Room 103 02 - Thrilling Heaven (4 page)

     “Where does Kyle think you
are?” Zoe shouted over the rock song Room 103 were already in the middle of when
we entered the private club.

“Bingo, you suddenly fancied giving it a whirl.” I winked
at her.

Her brows lifted high as she grinned, “Babe, do I look
like a bingo queen?”

I laughed at her as we placed our orders at the bar and I
took a deep breath before I turned to study the group.

    An involuntary smile curved
my lips when I spotted Ethan. He always played the drums in a world of his own
and tonight was no exception; you could see it on his face, he was zoned out,
completely relaxed and relishing every single stroke and beat of the drum and
my God, he stole my breath.

The way he moved with such fluidity and grace was the
sexiest thing I’d ever seen; the way he rocked his head to the beat and pulsed
with the rhythm of the music and his utter respect for the drum brought the
thrum to my lower belly the way it always had whenever I had watched him.

“Babe?” Zoe nudged me and I realised she was talking to
me.

“Sorry, treacle.”

I followed her to a corner table and smiled at Bulk on
our way over. He gave me a huge grin and a wink as his eyes followed me across
the room.

They were playing one of their old songs,
Allure
,
which had always been one of my favourites and it wasn’t long before me and Zoe
were singing along with the rest of the crowd.

“Jen?” a female said from beside me and I frowned as I looked
up at her, her face familiar but I couldn’t place it.

“E.” She reminded me as she smiled widely and sat in the
chair beside me “I didn’t realise you were coming tonight.”

“Bulk invited me.” I stated, feeling as though I needed
to give some sort of excuse for being there.

Her brow lifted slightly and I realised Bulk hadn’t
shared our liaison with her. “Yeah, I saw him yesterday and he gave me
tickets.”

She nodded firmly “I’m glad.”

“You want a drink?” Zoe asked us both as she rose from
her seat. I nodded and handed her my glass as E ordered a beer.

“I take it Boss doesn’t know you’re here?” She asked
quietly and I stiffened slightly at her tone.

“No.”

She nodded at me before she turned to her husband on stage,
who finished his song with a dedication to her and she blew him a kiss as he
winked at her.

I smiled at their exchange, wondering what it must feel
like to be worshipped like he obviously did her.

Zoe returned to our table with another beer and a tequila
chaser. “Zo, I’m gonna be on my back.”

She winked at me as she placed one in front of E as well.
“Lighten up Jen; you’re out without the ball and chain. Live it up, babe.”

I rolled my eyes before I saluted Zoe and E and downed
the shot, wincing as its burn hit my throat and Zoe coughed. “Now I know why
the prices are higher here, they don’t water the stuff down.”

“Private club, they can’t afford to dilute their drinks.
They wouldn’t survive.” E explained.

I murmured my agreement as I took a pull on my bottle and
started to relax a little.

From where I was sat, Ethan couldn’t see me so that was
one less thing to worry about at the moment. I could feel the alcohol start to
work and I eased into a comfortable frame of mind as the night wore on and before
long Room 103 had finished their performance and Bulk was bounding over to me.

“Glad you could make it, little lady.” He grinned as
Romeo lifted Zoe out of her chair, sat down and replaced her on his lap.

“I promised I would” I told him.

I could feel Ethan’s eyes burning a hole straight through
me but I refused to turn to him. I wasn’t sure how he would take it that I was
sat with his friends and I wondered if he would join us or leave, so I sat still
and as calm as I possibly could. My insides however, were a complete contrast
to my exterior.

My heart was beating so wildly, I wondered if it would
bring on one of my panic attacks. My blood was roaring at an alarming velocity
around my tight veins and my lungs were screaming at me to inhale deeper, instead
of the short sharp gasps I was currently making.

“Well, well, I didn’t believe in ghosts, but now I do.” Ethan
sneered as he plonked his tall frame into a chair opposite me and I noticed he
was drunk, or high.

“Boss” E warned and I flicked a glance at her. She was
glaring at him and I suddenly realised Ethan didn’t hold the same feelings for
me as I still did for him.

His hatred and contempt was evident on his face and I
swallowed back my own pain at the insight.

Oh my God. It hurt, it hurt so badly.

I suddenly couldn’t breathe as my throat started to close
in and the familiar iciness worked its way through my body. I stood abruptly,
“Excuse me, bathroom.” I muttered as I made my way across the room in desperate
search for the toilets.

Flinging myself through the door when I found them, I was
relieved when I found it empty and I grasped hold of a sink and fought to
control the attack.

