ROAR (51 page)

“I wanted to give you something to remember our time here by.”

She shook her head. As if their time together here wouldn’t be etched on her mind forever.

He smiled. “It’s called Big Sur jade and comes right out of the ocean waters here. I thought the set might be a nice souvenir.”

“When did you have time to go shopping?”

“While you were having your massage this afternoon.”

Ah
. “Thank you for that, too, by the way. It was incredibly relaxing. I just might have fallen asleep.” She switched out her earrings for the new studs and turned to show them off.

His pupils dilated. “Now that’s what
I
call gorgeous. They bring out the green in your eyes.”

He bent to place a kiss on her cheek and loosened her hair, emitting a low growl that sizzled her nerve endings. Wrapping his arm around her, he tilted her head back by grasping her hair. Any thought of maintaining an elegant look went out the window, but she didn’t care. She felt his breath on her face a second before he lowered his lips to hers, demanding more.

Clasping him around the neck, she held on tight and reveled in his kiss. When he pulled away, she groaned in frustration. His inability to catch a deep breath told her he’d been affected as well. He grinned impishly as he reached up to remove the remaining pins that had held her updo in place.

“I prefer it loose.” He ran his fingers through it, tousling it. “Yes. Much better. I love the way your hair looks when you first tumble out of bed.”

That might be a little too casual for the restaurant, but if that’s what he wanted… “As you wish, Sir.”

He placed a trail of kisses along the column of her neck, sending shivers coursing down her body. As abruptly as his sensual assault had begun, it ended. “Ready for dinner?”

“I think I’m more ready for us to go to bed.” He smacked her butt. “Promises like that aren’t helping to change anything,” she teased.

“I don’t think I’ll forgot how much you love to be spanked.”

She grinned, completely reluctant to leave the room now. “Trust me, Sir, my butt is available anytime you have a need.” She winked.

He lightly bopped her nose. “Keep that up, brat, and I’ll have you waking up the sleepy hamlet of Big Sur begging me to let you come—and not allowing you to do so.”

“You wouldn’t.” As he’d pointed out, she did have a bratty personality. Might as well own it.

“Don’t test me, Sprite.” His Dom stare unleashed butterflies in her belly.

“I don’t think I shall, Sir.”

“Good girl. Perhaps if you promise not to bring security to the room with your screams, you might receive what your inner brat deserves—and is begging for.”

His words left her cheeks overheated. They hadn’t had a scene since Sunday night.

She enjoyed this playful, spontaneous Kristoffer and hoped he wouldn’t retreat on her again.

At the moment, however, they had hard-to-obtain dinner reservations to keep.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t run a brush through my hair so I won’t have everyone speculating as to how we’ve spent our afternoon?”

He shook his head, an even more primal stare capturing her in a web of desire. “I want every man in that restaurant to know you’re with me and that they can’t have you.”

He’d marked his territory both with his gaze and her sexy hair. She reached for her emerald green devoré shawl, only now realizing how appropriate it was that she’d packed it. The color was perfect for the jade necklace and earrings.

Feeling anything but cold at the moment, she handed him her wrap. Smiling, he placed it around her shoulders, his warm hands giving them a squeeze.

Hardly ten minutes passed before they were in the restaurant and seated near a window overlooking the sea outside the resort’s gourmet restaurant. A symphony of new and enticing aromas permeated her senses. She immersed herself in the experience of trying course after course from an apple-watercress salad to an entree of flounder.

An hour and a half later, as they awaited the dessert, she and Kristoffer reminisced about their trip so far. When the chocolate ganache cake was served, all other thoughts left her mind. She smiled as he fed her a bite of the mouthwatering delight. There would be a fourth course as well, but she couldn’t imagine stuffing another bite into her mouth. That is, until the server brought them the Charlie Cashio Bixby Bloom. The small dish of brie on acorn bread provided the perfect ending to one of the most memorable meals she’d eaten in her thirty-eight years. She’d have to see if her local baker would try baking this incredible-tasting bread.

