REMEMBER ME: GODS OF CHAOS MC (8 page)

“
Tha
t’
s not my style
,”
he said, winking at me.
 “
I try to avoid the police at all costs.  Never been very friendly with them. I guess you could say they do
n’
t like the way I dress
.
”

I laughed, and it felt great.  It was the second time I had laughed that day, the other time being with Riot earlier.  I remembered the look on Ryde
r’
s face when he walked in on us, and I wondered what he was feeling now that I had just invaded his life this way.  Was he annoyed?  He did
n’
t seem to be.  Was he burdened?  If so, he was taking it in stride.

“
I kinda like the way you dress
,”
I said, teasingly, gesturing to his cut.  I could smell the faint smell of leather in the air every time he was around me, and it was intoxicating.

Our beers and burgers arrived, and we dug in.  The beer was delicious and I downed it quickly, before I started eating.  Ryder nodded appreciatively and ordered me another one without asking if that was what I wanted.

I guess it was obvious.  When I drank half of the new one just as quickly, he laughed again.

“
Slow down there, Missy.  Do
n’
t want you drunkenly falling off the back of my bike
.
”

“
Yo
u’
d save me
,”
I said, winking at him.  Was I flirting?  I think I was definitely flirting, and it caught me off guard a little.

“
Yeah, maybe I would.  Le
t’
s not risk it though.  Your face is way too pretty for any more bruises
,”
he said, flirting right back.

I bit my lip, marveling at how easy talking to him was.  I looked down at my hands.  No rings.  No tell-tale lingering indentations of any previously worn rings.  So, I probably was
n’
t married.  But did I have a partner?

I looked across the table and for the first time, hoped that I did
n’
t.  I did
n’
t know where my life would lead from here, but I did
n’
t mind one bit if my future included Ryder. 

“
You need a name
,”
he said.
 “
You know, until you remember yours
.
”

“
Oh, yeah? Sure, okay
,”
I replied.
 “
Any suggestions
?
”

“
Suggestions? Oh, le
t’
s se
e…
how about Barbie or Bertha
?
”
 
he said, laughing at his own joke.

I wrinkled my nose.

“
Do I look like a Barbie or a Bertha? Really
?
”
 
I asked.

Ryder laughed, his eyes crinkling at the edges. The neon light from a sign behind the bar reflected off one of the grey hairs on his temple, shimmering in the light.  It was enchanting and completely distracting.

“
How old are you
?”
I asked.

“
Oh,
I’
m getting up there. 
I’
m forty
.
”

“
Yo
u’
ve been in the MC for a long time
?
”
 
My mind was suddenly flowing with questions for him. 

“
Yeah, a really, really long time.  My old man was the president before me
,”
his blue eyes darkened when he mentioned his father.

“
And your Mom
?”
I asked.  His eyes widened, and he looked away before he answered me under his breath.
 “
Long gone.  Sh
e’
s long gone.  She died a while back, but she was dead to me before then
.
”

“
Oh
,”
I said quietly.  I saw just a glimmer of pain in his eyes before he looked away, shutting down any flicker of emotion before it could surface.
 “I’
m sorry
.
”

“
I
t’
s all good, no worries.  She did
n’
t know the first thing about being a mother, so i
t’
s good she was
n’
t around. 
I’
m better off for it, clearly
!
”
 
he said, spreading his arms to his sides. 

I smiled, shaking my head at his sarcasm.  Truth was, he seemed just fine to me.  He obviously had a different opinion of himself.

“
So, what exactly does the club do? What does the President of the Gods of Chaos do
?
”
 
I thought that might be a forbidden question, but I asked anyway.

“
I do a lot of things.  I make the decisions about what jobs to take.  What direction the club is going to go in.  I
t’
s a democracy, though.  We vote.  Sometimes, I veto the vote
,”
he said, chuckling.

It was a vague answer, but I decided not to press the issue.  I had other things on my mind, and as much I wanted to know everything about him, including what he looked like under that cut, I had bigger questions to ask.