I pulled in a huge breath, held it for three, and then
released.

Again, Jen.

In, hold, out. In, hold, out. In, hold, out.

I stared at my pale and sweaty face in the mirror, the
bruise on my cheek laughing at me and taunting me that I deserved everything I
got.

The door opened with a bang and my knees buckled when a
stormy faced Ethan stood staring at me.

“What are you doing here, Jen?” he asked sternly and I
gulped at the sudden dryness in my mouth.

“I’m… I’m sorry. I’ll, uhh, I’ll go.” I choked out as I
stumbled past him.

He grabbed my arm and I stilled but didn’t turn. “Why,
Jen, why?” he whispered with a voice full of ache and hurt and I locked my gaze
on his hand, his large fingers wrapped around my skin. His touch; the first
touch in nine years had every single hair under his hand electrified and rearing
to attention.

“Why what, Ethan?” I asked quietly still diverting my
eyes away from his beautiful but tortured face.

He barked out a laugh, a bitter and cold one and I winced
at the venom in it. “Yeah, didn’t think you’d remember how you just left
without a word. You always were a selfish bitch.”

Nice.

I pulled my arm from his grasp and finally raised my eyes
to his. “You know why Ethan, you know why I left.”

He lifted a brow at me as his eyes dropped to my mouth
and I felt his ire in my bones. “God damn Jen, you didn’t even say goodbye. You
just chose Kyle then fucked off. You just left me, just fucking left me. Do you
realise how that felt?”

“Yes.” I whispered, amazed that I had actually managed to
find a voice against the restriction in my throat.

The door started to open and Ethan slammed his hand
against it. “Out of order, use the men’s” he commanded to the person trying to
gain entry.

A huff sounded but they disappeared and Ethan didn’t
remove his eyes from me as we stared at each other.

“Did you enjoy it, Jen?” he virtually spat at me and I
frowned at what he meant.

“Did I enjoy what?”

His lip curled maliciously and my stomach dropped at the
sight of it. “Climbing from my dick straight onto his. There’s a word for women
like that.”

My palm hit his cheek forcefully and his face shot to the
side.

He hissed through his teeth as he turned back to face me,
his eyes dark and unblinking as he locked me down.

His hand reached out and grabbed a chunk of my hair
before he pulled my head back harshly and then his mouth was over mine, his
lips bruising and brutal as he kissed me feverishly.

Oh my God, he still felt the same, he still tasted the
same and he still kissed me with the same damn passion and hunger he always
had.

A groan rumbled through his chest as I yanked on his
ponytail and pulled him closer to me, needing to devour him as I relished his
kiss.

My back slammed against the door as he pressed his hard
erection into me and I moaned as a fierce arousal crashed into me.

He was suddenly unbuttoning my jeans and pulling them and
my knickers down my hips, before his finger circled my swollen clit and my head
fell back and banged on the door.

He smirked at me when he found my clit ring and gave it a
slight tug before his lips and teeth ventured across my jawline.

“Oh yeah, you still like that, don’t you Jen? Still like
my fingers on you and in you” he murmured as he slid lower and pushed into me.

“Oh God.” I breathed through a deep moan as he slid in
another finger and started to fuck me harder with them.

“You remember how we felt together, Jen. Me, deep inside you,
my hard cock filling you and stretching you. You remember how hard we used to
come together?”

I could feel the tingle in my thighs and my legs started
twitching in response to my oncoming orgasm, an orgasm that I knew would tear
me in two with its ferocity.

He instantly pulled out and then wiped his fingers across
my lips, my arousal smearing across my skin stickily as he leaned in close to
my face. “How do you feel now, Jen? Frustrated? Broken? Let-down? Hurt?”

I stared at him in confusion, my body still tingling and
demanding the orgasm it didn’t receive.

“Well now you might have a tiny inkling how I felt when
you left me” he snarled before he opened the door and pushed past me, leaving
me humiliated and hurt with my jeans and underwear around my hips.

I slid down the door as the tears came and I let them
come, finally; nine years’ worth of tears demanding an entry so fierce that I
fought for my breath against them.

They were vicious and cruel in their relentless mission
to drown me and wound me, Ethan’s words swimming around my head as my body
shook.

I deserved them, each and every thing he said, I knew I
did, but that didn’t make them any less painful and any less hurtful.

What was that saying? Oh, yeah, ‘Heaven lent you a soul;
earth will give you a grave.’

Well right now, I prayed with everything I was to swap
that soul god had given me for the grave earth promised.

If he knew the truth, would he still have said them? I’d
never know because he could never know the truth of why I left him.

