Room 103 02 - Thrilling Heaven (16 page)

As we stepped off the stage at the end of our performance
two weeks later I saw her, but it wasn’t her. It wasn’t the Jen I knew. This
Jen was dressed in a black leather skirt so short it could have been mistaken
for a belt. The tight red Basque that hugged her chest screamed sin and the high
heeled knee length boots shouted that she wanted to be fucked good and hard.
Her gorgeous wavy chestnut hair was now black, straight and sleek and her
make-up harsh and tarty in contrast to the natural look she usually went for.

It broke my heart and made my dick hard.

Her head flung back as she laughed loudly at something
Kirk, a Room 103 roadie, said to her as her hand rested on his bicep and he
flexed in his flirtation with her.

A growl erupted from my chest as I stalked over to them.

Her dark gaze shifted to me and I gasped at the emptiness
and hollowness in her eyes but it wasn’t that what shocked me; it was the wide
eyes and the dilated pupils that haunted me – she was high on coke.

Holy fuck, no!

“What the fuck, Jen?” I hissed at her as I grabbed her
arm and yanked her into a corner of the corridor as Bulk and Angel emerged with
a gaggle of giggling women.

She pulled her arm back harshly as she sneered at me,
“What the fuck, Ethan?” she mocked and I closed my eyes as I fought to rein in
my anger at her self destruction.

“Why are you doing this, baby?”

She spat in my face, proper hoicked and spat at me. “Jesus
Christ!” I hissed as I wiped her deposit off my cheek.

“I told you to never call me that again. In fact don’t
ever fucking talk to me again, that would be perfect.”

She stiffened when Bulk approached us, his rage and fury
eating up what little oxygen surrounded us. “You wanna explain why you look
high, little lady?”

She snorted and rolled her bugged out eyes, “Maybe that’s
because I am high, Bulk.”

He hissed through his teeth as he growled from his chest
before he gripped her arm and dragged her down the corridor kicking and
screaming in protest as he pulled her into a room prior to slamming the door
shut behind him.

“Okay, Boss?” Jax asked in his own special way but his
words were filled with concern for me and I smiled sadly.

“She’s fucking stoked.”

He frowned and cocked his head. “Coke?”

I nodded as he whistled in and closed his eyes in
despair. “She’s hurting, Boss but you need to drag that shit out of her, ya’
hear me?”

I sighed and nodded again. “I hear ya’, Jax.”

He nodded and patted my arm before he stalked off towards
the dressing rooms and pulled his phone from his pocket as was his routine at
phoning E after every performance.

Their little habits always made me smile but today they
saddened me because I wanted Jen and me to develop our own little habits and customs.
I wanted our relationship to progress into something… more, something with
little routines and ways that were just ours.

Brenda our PA shouted me and threw me a bottle of
Powerade as she smiled sympathetically at me.

Christ was every fucker aware of my turbulent
relationship with Jen?

I leant against the wall as I awaited the reappearance of
Jen and Bulk and I cringed as each of their raised voices filled the corridor,
Jen’s a touch louder than Bulk’s but his angrier and more forceful.

“I won’t let you do this, Jen!” Bulk’s muffled voice
filtered through the thin plywood walls as Jen’s now familiar manic laugh
echoed around it.

I felt as well as heard the bang on the wall behind me
and I screwed up my face as I pictured the scene in the room behind me.

I knew Bulk had slammed Jen up against the wall in his temper;
the customary action was common knowledge to his friends and his late wife,
Shona. His hands would be wrapped around the top of her arms as his thigh
pushed against hers, holding her in an immobile position as he locked her down
whilst he let rip.

And then he let rip.

The string of expletives that erupted from him would even
make Jax blush and I smirked when I realised Jen hadn’t uttered a single word
since Bulk brought forward his wrath.

Silence descended before the door opened and a sulking
Jen stormed past me without even a little bit of acknowledgement.

I entered the room and sighed at the weariness that
engulfed Bulk. “She needs fuckin’ help!”

