Romance: The Second Chance - Contemporary Romance (Romance, Contemporary Romance, Suspense Romance Book 1) (3 page)

             
Could he really like me? No, of course not. Not me. Not if he knew.

             
Abby barely heard a thing Molly said for the rest of the afternoon, going over her interactions with Eli again and again in her head.

              By the time Molly had walked her back to Melody's, Abby didn't want to do anything but sleep. She dragged herself straight to her bedroom, which Melody had set up perfectly while she was gone, and fell dully onto the bed. Drifting off to sleep, thinking….

             
If he only knew....

             
T
here were birds singing outside Eli’s window. The sun had already risen and sat full and glowing above the fence line.
Join us
, the birds called, but for the time being Eli refused. This wasn’t the first time the birds had woken Eli up, and if it wasn't the birds then it was something else. He’d never had a use for alarm clocks, hating being violently woken up, but also because he would much rather be awake than asleep. The night brought terrors with it. And since trips to the bar usually did more harm than good, he’d finally decided to give up trying to rid himself of the memories and accepted them.

              Sometimes, on bad nights, he would find himself gasping for air. As if the terror inside could manifest itself into a noose around his neck. He woke crazed, wrapped in his sheets, soaked in sweat from head to toe. Often it took hours to calm down, and he could never fall back asleep. Those were the bad nights.

              Other days, like today, he woke to the birds singing, and the glorious sun streaming through the blinds. He preferred it this way. No rushing. No stress. Just a sense of calm and pure serenity.

              Eli sat up, massaging the skin around his eyes. His fingers trailed down his jaw line, continuing down his neck until they reached the rough edges of the scar he wore like a cheap necklace, one he had to wear forever.

              He’d lived life so passionately, once, and so blissfully ignorant to how awful the world could be. To how something you loved so dearly could be ripped from your arms without warning or explanation. Leaving you to wonder if you could ever
feel
again.

              Off to his left lay the medal the mayor had given him two years ago:
ELIJAH WAITERS –
HERO, coated in gold.

              Eli didn't care for it. Nor did he care for those who asked him about it. He wasn't. He was a coward, and hated how these lies haunted him. He didn't go looking for them but they found him anyway, and now they were stuck, papered over by other words like
hero
and
brave
and the gold leaf on the medal with his name on it. Scratching and clawing to find a way out. He couldn’t let them, though. The cost would be too severe.

              Beyond that he had only a few posters. Some classical, some of nice cars, and one of Michael Jordan in mid flight from the free throw line. On the other side of the room sat his dresser, and on his dresser sat a single picture. A woman. His wife, Hannah. It had been nearly three years since she’d passed but some days he still struggled to believe she was really gone. They had been so happy together. So perfect. So in love. He’d imagined his whole life in front him, spending every waking moment with his best friend. His soul mate, and now that dream was gone forever.

              It was like trying to put a huge jigsaw puzzle back together, only to find he was missing a few pieces. They might not have seemed like much in the grand scheme of things, but they kept his life from ever feeling truly finished. It lacked just enough to satisfy, leaving him frustrated and angry, even though he’d given up trying to find those pieces a long time ago.

              Besides the dresser, posters, and medal, there wasn't much else in Eli's room. It was simple, quiet, and neat. Just the way he liked it. These days he needed order, not more turmoil, and his room was a perfect place to give himself that comfort. Everything in its place; everything for its purpose. Nothing left to chance.

              Usually he'd already be up and about, dressing, combing his hair, having breakfast. Granola with a little milk, the same thing every day, eaten fast enough not to have to taste it. Hannah had used try to get him to eat it, for his health, and since she died it had become one of his favorite meals. Then he'd be off to Splash to open up. But today was Tuesday, and was usually the slowest day of the week. The regulars would show up, sure. But Kirsten could handle them on her own. She’d been wanting more hours anyway, and Eli thought he'd try easing her in to see if she could handle the place by herself for a few hours. He’d take Rudy for a walk in the morning, maybe to the beach, and then once lunch time rolled around he’d head in to help with the grill and fryers, since they could get a line during lunch even a slow day. Kirsten was driven, but got distracted easily. Eli had been more than aware of this when she approached him looking for a job right out of high school, since she’d constantly interrupted the conversation to point out the most random of things. A wave crashing in the sea, or a bird flying overhead. She meant well though, and was fantastic with the customers. Her upbeat personality was a real hit with the locals, even if it meant waiting in line a little longer while she chatted with the people in front of them.

