redeeming cupid 01 - struck by eros (13 page)

I motioned Grayson over. He stopped when he got to my side, and Len flinched when he saw him. “Can you give us a ride to my house?” What I was asking him to do was one step higher than fucked up.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” Grayson grabbed my elbow and led me a few feet away.

“Listen, I know this is really messed up, but look at him.” I pointed to my ex-fiancé who held his head up with the palm of his hand. “He’s a mess.”

Grayson looked in Len’s direction and then back at me. He scrubbed his hand over his face, shook his head, and sighed. “Go get the car.” He pulled his keys from his pocket. “I’ll bring him out.”

Waves of guilt crashed through me as I walked to the car. Len was a mess, and it was all because of me. I was too weak to let him go when I found out he might not be mine. Way too weak to stop sleeping with Grayson when all this started. And even weaker because right now I wasn’t sure I wanted Grayson out of my life anymore.

I held on to Len to stay sane and safe and secure, keep me from falling into my old habits, and to block Grayson from creeping into my heart.

But holding on to Len hadn’t done anything but destroy the man I swore to love and push me closer to man I vowed to loath.

Len needed me to fix this mess and restore him to the man I knew and loved. And I needed to straighten out my feelings for both of the men in my life once and for all.

Ten

Mental Whiplash

The situation was all kinds of awkward—my so-called soul mate helping me carry my almost-passed out ex-fiancé to the couch. I wasn’t sure what messed up life lesson Cupid was trying to teach me, but he needed a less subtle approach.

Grayson laid Len on the couch, placing one of the throw pillows under his head. Len’s eyes closed and he dozed off.

“Do you really think letting him stay here tonight is a good idea?” He kept his voice low, but his meaning came across sharper than one of Cupid’s pointy arrows.

I bent down and smoothed Len’s sweat-soaked hair off his forehead, noticing his nearing vampire-pale skin. “You think it would be better if I left him at the bar to fend for himself in his condition?” I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for a response.

Grayson’s foot tapped to an imaginary beat, and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t say that, but waking up here will just give him hope, something he can’t have.”

“I’m going to let him sleep it off.” I grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and covered Len with the soft, plaid cotton, tucking it in around him. “Tomorrow, I’ll find out where he’s staying and take him home. It’s not a big deal.”

“Be careful, Noel. You’re going to make this situation even worse. Confuse him even more.” Grayson walked to the front door and left, his warning stinking up the air like a lingering fart.

I closed it behind him and leaned against the cold wood before checking on Len. His chest rose and lowered in a heavy-metal tempo, arms twitched, face tight, eyes moving under his lids, and small cries and moans filled the room. What kind of wretched nightmare played in Len’s dreams? And was I the main character?

Seeing Len’s distress only reaffirmed my mission to find out everything I could about Cupid and get us all out of this mess.

No better time than the present.

I wandered into my home office, past my drawing table in search of the bag I had taken from the library. The yellow and white tote sat on the mahogany table next to my computer.

The first book, aptly named
Mythology
, had a listing for all the Greek gods, who they fathered, who they slept with, and who they hated. Cupid’s section was rather large. I turned to Cupid’s pages, armed with a notebook, a pen, and a whole lot of determination to learn everything about the Greek God who cursed me.

First sentence.
Cupid was the mischievous god of love.

Tell me something I didn’t know.

I skimmed down the page.

A hand wrapped around the front of me and cupped my left breast. Warm breath tickled my ear, and even warmer lips kissed down my throat. My heart went on a quick trip, skipping a beat or maybe ten. Len turned me around in the chair and pulled me up. He took the book and pen and tossed them on the floor. His arms surrounded me, and he went back to teasing my skin with feather-light kisses. Tilting my head, he kissed me on the mouth, forcing his tongue between my lips, stealing my breath. His hands roamed, touched, groped.

I waited for my body to respond like it did to Grayson’s touch, for the familiar heat of arousal to warm my body, but I stayed colder than a fish on ice. This wasn’t the Len I was used to. The man was wrong, this moment was wrong, the lack of any physical attraction was wrong. I pushed against him, trying to put some distance between us.

But he pulled me closer. “I need you, Noel.” He repeated his words from the bar. His hand rubbed my thigh under the hem of my dress. His body swayed.

