Remember When (Remember Trilogy #1) (29 page)

   Then again... maybe I
wasn’t
too late.

   I hauled my sopping wet body out of the pool and toweled off.

* * *

   I rang the DeSantos’ bell for the first time in years. It had been forever since I actually did that instead of just giving a quick knock and waltzing right on in.

   Lisa’s mom answered the door. “Hey, Mrs. D.”

   Her eyes lit up, and my heart panged with guilt.

   “Layla! How are you, sweetheart? I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long!” She put a hand on my shoulder, ushering me into the house. “I’m glad I get to see you before you take off for the big city. Tomorrow, right?”

   “Yes. It’s really weird, I can’t believe it.”

   She gave my shoulder a quick rub and yelled up the stairs. “Lis! Layla’s here!” before turning back to me and saying, “Go on up. She’ll be happy to see you.”

   Obviously, Lisa hadn’t told her mom about our blowout.

   Then she gave me a big hug and added, “Oh, my little girls are both leaving! Where does the time go?”

   I hugged her back, but didn’t know what to say. There were too many things running through my mind. So, I just said, “I’m glad I got to see you before I left, too.” 

   I went upstairs and gave a knock on Lisa’s door- again, another first- and she told me to come in. She was sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by boxes and clothes and books and stuff.

   “Hi,” I said, a bit sheepishly.

   “Hi
,” she said back. There was an awkward pause while I was thinking of the right way to launch an apology, but Lisa broke the silence before I could. “Whadja come over to tell me to fuck off in person this time?”

   The shocking words hurt, even knowing that I probably deserved them and a whole lot more. I looked at her, ready to face head-on whatever else was coming.

   But then I saw the smile eeking its way out from her lips.

   Vintage Lisa, so ready and willing to forgive. I hadn’t even apologized yet, but all she ever needed was for me to just show up. She was always the bigger person, dammit, always so much more grown-up and thought-out and
cool
. It made me wonder what her payoff was for staying friends with me all these years.

   “Okay, I deserved that.” I decided to just lay myself out on the altar of humility. “But Lisa, Oh, God. I’m just so, so sorry for everything I said. I was selfish and rude and I don’t know what got into me.”

   I sank down on the floor across from her as she said, “A little of the ol’ bitch, that’s what.”

   “Yeah. I guess so.”

   “Maybe a pinch of jealousy?”

   I hadn’t realized it until she said it, but there it was. No way could I even dream of taking off on such a huge adventure. “Yeah. That too.”

   “And maybe a big old dose of Trip Wilmington’s man-goo?”

   That one threw me, made us both start laughing. “Are you insane? What is wrong with you, perv?” Then, in answer to her ridiculously phrased probing, “And no, unfortunately. Virginity still very much intact, you freak.”

   She picked up a green piece of fabric and threw it at me, but I managed to dodge to the side and catch it in my hand.

   “Look at you with the catlike reflexes!”

   I was busy inspecting the Girl Scout sash in my hand, checking out all her badges. I had a similar one somewhere at home, with most of the same achievements. Except that Lisa’s were lovingly sewn on in perfectly aligned rows, whereas mine where stuck on haphazardly with Krazy Glue. Needless to say, I didn’t earn my sewing patch that year. “Where’d you dig this thing out from? You’re not packing it, are you?”

   Lisa reached out and I handed it over, watching as she ran her fingers over the embroidered disks. “No. I already packed my stuff for...” the word
California
had become a four-letter obscenity between us, and I sensed her hesitation to say it aloud. “...for the car. I also have a stack of boxes downstairs in the dining room which need to be shipped, but
those
” she pointed to a pile of clothes in the corner, “need to go to Goodwill, and
this
” she swept her arms around the scattered remnants all over the floor, “needs to get packed away for the attic.”

   “My God, Lis. Looks like you’ve categorized every single thing you own!”

   “Pretty much, yeah.”

   I hopped up and grabbed one of the black garbage bags from a roll on the bed and started stuffing the Goodwill clothes in it. Lisa tried to protest, but it was easier to talk while we were both preoccupied with busy hands.

   “So, when are you leaving?” I asked.

   Lisa stopped sorting and answered, “Tonight. Midnight.” She sounded resolute, doing that convincing-herself thing again.

   “That’s a weird time to start a trip.”

   “It was my idea, actually. It was the last possible minute that we could leave and still get there in time for class registration.”

   “But why? What were you wai-”

  
Oh.

   I saw the look on her face and realized she’d been waiting for
me
. There was no way she was skipping town without us saying a proper goodbye.

   “You knew I was coming today, didn’t you?”

   She laughed out, “I knew you couldn’t leave without doing so first.”

   “Oh, you manipulative witch!”

   I picked up her Cabbage Patch doll and went to hurl it at her big, poofy head when she stopped my act with, “No, not Cassidy! Don’t do it!”

   I was cracking up, even before looking into the dirty face of Cassidy Cleopatra Pink Poopypants Bourgeois. Obviously, we’d taken full advantage of the Rename-Your-Kid option on her birth certificate. I remembered that we’d also given her my mother’s birthdate. That was back when Kate was still around and I liked her enough to bestow such an honor.

   “You’re right. That would just be taking things too far. Sorry, Cass.” I laid her in a box near where Lisa was sitting, thinking that poor Cassidy had better be prepared for a very long hibernation.

   “You know
,” she started in, suddenly intent on ripping off the Band-Aid. “Deciding to do this wasn’t easy.”

   I acquiesced. “I know. I know that now.”

