Room 103 02 - Thrilling Heaven (17 page)

Her hands fought to hold me tight, her fingernails
digging into my back like she wanted to pull me inside her as her legs clamped
my waist like a vice.

We both yelled each other’s names loudly and ferociously
as our bodies shook and jerked with our synchronised gratification.

I rested my forehead on her shoulder as her hand lifted
to my dripping hair, her fingers stroking gently through the clump of wetness
as I sighed heavily.

“Get off me” she whispered bitterly and I stilled at her
tone.

I frowned and reared back to look at her but she had
already shut down her emotions; her face a blank canvas, devoid of any emotion
or feeling. “What?” I asked quietly as I pushed a clump of her hair away from
her face.

“Thanks for the fuck and all, but now I wanna go home”
she uttered impassively as she tried to wriggle out from under me.

I shook my head sadly. “What do you want me to do, Jen? I
don’t know what to do to make it better.”

Her eyes fixed on me as she released her own hefty sigh.
“Get a refund and cancel the contract you took out on your brother. That should
do it.”

“You know I can’t do that. I can’t turn back time. And to
be blunt, I wouldn’t even if I could. He abused you and hurt you for years,
Jen. He wasted so many years of what we could have been. He took you away from
me; he ruined my life as well as yours. Yet, here you are suddenly acting like
he was husband of the year, worthy of a fucking OBE. Well, let me tell you
something, Jen. He was a manipulative, cruel, evil bastard and he didn’t
deserve to die so quickly.”

Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have said it like that.

The rage that was bubbling away inside her erupted like a
raging volcano and she screamed primitively as her knuckles connected with my
face and smashed me sideways against the windscreen in her extreme rage. She
pushed me down the bonnet as she jumped up and climbed into the car.

I fought to drag myself out of the mud I had sunk into
when I had slid off the edge of the car.

I made an attempt to dive into the car, but I was too
late as she reversed at speed, the tyres ripping up the wet ground as she
floored the accelerator and left me stood in the rain wondering how the fuck I
was going to get back.

Fucking ace!

Three god damn hours of jogging before I reached home;
three bloody hours of unyielding and persistent rain bearing down on me all the
way and three hours of my brain reminding me of my fuck up.

“Okayyy, you fool.” I cursed myself when I reached my
front door and realised I didn’t have my keys.

I slid down the door and slumped on my arse, resting on the
step, knackered, tired and angry.

My life was full of joy.

E’s jeep pulled up to the security gates and I remained
on the step, watching her impassively as she punched in the code and drove up
to me slowly.

“Hey,” she said as she exited the car and walked over to
me. “Need these?”

Her fingers waggled her own key to my front door and I
frowned at her as I pulled myself upright. “How did you know?”

She smiled sadly at me as she let us into my house. “Zoe
rang and said Jen had turned up in your car, saying something about leaving you
in the middle of nowhere whilst she stole your wheels.”

“Yeah,” I snorted as I flicked on the lights.

“Go grab a shower whilst I make you something to eat.”
She said as she pulled out things from my cupboards. Her own knowledge of where
everything was wasn’t lost on me as I regarded the best friend someone could
ever have.

“I love you, hot stuff.” I whispered as I side hugged her
and kissed her forehead.

“I know, baby. Me too” she whispered back as she pulled
me against her for a proper hug. “She’ll come round, Boss. Just give her time
to reflect on everything. She loves you; any fool can see that but her hearts
clashing with what her heads telling her at the moment.”

I sighed and nodded as I pulled away and dragged myself
up the stairs, the promise of the pleasure of a warm shower and clean clothes
the only reason I managed it up the stairs in my exhaustion.

***

“Ugh…” I groaned as I rolled over and realised it was light
outside. “Shit.” I flung myself off the bed and peered at the clock for the
time. “Christ!”

It was one in the afternoon and I had slept through the
meal E had made me, my appointment with my health specialist and my meeting
with Brent, our manager.

Hurrying through a quick shower and pulling on the first
items of clothes I came to, I scampered down the stairs and into the kitchen,
determined to down a swift coffee before I had to rush out.

My feet skidded to a halt as I found E and my
grandparents laughing at something in the newspaper that was spread out on the
kitchen table.

“Whoa. Good afternoon, boy.” My grandfather laughed when
I nearly collided with him.

“Hey” I smiled widely as I planted a kiss on my grandma’s
head when she grabbed my hand to slow me down, her warm leathery skin filling
my system with her familiar love and adoration.

“How are you, Ethan?” she asked and from the tone of
softness in her voice I could tell she knew just how fine I wasn’t. She knew of
my heartache where Jen was concerned but not what had caused the latest
conflict between us and I felt a pang of guilt for my necessary lie to them.

I smiled at her and she nodded in understanding. “That’s
why we’re here, really.” She offered and I frowned at her as I poured coffee
from the glass carafe that E had made.

