Rising from the Ashes (33 page)

Stacia was an evil bitch. There was no question about it. If she wasn’t getting married the following day, I might have seriously kicked her ass for putting me in such an awkward situation. She’d sworn up and down that Jeremy and I had been paired together for the wedding procession strictly based on height, but I knew she was full of shit. She’d done it on purpose. If I thought it would do a damn bit of good, I would have pitched a grade-A middle school hissy fit, but I was pretty sure every single one of our so-called friends was in on the little coup.

“I’m disowning you bitches when this weekend is over. You hear me? Dis. Owned.”

“Hey, it’s not our fault you’re a midget and have to stand at the end,” Lizzy hissed from next to me, earning a laugh from Emmy and Mickey and an evil glare from Stacia as she and Gavin ran through the motions of what they would be doing at the real ceremony.

I let out a snort and gave an eye roll. Then I turned back to pay attention to the rest of the rehearsal.

Before I knew it, it was time for us to do the practice run of walking back up the aisle. I walked from my perch and met Jeremy at the end of the aisle, looping my hand through his arm. I tried to mask the involuntary shiver that shot through my body at his touch, but it was pointless. I was sure he’d felt it.

We were halfway to our destination when he tilted his head down and whispered in my ear, “You look beautiful, sugar.”

God, I missed that name, I missed that voice, I missed his scent. There wasn’t anything about him that I didn’t miss like crazy.

Clearing my throat, I kept my eyes straight ahead. “Thank you,” I whispered.

I was both relieved and sad when we broke apart at the entrance to the venue. Desperately needing a moment alone so that I could collect myself, I parted from Jeremy and headed straight to the restroom. I grabbed a handful of paper towels and held them under the running water before wringing them out and placing them on my forehead.

“You okay?”

I looked up to see Lizzy pushing the restroom door closed behind her to maintain privacy. I placed the cold, damp paper towels on the part of my chest that wasn’t covered by my dress in an attempt to cool my flushed skin. Jeremy still had that much of an effect on me.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just needed a breather.”

She narrowed her eyes, really studying my demeanor. “You sure you can handle this?” She walked over to me and took the paper towels out of my hand before tossing them in the trash.

I faked courage that I certainly wasn’t feeling at the moment. “Of course. I’m fine, I swear. Let’s get back out there before Trevor tracks you down and tries to live out his sex-in-the-women’s-restroom fantasy.”

Lizzy rolled her eyes and laughed as we went out to join our friends.

Later in the evening Ben showed up to the dinner as Mickey’s date, and seeing them together just reaffirmed how perfect they were for each other. While I was happy for them, I also felt a pang of envy at what they had.

As the night progressed, my eyes would unwillingly turn to seek out Jeremy, like I instinctively knew exactly where he was at all times. Every time I looked at him, he would turn to meet my gaze as though he could feel my eyes on him. He would shoot me a little grin, setting my blood on fire every time. It eventually became too much and I decided to call it a night. I hugged everyone good night, including Jeremy, and I left to go back to Lizzy’s house.

During the past three months of living in a different city, I knew that I missed Cloverleaf. I just hadn’t realized how much until I was back. It was more than just the people that I missed. I missed Virgie May’s, I missed my old job, and I missed my perfect little house.

Taking a detour on the way to Lizzy’s, I turned and headed toward my old home. Ben had helped take care of the sale, so I wouldn’t have to deal with all the small aspects of it from four hours away. He never told me who had bought it, and I’d never wanted to ask.

That house was special to me. I’d purchased it using solely my income from P&C. I had felt so proud of myself when I bought it. I’d spent months painting and decorating it until it was exactly what I wanted it to be. The idea of someone else living in the house I’d poured so much love into killed me, but I’d made my choice. I’d chosen to leave in the hopes of finding a happiness I thought I’d lost. But now that I was back, I wasn’t so sure that I’d done the right thing.

I pulled up next to the curb and stepped out of my car. There weren’t many lights on my old street, so I wasn’t able to see the shiny black GTO sitting in the driveway until I was standing at the end of it.

What were the odds of someone else in this small town owning a car almost identical to the one Jeremy had been restoring for years? I was so lost in thought as I stared at the car that I didn’t hear the footsteps coming up behind me.

“Taking a trip down memory lane?”

I let out a startled scream and spun around with years of self defense training kicking in instantly. I pulled my arm back, and with as much power as my little frame could muster, I punched whoever was standing behind me right in the nose.

“Ah! Sonofabitch, Savvy! What the hell did you do that for?”

I looked down at the hunched over form in the driveway and finally registered who it was. “Jeremy?”

“Yeah, Jeremy. Who the hell else did you think it was?”

I felt my defenses rising even though he was the one sporting a bloody nose. “Well, that’s what you get for sneaking up on me! You don’t just creep up behind a woman in the middle of the night and not expect to get punched in the face. You’re lucky I didn’t kick you in the balls.”

