever knowing?

"No." He shook his head, emphasizing the point. "Just until the time is right."

But who knew when that would be?

"And if Lyssa finds out before you tell her?"

"She won't." He sounded confident. Overly positive.

Which worried me. "Secrets have a way of finding the light." That was something my grandma used to say to me.
 

He arched an eyebrow and pointed to me. "You were a secret for a long time."

"Yeah. What's your point? Mom's the queen of deceit, as tightlipped as they come. It took nineteen years, but here I am." I shrugged. "See what I mean?"

"It won't be forever. Not even for nineteen years." Then he laughed. "Maybe eighteen." He winked.

I bit back what I wanted to say about wanting to have a father in my life and hoping he'd be there to walk me down the aisle someday, hopefully before eighteen years were up.
 

"Maybe this is best," I said, trying to find the bright side of being kept secret for a while longer. "Logan will be upset when he finds out I've been hiding my search for you from him since I met him. It would be natural for him to think I've been using him to get close to you. As you know better than almost anyone, he's really vulnerable right now. Relieved that Dr. Rogers has been arrested. But he has a lot to deal with. I don't want to lose him." I paused. "So we're both doing this to save our love lives?"

"Yeah. Like father like daughter." He choked on the word "father" and his eyes misted up. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

My eyes misted, too. "Where do we go from here?" I hesitated again. "I'd like to get to know you better. As a person. Or as a dad." I choked up on the word "dad" like he had on "daughter."

In a flash, Jason was out of his chair. He came around to my side of his desk and pulled me into his arms. He was tall, over six feet, and strong and firm and warm. He smelled clean, like pleasant soap and cologne. I rested my head on his chest as he wrapped me in his arms. A sense of wellbeing washed over me as I was cradled in my father's firm embrace for the very first time. Unlike my baby sister Mia, I'd always remember the first time our dad hugged me.

"It sounds crazy, and you may not believe it," he said, "but I'm glad to have another daughter. I always wanted girls."

I sniffed a little, trying to hold back my emotions. "I bet you'll have a son, too. I'd like a brother."

"I love you, Ellie."

Someone gasped loudly. We started and turned in unison toward the sound. Our office administrator Karen stood in the doorway to Jason's office, staring at us with her mouth open and a look of horror on her face.

Caught already.

Chapter Two

Jason's first reaction was to jump apart, which would look guilty as sin. But I'd learned everything about lying effectively from the mistress of deceit—my mother. If there was one woman who could talk herself out of being caught red-handed in a clench with a lover, it was dear old Mom. The key was to disarm, charm, distract, and whatever you do, act innocent. So I hung on to Jason, made my eyes wide, and scrunched my face against his shirt like he was holding me too tight and I was being comical.
 

I fixed my face into a smile and laughed as I looked at Karen and pushed away from Jason. "Okay, enough, thanks." I managed to blush. "Some people are overly grateful. Do one small favor for this guy and he tells you he loves you." I laughed again as I pulled away from him and stared at my feet for a second.

Jason cleared his throat. "Thanks again, Ellie. You saved my life."

I shrugged and gave Karen a conspiratorial look, like
See what I mean?
 

"What are you doing here?" I asked her. That's another thing I learned from Mom—go on the offensive. Make the other person explain their actions. In war, they call this evasive action.

"
Oh.
" Karen looked embarrassed. "I forgot my work laptop. I wanted to get some work done this weekend. I just dropped by to get it."

"What? You're not doing the Dad's Weekend thing?" I asked, ribbing her.

She laughed. "Do you know how many years I've lived in this town and worked for the university? It's old hat. I think I can pass. My dad's not here."

"And here I thought you were a football fan," Jason said, joining in.

"High school football. Go Panthers!" She punched the air. "What are you doing this weekend, Ellie? You don't have a dad here, do you? Going to the game with friends?"

She knew very well I didn't. Well, not that she knew about. "Sort of." I grinned. "I'm going to the game with Logan and his dad."

At the start of the semester when I first showed up at the office, Karen had warned me off Logan, saying he was a player who had broken more than his fair share of hearts. I had ignored her advice.
 

She frowned subtly, but I knew she wasn't pleased. "Meeting his dad—that sounds serious."

