Role of a Lifetime (11 page)

Chapter 26

"Mom?"

"I'm out here honey," Holly called from the patio.

Lia pushed open the screen door and came out onto the patio.  She slumped down into the seat across from Holly.

"What do you want to do today?" Holly said, "Movie maybe?"

A movie sounded like a great idea actually.  Just disappear into another world for a couple of hours.  She looked at Lia who was staring despondently at her phone.

"What do you say?" Holly asked Lia.  She had just convinced herself that a movie was a great idea, now she was determined to convince Lia as well.  It would help, Holly was sure of it, if Lia could just give herself permission to stop feeling miserable for a couple of hours, that is.

"Look up what's playing," Holly said, gesturing to the phone in Lia's hand.  "Ummm, please."

"Fine," Lia said, with a tone that under ordinary circumstances would have required some parental correction, but Holly didn't bother.  These weren't ordinary circumstances so Holly just waited.  "Son of Cronos, 1:00, hey," Lia stopped and looked at Holly.

"Well I just saw that," Holly said, "Next."

"Mom!"

"What?"

"How was it?"

"Better than I expected actually, not really my kind of movie, but it was very good."

"Mom!  Details!"

"Oh, well, it was very entertaining but at the same time really touching, the way the...family dynamic was portrayed,"

"Mom!"

"What?"

"Not about the movie, about your...date.  Details about your date."

"Eh, Lia, no," Holly said, shaking her head.

What was she going to tell her daughter, that she had just had sex for the first time since, no.  Ugh no. Not doing it, not going there.

"Well are you guys dating or what?"

"Ummm, I mean, he lives on the west coast, we can't really date, can we."

"So what, friends with benefits?"

"What?"

"Friends with benefits, it means"

"I know what it means, Lia," Holly interrupted quickly, "and no, not that, definitely not that, I mean, that's just not right, for anyone," Holly said, even as she realized she wasn't entitled to make that judgment for the whole world but hell, she couldn't help the way she felt about it.  "I just don't believe in that, just no," Lia was watching Holly carefully, too carefully, Holly thought, so she decided better elaborate, "Have more respect for yourself than that, if a guy doesn't want to be with you, then he doesn't get to be with you, like that, that is.  Period."

"Yeah, I don't think so either," Lia said finally and Holly sighed in relief, then immediately hoped Lia hadn't noticed.  Lia continued, "Some of my friends, well, never mind."

Lia stopped and looked as though she thought she may have said too much. Holly wondered which friends Lia was referring to, but she didn't ask Lia to clarify.   Did Lia mean the girls (or boys?) she had grown up with, some of whom Holly had known since they were in preschool?  The ones whose moms were some of her best friends?  Or the new friends, the college friends, the ones Holly really didn't know at all.  Holly had friended Lia on Facebook but Lia never used Facebook anymore.

Lia was all about Instagram and, per the family rule, the account was private.  Holly had debated opening her own Instagram account, but she well remembered the battle she and Lia had had when Holly had insisted that Lia friend her on Facebook.  Holly wasn't sure she wanted to go through that again.  She also wasn't sure forcing her (legally adult) daughter, to allow her mom to follow her was the right thing to do.  There were a lot of things Holly wasn't sure about these days.

"So movie?" Holly said, to break the silence.

Maybe she'd figure out something a little wiser to say on the drive back to Lia's school.  In the car she could keep her eyes on the road and not have to look at Lia.  And Lia wouldn't be able to scream "I don't want to talk about this," and storm off, as the kid had done numerous times during adolescence.  Well she could scream, but she couldn't storm off, not in a moving car, anyway.

Holly was so busy wondering if her daughter would rather jump out of a vehicle at highway speed than talk to her mom about sex (SO GROSS!), that she was confused for a second when Lia spoke.  Holly agreed to the movie Lia suggested without even hearing the title.

"I guess I should take a shower," Lia said.

"Well, we have time, you want something to eat?"

"I want to hear about your date with Kelly Rockport."

