ROAR (50 page)

If he truly wanted a future with her, he needed to figure out a way to make her the center of his universe every single day.

He’d already screwed up once by bringing Pamela along on this trip and telling himself he could be content with her companionship, but perhaps his subconscious had already begun steering him in a new direction. Only he hadn’t been the one with his hand on the tiller; it had been Pamela, especially in the restaurant that first night. She’d firmly, but gently, guided him down a new path.

What did the future hold for them? He hadn’t bothered to think beyond today in a positive way in…forever. He had a choice to make. He couldn’t think about the days ahead anymore without picturing Pamela at his side. But would she be content with living together in a lifelong committed relationship without marriage? What if she wanted children someday? She’d apparently never been in a relationship where the idea had been discussed seriously. Would being with him keep her from living life to the fullest?

When he reached the end of the public beach area, Kristoffer faced the bay again and watched the sloop spin in circles. Must be novice sailors on board.

Kristoffer had been caught
in irons
, too, as Jeremy called it. Spinning and going nowhere.

The time had come for him to re-chart his life.

He turned south and realized how far he’d walked. All he knew in this moment was that there was a beautiful, caring, dynamic woman waiting in that house down the beach who saw something in him worthwhile enough that she’d ventured to California with him. He sure as hell had an interest in pursuing something more with her.

He and Pamela had the next few days to explore where this relationship might go, but only if he could let go of the past and allow her into his heart. Why waste one more minute out here alone? He’d been alone long enough.

He began running down the beach toward the ginger-haired sprite who had shone her light into his dark, lonely world. He searched for the caterers and soon spotted the tables. As he drew closer, he saw two of them tying pink and yellow balloons to the chairs for the kids who would soon arrive for their party.

Life had given him a new reason to celebrate as well. Normally, before making any major changes in his life, he’d spend hours if not days carefully analyzing, assessing risks, and planning. But from now on, he intended to take a new tack. Life had given him a precious second chance at love with Pamela.

As he left the wet sand and made his way to the staircase and his shoes, one of the pink balloons escaped the hands of the caterer. As he walked, he watched it float on the wind toward him. As it drifted over him, he paused and turned to watch it dancing on its merry way out to sea, never even to be missed by the kids at the party.

Time, too, was a precious commodity that could be ripped away in the blink of an eye. For however long he and Pamela chose to be together, he wanted to share every moment with her, both here in California and back home.

Kristoffer wanted to be like that balloon, reveling in being free of its moorings and floating free. He’d wasted too many opportunities with Pamela as it was.

Not anymore.

N
o sooner had Pamela retrieved the information for her mom than the front door closed with a bang. The dogs barked enthusiastic greetings. Kristoffer must not be aware that the dogs would more than alert her of his return. But she appreciated he didn’t want to walk in on her and her mom unexpectedly, knowing Pamela had planned to have a serious talk this morning.

“Good morning, ladies.” Kristoffer stepped onto the patio, Arlo enjoying a prolonged top-of-the-head rub at his side. She’d never envied a dog so much in her life.

Pamela smiled at him, but his initial happy expression was soon replaced by one of concern. Not wanting to explain why she must look as though she’d been crying, she kept the moment light. “Enjoy your walk?”

“Immensely.” He seemed more relaxed.

Had he come to terms with something out there? Would he share it with her? “I’d better get back to work in the kitchen if we’re going to make a dent in all this food before we leave.”

He fell into step behind her, as she’d expected, but when she would have turned toward the counter in the galley kitchen, he took her arm and gently led her to the living room. Arlo took his spot on the couch, yawned, and returned to his morning nap.

Kristoffer turned her to face him, cupped her chin, and tilted her head back to meet his gaze. “You okay, Sprite?”

“I’m fine. I’m glad you had a good walk.” She wanted to ask the question on the tip of her tongue—
Did you figure out anything about us out there?
—but wouldn’t. He’d tell her when he was ready.

“You’ve been crying. How’d it go with your mom?” He stroked her cheekbones as though erasing her tear tracks.