              Ricky, on the other hand, was Eli's
ace.
He had been there from the very beginning, four years ago, back when Hannah and Eli moved to Treasure Bay, and decided to flip the run-down old café. In fact, he’d been an instrumental part in resurrecting the place. His heavy Mexican accent and quick wit always brightened up Eli's day, and he was about the only one who’d truly been there for Eli when Hannah passed. It was Ricky who’d waited for hours and hours with Eli in the hospital while the doctors did their tests. And it was he who Eli had collapsed into when he finally got the news. He’d been so dazed he’d only picked out a few words, but they were enough.

              B
rain cancer... inoperable... three weeks....

              He hadn’t slept much at all, those last weeks. Their last moments together. Even when Hannah slept, he was awake. He needed to fight for her when she was too weak to fight herself, but he felt so helpless, so out of control. So completely useless.

              They’d thought they would live their entire lives together. He used to imagine them sitting on their porch as they grew old. Holding hands. Watching endlessly as the glossy waves rose and fell on the welcoming shore. He wished time could stand still, and he could stay in that moment forever. But he couldn't. It was gone.
She
was gone.

              Eli never thought he could love so passionately ever again. It was why he’d refused so many dates, why he’d been cold, even rude, to so many girls. He was trying to protect himself. His heart could only take so much, and he knew they could never offer him what Hannah had. It would be better for everyone if they left him alone.

              But all that had just changed. Seeing that girl with Molly yesterday had ignited something inside him.

             
Abby.

             
He couldn't get the name out of his head, and last night, had reluctantly admitted to himself he would be excited to see her again.

              But was that okay? Was he allowed the move on, to
feel
again? The scars were still fresh, and he was terrified of opening those wounds again. This time, the pain would kill him.

              And yet, there was something about her. Something different than all other girls he'd seen here before. Something only one other woman he’d known had possessed. Hannah.

             
No—you've only seen this girl once. Don't disrespect Hannah like that. What she had was special, was one-of-a-kind!

             
The harshness of his thoughts caught even him off guard. Where had that come from? He’d been thinking long enough. He needed to move around before he drove himself crazy.

              Eli's walked into the bathroom, and turned the shower on as hot as it could go. If he couldn't think his problems away, maybe he could melt them. He stripped, the stepped inside and put his head under the water. Hot steam engulfed him. He focused on his breathing, and attempted to clear his mind.

              He closed his eyes, removing himself from his surroundings. Just
existing
,
without worry or purpose. Systematically eliminating thought after thought, until only one remained. A name.

             
Abby.

             
The air conditioning was busted again. It was warm out, even for late October, and beads of sweat collected at Abby’s hairline, running slowly down her forehead before they were swiftly wiped away by a cloth she kept next to her. She didn't want any sweat in the dinner she was preparing, especially not as she chopped up the last of the vegetables. Abby didn't complain, though. Given the choice, she would rather be hot than cold.

              Tucker had been meaning to fix the unit for weeks, but hadn’t gotten around to it yet. Abby had brought it up once before, but he didn't like to be nagged—and she wasn't going to make that mistake again.

              A slower pace was a part of life here, though. It was both good and bad. Abby had never dreamed she would live in Texas one day, engulfed by the heat and stranded in the middle of a sea of dirt. Barren land as far as the eye could see.

              She liked the ocean. Liked the mountains. She liked to explore and hike and experience the beauty of nature first hand. But that was impossible here. There were no adventures to be had in a desert.

             
It's all worth it
,
she told herself. But it was quickly losing its appeal.

              Still, Texas was better than New York, with her parents. Abby had never gotten along with them
well
, and their relationship had grown particularly bumpy when she told them she was moving closer to Tucker in Texas. Her parents didn’t like her boyfriend, even

              In fact, looking back, it was probably just as important that she prove her parents wrong than it was to prove herself right. She didn't like them making choices for her, and it drove her away.

