Rising from the Ashes (31 page)

I stepped out of the deli and onto the sidewalk, and the first thing I noticed was Ben walking in my direction. His head was down as he typed away on his phone, so he hadn’t noticed me yet. Rage boiled through my bloodstream at the sight of him. That was the man who had helped Savannah leave Cloverleaf, who had helped her leave me. I wanted to rip his pretty boy throat out.

I stood in silence until he was just a few feet away from me. “Hey, asshole.”

His head shot up, and his eyes narrowed when they met mine. “I’m sorry, I know you can’t be talking to me,” he replied sarcastically.

“You sure about that?”

He slid his thumb across the screen of his phone and slid it into the back pocket of his sure-to-be designer jeans. “I hope you’d be smarter than to call other people assholes. Kind of hypocritical, don’t you think?”

I took a step closer to him. “How the fuck could you help her leave?” I asked, grinding my teeth so hard they hurt. “You were supposed to be her friend!”

He gave me a shove before burrowing his finger in my chest. “I
am
her friend, you son of a bitch!”

“Then, why did you convince her to leave?” I all but yelled.

His eyes widened in shock. “Is that what you think I did?” A sarcastic laugh bubbled up from his throat. “Man, you really are a deluded fuck, aren’t you? I didn’t convince her to do anything. You should know her better than that.”

I couldn’t deny his point on that one.

“As a matter of fact, I tried to talk her out of it, but she was adamant that this is what she wanted, so I helped her. Because I’m. Her. Friend.”

I’d officially run out of steam on my anger.

“And you might want to check who you call an asshole. You’re the one standing here while your girl’s packing up her whole life to move to a different city at any minute.” He turned and began to walk away but not before delivering one last parting shot. “Looks like you’re the one who’s the asshole, if you ask me.” Then he was gone.

He was right, and that just pissed me off all the more. But this time, that anger was directed to a completely different target. It was directed at me.

Three Months Later

Life wasn’t exactly as I’d expected it to be. I’d hoped that I would find a way to be happy again and move past the horrible decisions I’d made, and to some extent, I had. I was able to look at myself in the mirror without feeling enormous resentment toward the person looking back at me, but there was still one problem, and it was a huge one. I was terribly lonely. I missed my family.

Work was going well, and I’d managed to make a few friends during my time there, but it wasn’t the same. A few men had shown interest, but I had no desire whatsoever to date anyone. I wasn’t sure how long it would take me to get over Jeremy—or if I was even capable of doing that. One thing was for sure though—three months was
not
enough time.

I had to admit that I was excited to be going home for Stacia and Gavin’s wedding. I missed everyone tremendously. Between wedding plans, work, and life in general, none of us had really had the chance to make a trip to visit. There were phone calls and Skype, but it wasn’t the same. I’d even spoken to Emmy quite a few times. Things were still a little strained, but we were getting there, and I was thankful for that. Other than a few inane text messages and emails, I hadn’t really talked to Jeremy. We would discuss things like how our days had gone or what the weather was like, but that was about it. Every interaction left me craving something more substantial, but I had no clue how to get us there. I missed him like I was missing a part of myself.

That night was the rehearsal dinner for Gavin and Stacia, and I had just finished packing when my cell phone rang.

“Hello, Lizzy…for the third time today,” I answered.

“Are you on the road yet?”

I laughed at her asking the same question she’d asked each time she called. “I would be if you’d stop calling and let me finish packing already.”

“God, you’re slow,” she grumbled pathetically. “Will you please get a move on? Trevor is driving me insane. The guy has stopped by my damn house every single day since you left to, as he puts it, check up on me, which in Trevor-speak just means trying to cop a feel and see if he can get lucky.”

I let out a laugh as I grabbed my rolling suitcase and the garment bag containing my bridesmaid dress. “Well, has he?”

“Has he what?” she asked.

“Has he gotten lucky?” I could almost picture her eyes rolling from over the phone.

“
Pfft
, he wishes. The man’s slept with every vagina that has crossed his path. I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot pole.”

I was willing to put money on her changing her tune eventually, but I kept that to myself.

She changed the direction of our conversation and asked again, “So when are you leaving?”

It was my turn to roll my eyes. “I’m walking out the door now. You sure it’s cool if I stay with you?”

“Of course. If you even think about getting a hotel room while you’re here, I’ll track you down and beat you bloody.”

“All right, all right. I’m on my way. I’m excited to finally see everybody.”

