Rising from the Ashes (29 page)

The discomfort on his face would have been hilarious if I wasn’t such an emotional wreck already.

“Come on now, killer, don’t cry.” He gave me an awkward pat on the back. “The doc said you were dehydrated. Can’t have you cryin’ all your fluids out.”

I let out a deep belly laugh at that. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”

“Well, better safe than sorry.”

I got my laughter under control and wiped the tears from my eyes. “It means a lot to me that you’re here, Luke. I know we haven’t always gotten along, but—”

He reached over and grabbed my hand. “That’s in the past, Savvy. No need to get all mushy on me now.”

I slugged him on the shoulder and gave him a small smile. “Yeah, well, you know what I mean.”

He gave the hand he was holding a reassuring squeeze. “Yeah, I do. You know it can only get better from here, right?”

I did know that, but I couldn’t tell him why it was going to get better. I was too exhausted for that conversation.

“I know you’re tired. I’ll leave to let you get some rest. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I will be,” I replied as he walked toward the door. “Oh, Luke?”

He looked over his shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Can you keep me being in the hospital just between us?”

“Don’t worry about it, killer. I won’t tell everyone.”

“Thanks, Luke.”

“Anytime.” And with that, he was gone.

Luke called early in the morning, asking me to meet him at his and Emmy’s house when I was finished at the garage.

By the time I pulled up, the sun had already gone down, and both of their cars were in the driveway. I walked up the stairs to their front porch and through the door, not bothering to knock. None of us ever knocked. We either had a key, or the door would be unlocked.

“Anybody home?” I called out, stepping into the foyer.

Walking in on Emmy and Luke was a running joke with our group of friends. Ever since they had gotten back together, those two couldn’t be bothered with making it to their bedroom most evenings before ripping off each other’s clothes. Every one of us had walked in on them at some stage of undress at least once. I would think they’d learn to lock the damn door.

“Everyone decent?” I hollered out as I turned toward the living room.

Luke was sitting on the couch next to Emmy with his arm around her shoulders. Her head was bent, and her body was shaking. She sniffled, and I suddenly knew she was crying.

My stomach dropped, and my heart lodged in my throat. “What happened?” I croaked. My mouth went dry as the Sahara.

Emmy kept her eyes down and shook her head.

I walked the rest of the way into the living room and met Luke’s eyes.

“Savannah was hospitalized today,” he said in a quiet voice.

My knees gave out, and I collapsed back onto the club chair that was thankfully behind me. “What?”

“She’s gonna be fine. I went and saw her today. The doc said she was severely dehydrated, and hadn’t been eating right. Apparently, she collapsed at work, and they had to call an ambulance. That was the only reason I knew what was going on. I was at the station when the call came in.”

It took several seconds for me to catch my breath enough for me to talk. “Why didn’t she call anybody?” I finally asked.

The only think I could picture was Savannah lying in a hospital bed, all alone. I knew how much she hated hospitals. The thought of her being there with no one by her side was like a punch straight to the chest.

“She made me promise not to tell, but I kinda found a loophole around that. I said I wouldn’t tell
everyone
. I might have left out that I intended to tell the two of you.”

I ran my hands through my hair and rested my elbows on my knees. “Jesus,” I whispered.

“She looks bad, man. I don’t know how much weight she’s lost since the last time I saw her, but I’m telling you, it’s too much. The girl looks like she hasn’t eaten in forever.”

Emmy choked on a sob, and Luke turned back to soothingly run a hand over her hair.

“But she’s gonna be okay?” I asked, swallowing back a sob of my own.

“Yeah, she’s going to be fine,” Luke replied. “The doctor wanted to keep her overnight for observation, but she’s okay. She’s got an IV in, and they’re pumping her full of fluids, but she’ll get out tomorrow.”

At that, Emmy finally said, “God, I’ve been such a bitch to her. She didn’t deserve any of it. I’m a horrible friend.”

I was feeling the same way about myself. Yeah, Savannah had messed up and hurt me in the process, but did she really deserve to be treated as horribly as I’d been treating her? I would never forgive myself if something happened to her before I had a chance to make things right. I was a fucking idiot.

I stood as fast as I could and headed to the door. “I have to see her,” I said to no one in particular.

Emmy was on her feet the instant I spoke. “Me too. I’m going with you.”

She reached for her purse just as Luke caught up.

“Slow down, baby girl,” he told her. “I think it’s best if Jeremy goes on his own. Why don’t you give him time to say what he needs to say? Then, you can go see her tomorrow.”

