Retribution (SSU Trilogy Book 3) (The Surgical Strike Unit) (23 page)

Given alone, the drug had so improved the mental capabilities of Nevsky’s subjects that their brains hadn’t been able to handle the increased demand. Some of the men had literally burned out, dying when too many of their neural processing centers shut down due to overload. Others had gone insane.

Gabby’s theory was that the drug’s negative effects would be countered by what remained of Kaufmann’s drugs in Rafe’s system. Drugs that blocked mental pathways. Her tests confirmed that Nevsky’s drugs should act on the sectors of the brain involved in keeping Rafe a prisoner within his own mind, but still, she was terrified. What if she was wrong? A note in Nevsky’s files indicated that he’d once tried mixing his two drug formulas. The subject had experienced one day of both enhanced intelligence and superior strength. Then he’d fallen into a coma and died.

None of Gabby’s tests had indicated such a severe reaction would occur in Rafe, but what if she’d missed some key piece of data? What if she’d incorrectly calibrated the dosage?

“Gabby, stop worrying,” Kai chided. He’d learned to read her too well these past weeks. “The rest of your team has checked your data, reproduced your results, and agreed with your conclusion. This is Rafe’s best chance. Even if it fails, it won’t be your fault. Rafe gets the final go-ahead.”

She knew that. She did. But a part of her didn’t accept it. This was her formula. If Rafe didn’t come out of this okay, it would be because she’d failed to account for some unforeseen variable.

Gabby bit her lip. “I know. It’s just—”

“It’s hard to give the go ahead to use Nevsky’s formula on Rafe when we don’t know what the results are going to be,” Kai finished for her. “I know.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll monitor him closely. He’s not going to die.”

She nodded. To do nothing was irresponsible. Just because she was afraid didn’t mean this was a bad decision. She owed it to Rafe to give him every chance.

She’d seen the pain in Rafe’s eyes. Seen how frustrated he got when he failed to complete a basic test or was unable to communicate to her in anything but simple phrases.

If this formula would give him a chance at recovery, who was she to let her fear stand in the way?

She let out a long breath, forcing her fears to follow. “So, when are we going to ask him?” Gabby asked.

Ryker stood up. “How about now?”

Kai squeezed her shoulder. “It’s the right thing to do, Gabby. You’ll see.”

She closed her eyes.
Please let him be right. Please let this bring Rafe back to us. He doesn’t deserve to stay trapped the way he is.

CIA Headquarters

Langley, Virginia

M
ark Tonelli slowly ran the handheld scanner over the pages of the report Jamieson had given him. Finding out details about Kaufmann and his program was turning out to be much easier than Mark had expected. All he’d done was let a bit of his disgust show when Jamieson had given him a rundown on the program. His boss had seized on that and insisted on throwing tasks at him that drew him into further responsibility for the program. Mark suspected he was being set up to be the fall guy if the program became public, but he couldn’t worry about that now.

He flipped a page of the report, then closed his eyes briefly and shook his head. He’d been naïve when he’d originally thought the drug program Jamieson supported was just about increasing body strength through enhanced steroids. He’d never guessed that men would go to such lengths to create superhuman soldiers.

But this report showed how much care Kaufmann’s team took in picking their subjects. It was a catalog of male military personnel complete with photos. The report listed their vital statistics—age, height, weight—and rated key traits such as intelligence, obedience, and loyalty.

Jamieson had explained that as the program matured it became increasingly difficult to find men who responded well to the conditioning. So Kaufmann had put together a wish list of traits.

Mark had been tasked with sorting through this catalog, which was updated monthly, for men with Kaufmann’s desired traits. Jamieson’s contact at the Department of Defense would then help arrange for an “accident” where the man would be declared dead.

In reality, he’d be shipped to Kaufmann’s lab.

While he read through the list, Mark kept an eye out for any mention of Faith’s brother, Toby Andrews. Just thinking of the spunky former reporter brought a half-smile to Mark’s lips. The woman had pulled a gun on him earlier in the week, in a desperate attempt to learn what had happened to her missing brother. Toby had been in military intelligence and the information he left his sister had led her to Jamieson. She’d seen Mark leaving a restaurant where she’d followed his boss and decided Mark was the easier target.