“I can almost see the wheels turning and imagine I’m in for a treat from your kitchen when we get home.”

She laughed. “I’m sure I won’t come close to recreating these dishes, but the chef has given me some wonderful ideas!”

“I can’t wait.”

But she could. She didn’t want the magic of this getaway to wrap up. When they returned to Denver, this all might come crashing down around them and put an end to this fantasy.

“What’s wrong?”

She forced a smile. “Nothing.”

“Sprite.” His stern tone reminded her she wasn’t supposed to keep anything from her Dom.

“I’m sorry. I was just thinking how much I wish we could stay here forever.”

“What have I tried to teach you about living in the moment?”

“I know. I should. I’ll stop worrying about the future if you will.”

He brushed his thumb over her cheek, and she closed her eyes as she melted against his hand. “I know it’s scary not knowing what awaits us, Pamela, but I’ve made a promise to you to be your Dom. I don’t renege on my promises.”

Pamela nodded, smiling. “Yes, Sir.”

He leaned toward her and whispered so that only she could hear. “Good, because I do believe I promised my sub a paddling for her bratty behavior.”

She grew wet hearing his words, and her breath hitched. “Ready when you are, my Lord.”

*     *     *

Kristoffer watched fiery streaks of light dance through her hair in the candlelight. Freckles he’d barely noticed back in Colorado had become more pronounced after this week’s exposure to the sun; they fit her personality. While Pamela presented the image of a competent, revered surgeon to the world, with him, she let her playful spirit shine. Not to mention her laugh, which never failed to make him smile and lift his mood.

He’d have to make sure she spent more time outdoors. The image of her restrained to a tree while he played with her flashed across his mind. Tori hadn’t been into playing outdoors. More new territory for them to cover. Finding new memories without ghosts lurking in the corners would be his objective moving forward.

He’d planned a scene for tonight that, with a few adjustments, could let them begin to explore a bit outdoors.

Pamela’s eyes radiated happiness. He wanted to keep that spark there always. His time spent on the beach this morning hadn’t given him any answers concerning Tori, but he’d come to realize that being away from Pamela even for that short time felt as though a piece of him was missing. She’d taken up residence in his heart, and he was more determined than ever to find a way to make her a permanent part of his life. Commitment. He wouldn’t dishonor his vows to Tori, but his heart could love both women. Rather than feeling split in two, he actually felt his heart and soul mending for the first time since he’d lost Tori.

Damned if he would feel guilty, either. He’d been a good husband to Tori. Never cheated on her. Stayed by her side every single day of their marriage, well, until these past few days in California. Bottom line, he still loved Tori, and their marriage would last until she breathed her last.

For all intents and purposes, though, her life had ended on that highway four years ago. But
he
wasn’t close to dead yet and refused to continue to live like he was.

No more incessant worrying about right or wrong. His moral compass wasn’t broken, but his world had tilted on its axis four years ago. He was finally finding his bearings based on a new magnetic north—and the needle pointed directly to the woman sitting across the table from him.

“You’re thinking awfully hard. Should I be worried about tonight?” she asked.

He smiled. “I like keeping you off guard, but I was simply thinking what an amazing person you are and how grateful I am to have you in my life.”

Her eyes opened wider in surprise before she laughed with embarrassment. The blush he loved crept into her cheeks. “And here I thought you were planning all manner of delicious torture for me when we get back to the room.”

His cock surged to life. “That, too. But I’m trying to be a little more serious now. Your cooperation would be appreciated, Sprite.”

Feigning innocence, she asked, “What’s not serious about a well-executed play scene?”

He stared at her until the smile left her face. “Better.” Why was she deflecting the seriousness in the conversation? Maybe because he hadn’t said anything to her about his revelation on the beach. Of course, she might not be ready for yet another cosmic shift in his thinking.

Hell, man, you might not be, either.

“Pamela, we have only two more full days here before heading back to Denver. I know we’ve spent a lot of time talking about what we want and need in a Dom/sub relationship. And that we agreed to wait and see how my reentry into real life goes before taking plans for our relationship any further.”