“You’re not feeling well, Len.” I pushed him away again. “You need to lie down.”

Possessed with a mission in mind, he wrapped me in his arms, lifting me off the ground like he would a baby, and started through the room. We smacked into the living room chair, played bumper cars with the walls, and almost knocked over one of my favorite statues on our way to the stairs. He set me down on the first step and rubbed his hands up and down my arms. “All I need is you. That will make me feel better. To touch you, feel you beneath me.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me up the remaining stairs and into the bedroom we used to share.

Grayson’s warning floated through my brain, and as much as I hated to admit it… He. Was. Right. But that wasn’t all. When I thought about Grayson, I felt sick to my stomach. Like sleeping with Len would be betraying him somehow. Everything I expected to feel for Len, I felt for Grayson. I needed a neck brace thanks to the emotional whiplash.

Len stopped us at the edge of the bed. The look in his eyes said he had one thing on his mind. Me. Him. Bed. Naked. SEX. He pushed my dress farther down my arm, exposing the top of my right breast. “Is this a new dress?” He bent his head and licked the exposed skin. “Nice and easy to get to all the good parts.” He tugged the dress down to my waist. “I don’t know why I always made such a fuss over slutty clothes.”

The slur to his words proved this wasn’t Len, at least not the Len I had loved the past two years.

I cradled both sides of his head and lifted, forcing him to meet my eyes. “Len, you’re not well.” Taking his hand, I guided him to the side of the bed, helping him to sit on the edge.

Mr. I-Want-To-Sex-You-Up grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the mattress then climbed on top of me, holding both my hands over my head in one of his. His fingers inched under the edge of my strapless, lace bra, rubbing the soft mound of flesh. With ease, he pushed the bra out of the way and took my nipple into his mouth, at first sucking, licking, teasing, but then he took it between his teeth and bit into my skin like an over-eager puppy.

“Ouch.” I pushed his head out of the way and tried to slide out from underneath him.

“Don’t stop me, Noel.” He grabbed my waist and pulled me back. “I need you. I want you.” His head dipped to my stomach, and his hands roamed even lower.

My stomach lurched when Len touched me. Instead of wanting to strip him naked and do naughty things, I wanted him to stop, needed this to end.

Len slid my dress down my legs, leaving me in my off-kilter bra and panties. He straddled me, his erection hard against my thigh. He met my eyes, but his weren’t their usual chocolate brown, they were darker, haunted, unfamiliar. The man attempting to ravage my body wasn’t the man who had proposed to me. Not the man I had fallen in love with. Whatever sick game Cupid was playing was destroying the Len I used to know.

“Len, stop.” I moved my hips away from his wandering hands. “We can’t do this.”

“Yes we can.” He pulled me back and held me down. “And we will.”

I used my weaker than Superwoman strength and wiggled out from underneath him again, but he caught my wrist as I tried to slip through his legs and onto the floor. His grip tightened on my hands, and he yanked me back up onto the bed. He returned to kissing my flesh, starting at the tips of my breasts, but I tugged my hands free from his and pushed his head away before he got to the crux of my thighs.

“You’re mine.” The possessiveness in his tone sent a shiver to my core that had nothing to do with pleasure. “I mean it, Noel. You’re mine. Not Grayson’s. Not any other man’s. You belong to me, and I’ll do anything to keep you.” His fingers drifted under my panties, trying to claim me in the most primal way. Marking me as his territory.

But I wasn’t his territory, wasn’t something he could claim. I grabbed his hand, stopping it from going any farther. From taking what I wasn’t offering.

Grayson was right, allowing Len to be in my house gave him hope, and it was wrong. Having sex with Len was wrong. Allowing this to go any farther was wrong.

Think, Noel, think.

I needed Grayson’s help. But I had to get away from Len and his dong of doom.

“We need a condom.” He leaned over and fumbled for the nightstand drawer like a drowning man grabbing for the last life vest. I touched his shoulder. “We’re out. I’ll get some from the bathroom.”

Len placed his hands on each side of the bed, trapping me in a cage of his arms, “You’ll come back?” He wrapped his fingers around my ankles. I nodded and then he let go. I took the second that his fingers left my flesh to make my escape to the bathroom.