No, finding out Jason was my dad was serious. I shrugged. "Met. I had dinner with them last night. Logan and I are just friends." We were a lot more, but I didn't feel like sharing with Karen. "It's no big deal." I made a point of looking at the clock on the wall of Jason's office. "Speaking of dads and football, I have to be going. We're going to the all-campus tailgate party before the game."

The all-campus tailgate party wasn't the traditional grilling burgers on a hibachi on the tailgate of a pickup or camper in an RV park. In fact, most tailgating at my new alma mater wasn't traditional at all. Tailgating here consisted of getting up at noon, staggering to the shower, dressing for the game, eating a bare-minimum breakfast, and then consuming as much alcohol of your choice as possible before getting in line for the game. Preferably at least three hours pregame if you wanted a seat in the student section, particularly a good seat. Some people camped out overnight for the most popular games. Thanks to Logan's dad, I didn't have to worry about getting in line. We had prime reserved seats on the fifty-yard line of the alumni side. Hooray us.

The all-campus party was held in the field house across from the practice football field adjacent to the stadium. Dozens of vendors set up booths and served food and beverages. It was supposed to be family friendly. But this was Dad's Weekend, so, hey, right. The drinking would be a little less.

I raced from Jason's office to meet Logan and his dad, Harlan, at the south entrance of the field house like Logan had asked. I tried to pull myself together as I hurried down the concrete steps from the backside of the comp sci building down the hill to the practice field and across to the field house. The wind had kicked up and, although the day was still mostly clear, clouds had begun rolling ominously in. I huddled in my coat against the cold, hoping I wouldn't give myself away as being upset.

Logan and Harlan were waiting for me. Harlan looked antsy, glancing at his watch like he could hardly be bothered to wait for me. But my heart caught at the sight of Logan. He was breathtaking, sexy, hot in a way that wasn't put on, but simply was. Tall, athletic, brown hair, built, and full of charisma.
 

"There she is. Hey, Ellie, Elizabeth, Martin." Logan's eyes danced as I approached. "Right on time."

"She's five minutes late," Harlan said.

"Give her a break, Dad. We changed the plans at the last minute."

I pushed the encounter with my dad from my mind and tried to concentrate on the here and now. The sound of Logan's voice made my heart race. The way he said my name was a joke between us. When we first met I refused to tell him my last name. So now he liked to use it from time to time to remind me I couldn't fight fate.

"Logan Walker." I smiled and gave him a deep, lingering kiss, like I didn't want to let him go. Beside us Harlan made a grunt of disgust. Logan tasted like beer—a deep, earthy ale that was totally hot. Although he'd obviously been drinking, to my relief, he wasn't smashed. I reluctantly broke away and smiled at his dad. "Harlan."
 

Harlan stared at me, assessing me again, probably wondering how far I would go to defend Logan. "Ellie."

Logan took my hand. "Ready for the big game?"

"I'm ready for anything." I hardly cared about the game, just about being with Logan.

"Let's go." Logan held the field-house door open for me.

Inside, the field house was crowded with people, vendor booths, and the smell of hotdogs, barbecue, and beer. The school colors decorated everything from people to furniture and even the food in the form of giant sheet cakes decorated with the mascot. I expected Logan and Harlan to head to food row. But they walked past it, winding through the crowd toward the far end.
 

"Wait!" I dragged my feet and tried to pull Logan toward a barbecue stand where the food smelled delicious. "Where are we going? You promised to feed me."

Logan leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Dad has something more exclusive in mind. Don't worry, El. There will be plenty of food. The university always puts on an impressive spread."

Which was when it hit me—Harlan had a pass to an exclusive private party for donors who gave generously to the university. A man of his wealth, power, and connections? I should have known this would be the case. I had fixed my makeup and hair to impress Logan, but if I'd known I was going to be among the VIPs of the university, I would have dressed differently.

Harlan led the way behind a roped-off area to a private room. We checked our coats at the door. Glen Lawrence, the university president, greeted us as we came in. "Harlan Walker!"

Harlan smiled at him, shook his hand, and slapped him on the back. "Glen!"

President Lawrence's gaze shifted to Logan. "Logan. Good to see you."

"Good to see you, too, sir."

Oh, shit! Logan knew President Lawrence personally?