"It wasn't," Holly stopped, unable to say it wasn't a date, when it clearly was.  But now it was over.  It had to be over.  She couldn't go back to California.  She had to stay home, in case Lia needed her again, for anything.  She couldn't let her daughter down, ever, she had sworn to herself she would always be there if Lia needed her.  Holly concentrated on the conversation at hand. "It was fun," she said, "I mean the party was amazing."

They grabbed some bagels and cream cheese from the kitchen for breakfast and took them back outside.  It was the time of year when the temperature could swing wildly from morning to afternoon, thirty degrees or more, and now the patio was in full sun and heating up.  Holly went back in to grab her sunglasses and, upon seeing it, grabbed her phone as well.  She waited until Lia got up to go in and shower before looking at it.

The only text was from Marie asking if Holly wanted to do lunch sometime this week.  Nothing new from Kelly.  He had texted once and called a bunch of times yesterday.  He had left a voicemail and after she had listened to it she had texted him that she had gone home.  He hadn’t responded.  Holly hadn’t listened to Lia’s voicemails yet.  She intended to save that until Lia was back at school.  Holly didn't want to get upset while Lia was around, that would be counterproductive.  She tapped on her phone and dialed Kelly's number, having absolutely no idea of what she was going to say.

"Hello," he said gruffly.

She could tell he was mad and she said what came naturally.

"I'm sorry."

Chapter 27

"What?" Kelly had answered the call from Holly, torn between excitement and irritation.

He hadn't texted her back when he had gotten the message, the night before, when he was sitting Mabel's deck.  He had left her a very reasonable explanation as to why he had left Saturday morning.  She had given him absolutely no explanation as to why she had flown home without a word.  When the first words out of her mouth were, "I'm sorry", Kelly was confused.  Why the hell had she just taken off unless she had wanted to?

"I'm sorry, I had to come home, Lia," Holly paused.

"What? What happened to Lia?" Kelly said, concerned.  Man he was an asshole.  He hadn't even considered that something might have happened to her kid, "Is she okay?"

"Yes, well, not exactly," Holly said, then she lowered her voice, "Dylan broke up with her."

"Oh," Kelly said.

Probably a good thing, he thought to himself.  Dylan had seemed like an egotistical little douche during the five minutes Kelly had spent with him.

"I know it seems stupid," Holly said, "but she left me like ten messages when we were out at the premiere and I didn't even check my phone when we got back to the room."

"It's okay," Kelly said, "I understand."

"You do?"

"Yes, I didn't know why you left.  I kind of thought maybe cause you didn't want to go surfing or something. I mean I just didn't get it.  I wish you had called me."

He didn't say that it had been an amazing night and he had been wishing she would stay in California longer.  Really wishing.

"Oh, I was an idiot and I packed the cord in my luggage and checked it, I couldn't charge the phone on the plane."

"So you did want to go surfing?"

"Ummm."

"I'm joking, you don't have to if you don't want to, okay, I won't make you."  She didn't say anything, and Kelly rushed to fill the silence, "How's Lia doing now?"

"Well, you know, she's eighteen, Dylan was her world, I think this is good, really good actually, I brought her home last night but she'll go back to school tonight or tomorrow morning.  Once she gets back in the swing of things I'm hoping it won't seem so bad.  We're going to see a movie later, take her mind off things for a bit hopefully."

"What are you going to see?"

"She picked something, I don't even remember what it was."

"What?  This is the big opening weekend for "Son of Cronos"."

"Yeah, but, I just saw that."

"Oh my god, really?  I get a percentage of the box office, you know."

"I thought you had enough money."

"I do," Kelly said, and just like that it was okay again.

Well it was, except he missed her.  Really missed her.  And he wasn't sure he was going to be able to fly east while he were filming "Mistakes".  He knew Holly well enough to know she was going to want to stick around home until she was sure Lia was okay.  So he'd have to wait.  They'd figure it out.  They talked until Holly said she had to go to get dressed take Lia to the movie.  He almost asked her what she was wearing but then figured it was pointless to try to get her worked up over the phone while Lia was right there.