My granddad laughed wickedly as he held up the keys to
the cottage in Cornwall they owned. “Fancy doing some kidnapping?”

My grandma winked mischievously at me as E grinned
widely.

“I rather like your way of thinking, grandpa.”

He nodded smugly, “Thought you would, boy.”

***

     I paced a hole in the lounge
carpet of the Cornish cottage as I awaited Zoe. My heart beat rapidly and my
stomach churned with what I was about to do.

She would loath me; she would kick, scream, bite and just
plain hate me but I didn’t give a single god damned shit, I’d had enough of her
pursuit to obliterate herself and everyone around her. It was time to drill
some love and sense into her… hopefully literally.

My stomach actually groaned, but it could have been my
bowels actually, as I heard Zoe’s car pull up in the small driveway, my own car
hidden around the corner so Jen wouldn’t sense an ambush.

“Okay, Boss. Pull it in, hold it in and fucking pray.”

I moved into the kitchen as the front door opened and
Jen’s laughter filled the air. “Wow, Zo. This is awesome.”

“Thought you’d like it, babe. Six weeks of sea air, peace
and tranquillity and…”

“…me” I grinned as I stepped from behind the doorframe.

Her face paled as Zoe jumped back through the doorway and
locked the door behind her whilst I picked Jen up and fought against her wild thrashing
body as I bounded the stairs and took her straight into the bedroom, dropping
her on the bed before I locked the door with the new deadbolt I’d had fitted.

“What the hell are you doing?” she screamed at me as she
pulled and yanked on the door handle.

I pulled in a breath and perched on the bed, watching her
rage and fury attack the door. Her face was red and angry as tears streamed
down her cheeks and the sight of her terror had my mind arguing with my heart
as to whether I was doing the right thing.

“Calm down, baby.”

She spun around so fast I was surprised she didn’t suddenly
appear in a Wonderwoman costume whilst she glared at me with the same stare Superman
used when he eye-lazered some bad motherfucker.

“Let – me – out – now!”

“Can’t do that, Jen.” I shrugged nonchalantly as I
studied my fingernails. I was shitting myself really, but I didn’t want her to
know that. My jaw still ached from her last punch and I was secretly frightened
of her.

She flung her little body at me, pinning me under her as
she launched into a tirade of punches, verbal abuse and pure hatred.

I curled up into a ball as I let her go with it, knowing
she would soon tire and relent.

Give the girl credit; twenty minutes solid she beat me,
twenty bloody minutes. I was black, blue and all the colours of the chuffing
rainbow before she eventually conceded with one last meagre slap on my chest.

“Finished?” I rasped when she climbed off me and sat on
the edge of the bed with her face in her hands and wept.

“Please let me go, Ethan. I can’t do this.”

Cautiously, I placed an arm around her shoulders as I
pulled her into me but she flipped away from me, turning her back on me and faced
the opposite way.

“W
e
can do this, Jen.
We
will do this. I
need us back to where we need to be” I told her softly and I noticed the flick
of her shoulders as she scoffed at my words. “You and me, Jen. We were meant to
be, made by god for each other and I’ll be damned if I let this ruin us. Eleven
fucking years I have wanted you, needed you and I’m not gonna wait no longer.
You’re mine, baby and I’m gonna prove it to ya’.”

I slammed the door and locked it behind me before I slid
down the wall and cried silently.

“Hey” I said softly as I opened her door and placed the
tray on the table beside the bed.

She looked up at me from the chair in the corner of the
room, her death glare burning a hole straight through me as her lip curled in
disgust. “What delights are you going to poison me with this morning?” she
asked sarcastically as she eyed the plate of pancakes.

I grinned happily at her as my pride over my culinary skills
and the pancakes arose. I had never made them before and I was damn proud of
how they had turned out. “Pancakes, baby. With syrup, how you like them.”

Her cold eyes lifted to mine as she stood and slowly
walked over to the breakfast plate. She lifted it up and sniffed it cautiously
before she slapped it in my face. They stuck like glue with the syrup adhering
itself to the every single hair on my face as the plate dropped to the floor
and bounced off my bare toes.

“Nice.” I hissed out as I pulled the food away.

“Very” she chuckled callously.

I grit my teeth without uttering another word and left
the room, locking it again as I left.

This was gonna be harder than I thought. She really did
hate me and I had no clue as what to do with her.

It was like some malicious and cold person had possessed
her body; however there were still remnants of the gentle and loving Jen in
there sometimes. I could see her in the twinkle of her eye, or when I would
catch the tiny curl of her soft lips and I knew she was remembering some sweet
moment in her head; whether it was a memory involving me or Kyle, I wasn’t sure
but I knew it was there.

Pulling my food coated clothes from my body for the
second time, the soup I had made her last night had been the first, I walked
into the shower and turned it high. The hot pelts energised every cell in me, stimulating
my brain as I was in desperate need of any hint what to do next.

