Retribution (Sebastian Trilogy Book 3) (6 page)

Our guests, replete and slightly drunk and resplendent in their masks and finery, appear to have few inhibitions and in no time the dance floor is shaking with the moves of the dancers and vibrating with the beat of the live band.

Sebastian is being decidedly cool toward me since I apparently humiliated him at dinner. I decide he is being most disingenuous. It is after all my birthday and he provided the champagne and wine, knowing that it goes straight to my head.

“What a fabulous party,
”
Ruth gushes excitedly. “So many interesting people and I think I’ve got a couple of leads for the business. Terry and Barbara someone are looking for a senior manager. I’ve given my business card. Then I was talking to a pompous man called Paul, who said his investment company needs some personnel so he has my card too. It’s all good, Beth.”

It’s difficult to concentrate on what Ruth is saying because the room keeps shrinking most disconcertingly. I don’t recall it being this small. Perhaps because of the tented dance floor it appears reduced, but that doesn’t explain why I can physically see the walls moving inward. I grasp Ruth’s arm, alarmed at the speed with which the room shrinks.

“Do you see that?
”
I ask her, my eyes wide with fear.

“See what? Beth, what’s the matter?
”
She sounds fearful, so she must see it too.

“The room. It’s closing in on us. Something weird is going on here. Fuck, we’ve got to get out. Get everyone out before we’re all crushed.
”
My eyes dart from wall to ceiling to floor, to the people dancing who don’t seem to care.

“Beth! Listen to me. The room is not shrinking. Do you hear me?
”
She’s shaking me. Why does everyone shake me, like I’m nuts or something? Shaking me will not make the room stop shrinking.

The people in masks are looking at me. Staring. Weird grotesque masks made of snakes and blood and amidst them all is Sebastian. He’s dancing with Scarlett, holding her close, his lips whispering against her ear, oblivious to the danger which is befalling us all. What’s he whispering to her? How much he loves her? Fuck them both; let them be crushed!

“Beth, stop it! You’re scaring me. What’s happened to you? Is it grief? Oh shit, where’s Sebastian?”

She’s looking around for him but he’s right there on the dance floor. Oh, he’s gone. I catch a glimpse of Scarlett’s black dress in the hallway. I need to follow her. Need to catch them together, confront them. Pulling free of Ruth, I make haste after Scarlett. I feel guilty leaving Ruth in danger but she’s a big girl, she can take care of herself. Ruth tries to stop me but I break away, and the masks watch me run.

The swish of black satin vanishes through the door to Sebastian’s study making it apparent that he’s taking her to the chamber. They’re moving fast and I’m finding it difficult to keep up, dizziness and nausea threatening to overcome me. Through the study I run, my hip catching on the corner of his desk painfully, and onwards to the steps down to the cellars.

Clinging to the rope handrail, I descend each stone step with trepidation, yet with a steely resolve to finally discover the truth about them. As each step takes me nearer to the chamber of pain, I realise I don’t actually want to find them together for to do so would shatter my entire world and compound the loss I have already suffered. Yet, my overwhelming desire to know the truth forces me forward.

The ancient door creaks under my hand, revealing the first chamber—the chamber of pain disguised as a wine cellar—is empty. Onwards to the far door to the smaller, circular chamber, I creep. I hear noises beyond the small oak door, the sound of a cane, lashing across flesh.

My trembling hand is gripping the latch so tightly that my knuckles blanche. My body is clammy, my legs leaden. Taking deep breaths, I try and stave off the imminent blackness that threatens to consume me.
Do it, Beth. Open the door. You have to know
.

Chapter 6

Blackness blurs my vision as the room spins. Blinking rapidly and on the cusp of hyperventilating I take a tentative step into the small chamber. The smell of sweet vanilla incense fills my senses, making me nauseous. Candles flicker to my left, casting an ethereal light across the circular bed, over which Scarlett is bent. Her black satin dress is hitched up high exposing milky white buttocks streaked with purple red stripes. Her hands clutch at the red silk sheet. Her head is down and she’s pushing her bottom up to meet the lashings.

“Yes. Oh yes. Harder please, Sir. I beg you. Please, Sir,
”
she beseeches.

Sebastian is looking at me squarely, his arm held aloft, clutching the cane. He’s changed his mask and now bears the demonic face of Satan himself and his voice has morphed into a carnal growl.

“Watch us, bitch.”

Scarlett laughs shrilly. “Don’t waste your time with her. She’s a crazy spoiled slut.”

“Why are you both doing this to me?
”
Bile rises. I’m going to be sick. “I hate you. You’ve lied to me,
”
I sob, my entire body trembling uncontrollably. The blackness almost obscures my vision entirely. I can’t see him clearly anymore but I hear him.

“You’re next, my fucking little whore. Lift your dress and bend over the fucking bed. DO IT. NOW.”