"Okay then bye, and Holly?"

"What?"

"Nothing, just, I miss you that's all.  It was great having you out here."

In more ways than one he thought and shifted in his chair trying to get comfortable.  God the next six to eight weeks were going to be tough, now that he knew exactly what he was missing.  Hopefully six weeks and not eight.

"I miss you too Kelly."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Kelly hung up and spent a minute remembering their night together but when he realized all he was doing was frustrating himself more, he stopped and got up.  He dialed Mabel's number and told himself to focus on the read through tomorrow.  He asked Mabel if she was available to rehearse with him later, after he got back from the gym.  He didn't have to go over the top with the acting for the very first read through but the more familiar he was with the script the better.

"Sure, you want to do it here?" she asked him.

"No, at my house," Kelly said, "I have the camera here."

It was true, but really it was what Kelly didn't have at his house, namely the boxes of wine.

Chapter 28

"How 'bout some veggies?" Holly asked.

They were at the supermarket.  They had seen the movie, Holly watching Lia as much as the movie and relieved to see her smiling and laughing.  There would be more tears over the next month, Holly was sure of that, but Holly hoped Lia would remember that it was possible to laugh, and even be happy, post Dylan.

"Veggies?" Lia replied with a slight shriek to her voice that would have been appropriate if Holly had been offering her cyanide.

"Oh, I'm getting them," Holly said, "I'll munch on them on the ride home after I drop you off."

She talked Lia into getting some fruit and Lia talked Holly into buying her an enormous tray of cookies.

"That's a lot of cookies," Holly said as they headed out of the bakery section, which was adjacent to the produce for who knows what reason.

"I'll share them," Lia said.

They made their way up and down the aisles of the supermarket, then headed back out to the car.  Lia had decided before the movie to go back to school Sunday night rather than wait until Monday morning.  Holly had been pleased that Lia was feeling so much better but then Lia had added, "Cause I don't want to get up at, like, 6AM on Monday".  They had gone out for dinner after the movie.  After that Lia had asked if it would be okay to stop at the market on the way back to her dorm.  Holly was more than happy to stop and delay leaving Lia at the dorm for as long as possible.

They got the groceries loaded up and Holly headed towards the highway, Lia punching the buttons on the car radio and not finding anything to her liking.

"Can I just play something on my phone?" she asked just as Holly's phone chimed with a text.  "Oh, I'll get it," Lia said, pawing through Holly's purse, "Oooh, guess who it is?"

"Lia," Holly said with her warning voice.

"Yup, Kelly Rockport, can I read it?"

"No," Holly said, but she wanted to know what it said, just as much as Lia, more probably.

"You have a boyfriend huh, Mom," Lia said, "Wow, my mom has a boyfriend and I don't.  Great."

"Okay, you've not had a boyfriend for what, forty-eight hours now?  Let's not get all dramatic about it, okay.  Besides," Holly paused, sure of what she wanted to say but unsure of how to say it, "Having a boyfriend shouldn't be the be all and end all of your existence.  If it's right, it's nice, it's a good thing.  But if it's not, not right that is, being alone is better, I think."

"Yeah," Lia said, "It's only been two days.  You haven't had a boyfriend in what?"  Lia paused, doing the math, which Holly knew automatically, without having to think about it.  Holly didn't say anything.  "Mom?"

"What?"

"Was it because of Dad?  That you never dated I mean.  I mean you NEVER dated."

Holly gripped the wheel tightly but it didn't help.

"Yes," she said simply.

There was no other answer.  Besides it was true.  Just not for the reason Lia was assuming.

"Well, I think he'd want you to be happy," Lia said and the quivering inside Holly rose up a notch.  "Besides, if you had to wait this long to meet Kelly Rockport, I mean it's worth it, right?  I mean he's rich and so hot."

"Oh god Lia, don't talk like that," Holly said.