She reached across the table for his hand. “We have all the time in the world. No need to rush into anything.”

“But I realized something out on that beach today. My life is empty without you in it.”

Her eyes opened wide, and she smiled. “I feel the same about you.”

“I may be confronted by powerful emotions when we get home—in fact, I’m sure I will be. But I don’t want to face them alone. Before we leave here, I want us to at least determine a plan to move toward laying the foundation for something that could last a lifetime—not only an emotional bond, but physical and intimate ones as well.” He squeezed her hand.

“That was one productive walk!”

He glared at her, and she reined in her brat and became serious again. “Sorry, but I’m afraid to get my hopes up too high. It makes me nervous.”

His whole reason for having this conversation was so that he could reassure her. He wasn’t going to lose her because of his indecisiveness. Okay, perhaps his insecurities were getting the best of him now, but someone as beautiful, desirable, and independent as Pamela wouldn’t put up with that shit forever. He needed her to know how important she was to him and that he was willing to make a commitment to her, as soon as he figured out what type of one would be worthy of her. “I never want you feeling as though I’m taking your needs for granted.”

“I never ha—” He cut off her words with his fingers pressed to her lips.

“I know, but please hear me out. Pamela, I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know that I want you to be a part of mine. I’m going to find a way to make this work—whatever
this
is.” He stared intently at her. “I’d never do anything to harm you or take advantage of your trust in me.”

Her half-smile told him she was cautiously optimistic. “I wouldn’t expect you to. You’ve shown you’re a man of your word.”

“The
only
thing I’m certain about anymore is that I want something more with you, starting tonight.” Had someone turned the heat up in here? He loosened the top button of his shirt under his tie. “Pamela, you’ve become an indispensable part of my life in the past two months. I can’t offer you all that you deserve. And we both know marriage isn’t an option, but dating is. Perhaps what we’re working toward is a relationship that’s
like
a marriage, just without government or church documents binding us together.” Once again, he’d relegated a discussion about their future together into negotiating the terms of a business acquisition.

Smooth, man. Bloody smooth.

Before he could rephrase his poorly chosen words, she spoke. “I’ve told you before that I don’t view a marriage certificate as the be-all and end-all of long-term relationships and happy endings. Half end with one or both parties breaking their vows. There’s no more guarantee of someone staying together if married than if they choose to live together, agreeing to their own vows. Besides, I’m not any more religious than you are, so I have no ethical or moral need to be wed in a church.”

She leaned closer and whispered, “But like you, if I commit myself to someone for life, it
will
mean for life. So if you’re wondering if I’m open to an unconventional relationship with you, I think I’ve already proven that I am.”

As if a two-ton anchor had been lifted off his chest, he relaxed and smiled. “Just what I needed to hear before I…” He started to say
propose
, but ended with, “…take this to the next step.” He reached for the check. After charging it to their room, he stood and placed her shawl over her shoulders again before taking her hand and leading her from the table.

His hand wrapped around her back then lowered to rest on the swell of her ass—as though marking his territory for every man in the restaurant to see.

Mine.

She didn’t envy him the job of finding a way to make it so.

*     *     *

Pamela wasn’t sure what metamorphosis had occurred over dinner or why, but she sensed Kristoffer coming to some sort of peace and contentment about moving forward with their relationship. For the first time since realizing she was falling for him in a big way, she had hope that they would be able to carve out a life for themselves.

But tonight, he had planned a scene for them so she prepared herself mentally.

Roar closed the door. “Go into the bathroom and remove your clothing. Shower if you wish. I’m going to do a little setup, so please wait there until I come for you.”

She grinned as she removed her jewelry and shawl, placing them on the dresser. Slipping out of her shoes, she made her way into the bathroom.

Anticipation ran high. He’d hinted at something different tonight, not to mention that she’d been dying for another scene since leaving Sonoma. Wanting to be as fresh as possible, and hoping to relax her a little, she hopped into the shower but used a shower cap to keep her hair dry. No sense spending a lot of time with a dryer. She wanted to be ready when he opened that door.