Ride On (19 page)

‘Jesus.' Jimmy had his free hand on his face. ‘Bastards …'

‘Yeah. Well anyway, you might want to give her a call. I'm very sorry about this, man. I hope it doesn't mess things up for the two of you, but it sounds like she already saw it.'

‘Well it would explain the last bleedin' phone call I got anyway.'

‘Man, I have to run. I'll scan the piece and email it to you. Or I'll just bring it to London?'

‘Can you email it? Now. I'll go into town and find an Internet café or something. We're in the middle of nowhere out here.'

‘Okay. I'll do it when I hang up. Listen, I'll catch you later, right?'

‘Yeah. Thanks Dónal. Seeya.'

‘Seeya Jimmy.'

Jimmy put the phone down and looked at it for a minute, biting at his knuckle. Then he picked it up again and put on his coat. She probably hated his guts now but he had to call her and apologise. To tell her it wasn't the way they made it out too, of course, but more importantly to apologise for scandalising her on the pages of some crap rag. But he wasn't going to do it here where the other two were hanging around. She had every right to be absolutely livid. Of course she did. Christ, at least Jimmy was getting used to being in the public eye. But Susan didn't deserve this.

He went out of the house and looked over at the others. He had to tell them about London and about Dónal getting in touch with Trish earlier.

‘No Aesop,' Norman was saying. ‘Along the grain.'

‘I am.'

‘You're not. Here, I'll show you again.'

‘I can do it.'

‘You're making a balls of it.'

‘Leave me alone Norman. I can do it.'

‘You're going around in circles!'

‘Will you fuck off! I can paint a bleedin' door.'

‘I keep telling you, it's not paint. Here … just let me …'

Jimmy sighed and went over to his car. He'd talk to them later.

‘Lads, I'm going out for a bit,' he called back.

‘Can I come?' said Aesop.

‘Yeah, Jesus,' said Norman. ‘Will you bring him, Jimmy? Please. He has me tormented here.'

‘Sorry man. I have to sort something out. Seeya in an hour or so.'

While Norman was distracted, Aesop made another grab at the paintbrush. The can of wood stainer went flying off the bench and spilled onto the ground.

‘Oops.'

‘You fuckin' little …'

Norman was looking down at his ruined shoes.

‘Norman … now Norman … deep breaths …'

Jimmy shook his head and sat into the car. In the back window he could see Norman chasing Aesop down the garden.

Twenty minutes later, he pulled in and parked on the main road of Kanturk. His head was still going a million miles a minute, so he decided to walk back down to the river and sit down for a smoke. It was lovely there, with the water folding over the rocks and clouds racing in the sky. When he was sure the email would be in from Dónal, he went back and found an Internet café. Two minutes later he was fuming again, the small scanned article on the screen in front of him.

‘Bastards …' he muttered. He sighed and pulled out his phone. He had to call her. Had to.

‘Hello?'

‘Hey Susan. It's Jimmy.'

‘Oh. Jimmy. Jimmy, I'm in work.'

‘Can you talk? Is there somewhere you can … eh …'

‘Well … look, just hang on a minute, can you? I'll see if the conference room is free.'

‘No problem Susan.'

He heard a few muffled clicks and scrapes as she moved and used the time to take a couple of big breaths. That seemed to go okay. She didn't sound like she was going to read him the riot act anyway.

‘Jimmy?'

‘Yep. Still here.'

‘Good. I wanted to talk to you.'

‘Yeah? Great. I really wanted to talk to you too. The last time we …'

‘It's not about us Jimmy,' she said. She was trying to sound all business-like. ‘I was just wondering if you or Aesop had heard from Amanda.'

‘Amanda? No. I don't think so. Why?'

‘Well, it's just that I haven't heard from her for a few weeks and she said she'd keep in touch.'

‘She's in Paris, isn't she?'

‘I think she was, but she might be in Ireland now.'

‘Right. Well, I haven't heard from her. And Aesop hasn't been on email for a few days. We're down in Cork taking a little break. Norman's Granny's old house.'

‘Oh.'

‘Why do you think she's in Ireland?'

‘Well it's just that the last time she called me, I could hear all these people swearing in the background, so … y'know …'

‘Eh … okay. Well I'll ask Aesop to check his messages and let you know.'

‘Thanks. I'm sure she's fine and all, but I just wanted to ask you if she'd been onto you. She was talking about Aesop a lot before she left. I think she's still hung up on him.'