Lizzy let out a small giggle. “By everybody, you mean Jeremy, right?”

“I mean everybody,” I replied.

She got quiet for a few seconds. “You know you don’t have to put on a brave face around me, right? You can be honest.”

I paused at the front door and rested my head against it. “I know I can, Liz. It’s just hard. I miss him so much every damn day. You’d think it would eventually get easier.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, babe. Maybe things will be a little clearer after this weekend.”

God, I really hope so.

I pulled up to Lizzy’s house and barely had the chance to get out of my car before Emmy, Mickey, Stacia, and Lizzy came running from the house and up to my car. They were all jerking me into hugs and talking a mile a minute so that I wasn’t able to make out anything anyone was saying.

I stepped out of the fray and held my hands up to stop them. “Just slow down. I can’t hear what any of you are saying.”

None of them missed a beat as they yelled out choruses of, “We missed you,” and, “I’m so glad you’re home.”

I felt the love I hadn’t felt since the moment I drove away from Cloverleaf. It felt amazing to be back.

Lizzy and Mickey grabbed my bags to take them inside with Stacia following closely behind them.

Emmy held me back, asking if she could have a minute to talk. As soon as we were alone, she wrapped me in another hug. “God, Savvy, I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too,” I replied, giving her back a pat before pulling away.

“No, I mean, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed my best friend. I know things haven’t been the same between us, but I just needed you to know that. I’ve missed you like crazy, and I’d give anything for things to go back to the way they used to be. I need my best friend back. Just tell me what I need to do to make things right again.”

I gave her a watery smile. “You just did it. I’ve missed my best friend too.”

“Oh, thank God,” she said with a sigh of relief. “Because I need a maid of honor.”

My jaw dropped to the ground. Then, my eyes shot down to the beautiful round-cut solitaire adorning her left ring finger. “Oh my God!” I exclaimed, grabbing her hand to examine it closely. “Are you kidding me? Why is this the first I’m hearing of a proposal?”

She was smiling so brightly that my heart couldn’t have been filled with any more happiness for her.

“I wanted to tell you in person. Well, I actually wanted to ask you to be my maid of honor in person. I hated the idea of asking you over the phone.”

I shook my head, trying to dispel some of my shock. “Yes! Of course I’ll be your maid of honor!”

We went back to the whole hugging and crying thing like we were back in high school.

“So when did this happen?”

The happiness was still evident on her face, but something else was there, something I wasn’t sure I recognized.

“It was only a week ago. It kind of…came unexpectedly, you could say.”

“Well, I hope he didn’t spoil the surprise of proposing to you,” I replied.

“No, I mean, we weren’t really planning on getting engaged just yet.”

“Really? What changed?” The minute the question left my mouth, it hit me. Considering the unexpected engagement, I suddenly understood what the strange look on her face was. It was fear. “Holy shit, Emmy. You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”

A smile spread on her face so wide that it made my own cheeks hurt.

She began to nod her head frantically. “Yeah.”

Standing in the middle of Lizzy’s driveway, I let out an excited squeal and grabbed a hold of her, jumping up and down with my arms around her. “Oh my God! I can’t believe it! This is so fantastic.”

I pulled away, holding her at arm’s length, so I could look her up and down, just in case there was any way I could notice a little baby bump. Of course, I couldn’t. Her stomach was still as flat as always, but I just couldn’t help myself.

“I’m so happy for you, Emmy.”

That fear crept back into her eyes. “I’m scared, Savvy. What if…” She couldn’t even bring herself to finish the sentence.

“Don’t think like that, Emmy. This is going to be fine, just focus on that. This baby is going to be a blessing,” I told her, placing my hands on her flat stomach and smiling reassuringly. “This one is going to be different. I can feel it.”

“You think so?”

I placed my hands on her cheeks and gave a confident nod. “I know so. This is a good thing, babe, a very good thing.”

Stacia opened the door and hollered out for us to get our asses inside. I turned to head that way when Emmy grabbed my arm and stopped me.

“No one else knows about this right now. Luke and I kind of want to keep it under wraps until we’re in the clear, you know?”

The fact that she’d told me before anyone else showed me exactly how close we were to getting back to the way we used to be.

“Of course. My lips are sealed. And when I promise you that I won’t tell everybody, I don’t mean that in a Luke Allen sort of way. I mean I promise not to tell
any
body.”

We both laughed as we made our way into the house.

Lizzy had been right. Maybe this weekend back in Cloverleaf was what I needed to figure everything out.