Romancing Snow White: A Prince Charmaine Story (4 page)

Hunter didn't care if Snow White ended up in a coma. For all he cared, she could stay in a coma forever! He just wanted to be close to her, to possess her. He just wanted to stare at her beautiful face all day, every day. She
would
be his!

Snow White made the mistake of leaving her window open, so it was easy enough to put the apple on the windowsill. As soon as the apple was in place, Hunter retreated to the bushes and waited. And waited. He knew she would be returning from her daily stroll, and it would only be a matter of time before she happened upon the apple.

Every minute was agonizing. He had waited for Snow White long enough! Four months of unspoken lust was enough to drive a man crazy! He knew he had to love her more than any man in the world could possibly love a woman. And now they were an apple away from happily ever after!

Suddenly, he saw movement near the cottage. Snow White and two of her dwarven companions were heading toward the house, and they appeared to be having some sort of argument.

“
Bones!” she shouted. “You can't keep treating me like this forever! I'm not a little girl anymore!”

“
But yer still not old enough to know better!” Bones shouted at her. “That man is a cad! I know his kind, and that's not the sort of guy I want my little girl to waste her time with! He'll break your heart without a second thought!”

“
No he won't!” Snow White snapped. “I trust Charmaine! I can see it in his eyes! He really DOES like me!”

“
He's leading you on.”

“
No he isn't!”

“
He's not the right guy for you!”

“
Isn't that for me to decide?!”

“
He's... he's...” Though he was ashamed to admit it, Bones had run out of arguments.

“
He's a PRINCE!” Snow White exclaimed. “I'd be stupid to turn him down! And he really, really likes me! I don't care what you think, Bones, because I know what's in my heart, and I know what's in Charmaine's heart. We're drawn to each other!”

“
I just...” Bones was crestfallen. He looked down at the ground and kicked a tiny pebble out of their path. “You're just growing up so fast, y'know?”

“
Is that what this is about? You just don't want to lose me?”

Bones crossed his arms. “N-no! I just... we don't... I don't want to see you make bad choices, girl!” Narcolept tugged on Bones' sleeve, which made his dwarven brother turn in his direction. “What is it, Narc?”

“
I think she's old enough make her own choices,” Narcolept offered a groggy opinion. He was rubbing his eyes to stay awake.

“
See?!” Snow White's eyes lit up. “Narcolept is on my side! He agrees with me!”

“
Now,” Narcolept continued. “Do you mind if I go inside? I'm getting awfully sleepy standing around here like this...”

The three of them continued along the path to the cottage. “Maybe we should have a vote?” Bones suggested. “If the majority of us think Snow White should be with that buffoon, then...”

Their voices trailed off as soon as they stepped inside.

“
Prince Charmaine,” Hunter snorted. “I don't know what she sees in
him
!” He kept his eyes on the windowsill and hoped Snow White would see the apple soon.

He waited.

And waited.

Finally, Snow White appeared in the window. She stuck out her head and looked around, hoping for a glimpse of Prince Charmaine. Alas, he was nowhere to be found. Her biggest fear was that Bones and the dwarves would scare him off for good!

At long last, she turned her eyes to the apple. She picked it up, sniffed it, and most importantly—she took a bite! When she turned away from the window, Hunter crept out of the bushes and moved in for a closer look. If the old witch was correct, Snow White would collapse in mere seconds!

Hunter peeked into the window. She was sitting on her bed, still nibbling on the apple. Then there was a loud THUD as she slumped to the floor, and he hoped it wasn't enough to alert her protectors. Hunter leapt through the window and approached Snow White. Her beauty was devastating to him, even as she slept. Bending over, he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the window. As small as she was, she felt weightless in his arms. And she felt
good
in his arms! Hunter wanted to hold her forever!

Hunter and his beautiful bundle exited through the window, and he dashed into the woods. Snow White's dangling arms were thrashing as he ran. He couldn't believe how easy it was!

Hunter carried her to the clearing in the woods and decided it was time for a break. But he could only allow himself a short break, because he needed to put distance between the dwarves' cottage and himself.

Unfortunately for Hunter, he picked a bad place to take a break. He had no idea he was standing in the clearing where Prince Charmaine and Snow White had recently rendezvoused, and he had no way of knowing Prince Charmaine was approaching him from behind.

VI

Charmaine unsheathed his sword as he approached the villain. The sound of the scraping metal was enough to alert Hunter of his approach. Hunter spun around, grabbed his axe, and pointed it in Charmaine's direction.

“
Let her go,” Charmaine said. “Let her go, and I won't have to hurt you.”

Hunter laughed. “You think your threats frighten me? You don't look like you'd hurt a fly! You namby pamby piece of--”

“
I don't think you want to finish that sentence,” Charmaine threatened him, thrusting his sword in Hunter's direction. “I don't think you want to lose your tongue, do you?” Alas, it was just an empty threat. There was no way Charmaine could ever cut off a tongue, or even a tip of a tongue. It would be too messy. Too much blood.

“
Let's see if you're so tough after I cleave off your arms and legs!” When Hunter swung his axe, Charmaine winced. Losing ones limb's sounded terribly unpleasant!

“
What did you do to her?” He jabbed his sword in Snow White's direction. “Did you hurt her?”

“
I didn't do anything to her, and I'd never do anything to hurt her!”

“
Oh? And why is she unconscious?”

“
She is... that is... I just...”

Hunter didn't have time to make up excuses. He swung his axe at Charmaine, who had to duck. If he hadn't ducked, he would have surely lost his head! Charmaine retaliated by swinging his sword at Hunter, who used his axe to block it They kept banging away at each other with their weapons, with no one landing any immediate blows.