‘God. Listen Susan, you should probably tell her that he's not worth getting hung up on, y'know?'

‘I know. I have. But she's kind of got it in her head. And she really wasn't herself before she left. She might have the idea that, well, there might be something there and try to see him. It was all, “I must send Paul an email” and “I wonder how Paul is getting on” and all that. She never calls him Aesop. It's like a special thing they have between them.'

‘They don't have a special thing, Susan, sorry. And it's nothing to do with Amanda. She's just barking up the wrong tree with that fella.'

‘So I gathered. Okay. Well anyway … what did you want to talk about? Jimmy, I kind of said everything I had to say last time.'

‘Yeah. I understand. But I just got off the phone with Dónal. Remember Dónal? Our manager?'

‘I remember.'

‘Well he told me about what they put in that newspaper over there. And he emailed it to me. I'm looking at it right now.'

She didn't say anything.

‘Susan, I don't know what to say. I can't believe those bastards did that. I'm so sorry. I understand now why … y'know … the last time we spoke …'

Nothing.

‘Listen … I mean I'm only starting to get used to all this stuff myself, but I do know how you must have felt. Please, I … it was a horrible thing to have happen to you. And I'm sorry. Really sorry. Susan? Are … are you still there?'

‘Yes.'

She was crying. He could hear the sniffles. Fuck.

‘I got such a shock Jimmy.'

‘I know.'

‘I felt so … God, it was like the Twilight Zone, but there I was on the page.'

‘I'm sorry. If there's any way to get the pricks for doing that, I'll find it. I swear.'

‘Everyone knew. Everyone knew I was seeing you. I know it was hard, with you being in Ireland and all, but I was so proud, Jimmy. You'd come on the telly or they'd play your songs in the pub and everyone would look at me and give a big cheer. I was so proud of you. Like a bloody fool. Thought I'd bagged a real live rockstar! God, I'm so stupid …'

‘Listen Susan, before you say anything else … listen, right?'

‘What?'

‘That girl in the picture was Aesop's sister. Jennifer. Remember I told you …'

‘Oh Jimmy don't. Please …'

‘I swear to God, Susan. It was Jennifer. I've known her all my life. I'm going to be the best man at her wedding this year. Marco is my mate. We worked together for years. He'd be right next to her in the picture if the bastard that took it didn't cut him out. You would have met her in Dublin except she's in Galway every other week for work. Really, Susan. That whole bullshit article was nothing only some idiot's idea of a gossip column.'

‘She's kissing you.'

‘She's like my sister, Susan. I'd just given her a wedding present and she was kissing me to say thanks. I don't know what fucking hole the photographer crawled out of at that particular moment, but that's the picture he published. And I don't know where the other one came from either. Jesus, they must really hide behind hedges or something, the fu …'

‘Jimmy …'

‘Yeah.'

‘I … how many girls have there been since I was in Dublin?'

‘One. You.'

‘Please Jimmy … don't …'

‘I swear.'

‘But why? For God's sake, we're not even together! We were just … barely clinging onto it.'

‘I know that. And I know that it's my fault. Susan, I'm going to be on the road for at least six months this year. I'll be in the studio for four at least when we get back. How can I ask you to …'

‘But you haven't asked me, Jimmy! You just figured it all out on your own and decided what was best.'

Now it was Jimmy's turn to say nothing.

‘Jimmy, I had my mother in tears on the phone over that newspaper piece.'

‘Aw fuck. I'm sorry.'

‘My twelve year old niece was crying because I promised her that she could meet you when you came over to visit. My Dad wants to murder you and you don't want to know the things my sister says about you. These are people I love, Jimmy. Do you understand what this last week has been like for me?'

‘Yeah. I do.'

‘Jimmy, I can't wait around for twelve months so you can sort yourself out. I actually thought I might be able to, but I can't. After this? What would happen? I fly over to see you for a few days, get snapped leaving your hotel some morning? Another notch on the rockstar's bedpost?'

‘What?! It wouldn't be like that at all Susan. I'm not like that.'

‘Well, maybe
I
can believe that, Jimmy. But you're public property now and I've got other people to think about. What would your Mum have thought if it had been an Irish paper? Smutty stories about her darling son. Well I've got a family too, Jimmy. I'm not putting them through that. I haven't been able to go out for a week since that picture came out. I go home from work and watch the TV. That's it. I was so embarrassed. The groupie. That's what they all think I am now.'