   She gave me a small, grateful smile, then continued with her explanation. “When Pick first suggested the idea- down at the beach, by the way, after grad- When he first asked me to go with him, I was ecstatic, thinking that he must really and truly love me.” She absentmindedly tossed a few things into the box, adding, “But then, on the other hand, I almost immediately became...
resentful
. And angry. And scared. I mean, there was no way I could actually tell him yes, right? I just put my blinders on and focused solely on The Plan, you know? You and me. New York. End of story. It took me weeks of fighting Pick before I finally realized I didn’t know why I was even fighting him in the first place.”

   She stopped tearing through the pile of stuff surrounding her legs and looked up at me. “Once I got over the idea of rearranging my entire future, rearranging
yours
-” at that, she tossed me a smirk, “I knew it was what I had to do. I knew it was what I
wanted
to do. Making the decision to actually go, however, was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my whole life.”

   I knotted up the garbage bag and started on another one. “I know it was. I do. It’s just that I wish-”

   “It’s just that you wish everything would never change. You wish someone could tie up your life with a neat little bow and have it presented to you all tidy and prepared so you’d never have to think about getting your hands dirty trying to figure anything out on your own.”

   Does this chick know me or what?

   I couldn’t even debunk her claims. As bad as it sucked, she’d hit the nail right on the head.

   Then she said something that surprised me. “You’re tougher than you think, you know. As awful as I felt about having to tell you I was bailing on New York, I knew- even if you didn’t- that you were going to be okay. I wouldn’t have been able to do this if it weren’t for your...
strength
.”

   I’d never thought of myself as a strong person; it seemed I constantly let myself get knocked down at every turn. But maybe it was true that strength just came from getting back up again, each and every time.

   I said, “Yeah, well, knowing that doesn’t make any of this any easier.”

   “Tell me about it. I mean, first you flipped out and then my parents weren’t too thrilled, but they eventually got over it. The Redys, however, are just completely freaking out.”

   She stopped just then and looked at me, realizing that’s not at all what I meant. She opened her mouth- probably intending to give me a big lecture on why change was a good thing, how life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans, blah, blah, blah- but nothing came out.

   Finally, she just simply offered, “He really loves me, Layla. No guy has ever really... loved
me
before.”

   I knew what she was getting at. She’d had numerous boyfriends over the years, some great, some not so great. But most of the guys she’d dated always treated her like some kind of trophy. Like she was some beautiful, brainless party girl, their prize to show off to the world. No one had ever bothered to scratch beyond the surface. Until Pickford.

   “What’s not to love?” I asked, unable to stop the sheer corniness dripping from my brain. “Oh! You just reminded me of something!”

   I went out into the hall and retrieved the picture of the two of us from graduation. I’d gone to K-Mart and bought a swirly, pewter frame to put it in, and had stuck a mini, silver bow on the corner. I handed it over, almost shyly suggesting, “I know it’s stupid, but I thought it was a really good picture of both of us. You know how we can never get one where we both look human... either I’m making some weird face or you’ve got your eyes closed or-”

   “Layla, shut up. It’s perfect.”

   I saw her smile as she looked at the two girls smiling back at her. “I’ll find a spot of honor in our new home for it.”

   Her mention of her new home was enough to remind us of our impending reality. She was actually going to do it. She was going to move three thousand miles away with some boy who’d stolen her heart. Some boy who was going to take it, along with the rest of her, far, far away from me.

   “He’d better be good to you
,” I warned, not having any clue what I could possibly be expected to do if he wasn’t.

   “He will be. He is
,” she said back.

   The waterworks started then, the two of us crying like a couple of idiots, bawling like there was no tomorrow. We hugged and sobbed into each other for a solid minute, neither one of us wanting to be the first to let go.

   “I’m going to miss you so much.”

   “Not as much as me.”

   “Will you come out to see us? Maybe over the winter like you said?”

   I wanted to say yes, I really did. But I was too afraid of making any empty promises. After all, I didn’t know what the next few months were going to bring. We broke our embrace, dried our eyes and I said, “I’ll try. I swear. But come home every chance you get, okay? I can be back here within an hour of your call.”

   “Okay.”

   “Promise?”

   “Pinky swear.”

   “Well, jeez. Now I know you really mean it.”

   That made us laugh a little, and I figured I’d better let her get back to her packing. By that point, our crying jag had almost become more of a celebration of the next chapter of our lives, rather than pure grief over having to say goodbye.

   It was a weird set of mixed emotions I was feeling- happy and scared and excited and sad- as I actually walked out of her room and back down the street. Sure, she wouldn’t be three houses down or even living in the same city where I could go see her any time I wanted, but I knew we’d still talk. A lot. Like every spare moment we got.

   There was no doubt in my mind that Lisa and I would always be a part of each other’s lives forever, so at least I took that small comfort away with me. It’s not as though we had really said goodbye. It was more like see-you-later.

   With the rest of my friends, I wished I could be as sure.

   My father and Bruce were both planning to drive me into New York the following morning, giving us the whole day to spend together in the city while getting me settled in my dorm. So, Dad didn’t mind when I told him I’d made plans with my friends for my last official night in town.

   Which was good, because I still hadn’t said goodbye to Trip.

Chapter 35

RHAPSODY IN AUGUST

   I started the car but kept it in park while I gunned the engine, trying to kick-start the air-conditioning. I had it set to full blast, but the day had been a scorcher and it was taking a few extra minutes to get the freon flowing. Even nearing dusk, the heat was barely showing any sign of letting up. The physical labor of the past hour had left me overheated, my face damp with sweat, causing moist little tendrils to appear around the edges of my hairline.