That move had saved her life. Jamieson would have had her killed on the spot. Mark, on the other hand, had found himself entranced by the woman. He’d agreed to help locate her brother in return for access to all the information her brother had gathered.

Unfortunately, he suspected Faith’s brother had already been sent to Kaufmann. While Jamieson trusted Mark enough to give him access to the catalog in order to select potential new subjects, he’d yet to find any evidence of who was already in the program. He wouldn’t tell Faith his suspicions until he had proof, because the odds of her brother surviving more than a few months with Kaufmann were slim.

In the meantime, Mark kept a duplicate list of potential candidates, which he’d send to Ryker tonight. He trusted the SSU director would make sure none of the targets actually ended up in Kaufmann’s lab.

SSU Laboratories

Georgia

R
afe knew something was the matter the moment Gabby walked into his room, followed by Kai and Ryker. They never visited him all together.

Over the last few weeks the voices in his head telling him to kill had all but disappeared, taking with them the excruciating headaches. He’d been allowed to visit with Niko, and the love and acceptance he’d received from his brother had eased some of his soul deep pain. After Niko, Rafe had slowly been reintroduced to in-person chats with Kai and Ryker. Niko had recently been called away on a mission, but Kai stopped by to chat every once in a while and Ryker had been by twice to talk about SSU business.

Ryker’s visits had frustrated them both. His boss had clearly hoped that talking about the day-to-day operations of the SSU would trigger Rafe to remember more of his past. Ryker had explained that he’d been training Rafe to take over as director when he retired in five years or so. Rafe didn’t remember and couldn’t imagine ever wanting to sit behind a desk. All he wanted was to move. To release his constant restlessness. But he’d hated the hint of sadness and regret that had crept into Ryker’s eyes.

He didn’t like disappointing the man any more than he liked disappointing Gabby.

Rafe fought the urge to lower his head in shame. He still couldn’t speak like an adult, but the memories of what had been done to him, and what he’d done, haunted him. Made him feel less than a man.

How could he look Ryker in the eye, knowing that Kaufmann and his scientists had ordered Rafe to kill, and he’d done so, even when it meant fighting Depaoli to the death. He’d watched the light go out in his friend’s eyes after Rafe had stabbed Depaoli in the chest. Rafe could still feel the screams of denial pressing against his windpipe, demanding to get out. But the compulsion to obey the Voice had been too strong. The Voice had ordered him to kill, so he’d killed, while his tears splashed in a macabre polka dot pattern onto the dirt coating Depaoli’s face.

For the rest of his life, Rafe would have nightmares about Depaoli’s death. And yet every time Rafe tried to tell Ryker what he’d done, the splitting pain in his head returned. He couldn’t even write it down. Kaufmann had fucked with his brain that much. Trapping him alone in here with his thoughts.

Fighting off insanity and feeling worthless.

Worse, he knew the information locked in his head was vital to finding Kaufmann and stopping whatever plans the scientist had for the upcoming anniversary attack. But dammit, he still couldn’t remember anything about the lab’s location.

Whenever he tried, blinding light speared through his mind, followed by shattering pain. The doctors had tried sedation, hypnosis, biorhythmic feedback. None of it worked.

Only Gabby kept him from going nuts. He anticipated her nightly visits with childlike excitement.

“Rafe,” Ryker said. “We’d like to discuss something with you.”

Rafe glanced from Ryker to Kai to Gabby. Kai had on his serious scientist face. Gabby held the clipboard with his chart stiffly in front of her. Her lowered eyes stared at the data on the chart as if it held the secrets to the universe. Yet even with the expression in her eyes hidden, the tight line of Gabby’s mouth gave away her tension. She would suck at poker, because no matter how hard she tried, Rafe could always tell what mood she was in.

“What wrong?” Rafe demanded, directing his question at Kai. But, dammit, his words answered the question, didn’t they? He still wasn’t able to form grammatically correct sentences. His mind knew it, but there was still a block between his thoughts and his mouth.

Kai cut his eyes to Gabby. She sighed and finally raised her eyes.

The sorrow and fear there made him wish he was sitting down. “Rafe, your test results have flatlined. There’s been no improvement on the cognition. Your mental skills. In fact, there’s been a slight decline. If we don’t do something quickly, we’re afraid you’re going to get worse.”