‘No one thinks that, Susan. That's only …'

‘Jimmy, please. I'm sorry I gave you a hard time last time we spoke. I thought … well, I s'pose you know what I was thinking. And I'm sorry for thinking it. But no more newspapers for me. It's not who I am. I don't do socialite slut and I won't be your half girlfriend either. I'm sorry Jimmy.'

‘Susan, listen, I'll be in London this weekend. For work. Why don't we …'

‘No! Jimmy, please don't call. Please. I've made up my mind. This isn't working and we need to let it go before it gets worse.'

‘But if we just … this weekend …'

‘No Jimmy. No. God, I can't see you now.'

She was crying again.

‘But why? Susan, listen, we can have the whole weekend. I don't have to be back until …'

‘Bloody hell, Jimmy, can you not … not just leave me alone?'

‘No. I don't want to.'

‘Please. Don't call when you get here.'

‘Why?'

‘It's too hard. It's too hard.'

‘But it's just a weekend. We can talk … why does that have to be hard?'

She was barely audible now through the sobbing, but Jimmy heard the next thing she said and it was like a punch in the chest.

‘Because I love you Jimmy
!'

And then pinpricks of cold marched up his back and into his hair.

‘Amanda who?' said Aesop.

Jimmy put his face into his hands and looked through his fingers.

‘Fuck sakes … Susan's friend, Aesop.'

Aesop's face was totally blank.

‘Susan …' he said, rubbing his chin.

Jimmy sighed.

‘Yeah. My girlfriend, you fucking waste of space. Amanda is her friend. With the GT-R?'

‘The GT … ? Ah yeah. I remember now. English bird. I rode her in Japan.'

‘Well at least you got the continent right.'

‘And she's gone AWOL, is she?'

‘Well Susan hasn't heard from her for a bit and she was just wondering if you had.'

‘Why would I have heard from her?'

‘Because the poor insane girl still has a thing for you.'

‘I see. A cling-on? Phasers on stun, like?'

‘Just check your email when you can and let me know if she's been onto you, okay?'

‘No problem. But does she not know that I'm engaged to Helen now?'

‘Does Helen know?'

Norman turned around from the sink where he was peeling spuds.

‘I've a sharp knife over here in me hand, Aesop. Shut your hole. You're on probation until I hear from Trish later. And by the way, you owe me a pair of work boots.'

‘Paint on the shoes is an occupational hazard for clod-hoppers like that, Norman. And anyway, if you'd let me have a proper go it never would've spilt.'

‘Well I want a new pair, Aesop. These are your clod-hoppers now.'

‘Mine? What am I meant to do with a pair of size seventeen boots? Jesus, me and Jimmy could make matching jackets out of them.'

‘I don't give a shite what you do with them. Hey Jimmy, Susan reckons that Amanda is over here, is it?'

‘Yeah. Why?'

‘Ah just wondering. I never met her, but I heard all the stories. Nice girl?'

‘Grand, yeah. But she was a bit down. She was after getting dumped and all and thought that this degenerate over here might be her new Prince Charming.'

‘God. Talk about being wide of the mark.'

‘Yeah. Anyway, she's off travelling now and Susan was wondering why she hadn't been in touch.'

‘Right.'

Norman got back to peeling the spuds. He didn't want to say anything yet.

‘Do you still have all them photos on your laptop?' he said over his shoulder. ‘From the holiday, like?'

‘Yeah, they're in me room. Do you want to have a look at them?'

‘Sure why not. It's raining out now. Something to do. I only saw them for a minute when you got back.'

‘Yeah, well they're in there. Hang on and I'll get them.'

Aesop yawned.

‘Jesus, is this what we're reduced to now, is it? A slide show from the holliers? Isn't the country great? So much more fun than Dublin. I've always said it.'

‘Would you rather finish the potatoes?'

‘Peel potatoes? Man, you don't want me peeling your spuds. You'll end up with marbles.'

‘So you've nothing at all to contribute. And yet here you are … still flapping your gob.'

‘What are we having anyway?'

‘I'm making a curry.'

‘A curry? I'm not great with spicy stuff, Norman.'

‘It won't be too bad.'

‘What kind of curry?'

‘Beef vindaloo.'

‘Is that a hot one?'

‘Nah. You'll be fine.'

‘Are you sure, now?'

‘Aesop, what kind of a whinging fucking child are you? It's only a bit of spice. It won't kill you.'

‘I'm just saying, like …'

Jimmy came back with his computer and fired it up.

‘Actually, I haven't looked at these in ages.'