She smiled, hoping to reassure him. “I don’t have any more answers now than I did before—although apparently Mom wasn’t a kick-ass spy as I’d fantasized in my teen years.” She grinned with a shrug, hoping to convey she wasn’t upset about having no further answers. “But for the first time in my life, I am one hundred percent certain that it wasn’t anything
I
did or didn’t do that sent her running. Dad almost had me convinced of that, but there was always a niggling doubt.”

“That’s progress, at least. I know how much you’ve questioned yourself all this time.”

“How about you? Find any peace of mind during your walk?” She hadn’t meant to pry, but preferred to have the spotlight off her neuroses.

“Very much so. Beautiful beach. And I did manage to make one decision.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that, if I may ask?”

“You’ll find out tonight.” His answer left her frustrated and in high anticipation of whatever he planned to tell her—or better yet do to her.

She wrapped her arms around him and hugged. Kristoffer and Mom were two hurting people in her life that she couldn’t fix with a scalpel. If only she could place a few sutures and make everything better for them. But perhaps all three of them had made some kind of peace with the past today. Pamela had, for sure.

“I’m famished and will settle right now for food for the stomach.” He pulled away and framed her face. “I promise not to get maudlin on you again. I intend to enjoy the time I have left with you out here.”

She searched his eyes for whether that meant they would only have this time together, but no need to conjure up things he hadn’t said or meant. “I’ve never found you maudlin, so stop beating yourself up. There are going to be setbacks along the way. You’ve embarked on a new life, and that’s not easy for anyone to do.”

“Thanks, Sprite. You’re too good for me. How can I ever repay you?”

Accept me. Love me as much as I love you.

She smiled, not ready to admit she was falling in love with him, not even to herself. There were still so many obstacles in their path. “Help me in the kitchen.”

“You know I have no cooking skills, so don’t give me anything too important to screw up,” he said, laughing as he followed her.

In the kitchen, she pointed to the stove. “I’ll fix the scrambled eggs. You can fry up the rest of the bacon. I’d rather you get splattered than me.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

Kristoffer peeked out on the patio, apparently to make sure Mom wasn’t close by, then leaned down and whispered, “I didn’t hear you complaining when I was splattering you with hot wax.”

Her pulse quickened, and she caught her breath as the sensory memory of their wax play returned. “You, Sir, are a sadist to bring that up when there’s nothing we can do about it here.” Would they play again tonight? Is that what he’d decided out on the beach? She hoped so.

Twenty minutes later, the three sat down to breakfast on the patio. No one seemed to want to talk about anything too deep.
Thank you, baby Jesus!
She and her mom had come further in those fifteen minutes earlier this morning than they had in fifteen years. There was hope. And, if they were lucky, time to reveal all the secrets.

As for Kristoffer, he’d need time, too. She intended to enjoy the rest of their trip and keep things light, unless
he
needed to talk.

After putting the bedroom and bathroom back the way they’d found them, with clean towels and linens and making the bed, they hugged her mother goodbye with a promise to visit more often. This time, she might even follow through.

Moments later, she and Kristoffer drove out of Carmel-by-the-Sea, passed Mission Carmel, and headed south on the Cabrillo Highway. Kristoffer pulled off a couple of times at her request so she could take photos. The wind nearly whipped the phone out of her hands once—good thing she’d left the good camera in the car—but they managed a few selfies to prove they’d been here.

“I booked us into a hotel for tonight and tomorrow,” Kristoffer revealed. He went on to say he’d even scored premium seating for dinner overlooking the sea at sunset. While it must have set him back, as always, he refused to let her pay for anything. Perhaps when she was working for Children’s or whatever hospital would hire her, he would be more willing to let her pay for something.

Despite having so much up in the air, she experienced a sense of freedom and optimism that everything would turn out fine when they went home.