“No. No. I loved you. You’re breaking my heart.
”
My legs give way and I sink down onto the cold stone floor, welcoming the support it gives me. He’s pulling me up by my hair.
No, leave me alone. It hurts
. The words won’t come out of my mouth. My legs grow weak again. A sharp slap stings my cheek. Down on the cold stone again. Shapes. I can see shapes, greys and blacks against the light. A large black shape is next to satanic Sebastian and I think the shape strikes Sebastian who falls onto the bed. The black shape and a smaller grey shape move to me, and the huge black shape scoops me up. It’s so strong I feel safe in its arms. I give in to the darkness, my heart broken. I want the darkness to possess me, not wanting this life anymore.

Joe’s tiny hand strokes my cheek. He’s sitting on the bed beside me, smiling adoringly, his expression one of impish mischief.

“Good morning, little man. What are you up to?”

“I’ve come to see you again, Mummy. I’ve been away to a really cool place.”

“Have you, darling? What was it like there?”

“Amazing, Mummy. Daddy said I had to come and see you because you’re poorly.”

“That was thoughtful of Daddy, but Mummy’s just tired. Mummy’s coming to your special cool place very soon, and then we’ll be together again. Won’t that be fun?”

“No, Mummy. I miss you, but you can’t come yet. Daddy said I have to remember to tell you you’re not mad. It’s the lady. Daddy says it’s the bad lady. I don’t like the bad lady, Mummy. I want her to go away.”

“Sebastian loves the bad lady, darling. That’s why Mummy is going to come to the cool place.”

“Daddy says it’s the lady. He says it isn’t Sebastian.”

“I know, Joe, but grownups are confusing. Know that I miss you so very much. I’m so happy you’ve come to see me. Thank you, darling.”

“That’s okay. I have to go now, Mummy, but I’ll come back and see you again soon. I liked the picnic you had, by the way. You didn’t have my favourite brownies, though.”

“It was a lovely picnic. Next time I’ll make sure there are a dozen brownies just for you.”

“Yummy, thank you. Oh and I’m cool with people going in my old bedroom, Mummy. Bella can have my console.”

“Are you sure, Joe? It’s still your room.”

“No, Mummy. I’ve got an even more amazing room now. One day you’ll see it.”

“I’d like that, Joe. I’m glad you’re happy.”

“I’m really happy, but it makes me sad to see you poorly. Get away from the bad lady, please, Mummy.”

“I will, darling. I will. Try not to worry, Mummy’s a big girl.”

“Bye, Mummy.
”
He brushes my cheek with a feather light kiss.

“Don’t go, Joe. Please don’t go.”

“I have to, Mummy. Daddy’s come to get me.”

“Oh. Okay. Joe…”

“Yes, Mummy?”

“Tell Daddy I’m sorry. Tell him I did love him, I just didn’t realise it at the time.”

“Daddy says he loved you too and try not to worry, just be safe.”

The fog lifts sufficiently for my eyes to focus on Sebastian perched on the side of the bed.

“Go away,
”
I plead, pulling the duvet over my head. He tugs it down and peers at me.

“Elizabeth. Darling, I’ve been so worried. Thank God you’re awake, you’ve been having nightmares and hallucinations.
”
He’s tenderly laying a cool flannel on my forehead. I have a pounding headache.

“You disturbed Joe. How dare you.”

“Joe’s gone, darling. You’re sick but I’m going to get you the help you need.”

“Joe. Was. Here.”

“Okay, Elizabeth. Joe was here.”

“You don’t believe me, you think I’m insane.”

“No. I think you are missing Joe very much.”

“Of course I’m bloody missing him, but he was here. I don’t care if you believe me or not.”

“If you say Joe was here, then Joe was here.
”
He wipes my brow, his eyes clouded with pity.

“You all think I’m mad but I saw the two of you. You and…her. All these months, you’ve lied to me.
”
My voice is laced with hysteria as hot tears tumble down my cheeks.

He looks crestfallen. He leaves the flannel on my head and runs a finger down my cheek, tracing the watery tracks.

“Don’t touch me.”

“You silly girl.
”
He sighs. “It wasn’t me, Elizabeth. You saw Marcus with Scarlett.”

Marcus? Do you think I’m stupid? I know what I saw
. “It was you,
”
I say emphatically.

“No, darling. It was Marcus. He and Scarlett have been play partners for a long time. Since shortly after Scarlett moved here, actually.”

“But I saw you.”

“No. What you saw was Marcus and…I have to say, he’s no longer my friend. I understand it’s all blurry to you, but you were hallucinating, Elizabeth. Ruth came and found me and together we tracked you down to the chamber. Thank God I got there in time. He was about to force you into a session knowing that you are mine. Knowing that you were sick.
”
He runs his hands through his dishevelled hair. He looks unkempt, still in his black suit trousers and white dress shirt, open necked, cuffs undone. He looks so forlorn and lost that my heart breaks all over again. “I’m afraid I punched him hard, he spent the rest of the night in hospital with a broken nose. Serves the fucker right.
”

Marcus? This can’t be true. I saw them with my own eyes.

“I saw you, Sebastian.”

“The man you saw was Marcus. Not me. You trust Ruth, don’t you?”

“With my life. Yes. It’s you I don’t trust.”

Sebastian takes a step back from the bed as Ruth appears by his side, her face etched with concern. She looks as though she’s been crying; her eyes are red-rimmed. “Hi, Beth, love. What Sebastian says is true. I was there when he hit Marcus. The scumbag had you by the hair and slapped you. If Sebastian hadn’t hit him, I’d have sodding killed him, I swear I would.”