They crowded around him at the coffee table.

‘Look! There's Johnny!' laughed Aesop. ‘He doesn't know I'm after robbing his pint, look.'

It was a on a slideshow setting, each new picture fading into the last one.

‘That's the band in Tokyo is it?' said Norman. ‘In that pub?'

‘What the Dickens, yeah. Remember that bloke in the rubber gimp suit Aesop?'

‘Now
that
I do remember. He fancied me as well. Madame Tina, wasn't it?'

‘Jaysis, he remembers the name and all. Yeah, Madame Tina. Mad fucker.'

‘Oh there's Shiggy. Nice pose man.'

‘He was showing off his new hair cut.'

They all laughed at the next one.

‘That's Samui. Prem must have taken that one out in the garden.'

Then up came a picture of Jimmy, Susan, Aesop and Amanda, the four of them standing together just at the edge of the sea. The lads all stopped laughing and bent in very slightly closer for a better look.

Jimmy gazed at Susan's melting eyes and that perfect smile. He felt a small thump in his stomach.

Aesop blew a quiet whistle at the blonde chick coming out of the sea in the background, off to the side. He hadn't noticed her before.

And Norman stared at the picture of Amanda, frowning and biting at his thumbnail. He wanted to remember that face.

*

After dinner, the lads headed to Kavanaghs. Helen had called and said there was an open mike session and it'd be a good laugh. Jimmy wasn't sure it was a brilliant idea. For starters, what were the chances that he'd be able to just sit there and enjoy his pint? Fuck all probably. He'd be cajoled onto the stage at some point in the evening. And anyway, he wasn't really in the mood for the pub. At the end of the phone call earlier to Susan, he'd spent five minutes just shushing her and telling her it'd be okay – whatever that meant – and then she said she had to go. He could see her sniffling back to her desk, eyes and nose red, make-up running down her face and every fucker looking at her. Well, okay, she'd probably go to the jacks first to sort herself out, but still. He was after doing that to her. He – Mr fucking Nice Guy Jimmy – had rung off and left a girl he was crazy about to sort out her own shit without saying anything to make it right, or even knowing what right was.

‘Jesus, it's jammers,' said Aesop, looking around the pub when they pushed open the door.

‘They must like their sessions down here,' said Jimmy.

Helen and Jessie were sitting at a table with a few other girls and Jessie waved over, gesturing to a few spare seats.

The lads waved back and Norman and Aesop made their way over to the girls, as Jimmy prepared to push his way to the bar to get a round in.

‘Anyway, you're some cunt,' said Aesop.

‘It was only a curry, Aesop,' said Norman.

‘I'm afraid to fart.'

‘You didn't have to eat it.'

‘I did!'

‘Well then you're a gobshite.'

‘Fuck sake, I had to put a roll of toilet paper in the fridge for later …'

As their conversation faded out, Jimmy found that he didn't actually have to do much pushing to get to the bar. The crowd parted before him like he was carrying a staff and wearing a long flowing cloak. By the time he actually pulled up in front of the taps he was puce. Everyone was staring at him and the pub was nearly silent. Bollocks anyway.

The barman grinned at him.

‘Now, yes please,' he said.

‘I'll have, eh, three pints of Murphys and …'

He looked over to the table. Aesop was standing and holding up the various drinks and giving him the count with his fingers.

‘ … eh, one white wine … eh … is that Becks? … eh …'

‘Is it for the girls?'

‘Yeah. Just over there.'

‘No problem. I know the round.'

‘Good man. Thanks.'

Jimmy started poking around in his pocket for his wallet and got a tap on the shoulder. He turned around.

‘You're Jimmy Collins.'

The guy was about twenty and looked like he'd been in the pub since lunchtime.

‘Yeah. Howsit goin'?'

‘Grand. You look like yourself, so you do.'

‘Do I? Yeah …'

‘I play the guitar as well.'

‘Oh right.'

The guy just grinned at him, swaying a little bit, what looked like a JD and Coke making small circles in the air in front of Jimmy.

‘And … eh … what kind of music do you play?' said Jimmy. He hated these ones the worst. Someone makes a point of coming up to talk to you and then has fuck all to say.

‘Ah … y'know.'

‘Right, yeah. Nice pub, isn't it?'

‘That black girl in the video …'

‘The Strut video?'

‘Where's she from?'

‘Eh, Longford I think.'

‘Yeah? Fuck off! What's her name?'