Could I do this? Was I doing the right thing? Would she
forever hate me after this?

I frowned when I heard banging and sighed when I realised
it was Jen shouting something incoherent. I moaned as I stepped out of the
shower and pulled a towel round my hips. “Hang on, I’m coming” I shouted over
the din of her fists thumping the door.

I braced myself as I opened her door, expecting some
heavy item to come hurtling at speed across the room towards my head.

 She was stood with her hands on her hips, her condemning
eyes narrow and incensed, reminding me of when I was little and my mother would
hold the same pose after she had discovered something I had been a little
adventurous with, usually her make-up bag… but don’t tell anybody that, it’s
our secret!

“What’s wrong, baby?” I asked as sweetly as I could but
my pumping blood was proof of my terror.

“I need tampons, Ethan.”

….

Okayyy, uhh.

“Okayyy, uhh. You don’t have any?”

She rolled her eyes at my stupidity. “Did you bring any?
Cos’ I didn’t and now I’ve started my period. Unless you have some I could
borrow?”

I shook my head slowly in bewilderment at the
predicament.

She huffed loudly. “Well, you’re just gonna have to go
fetch me some, seems as though I’m being held hostage and can’t leave these
ugly four walls.”

“Is this why you’re in a bad mood, baby?”

Oops!

Her eyes widened to an extent I expected them to pop out
and roll across the floor towards me. Her chest puffed out so far, I wouldn’t
have been surprised if it ripped open and an alien launched across the room and
attached itself to my face, whilst a feral growl similar to Godzilla’s battle
cry rumbled through her whole body.

“Right, okay. I’ll go get you some.” I flustered and shot
from the room before her fists found my face again.

***

      Jesus Christ!!!

Blue ones, red ones, pink ones, white ones, yellow ones.
Super, regular, mini, light, mixed, super plus. Applicator, no applicator,
smooth applicator, travel applicator, cardboard applicator, plastic applicator.

What – the – fucking – hell!

Give me a damn clue please; I am begging you now. Please.

I knew if I got her the wrong ones she would eat me alive
and then spit me out just so she could stomp on me.

“Can I help you, sir?”

I turned to see an oldish woman with the chemists’ tabard
over her clothes looking at me kindly with a soft smile attached to her lips.
“Oh, uhh, yes. My girlfriend needs tampons.”

She smiled wider and nodded, “She didn’t give you a clue
as to which ones did she?” Her face showed her knowledge and I shook my head in
shame.

“That’s okay, sweetie. I’m sure we can figure it out
together.”

I knew she had seen the pure alarm of my dilemma on my
face and I already loved this woman with more than my life as she helped me
pick out things to help Jen… and me, get through the next few days alive.

Jen’s wide eyes stared at me as I tipped the contents of
the bag onto the bed. I had, with the advice of Dorothy the chemist lady,
bought tampons, chocolate, sweets, special period pain pills, luxury bubble
bath, scented candles, a tiny microwaveable heat-pad for her tummy and a pile
of soppy DVD’s.

I nodded lightly at her before I walked back over to the
door. “Ethan” she called as I was about to close the door behind me.

I turned back to her and my heart fluttered at the soft
smile on her lips. “Thank you.” she whispered.

I returned her gentle smile and shut the door quietly as
I left her to do what she needed to do.

I must remember to send Dorothy a huge bunch of flowers.

I pumped a fist in the air at the small breakthrough
whilst a huge grin donned my face.

Little things and simple minds!

***

“She doesn’t die!” Jen declared but I nodded adamantly.

“I bet you she does.” I argued as I watched
Titanic
with her from the comfort of the large soft bed in her room.

My soul had sung loudly when she asked if I wanted to
watch a movie with her whilst we ate our pizza.

She hadn’t touched me, her little body teetering on the
edge of her side of the bed whereas I took the other side but it was a small
step forward and I would take anything she offered at the moment.

“Ethan, I’m telling you, she doesn’t.”

“Well that’s shit. How unbelievable is this film?
Hundreds of passengers in the middle of a freezing ocean and some survivors! Like
that would ever happen. Pfft, they should really make movies more lifelike!”

I stared at her when she burst out laughing, proper
laughter as tears streamed down her face and she held her stomach. “My god, I
lo…”

She coughed to cover her slip as I grinned at her, “What?
What’s so funny?” But her blunder had shut her down again.

“I’m tired now, I wanna sleep” she said blandly.

I nodded sadly as I unfolded myself off her bed. “Okay.”

I picked the plates off the bed and pulled her the blinds
closed as I switched off the TV. “Sleep well.” I said gently but she didn’t
utter another word as she curled into a ball under the duvet. The sigh that
left her heart fisted mine and I swallowed heavily at the sorrow in it.

“By the way…” I whispered as I pulled her door closed and
left her my heart on the edge of her bed.