Arriving at Big Sur too early to check in, they decided to hike Julia Pfeiffer Burns State Park for a couple of hours. When they reached the overlook above McWay Falls, Kristoffer wrapped his arms around her from behind and held her against him as they watched the slim waterfall cascade onto the beach. He’d become much more demonstrative in the past few days. She loved it when he touched her, hugged her, held her out of the blue like this.

“Beautiful,” he whispered in her ear.

“Yes, it is.”

“The falls, too, but I’m talking about you.”

Her heart beat so rapidly she found it impossible to speak. But no words were necessary. They were finding their way. He continued to lower his defenses, as if the stars and planets aligned to clear a path for them now that they’d told the universe their intentions to continue on this journey together—not just to California, but into the future.

She could have stayed here in his arms forever, but all too soon, he pulled away with a kiss to the top of her head. “Why don’t we head back to the car? We ought to be able to register now. That’ll give us time to shower and maybe even take a swim in the infinity pool before dinner.”

Pamela nodded, even though she had no clue what an infinity pool was, and they walked the trail hand-in-hand back to the parking lot. The rich lived a very different lifestyle than she’d been accustomed to. But it sounded divine. As long as he didn’t intend to make her swim laps for infinity. With this morning’s breakfast, she’d sink like a rock.

They checked into the opulent hotel and located their private cabin overlooking the rock cliffs and ocean. All too soon, she found herself in the most amazing pool where the edge of the water met the sea and sky as if the three were one.

“It’s magical,” she said. “I feel as though we’re at the top of the world overlooking our own piece of paradise.”

Kristoffer stood behind her in the water, massaging her shoulders and neck, as she propped her arms on the edge and took in the panoramic view. His hands went underwater to grasp her sides, tugging her away from the edge and against him. The cool air chilled her rapidly, and her feet dangled in the water. She tried to tilt her head to the side to encourage him to kiss her only to have his teeth capture her earlobe instead.
Even better
. The direct hit on her erogenous zone made her clit throb for attention.

“Mmm.”

He pulled away. “Like that?”

“You know I do, Sir.”

“Would my sprite like to play after dinner?”

“Definitely.”

“I’d like you to scream for me when you come.”

She would get to come tonight! Her lower body tingled in anticipation. The thought of their neighbors hearing them occurred to her, but she didn’t care. She’d never see any of them ever again.

“Do we have to wait until after dinner, Sir?”

He pinched her butt cheek. “Who’s in charge, Sprite?”

Not wanting to jeopardize her imminent orgasm, she bowed her head. “You, my Lord.”

He placed a finger under her chin and forced her to make eye contact. “I won’t neglect my submissive’s needs, and you haven’t eaten since morning.”

His taking care of her made her feel good, but how could he ever neglect or disappoint her?

“Thank you, Sir.”

He released her sooner than she’d have liked, leaving her resting her forearms on the edge again. Despite the heated pool exceeding one hundred degrees, he left her body chilled after he’d ignited a fire in her only a moment ago.

“Time for your massage.”

The thought of him giving her a massage further excited her, but she soon found out he’d made an appointment for her at the spa. “Afterward, we’ll prepare for dinner. I understand we’re in for a treat—not only a gorgeous sunset, but a taste of Big Sur with some incredible wine pairings.”

“Sounds wonderful. I feel like a princess.” She smiled. Being spoiled by Kristoffer would never grow old.

The dress code was casual elegant according to the binder in the room. Thank goodness she’d packed a nice pair of slacks and a silk blouse for their trip down the coast.

In the bathroom, she quickly applied her make up with a light touch and put up her hair in a quick twist. When she came out, Kristoffer whistled as his gaze roamed her body from head to heels.

“Turn around.” The familiar fluttering in her womb as he commanded her to obey brought a smile to her face. When she did so, he placed a cold stone pendant around her neck.

She turned toward the mirror to see what it looked like. “It’s gorgeous!” The circular jade stone was strung on a thin piece of leather.

He came up behind her, wrapped his arms around her, and presented her with a small jewelry box as well. She opened it. “Matching earrings!” The stones in the studs were about a quarter-inch around. “You shouldn’t have gone to such an expense.”