"Well he is Mom, I mean, everybody says so, they run that "Son of Cronos" commercial all the time and we all pause it and yell for everyone to come down and we frame by frame it till we get to that part where he's like almost naked in the bed on top of that mountain."

"Lia!"

It was too much, Lia and her college friends lusting after the guy, no, man, forty something year old man, that Holly was sleeping with, er, had slept with.  Sleeping with.  Was she going to sleep with him again?  Oh hell.

"What?" Lia asked, "Mom, what?"

"So, what classes do you have on Monday?"

"Umm, why?"

"Why?  This education is costing me a fortune that's why."

"But I sent you my schedule," Lia said and Holly looked away from the road for a second to glare at her a little, "Okay fine, Intro to Economics, which is so freaking boring by the way."

They killed a good half hour with Holly asking Lia about her classes and Lia complaining about them.

"So when are you going to see Kelly again Mom?"

"What?"

"Kelly, when are you going to see him again?"

"I don't know," Holly said.  She didn't and she didn't want to think about it.  She wanted to see him again.  Very much.  To avoid thinking about how it was not going to work out, which it wasn't, she just told Lia, "He's starting on a new movie tomorrow, they have the first run through."

"What's that?"

The rest of the trip they spent talking about the little that Holly had learned about the movie business.  There was no spots near Lia's dorm and Holly ended up pulling up to the door and parking next to the hydrant.

"I can't leave it here," she said as they pulled Lia's overnight bag and the groceries out of the back.

"It's fine Mom, I got it."

Lia had her bag and purse over her shoulder and a bag of groceries in one arm.  Holly hugged her and gave her the second grocery bag.

"You sure you're okay?" Holly said.

"I'm fine Mom, you worry too much, see you, bye."

Holly walked her to the door, Lia managed to align her purse with the security scanner and the door clicked open.  Holly opened the door for her.

"Okay Mom, you better go, if security sees you next to the hydrant..."

Lia turned and walked away.  Holly reluctantly went back to the car.  She got the container with the cut up carrots and peppers out of the back and set them on the seat next to her.  She checked the text from Kelly, it said he was doing a read through with his neighbor and would call her when they were done, unless it was too late on the East coast.  She set her phone in the cup holder where she could see it, and turn it on speaker, if he called while she was driving home.

She was about to put the car in drive when it happened.  Someone started banging on the driver's window.

"What?" she said, startled.

"Open the window," the guy yelled at her.

"I,"

"Open the window."

There was enough light to see the guy's uniform.  Campus security.  Holly rolled down the window and he shined a flashlight in her face.

"What are you doing? You can't park here, there's a hydrant."

"I'm not,"

"You cannot park here."

"I know I was just,"

"There's a hydrant."

It was useless.  On some level Holly knew the guard was over-reacting, to put it mildly.  But it didn't matter.  Her reaction was out of her control.  She couldn't say anything.  Frustrated at her silence, the guy leaned in even closer.

"Hey!  Are you stupid or something?"

She burst into tears, "I'm sorry, I'm leaving, okay, I'm leaving," she blubbered out.

"Hey," he said, but she didn't hear the rest of what he said when she pulled away from him.

The highway was twenty minutes away but it felt like longer.  She probably missed every light.  She started munching on the cut up vegetables on the way home.  She ate mechanically, not tasting anything, vaguely noting that it was probably good that she hadn't given Lia the produce and kept the cookie box by mistake.

A couple of times she looked down at her phone, wishing Kelly would call.  Then she would think about how impossible it would be to have a relationship with him anyway.  Then she would think about Lia and her relationship and what if the next guy was actually worse than Dylan.

She made good time on the highway but it was still almost eleven when she got home.  She double checked that the rabbits had food and water when she got into the house, then she changed and went out to the barn.  It was well after daybreak when she went back to the house and checked her phone.  There was one text from Kelly saying he was sorry he hadn't called but it had gotten late and he didn't want to risk waking her up.  He needn't of worried.  She hadn't slept at all.