“
AAH!” Hunter screamed at him. He tried to swipe at Charmaine's midsection with his axe, but Charmaine was too fast. “She's mine! She was always mine!”

“
Keep dreaming, psycho!” Charmaine taunted him. He kept wishing he had taken his sword lessons a bit more seriously. He never dreamed he would be fighting for his life!

And he was fighting for Snow White's life. That was more important than anything!

Charmaine jabbed at Hunter with his sword, and his sword hit its mark! It went all the way through Hunter's shoulder, and his opponent roared in pain.

Charmaine tried to pull out his sword, which was lodged in Hunter's shoulder. His weapon was stuck, which left Charmaine defenseless. Hunter raised his axe and buried it in Charmaine's back! The prince slumped to the ground, injured and utterly defeated.

“
GIT!”
shouted a voice from the woods.

Hunter brandished his axe, preparing to finish off Charmaine.

“
GIT!”

“
Say goodnight,” Hunter cackled. His axe's blade winked in the sunlight.

“
GIT AWAY FROM PRINCE CHARMAINE!!”

Bones sprinted into the clearing faster than any dwarf had run before! Madden, Sheepish, Silly and Merry were behind him, equipped with various weaponry, such as hoes and shovels. Even Wheezy and Narcolept were coming to Charmaine's aid, which was impressive for them, even though they were holding up the rear.

Bones launched a rolling pin at Hunter, which hit him squarely in the head. The other dwarves picked up rocks and sticks and threw them, lobbing anything and everything at Snow White's attacker. Narcolept sneaked up behind him, jumped on Hunter's back, and started gnawing on his injured shoulder. It wasn't long before Hunter had enough. He fell to his knees and whimpered like a baby.

“
Okay okay okay OKAY!” Hunter bellowed. “I give up! Don't hurt me!”

Madden grabbed another rock and pelted him in the head.

“
Ouch!” Hunter whimpered. “I said I GIVE UP!”

Bones grabbed Hunter by the collar of his shirt and gave him a shake. “What did you do to her? What did you do to our girl?!”

“
N-Nothing!” When he saw Bones raise a fist, his tongue was suddenly a whole lot looser. “Okay! I-I gave her an apple.”

“
An apple?!”

“
I gave her an apple to put her into a deep sleep!” Hunter confessed. “She should wake up when she has a kiss from her true love.”

A few of the dwarves exchanged dubious glances.

“
So, naturally...” Hunter went on. “I'm going to have to kiss her!”

“
Like hell you will!”

Bones' fist connected with Hunter's face, which promptly rendered him unconscious.

All three of them were unconscious now: Snow White, Jack Hunter, and Prince Charmaine. “Here's what we're going to do,” Bones said. “I'm going to drag this one off to jail.” He pointed at Hunter. “The rest of you are going to carry Snow and Charmaine back to the cottage.”

A few of the dwarves looked puzzled. Until now, Bones didn't want Charmaine anywhere near the cottage! He obviously had a change of heart.

“
And be careful with the prince,” Bones demanded. “Cuz we're gonna need him to kiss her.”

VII

When Charmaine opened his eyes, he was met with the probing gazes of seven little people. It nearly made him pass out again.

Bones stepped forward. “Charmaine,” he addressed him.

“
Y-yes...?” Charmaine was a bit worried the dwarf was going to pound him on the head. But--

“
Thank you,” Bones said. “We're indebted to you. If you hadn't come to our girl's aid, who knows where she would be right now!”

She's my girl
, Charmaine thought to himself, flashing a secret smile. He tried to sit up, but he realized his back was aching.

“
You were hit,” Bones said. “Hit in the back with an axe, to be precise. You lost a lot of blood, but we patched you up.”

“
You did?”

“
Uh-huh.”

Charmaine propped his hands behind his head and chuckled. “I thought you would have finished me off!”

“
Nooooo. Of course not!” Merry spoke up. “We like you! We really, really do! We like you a lot!”

“
Liking you is better than licking you!” Silly added with a snort.

“
Annnyway...” Bones redirected their attention to the task at hand. “We need a favor from you, Prince Charmaine. A favor of utmost importance!”

“
Yeah? What's that?”

“
A kiss,” Narcolept said. And for a horrifying moment of time, Prince Charmaine was picturing himself kissing the dwarves.

“
Not us!” Bones clarified, apparently reading Charmaine's mind. “Snow White! You'll have to kiss 'er! It's the only way she'll wake up, or so I understand.”

“
Well then, lead the way!” His enthusiasm made Bones glare at him, so Charmaine added, “You know, because I'm happy to help! Someone's got to save Snow White, and it might as well be me!”

Bones grabbed Charmaine by the arm and proceeded to drag him out of bed. Charmaine almost fainted
again
when he saw the blood left behind by his wound. His axe wound must have been worse than he thought!

“
How long was I unconscious?” Charmaine asked.

“
Twenty four hours or so. I was afraid I was going to have to kiss
you
to wake
you
up!” Bones said.

So the dwarf had a sense of humor? Prince Charmaine was pleasantly surprised. “Well, I'm glad it didn't come to that.”

Bones—and several others, whose names Charmaine couldn't remember—led the way to Snow White's bedroom. Along the way, Bones asked, “You like her, don't you?”

“
Snow White? Of course!”

“
I mean, you
really
like her?” Bones repeated. “Because I'm not going to let my girl waste her time with someone who's going to like her half-assed. She deserves better than that! So if you're just messing with her--”