“I’
m glad we have some time to talk
,”
I said, between scarfing down bites of my burger.
 “
I have so many questions for you
.
”

“
Apparently, you do.  But first, we were deciding on a name for you
,”
he reminded me. 

“
Oh, right.  I got, u
m…,”
my gaze landed on the grey hair on his temple again, still shimmering amongst the dark ones, still distracting me, still forcing me to use all my strength not to reach out and caress it
,
“
…
distracted. A name, okay, le
t’
s see.  Maybe I should pick it?  You seem to only know the most awful names in existence
.
”

He laughed, throwing his head back, the sides of his eyes crinkling again, my insides melting with yearning for his touch. 

Why was I thinking like this? Why did he have this pull that I could
n’
t shake?

“
I got it
,”
I said. 

“
You do? Okay, wait
,”
he said, wiping his hands on his jeans before offering his hand for me to shake across the table. 

“
Hello, nice to meet you. 
I’
m Ryder
,”
he said, a twinkle in his eye.

What a charmer, I thought, as I put my hand in his.

“I’
m Samantha
,”
I said, letting the name roll off my tongue
.“
But you can call me Sam.  Nice to meet you, Ryder
.
”

He shook my hand briefly, but then brought my palm up and brushed his lips against the back of it. 

“
Sam
,”
he said, his intense gaze staring right through me.
 “
I like that
.
”

“
Thank you
,”
I said
.“
I think I do, too
.
”
 
And I did.  It felt good.  Solid.  I needed solid.

“
Okay
,”
he said, smiling
.“
Sam. Now, what questions can I answer for you
?”
he said, taking a swing from his beer after winking at me handsomely.

“
Oh, questions.  Right
.
”
 
I was a mess.  My focus should have been on looking around the bar, maybe combing through the paper, driving through town even, but instead I was sitting here in this booth with Ryder acting like a damned kid on a date.  I should have been hysterical.  And deep down, I was.  The panic and terror I felt was like a big, black box in my stomach that I was doing everything I could to shove even deeper. 

So, maybe I was distracting myself. 

Maybe I did
n’
t want to remember. 

Or, maybe Ryder was just that goddamned sexy.  I was a woman, after all. And he was a man. A white-hot, devastatingly handsome, strong and protective man that had saved my life.  And while I may not remember who the fuck I was, I was well aware of the sparks that were flying between us.  And what a delicious distraction they were.

I knew something out there was waiting for me.  I knew the truth was out there, but instead of giddy anticipation, all I felt was dread when I thought about recovering my memories.  My intuition was still there.  And whatever was waiting for me, whatever truth would be unveiled eventually, that intuitive sense was warning me of something. 

Ther
e’
s a reason you do
n’
t remember
, I thought. 

I watched Ryder drinking his beer, his burger consumed long ago, waiting patiently to offer any help I needed.

“
On the night you found me
,”
I said, taking a deep breath
,“
where was I exactly
?
”
 
I had been going over what he told me in my head, and there were so many holes. 

“
On the side of the road that leads to my clubhouse from the highway
,”
he replied. 

“
Okay, and you were alone when you found me
?
”

“
Yep
,”
he nodded.

“
And? So, what happened
?
”
 
I was frustrated.  I wanted all the answers at once and having to ask all these little questions to get the whole picture was infuriating.

His muscles flexed as he brought his beer bottle to his full lips again, and I licked my lips as I watched him swallow.  His every move was a distraction, and my body was reacting in ways that were in complete contrast with my brain.  I wanted answers, I needed answers, but the intensity of his unwavering attention was dissolving every ounce of my resistance to those sparks between us.

My nipples hardened, and I grew even more frustrated.  Did I not have any control over my body at all?  As if to answer my silent question, Ryder reached over the table, using his napkin to wipe the side of my mouth.

“
Ketchup
,”
he said, as if we had known each other for years.  The gesture was so simple, so meaningless, yet so intimate, that it stopped my racing brain in its tracks. 

Slow down, it said. 

Relax, it said.