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and worried it.

Rafe’s hope deflated. He’d tried so hard on the test yesterday. He’d thought he’d done better, even though it still felt as if he was constantly watching himself through a thick layer of Jell-O. No matter how hard he focused on the right thing to do, his hands and mouth refused to obey.

“We want to try Nevsky’s intelligence formula on you, Rafe,” Kai said. “Gabby and her team have worked up a calibration that they believe will work well with your body. But the decision is up to you.”

“Safe?” Rafe asked.

“We don’t know,” Gabby admitted. “We think so, but we can’t be sure. We haven’t anyone to test it on, except you. The test tube results indicate it’s safe.”

But Gabby was afraid, he could see it in her eyes. Kai held himself still, waiting for an answer. A part of Rafe’s brain that remembered Kai from before interpreted this as tension, although Kai’s expression was neutral. Ryker, as usual, had a face impossible to read.

“Die?” Rafe asked.

Gabby bit down hard on her lip and Rafe suddenly found himself unable to tear his gaze away as warmth filled him. He had the strangest urge to soothe her chewed lip with his tongue.

He jerked his eyes away, knowing this was the wrong time to be thinking such things.

“We don’t know how dangerous this drug could be,” Gabby said quietly. “It might kill you. It might make you insane. It might help you break through the barrier holding back your intelligence.”

Rafe looked around his room. He was sick of this place. They now allowed him more time in other parts of the compound, but he was always escorted, and he always returned to this one room. He couldn’t remember everything about his previous life, but he knew that living like this was a slow form of death.

And if he started to slide back to how he’d been in Kaufmann’s hands?

No. He wouldn’t regress. He trusted Gabby and Kai to have this formula right.

“Do—” Rafe shook his head. That wasn’t the right response. “Yes.” There. He’d said it.

“Are you sure?” Gabby took a step toward him and raised her hand as if she wanted to grab his arm and shake some sense into him. But at the last second, her hand fell away. “Rafe, Nevsky’s subjects all died.”

“Sure,” Rafe answered. He tried to project through his eyes what his tongue couldn’t express. He’d rather die than go back to what he’d been. “Never…monster…again.”

Gabby’s eyes filled with tears, but she nodded. “Okay.” She glanced down at his chart.

“We’ll start this afternoon,” Kai said.

Rafe dipped his head in acknowledgement. He wanted to hold Gabby. To tell her everything was going to be all right. But he remembered her words. This was work for her. He wasn’t supposed to hug her in front of Kai or any of the others.

Even as his mind processed this information, he found his arms reaching for her. And when she rushed into his embrace and burrowed against him, Rafe forgot all the reasons this could be anything but right.

I
t hurt.

The drugs feeding through the intravenous shunt burned Rafe’s veins, making it nearly impossible to keep his face impassive. But that’s what he needed to do. He couldn’t let Gabby see his pain. She was already worried about using these drugs on him. He wouldn’t give her any reason to pull back now.

But God, it hurt. He’d forgotten the sheer agony as the drugs scalded his veins. Kaufmann must have used a similar drug, because the pain reached the same excruciating level. It seeped into his every pore, leaving him no place to hide. He closed his eyes and breathed through his mouth in shallow pants, the way he’d done to survive Kaufmann’s treatments.

“Rafe, are you okay?” Gabby’s fingers were cool against the overheated skin on his forearm.

“Hurts. Burns.”

Gabby gasped.

Horrified to realize he’d spoken out loud, Rafe opened his eyes. His attention snagged on her white lab coat. W
hite coats. Pain. Cold. Orders… No! Don’t make me do it. Please—

Terror shot through him. His body started to shake.

“Rafe!” Gabby’s voice, sharp with concern.

“Go away!” Suddenly, he didn’t want her here. Didn’t want her seeing him like this. In pain. Afraid. Weak.

Didn’t want Gabby and her white coat to become associated with this torture.

“Rafe, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize this would hurt you. I’ll—”

He reached out with the arm not being injected and grabbed her wrist. The pain clawed at his chest, threatening to cut off his breathing. He knew what would come next. Animal moans. Crying. Pleading.