I nodded as I rested my ass against the edge of a table
and jumped back up when it shot backwards and I nearly ended up in heap on the
floor.

Bulk smirked at me and I gave him a blasé look before I
folded my arms over my chest. “What did she have to say?”

His eyes scanned me before he shook his head sadly, “That
she needs to get high to forget.”

I frowned as I tipped my head. “Forget what?”

The sadness that displayed openly on his face had me
fighting with the urge to erase that last question. “To forget the image of
Kyle’s life fading from his eyes as he held her hand and took his last breath.
To forget what she had done to him. To forget the blame she puts on herself
and… to forget you.”

Sweet Jesus.

I nodded and sighed. “Ouch.”

Bulk shrugged but rubbed my shoulder before he exited the
room, his face etched with worry and concern. For me? For Jen? Maybe for both
of us.

Everything was fucked up; spiralling out of control and
my heart bled even when it was frozen.

I didn’t know what to do. What to do to help her and to
get us both back to where I wanted us. But I knew one thing, I wouldn’t stop
trying, I would never stop trying to reach her.

She was mine, she had always been mine. I just had to
make her accept it and attempt to make her see how damn beautiful and perfect she
was.

***

     I opened the arena doors and stepped into the car
park. The rain was relentless in its pursuit to sodden and drown everything. It
matched my mood and I raised my face to the sky, asking for its pureness to
absolve my guilt, for its fury to cleanse me and wash away my pain.

As I stepped out from under the veranda a noise from the
dark corner to my right caught my attention and I turned towards it.

A shape was huddled at the bottom of the wall; its
outline told me it was Jen. I would recognise that frame from anywhere.

“Jen?” I approached her warily, cautious of the mood that
dominated her.

Her cold heavy eyes lifted to mine as her arms clasped
her trembling bent knees. “What do you want, Ethan?” She appeared to be drunk
but it could just be the coke ditching her down and slurring her words.

Crouching in front of her I reached out slowly, letting
her know of my intention to touch her before I swept the stray lock of hair
from her eyes. “You okay?”

She scoffed. “Would you be okay if Bulk had blasted your
eardrums and made you feel like shit?”

I smiled softly, “Yeah, he’s always been good at that.
Making you feel…”

“Worthless, disgusting, immoral…” she finished for me.

“You’re none of those things, baby. You’re beautiful,
compassionate, kind, sexy, bright, funny… I could go on forever, Jen.”

She swallowed heavily and cleared her throat before she
stood up. “I better go.” Her hands brushed at her backside as she cleared the
debris off her knickers, her skirt so short it hadn’t even touched the ground
as she sat.

“Need any help with that?” I teased as I peered behind
her for a quick glimpse at the perfect soft swells of her bum concealed by a
tiny piece of black lace.

She laughed a little and I smiled when the laughter
actually reached her eyes before it disappeared and she palmed my face.

She didn’t speak, she didn’t need to; her gaze held all
her words and emotions; the pain, the devastation and anger was etched into the
lines that now donned her stunning face.

I reciprocated her tender touch and leaned in to twirl
her nose with my own. “It doesn’t have to be like this, Jen. Kyle wouldn’t want
to see you self-destruct like this.”

Wrong words again, Boss!

Christ, they kept falling from me like the rain from the
clouds at the moment; fluent and fast.

She stiffened and pushed her hands against my chest
making me stumble backwards slightly. “How the fuck would you know what Kyle
wanted?”

I heaved in a hefty dose of air as I narrowed my eyes on
her.

She wanted to play with fire? Then I would feed her the bloody
sparks to light the fucking dynamite.

“Because he was my brother, Jen. I could feel him, inside
me,” I grabbed her hand and pressed it between my breastbone so she could feel
the thump, thump, thump of the damn defective organ that refused to stop its
relentless ache. “He was my kin, my blood, my fucking other half.”

She scoffed loudly and removed her hand as she tried to
make her escape but I grabbed her firmly and refused to give her the dodge that
she wanted. “Your brother,
your
brother?”
she spat maliciously.
“You don’t deserve to call him that. You killed him, you fucking killed him.
You bastard!”