That was a secret I had to take to the grave because as
much as I wanted to voice them to him, scream them at him to defend my actions,
I knew if I did, then I would be an accomplice to murder. My honesty would
start a war so violent that either Ethan or Kyle would fight to the death.

That’s just how they were, that’s how they had always
been; they would fight for me until the other could no longer breathe and I
wouldn’t be responsible for that.

So I picked myself up off the floor, pulled everything
back up and took a steadying breath before I went back out there.

As I approached the table, I groaned inwardly when I
spotted Ethan sat on a chair with a blonde on his knee, his mouth on her neck
and his hand up her skirt.

His smug cold hard eyes found mine as I neared the table
and I knew I had to get out of there but I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction
of seeing my pain and hurt.

Bulk narrowed his eyes on me as I settled back in my
seat. “You okay?” he asked as he placed his hand on my thigh and squeezed.

I nodded, picked up my bottle and saluted him. “I’m
brill. It’s my wedding anniversary Monday and we’re off to France for a few
days” I declared a little louder than necessary as I downed the tequila Zoe had
replaced.

I saw Ethan rear back from the corner of my eye as Bulk
stared at me and glanced at Ethan.

“You married him then?” Ethan spoke quietly and I lifted
my own cold eyes to his and tilted my head at him.

“I did, seven years ago. Did you not receive the invite?”

Bulk hissed beside me but I held Ethan’s gaze, his dark
eyes now blazing as his throat bobbed manically and his chest heaved with each
of his forceful breaths.

I could see all eyes on us and especially Zoe’s confused
one’s as she looked back and forth between Ethan and I.

“Jen, you okay?” she whispered in my ear and I nodded as
I still locked on Ethan.

He eventually scoffed and lifted his glass to me. “Welcome
to the family, sister-in-law, you picked the best brother. At least you chose
the one that wanted something more from you than your pussy, sweetheart.”

Ouch!

He downed his drink, grabbed Blondie and disappeared.

“Nice, little lady” Bulk whispered in my ear.

I turned and glared at him. “Butt the fuck out now” I
warned as I downed my own drink and snatched up my bag and turned to Zoe.

“I’m going, you stay, treacle. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She furrowed her brow on me and then pointed one of her
long manicured fingers at me, “Usual, tomorrow, Baker’s.”

I nodded in response to her brunch date then smiled at
the rest of the group before I pulled my shoulders back and walked from the
room proud and tall.

***

     “Fuck!” I hissed when I
realised Kyle was still up as I closed the front door behind me. All I wanted
to do was curl up and wallow.

His bright eyes lifted to my face when I walked into the
room. “Good night?” he asked before he turned his attention back to some boring
documentary he was watching on the TV.

I shrugged as I walked through to the kitchen, “Okay, you
want a drink?”

“No, I’m good” he replied as I gripped the worktop and
pulled in a heavy breath.

I closed my eyes and fought against the pain inside me.
Everything seemed so raw and fresh, nine years of denial and lockdown ripped
apart and memories flooded back into me as I blinked back the tears.

“No, damn you.” I breathed.

I stiffened as Kyle’s arms circled my waist. “You sure
you want that drink, darling?” he whispered into the crook of my neck and I
shivered involuntary.

He pulled back a little and narrowed his eyes on me “Did
you just fucking shiver?”

“No, you just tickled me” I lied giving him a frown.

He regarded me for a while, and then decided I was
telling the truth before sliding his hand over my arse.

“Come to bed, Jen” he ordered softly as his hand roamed
up to my breast.

“I’ll just have a drink and then I’ll be up.”

His hand slid up my breastbone and encircled my neck
lightly, “Now, Jen.”

I stared at him for a while, taking in the cut of his
chin and the contours of his prominent cheekbones, as his dark eyes bore into
me and I suddenly knew what to do to kill the internal pain; to halt the hurt
inside and to stop the cycle of Ethan’s words.

“No.” I said bluntly as I stared at him nonchalantly.

Bring it on!

He tipped his head vehemently, his eyes blazing with the
raw rage inside him. “What?” he said with a cold quiet tone in his voice.

“I said No, I don’t want to fuck you tonight Kyle. In
fact, I don’t think I ever wanna fuck you again.”

Just like that!

As soon as his fist twisted in my hair and his fist
connected with my ribcage, I closed my eyes and savoured in the images of
summers spent making love in the tall grass and Ethan’s loving words.