              Tucker wasn't perfect, but neither were they—at least he listened to what she said, and was there
for her when she needed him. Her parents had missed important events in her life, because of business, like when she got that lead role in the church play. But Tucker had been there, in the front row, cheering loudly.

             
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

             
The oven notified Abby, aggressively, that her casserole was ready. But she’d forgotten to set the timer for her first test round the day before, and that one had burnt to a crisp in the oven’s fiery heart. She fumbled for a glove, a harsh blast of heat welcoming her as she peeked inside.

             
Perfect.

             
A
bby woke up in shambles. She hadn't even pulled up the covers the night before, and now her back ached, and she felt an icy chill throughout her body. She wanted nothing more than to lie back down—under the covers, this time—and pretend yesterday, or her whole life, had never happened. It would be so much easier.

              And she almost did—but then she thought of Melody.

             
Melody
.

             
She’d been so wrapped up in her thoughts she’d completely forgotten their engagement. Guilt pooled in her stomach. Not only had she all but run out of the house ten minutes after getting there, she’d also stood her grandmother up for tea. Even worse was the fact that Melody had set up her room so nicely while she was out. Probably too excited to wait for Abby to come back.

              Her stomach knotted...

              Abby hauled herself out of bed and down the old wooden steps, but Melody already up and already working on breakfast.

              The entire house warmed with the smell of eggs, perfectly crisped bacon, and toast. It was overwhelming in the best sense of the word.

              Melody turned when Abby came into the kitchen. “Looks who's up,” she said. “I thought I was going to have to call the coroner to come and haul away your body.”

              Melody's humor lifted Abby's spirits. But only for a moment. “I'm
so
sorry Grandma. It's just, I ran into Molly, and we went to eat and ended up talking and talking, and... I’m sorry, I guess I just lost track of time.”

              Melody's face straightened, and she walked over and took Abby into her arms. “You never have to apologize to me, sweetheart. I'm just glad you had a good time.”

              When she pulled away, the smile Abby saw on her face was genuine; Melody wasn’t holding a grudge. The hug, too, made Abby feel better. Normally she didn't like physical touch to show affection—something that only got worse after the fire. After Tucker. But her grandma was different. She’d always this way of making Abby feel safe, in a way that no one else did. Especially her parents. It was this quality that initially drew Abby towards Melody, that made this house her favorite places on earth. Before long, the draw had become a habit, and something she hoped to do for the rest of her life.

              “Thanks Grandma,” she smiled. “Can I make that date up to you now?”

              Melody paused, then scrunched up her face as though making one of the most toughest decisions of her life. Then she let out a slow chuckle.

              “I'd love too.”

              She directed Abby toward the table, toward a plate of eggs and bacon and toast and—Abby smiled—a pot of freshly-brewed tea.

As they ate, they talked, but even with the tea it wasn’t entirely like the old days. There was a time Abby had told her grandmother everything, but sometimes you had to protect the ones you loved. Even if it meant truth became a casualty.

~*~

Abby really didn't want to leave again after breakfast, especially after being so rude the day before, but Melody insisted it was fine. Said it was almost time for her nap anyway.

              Melody had never used to take naps, even as she started getting older. Which made the fact that she needed them now slightly concerning. Abby swore she would convince Melody to go to the doctor’s soon, but until then, she had some things she needed to do.

              First up: Chuck’s Bait & Tackle shop. The man himself was a Treasure Bay legend, born and raised here and the one to go to if you wanted to have a good time—not in a bad way. Molly had said he was looking for extra help—and the meeting went wonderfully. Abby had sort of expected it—as a teenager she’d spent countless weekend nights babysitting his two boys, and knew that she’d already earned Chuck's trust. It was enough for a job. He was thrilled to see her after so many years, and the timing, he said, couldn't have been more perfect. Summer was fast approaching, and with it a horde of tourists just “itchin to bait some fish!” He gave her the job on the spot, and told her to come in first thing next morning. She would be preparing bait and cleaning off the kayak's he rented out back; not glamorous work, but any job was a blessing when she was running so low on cash.