“Then…am I insane? What’s happening to me? It’s all so confusing, Ruth. I keep seeing things…terrible, weird things and they seem so real to me.”

Joe was here and it was so real. Was he just a hallucination too? Or did he really come down from Heaven to warn me? Oh God, I hope he was real. But if he was real, then I’m truly in danger.

“You’re going to have to see a doctor, Beth. Sebastian and I think that Joe and Alan’s deaths are really impacting you now. You’ve been so strong, too strong, and not grieved properly. It’s grief, we’re sure, and maybe you need some medication just to see you through this rough patch.
”
Ruth is stroking my hand as though I am a sick geriatric aunt. “You’re coming back to Dorset with me for a few days so that I can feed you up and get you better. Okay?”

“I don’t want pills, Ruth. I’ve never heard of grief doing this to someone. But we did plan to go home for a few days. It would be nice to see everyone at work, and Mum. Bella is coming too, isn’t she?”

“Bella is coming too. It’s her birthday this week, remember?”

“Oh yes. Her birthday,
”
I reflect absently, my mind still focused on Sebastian. “Ruth, do you promise me that Sebastian has been faithful?”

Ruth sighs deeply. “I know what I saw last night, Beth. It was Marcus, not Sebastian with Scarlett. Sebastian is a good man, aren’t you, Sebastian?”

“Positively angelic, Ruth.
”
He grins, winking at me. A smile plays on my lips and a surge of relief courses through my body.

“Though he’s into some seriously freaky kinkiness,
”
Ruth adds conspiratorially. “I do want a conversation with you about that, but not now.”

“I’m not sure you could ever be called angelic, Sebastian, but I am sorry that I doubted you. I love you. It broke my heart to think you didn’t love me.
”
My hand strokes his rough unshaven jaw. He kisses my fingertips as they brush across his lower lip.

“I love you with my heart and soul. We do need to get you well, though, Elizabeth. I can’t go through this again, not after Libby.”

“After Libby went mad, you mean.”

“She hallucinated. She was paranoid. I see the same pattern in your behaviours as in hers before she deteriorated beyond help. I don’t intend for you to slip away from me as she did.
”
He kisses my knuckles.

“I think it’s Scarlett.”

“You think what is Scarlett?
”
His eyes darken, his mouth setting in a firm line.

“I think she’s poisoning me.
”
There, I’ve said it. The sinister thought now seems more credible as I think it through. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle as goose bumps form on my arms.

“For fuck’s sake, Elizabeth. She’s got a lot of issues, but she’s not malevolent. Why the hell would she poison you? You see what I mean about paranoia?
”
He rakes his hands through his hair as he always does when he’s angry.

“Think about it. She’s been insistent on cooking every meal, when she knows I’ve wanted to cook for you. She’s had every opportunity to lace my food.”

“Why? Why would she want to do that? You’re not making any sense. It’s irrational.
”
He shifts away from me, coldly.

“Because of you, Sebastian,
”
I implore, my voice shrill. “She loves you, or thinks she does, and both Libby and I have gotten in her way. She told me she only encouraged me to move here for my children—some twisted idea of hers that my kids would become your heirs. Don’t you see? When Libby couldn’t have children, she no longer served a use for you. That’s the way Scarlett viewed it. It’s always about your happiness, your needs. She’s obsessed with you.”

“I’ve heard enough,
”
he barks, rising from the bed. “Go to Dorset. Take some pills and come back when you’re rational. I do
not
want to go through this again, listening to the ranting of a lunatic. I’ve had enough!
”
He slams the bedroom door as I crumble into Ruth’s arms.

“I’m not crazy, Ruth. It is her. I know it is. How do I prove it?
”
I sob.

“Shh, love,
”
she soothes. “If Scarlett is poisoning you, and I’m not saying I agree with you—it’s very farfetched—but if she is, then when you leave here, you will get well. That will prove it. Also, a doctor will be able to tell if you’re being poisoned.”

“Okay, but take me away today. Please. I’m so scared.”

Ruth strokes my back, her voice calm but her underlying concern toward me is palpable. “We can’t leave today, love. Sebastian’s shrink is coming this afternoon. I think we should let him decide if what you’re experiencing is grief-related.”

Sighing dejectedly, I move away from her, pulling the duvet up to my chin, the sting from her words hurting as severely as any pain inflicted upon me in the chamber. She thinks I’m crazy too. For the first time in our friendship, my best friend doubts me. “I’m not making this up, Ruth, and it’s not grief. Maybe when I’m poisoned to death, you will all believe me.”

“I’m not doubting you, love.
”
Ruth closes the distance between us and tucks a stray curl behind my ear tenderly. I flinch at her touch; she pulls her hand back. “What I’m saying is, no one suffers a loss as profound as yours without some fallout. Grief festers, Beth, and it can’t do any harm in talking to the shrink so we can at least eradicate grief. That will leave two possible causes for your hallucinations. One: you have a virus or some hideous brain tumour. Two: you’re being poisoned. Simple.”