The bloke wasn't making any great effort to keep his spittle in his mouth and Jimmy was trying to lean back without knocking the setting pints off the counter behind him.

‘I can't remember. We weren't really talking.'

‘She was all over you, sure!'

‘Ah, they were just dancers.'

‘Lucky bastard.'

The smile on Jimmy's dial was under pressure. He did remember her name. It was Shamari and she danced when she wasn't studying at the Royal College of Surgeons. She was from Somalia. But this muppet didn't need to know any of that.

Another salvo of silvery flecks were launched at him from the USS Arsehole. Christ. Where was the bloody barman with the rest of the drinks?

‘I'd say you rode the arse off her, boy, didn't you?'

He started cackling now, like he was after coming out with a classic. Jimmy smiled as best he could.

‘Sorry pal, I just need to get these drinks. I'll seeya later.'

He started to turn around.

‘You will indeed. Up there,' said the other bloke, pointing back at the stage. ‘Sure we'll be seeing you as well, won't we?'

‘Well, I'm only really out for a pint with me mates, so …'

He followed the guy's thumb and stopped talking. There was a big sign on the wall behind the piano.

Tuesday Night

Open Mike Night!

9pm - Late

Featuring Special Guest Performance by …

!! The Grove !!

‘Oh bollocks,' said Jimmy, quietly. How the fuck had that happened?

His new pal was gone now, knocking elbows and apologising his way back to his mates. Jimmy paid the barman and picked up the tray of drinks. The throng parted for him again and then he was sitting down and Aesop was introducing him to all the girls at the table.

‘Aesop?' he said, leaning in, once he had his pint in his hand.

‘Yeah?'

‘Did you see that sign up on the stage?'

‘What sign?

‘The one that says we're doing a gig tonight in here.'

‘What?'

‘That's what it says.'

Aesop half stood up and looked up at the stage.

‘But there's no drums. We need drums.'

‘We need a fucking bass player too, Aesop, remember?'

‘Well why did you say we'd play?'

‘I didn't say anything! I don't know where …'

‘Guys …'

It was Helen. She was sitting opposite Aesop and leaned forward.

‘Listen, I'm really sorry. I think I know what happened. I said to Mam that you'd be here tonight and … well, she must have gotten straight on the phone. Packie Kavanagh owns this place and Nuala his wife is in the choir with Mam.'

‘Is the pub usually like this for the Open Mike?' said Jimmy, looking around.

Helen gave a little grimace.

‘Sorry. No. This is like a Saturday night, sure.'

‘So they're here to see us?'

She nodded.

‘Lads, I'm sorry. Really. I can go up and talk to Packie if you like?'

‘Nah. It's all right.'

‘Are you sure?'

‘I'll talk to him. Which one is he?'

‘The red tie.'

‘Okay.'

He took a big pull on his pint.

‘Back in a minute.'

Aesop watched Jimmy go up to the bar. Jessie was between him and Norman, so the coast was relatively clear. He turned to Helen.

‘So are you singing tonight Helen?'

‘Ah yeah. One or two, maybe.'

‘You were really … great the other night.'

‘Would you stop.'

‘Really, Helen. I don't usually go for trad sessions and all, but you were brilliant. And you looked deadly up there too. But I told you all that already, didn't I? You were made for the stage, I'm telling you.'

‘God. What's all this? You must be trying to seduce me now, are you?'

‘Me? Jesus, no. What gave you that idea?'

She laughed.

‘Aesop, do you not read the stuff they write about you in the papers?'

‘Eh, well, some of it I do. I don't go looking for stuff though. Why? What are they saying?'

‘Let's just say you have a bit of a reputation.'

‘Right. A sterling one, like? Fine upstanding young gentleman? That kind of reputation?'

‘Depends on your point of view. And everyone around here now has got one. Since the two of you arrived, it's all anyone's talking about.'

‘What about your point of view? How's my reputation there?'

She gave a little shrug.

‘Well … I like to make up my own mind about things.'

‘And, so what do you … eh …'

She laughed and put a hand on his knee. Christ she was fucking smashing. He wanted to gobble her up.

‘Someone's getting the evil eye,' she whispered. ‘Look.'

Aesop turned around. Norman was leaning over so he could see past Jessie.

‘All right there Aesop?'

‘Couldn't be better, man. How's trix with you?'

‘Grand, grand. Are you going up to the bar?'

‘Jimmy's up there.'

‘I think he needs a hand.'

‘He's grand.'

‘He's not.'

‘He is, look.'

‘I think I heard him calling you.'