I slammed the cabinet doors to make it sound like I was searching for the love glove, before I grabbed the cordless phone on the counter and punched in Grayson’s number. It rang three times before my tired sounding partner answered.

I didn’t wait for him to say hello. “Grayson, I need you. Hurry.” Thanks to my breathless whisper and quick hang up he’d either think I needed help with Len or that I wanted sex. Either way, he’d get here fast.

I went back into the bedroom, but sat in the chair in the corner of the room, far away from Len and his advances. “No condoms. Looks like we’re out of luck.”

Thanks to Brad and his cheating ways, my strict no condom, no sex rule saved the night.

Len left the bed, almost toppling over on his way to me. I shimmied deeper into the chair, and farther away from his one-eyed-willy.

“Let’s take a chance, just this once.” He placed his hand on my shoulder. “I need you to be mine.” His puppy dog eyes almost flipped my switch to yes.

I crossed my legs tight, my own personal chastity belt, and unpeeled his fingers from my shoulder. He let me remove his hand, but the other hovered over my leg. “Len. I can’t be yours.”

His hand slapped down over my thigh. “You can be. You were.” He pulled me out of the chair and cupped each side of my face, forcing me to meet his eyes. “If you hadn’t met Grayson, we’d still be together.” His eyes drifted closed, but then popped back open.

I shook my head, slow and sorrowful. “I wish it were that simple, but it’s not.”

Len slammed his fist into the nightstand. Everything on top of it wobbled and almost tipped. “It
is
simple. Either you love me or you love him.” His face mere inches from mine, his eyes wide, crazy, scary. “Which…is…it?” His question came out slow and slurry.

I fell back into the chair. “I’m not sure anymore.” My words were as weak as my resolve.

“It’s only been a few days.” He crouched on the floor in front of me and grabbed my hand. His fingers shook as he intertwined them in mine. “Stop seeing him. Come back to me. I’m hollow without you. Empty.” The last word was said in a sleepy whisper.

Len wobbled, his head falling back on his shoulders, skin pale. He fell face first into my lap, pinning me under him. “Need…you…Noel.” He drifted off to sleep. I ran my hands through his hair, played with the ends.

It was obvious Cupid was punishing Len for my mistakes, for my insubordination. Using him as a toy, a chess piece in this game I was unwillingly playing. A way to gain control over me. Somehow, I had to make things right, but how?

Ten minutes later, Grayson burst through the bedroom door, leaned his arm against the jamb and smiled like he had a dirty thought or the mental image of removing my navy blue undergarments with his teeth. “Conversation or sex?” he asked.

As. If. “Neither. I need your help.”

He took one look at my nearly naked body and Len’s head in my lap and rolled his eyes. “You know three’s a crowd, right?”

“Will you please help me?”

Grayson sauntered over. Not a walk. Not a hurried pace. But a full-fledged saunter. He rolled Len over, careful not to let his head flop too hard and wake him up, and then he lifted him quietly off the floor, heading toward the door.

“Not a problem, huh?”

I scooped my bathrobe off the end of the bed and covered up “Not the time or place for I-told-you-so’s.” I stepped in front of him and walked into the hall. “Let’s put him in the guest room.”

Grayson followed and waited while I opened the door to the room across from mine. He placed Len on the bed and I returned to wait in the hall while he tucked Len in for the night. Once Len was safely deposited, and we were sure he was still asleep, we stepped into the hall and closed the door tight.

I turned and faced Grayson. “Thank you.” My words were filled with all kinds of sincerity. “And we didn’t have sex.” I surprised myself when the words left my mouth. “I just thought you should know.”

Grayson nudged me with his elbow. “What’s the plan now?”

We walked away from the room. “How much do you know about Cupid?” I hoped he knew more than me, but had a feeling he didn’t have a clue either.

“Nothing more than what you can read on the internet.”

“You’ve never wanted to know why us?” We made our way down the stairs, past the family photos that have been there my whole life. Pictures of my family, including great-great-great grandparents I had never met. “To get the answers?”

He shrugged one shoulder. “I can’t change the circumstances, why bother finding out the answers?”