He stood to his full height and tipped his head back, pinching his nose to try to stop the bleeding. “Fuck, I think you broke my damn nose.”

I crossed my arms over my chest and cocked a hip. “You deserved worse, scaring me like that. What are you doing here anyway? Did you follow me?”

He turned his head down to look at me, still pinching his nose. “Don’t flatter yourself, Ali. I live here. Technically, you’re trespassing. Should I call Luke and report that as well as the assault?”

My mind went in a million different directions. I couldn’t even form a proper comeback. “What do you mean, you live here?”

He pulled a set of keys from his pocket and made his way to the front stoop. He slid a key into the lock and opened the door. “I mean, I live here—as in, I bought the house. You want to come in, so I can get some ice? Or you want to stay out here all damn night and maybe beat the shit out of anyone else who should accidentally cross your path?”

I made my way into the house in a daze. As soon as I crossed the threshold, the breath in my lungs froze and I came to a dead stop. Nothing had changed at all. I’d rented a small apartment in Austin, so I hadn’t been able to take most of my furniture with me. I’d opted to sell the rest of it with the purchase of the house. Everything I hadn’t taken with me was still in the exact place where I’d left it. Only now, there were a few other odds and ends that Jeremy added to the mix. He hadn’t touched a thing that I left behind. It was almost as if I’d never moved away.

Jeremy stepped around me and made his way to the kitchen. I followed behind him and took a seat on one of my old bar stools at the island as he filled a baggy full of ice and wrapped it in a dish towel.

“You do realize I’m gonna be standing in that wedding tomorrow with two black eyes, don’t you?”

“I can’t believe you bought my house,” I replied, still in shock. “Why didn’t Ben tell me it was you?”

Jeremy lowered the ice pack and looked at me. “Because I asked him not to.”

“Why would you do that?”

Jeremy leaned against the counter across from me and tossed the pack into the sink. The bleeding had stopped, but he was right about the black eyes. I could already see faint purple marks starting to form. I felt a twinge of guilt, but at the same time, I also kind of felt a sense of pride. I hadn’t realized I packed such a mean punch. I was a total badass.

“I asked Ben to keep the sale private. I was hoping to surprise you. I just didn’t expect bodily injury to be a part of it.”

“Jeremy…”

He let out a breath and continued, “This is your home, Savvy. It’s where you belong. I know you said leaving was something you had to do, but I couldn’t stop hoping that you’d want to come back one day. I wanted to make sure that if that day ever came, you’d have something to come back to.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Jeremy bought my house. He’d bought it for me.

“I don’t understand,” I said, trying desperately to keep my tears in check.

“You loved this house, sugar. I remember how excited you were when you bought it. It’s not right that you had to give all of that up. I want you to have it.”

“But you said you live here.”

“Yeah, I do.” He walked around the island and stopped right next to me, tucking an errant strand of hair behind my ear. “Because I’m your home too.”

I dropped my head and squeezed my eyes closed, letting the tears that escaped fall onto my lap.

“I know we didn’t always get it right, and I know we caused each other a lot of pain along the way, but that doesn’t change the fact that you and I are meant to spend the rest of our lives together. We’re meant to start a family and grow old together in this house, so I bought it. I’m just waiting for you to see what’s been right in front of you all along, sugar.”

I stood from the bar stool and took a step away from Jeremy. I wasn’t able to breathe with him standing so close. I couldn’t listen to what he was saying. It was too much.

“How can you say that, Jer? Two people who are made to be together shouldn’t cause each other pain. I hurt you over and over. That’s not how someone is supposed to treat their soul mate.”

He took a step closer, causing me to back up again. If I let him touch me, I’d cave. And if I caved, I’d have to admit that there was a possibility I’d been wrong, that leaving wasn’t what I was supposed to do. The foundation of my life was already dangerously shaky. A blow like that would cause it to crumble completely, and I didn’t know what I would do if that were to happen.

“People make mistakes¸ Savannah. We’re only human. Those mistakes don’t define us. It’s how we choose to fix them that really matters. I know you felt like leaving is what you had to do, but I want you to know that when you’re ready, you can quit running. I’ll be here to take care of you. I’ll
always
be here, sugar.”

That was all I could handle. I couldn’t listen to any more. That last sentence terrified me.

“I can’t do this, Jeremy. I’m so sorry. I have to go.” Without a backward glance, I turned and ran to the door.

I couldn’t breathe. No matter how hard I tried, I didn’t feel like I could get enough air in my lungs, so I did what I’d always done when I was scared to death.

I ran.

I woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. I’d spent the majority of the night tossing and turning, replaying Jeremy’s words in my head over and over. He’d said he would always be there, but I wasn’t sure I could trust that. It wasn’t his fault though. It was mine. I wanted to believe him, but a person could only try so hard, could only handle so much.