His soft eyes on mine as he moved deliciously inside me,
his lips at my ear, whispering I love you’s and words of how beautiful I was.
His gentle hands caressing every inch of my skin as his lips followed their
trek.

“By the way, Jen…” one final thrust, “I love you.”

***

     My phone rang somewhere in
the darkness of the room and I pulled myself from my foetus position on the carpet
and along the floor to reach in my bag.

‘Bulk’

I declined the call but no sooner had I put my phone back
down, it beeped a text message.

“God damn!” I hissed as I picked it back up.

Bulk:

Come outside!

What the hell?

Me:

What are you doing here? I’m busy, go home.

Bulk:

Not a chance. You want me to come in?

Fuck!

Me:

Please, just go home.

I breathed a sigh of relief when after five minutes my
phone remained silent and I curled back into a ball, rocking my broken body to
and fro gently, trying to establish a soothing rhythm but everything,
everywhere hurt and I stifled back the sob.

Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to tell him no
after all.

I squinted in the darkness when I heard a funny scraping
sound and I prayed to god I wasn’t sharing my living room floor with a mouse.

“Not now” I moaned as I tried to drag myself across to
the lamp.

I managed to reach it and raised myself up to flick the
switch.

Luckily the scream stuck in my throat when Bulk’s dark
and dangerous face secured on me from the kitchen doorway.

“What the fuck!” I hissed as I took a glance at the
stairs, “What the hell are you doing?”

He remained silent, his lips sucked behind his teeth and
his fists clenched into tight balls as he took deep heavy breaths.

“Where is he?” he asked calmly and quietly.

I penetrated his eyes with my own and shook my head. “No,
Bulk. This has nothing to do with you, now please, just go.” I whispered as I
palmed the sofa and lifted myself up.

My legs gave way and Bulk shot out and caught me before I
went down.

He stared at me for a moment before he scooped me gently
in his arms and carried me back into the kitchen, through the back door and out
to his car.

“What are you doing?” I hissed as I struggled against
him.

“What you should have done a long time ago, getting you
out of there.”

I started to panic then and palmed his chest “Bulk, No.
Don’t get involved in this, please. He’ll…”

He looked down at me angrily “He’ll what, Jen? Hit me? I
doubt it, I’m not a woman.”

“He’ll kill you…” I whispered on a choke.

“Really?”  He laughed lightly and I swallowed against his
nonchalance.

“I’m not kidding Bulk, he will kill you.”

“Uh-huh.” He answered as he slipped me into the passenger
seat of his car.

“Please…” I begged as I fought through the onslaught of
an oncoming panic attack.

I could see his tongue in his cheek as he fought against
his anger. “Where’s your stuff?” he asked as he crouched down beside me.

My eyes widened and I grabbed his arm, “Don’t go in
there, Bulk.”

“I’m just gonna have a word and get some of your stuff.”

Oh God, No.

I shook my head rapidly at him, “Bulk, I am not shittin’
you here. Do not go in there. He doesn’t mess around.”

He narrowed his eyes on me “Jen, I can take care of
myself. I’ll be fine.”

He stood up and I grabbed his wrist in my panic “If you
don’t go in, I’ll come back with you, but you go in then I’m following you.”

He took a huge breath and rolled his eyes before he
relented and walked around the car and climbed in beside me.

We were silent for a while; both of us lost in our
thoughts as Bulk navigated the London traffic and drove us towards his house.

“You need the hospital?” he asked bluntly and I shook my
head as I diverted my gaze out of the window.

“You sure?”

I just nodded to him as I tried to control my breathing.

His hand settled on my thigh and I turned to look at him.
“You’ll be fine, I promise” he said as he gave me a small smile.

“It’s not me I’m worried about.”

“Listen, I’ve told you, I can take care of myself.” He
gave me a swift glance and I returned it with a faint nod.

“It’s not you I’m worried about either.”

He narrowed his eyes before he pulled up at some giant
iron gates and pressed a button on his dash to open them. “Don’t tell me you’re
worried about your knob of a husband.”

I gave him a bark of laughter, “No. It doesn’t matter,
ignore me.”

He pulled up in front of a stunning Georgian house. Its
huge lattice windows were surrounded by tons of creeping ivy and beautiful
wooden shutters, the high roof had sunken windows and what looked like its
original chimney turrets and the massive arched front door was flanked with
wide white columns.

“Oh my God, this is so beautiful” I whispered, more to
myself than Bulk but he heard me and thanked me as he came around to me and
helped me inside.

“Come on little lady, let’s get you pissed.” He grinned
at me and I nodded firmly as I thoroughly agreed with him.

Yes, please.