              After that, she met up with Molly. She was so tired of feeling alone and isolated, and a familiar face was just what she needed. And even though Molly could be a chatterbox, she didn't have a negative bone in her body, and truly cared for Abby. And Abby trusted her. She hadn’t trusted anyone but her grandmother in a long, long time. And it was nice, too, just to wander along the coast, digging their feet in the sand, heading slowly toward the pier.

              It was a beautiful day, and it truly felt as though summer had come. The sky was clear, and the sun today was comforting instead of punishing, the sand much easier on her leg than the pavement had been the day before. She’d been anxious, at first, when Molly brought up the idea of heading toward the beach; all that exposed skin and vulnerability was something she didn't feel ready to face. Maybe something she'd never be ready for again. But it was a perfect day for the beach, and even if she had to stay covered up she could still try and enjoy herself.

              Even if plenty of others had made the same decision. As they approached, Abby saw the coast was sprinkled with people as far as the eye could see. Tourists, locals, families, couples, even a few street performers. Everyone was out. Everything was open.

              Abby hesitated, but before she could back off, say she’d changed her mind, Melody grabbed her hand and urged her forward.

              “Come on!”

              Abby didn't pull away, but she also didn't share in Melody's enthusiasm. . Panic. Her body devoured by

              She grasped her hip, as though everyone could see through her shorts to what lay literally burned into her skin beneath.

              Molly didn't stop, and soon Abby realized they were heading straight for the water, where her white blouse would be soaked through and reveal the past for everyone to see.

              Abby panicked, and In a moment, all the anxiety she’d soothed away during their walk flooded back in. Panic. Her body devoured by fear. Just feet from the shoreline, Abby tore her arm free and stopped dead in her tracks.

              Molly stopped a few steps later, by then already ankle deep in the Pacific. “What's wrong?”

              Abby opened her mouth, but what could she say? The truth? That she had a massive, disgusting scar spanning her entire left hip? That the only person she’d ever been in love with, one of the only people she’d ever fully trusted, betrayed her? That even the thought of people finding out caused her to break into hives? The truth? No, the truth was far too ugly... just as ugly as the awful evidence of her past burned into her skin, evidence she was now desperate to keep hidden.

              Anything but that.

              “Uhh... I'm sorry. It's just, I can’t do cold water.”

              Molly looked at her, eyebrows raised in suspicion. Abby tried to relax. She shrugged, as if to say, it is what it is
.

              “Alright... if you say so.” Molly said eventually, after a long, awkward silence.

              “It's fine, I just want to sit in the sun anyway.”

              Molly obviously wasn’t convinced, but she also didn’t hold onto things for very long. She simply shrugged her shoulders and ran out into the crashing waves. Enjoying herself in spite of Abby's weirdness.

              Abby retreated about a dozen yards, back to where the sand was still dry. She sat down, not caring if her shorts got dirty. Better dirty than wet. All around her, couples teased and played with each other, in the water and on the sand. It amazed Abby how happy they all looked. How free. How wanted.

              She used to be like them. Once she too was happy and in love. Thinking she had the world figured out, and that life would be smooth sailing from there on out. But she’d been wrong. So wrong. Her whole life had changed in an instant. The one she loved became the one she was afraid of, his face showing up in nightmares instead of dreams.

             
Tucker.

             
How could she have been so stupid? How could she not have seen the signs? As Tucker got into harder and more intense drugs, he became more violent, and less of the man she’d fallen in love with. But she couldn't let go, and it had ruined her. She touched her calf, then her hip.

             
Never again.

             
No matter how deep the passion, or how great the desire, she must never give in to another man. Never open up her heart so completely, or with such abandon. As much as she longed for intimacy, it simply wasn’t an option anymore; she’d had her chance and she’d ruined it—
he’d ruined
it. And she would never take a chance like that again.

              She let out a deep sigh, the breeze off the incoming tide blowing the hair out of her face. She thought about her past, and then her future. What could it have in store for her? But it was better just to focus on the moment. The moment right here
that she found herself in. Enjoying this gorgeous day, with someone who didn't try to pry and fix her life.