Her fists came then, along with all her hatred and guilt
as they smashed repeatedly into me, her fury fuelling her fight as she let it
out and blamed me repeatedly for everything.

I agreed with her. Agreed with every single venomous word
she spat at me in her undertaking to hurt me.

Okay, I’d had enough of being beaten now so I circled her
with my arms, clamping her down as I lifted her and carried her to my car, her
feet and heels digging into my shins painfully as she fought against me.

“Will you fucking quit?” I bit down on my lip harshly at
the sting in my legs as her heels impaled themselves into my flesh.

“Get the fuck off me, Ethan. Let me go!”

I ignored her protests as I opened the car, somewhat
awkwardly, and flung her into the passenger seat, flicking the lock so she
couldn’t escape as I orbited the car to the driver’s side quickly to evade the
rain.

As I settled in beside her she huffed loudly and folded
her arms over her chest in a defensive stance. I knew she was attempting to
shield her heart with the posture, her arms her armour against my presence and
her anger her screen to cover the pain.

We drove in silence for a while, Jen simmering rapidly
beside me as I frequently flicked her a few glances but she didn’t acknowledge
me in any way until suddenly she declared, “Will you just let me out, I wanna
go fuck some random.”

I knew it was just said to hurt me, I knew her words from
the other week were just said to hurt me, but those words right at that very
moment severed my tolerance and I screeched the car into the layby that
appeared like a gift from god on the left.

She stared at me as I yanked off my seatbelt, shot out of
the car and dragged her out by her hair.

I forcefully bent her over the bonnet, the heel of my
hand pressing into her soft flesh at the dip of her lower back where her Basque
had risen in the bend of her body, despite the fact that she struggled beneath
me. The rain beat down on us, its persistent driving torrent drenching every
inch of us as I ripped her knickers off and threw them into the mud puddle
behind me.

“You wanna fuck, Jen? Then let’s fuck. Let’s fuck like
animals. Let’s rip into each other and hurt each other. Let’s damage each other
so much more than we’re already doing.” I snarled at her as I unbuckled my belt
frantically.

She growled feral and loud as I thrust into her hard and
deep. “Yeah, that’s what you want, is it? My hard cock ramming the fucking life
out of you?”

I gripped her hair almost painfully as I pounded into
her, giving her the carnal thrill she was desperate for. I pulled her head back
as the rain spilled down her face and smudged the oceans of make-up she was
wearing. “That what you want, baby?” I yelled at her as she bucked back on me,
gripping my cock and pulling it deeper inside her.

I could feel the approach of a climax that would rip me
in half, my balls painfully full to their limit, but I grit my teeth and held
the fucker back as I gave this woman,
my woman
, what she wanted.

A hard, rough fuck.

“Fuck, Ethan. More, I need it harder.” She screamed at me
as she slid a hand down to stroke her clit.

I grabbed her hand then took her other one and pinned them
above her head as I slid us both up the bonnet until she was flush under me,
her little body flattened between the wet metal of the bonnet and my hard frame
as the rain pooled around us and beat us ruthlessly.

I drove deeper into her as she screamed with a mix of pleasure
and pain and as I felt her tighten, her orgasm build, I stopped. Completely
halted all my movements but remained deep inside her.

“What the fuck, Ethan?” she hissed as she squirmed beneath
me trying to find some sort of friction to finish herself off but I released
more of my weight on her until she was completely deadened under me.

I waited silently for her to stop fighting before I
started moving again; slowly, tenderly and gently as I planted tiny little
kisses along her bare shoulder. “You are so beautiful, Jen. You’re everything,
baby. So god damned perfect.” I whispered along her hot wet skin.

I pulled out of her, flipped her over onto her back then
slid back into her warmth.

Her eyelids fluttered as her lower lip trembled and I
pulled it gently with my teeth as I locked her eyes with mine. “I love you,
baby. I love you. Fuck, I love you!” I near shouted at her as we both erupted
and disintegrated around each other.