I could have kissed him for that. I understood that Emmy needed to talk to her also, but I needed to speak to Savannah without the risk of any interruptions. I didn’t wait for a response from Emmy. I simply pulled the door open and hauled ass to Savannah as fast as I could.

“Excuse me, sir,” a voice said from the hallway. “Visiting hours are over.”

The commotion in the hallway had pulled me from my sleep. I was still in a daze when I heard a voice that sounded a lot like Jeremy’s.

“I have to go in there. I need to see her.”

I closed my eyes, and I was beginning to doze again, convinced I was just hearing things. Then, the door burst open, and I opened my eyes to see Jeremy standing there.

“Jeremy?”

His face morphed from what looked like determination to uncertainty. “Hey,” he mumbled, taking a step into the room.

A nurse came rushing in behind him. “Sir, you can’t be here,” she insisted.

I held up my hand to let her know that everything was all right. “It’s okay. Can you just let him stay for a bit?”

Her eyes bounced between me and Jeremy before she let out an aggravated sigh and threw her hands up in resignation. “Fine, but only for a few minutes.”

She left, pulling the door closed behind her.

Jeremy made his way to the chair next to my bed and sat down. “What’s up with Nurse Ratched?”

I didn’t bother responding to his insult of the nurse who had just been doing her job. “Luke told you, didn’t he? Jeez, that man is worse than a bunch of gossipy old ladies.”

Jeremy chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “In his defense, he only promised you that he wouldn’t tell
everyone
.”

I could just imagine Luke saying something like that. “Got to love his logic, I guess. I didn’t think he had it in him to be so clever.”

“I was pretty surprised myself.”

When his eyes came up and met mine, I wasn’t able to maintain contact. Looking down at my hands, I began chewing on my bottom lip.

“That doesn’t really explain why you’re here,” I said to Jeremy.

He reached over the bed railing and placed his hand under my chin, forcing me to meet his eyes. “Did you really think I wouldn’t come once I heard what happened?” he asked seriously.

I gave him an awkward smile and shrugged a shoulder. “Honestly? I wasn’t sure. You weren’t even supposed to know I was in here.”

Jeremy pulled the chair closer to the bed and rested his forearms across the rail. “I’m glad Luke told me. And I never want you to doubt that I’ll be there for you if you ever need me.”

I was so tired of crying. I’d never been that girl who tears up at the drop of a hat, but for the past several weeks, it seemed like that was all I’d been doing. To my dismay, I found myself choked up again. I turned my head away and brushed at the tears staining my cheeks.

“I thought you hated me,” I whispered pathetically.

God, who is this woman I’ve become?
I couldn’t even recognize myself when I looked in the mirror most mornings. I was growing to hate the reflection staring back at me.

“Sugar, please look at me.”

The sorrow in his voice mixed with his nickname for me did me in. The dam burst, and the tears ran down freely.

“Please don’t think that. I could never hate you. I was hurt, but I could never hate you.” He reached up and brushed a tear away with his thumb. “I still love you, Savvy, always will.”

No.

No, no, no, no.

I couldn’t hear that. I couldn’t handle Jeremy telling me he loved me. I wasn’t strong enough. I shook my head frantically. “Jeremy, don’t. Please don’t say that.”

He placed his hands on my cheeks, stopping my head from shaking. “It’s true, Savannah. I still love you. I’m still
in love
with you. When Luke told me you were in the hospital, my whole world crashed. All I could think was that I needed to make things right between us, that I couldn’t lose you—”

“Jeremy, stop,” I demanded.

His sure demeanor faltered the second I spoke.

“I can’t do this. I just can’t,” I pleaded.

I tried pushing away from him, but Jeremy grabbed hold of my hands and wouldn’t let go.

“Savannah, we can make this work. I still love you, and you still love me. I know you do.”

“No,” I said in the strongest voice I could summon up. “It can’t work, Jer. Don’t you see that? We’ve tried so many times now, and all we manage to do is hurt each other. Besides, aren’t you back together with Charlotte?”

That question gave him pause. “No, I’m not back with Charlotte. It was just that one night, just a stupid, drunken mistake. If I could take it back, I would. I never wanted you to see that.”

I let out a sarcastic laugh. “That’s exactly what I’m talking about. We keep hurting each other, even when we don’t mean to. Our entire relationship was based on mistakes and regrets. People can’t function like that, Jeremy. We’re toxic.”

He stood from the chair so quickly that it went flying into the wall behind it. “We are
not
toxic, Savannah. We made mistakes. Everyone does. There were secrets in our past, but that’s all out in the open now. If we try this and are completely honest with each other, we can make this work.”