Room 103 02 - Thrilling Heaven (18 page)

I had managed to stay alive for five days but I wasn’t
sure if I’d make it another ten minutes with what I needed to ask her.

“Jen” I appealed cautiously as I opened her bedroom door.
She mumbled a ‘what’ without looking up from her Kindle and I timidly took
another step into her space. “Baby, I… uhh, I can’t seem to… work the uhh, the
washing machine and I wondered if, uhh, if you could…”

I froze in terror as she slowly lifted her face to mine
and her narrow eyes scorched into me, crisping my eyelashes and retina’s as
they burnt straight through to the back of my skull. “Uhh, I…”

“You think because I’m female that I’ll do the laundry?”

I shook my head rapidly. “No, I’ll do it but I need you
to show me… how to… you know, which button to press and… where to put the
tablet thingamajig …”

She frightened me when she was having her monthly thingy.
Proper exorcist evil overtook her and I held on to the doorframe in case I
needed to make a bolt for it.

“Jesus Christ, Ethan. Are you always this stupid?” She
huffed as she pulled herself out of the armchair.

I nodded as I moved swiftly out of her way. “Yes,
generally, I am. Very stupid.”

She scoffed and nodded. “For once we agree.”

I followed her down the stairs, being behind her was
safer than in the lead where she could push me down the stairs, before she
stomped across the hallway and into the kitchen.

She sorted through the clothes, explaining how each item and
colour grouped together before she held up the squishy plastic coated contraption
that resembled a mini pillow, to demonstrate the procedure and I nodded to
verify I was taking it in. She placed it inside on top of the clothes and then
closed the door before she poured some of the yellow liquid into one of the
compartments in the drawer (I hope you’re remembering all this!) and then
pressed a button.

I beamed at her when the washer started spinning, “We did
it, baby.”

She closed her eyes as she swallowed harshly. “We did,
didn’t we!”

I wasn’t sure if she was being sarcastic but a slight
smile lit her eyes as I beamed even broader.

Time seemed to pause as her eyes found mine and we both
held on to each other without touching. We spoke volumes in silence as we
verbalized our feelings wordlessly and she asked for patience and courage
without requesting it.

“I’m so sorry, Jen” I whispered hoarsely.

“I know, Ethan but I can’t seem to…” she struggled with
her words, her throat clogging with emotion as her eyes died again.

She shook her head at me when I took a step towards her. I
needed to hold her; my body was literally humming with the extreme yearning to
soothe her misery. “Don’t…”

I stilled but nodded, my heart aching to touch her, just
a simple touch to reignite my spirit but I respected her wishes and retraced
the single step backwards.

She frowned as a question she was scared to voice flashed
across her face. “What?” I asked to encourage her. I wasn’t sure if I was going
to like the question but we were relating and it would hopefully be an issue that
might help clear the vast breach currently pulling us apart.

She turned to gaze out of the window, her tongue sweeping
across her plump lips to wet the dryness and I suppressed the groan and impulse
to retrace the trail with my own tongue.

“How much?” she whispered so quietly I nearly didn’t
catch it.

My blood froze as my heart skipped a beat when the matter
of her query felt like it had actually put physical hands around my throat and
squeezed.

I knew I had to tell her the truth but I also knew my
answer would widen the chasm between us.

“£25,000.”

She gasped and baulked. I swallowed back my own bile as
she paled and her fingernails sank into the flesh on her palms.

“Jen…”

She blew out a long breath, covered her mouth with her
hand and shot past me, flying up the stairs in her desperation to get to the
toilet ahead of her stomach emptying.

I just stood there like a damn fool, my whole body physically
aching at how much I had hurt her as I heard her loud retches and her soft
cries.

I wiped at the tear that slid down my face. If I was
honest, I was sick and tired of bloody crying like a pussy these previous few
weeks. I was turning into someone from
Eastenders
; always bloody
depressed and weepy.

I pulled a bottle of beer from the fridge and popped the
cap on the edge of the worktop ahead of downing the full lot, then replaced the
empty one with a full one and stepped out onto the terrace.

It was so peaceful and tranquil out here. The raised
decked platform hung over the edge of the cliff directly above the private
beach and I watched the waves crash up the sand and wash away the dead and old
debris, wishing life was so easy to cleanse.

I sighed heavily as I overheard Jen’s sobs from the open
bedroom window above me.

What the hell was I doing here? She would never learn to
love me again. Jesus, you can’t make someone love you. My abduction wouldn’t
bring back her affection. It wouldn’t make her feel differently towards what I
had done.

I remembered standing here near ten years ago now. Tears
streaming down my face, a bottle of whisky in my hand as I tossed pebbles over
the edge and into the sea as my broken heart followed their path.

And here I was again. The woman I loved miles from me,
not physically like last time, but mentally and emotionally.

I plonked onto the sun chair and leaned back. I squinted
at the sun then reached under the lounger and pulled out my sunglasses.

I stared up at the clouds and sighed. “If you are really
up there, then I just wanna… uhh, apologise for… well, you know what for, I
don’t have to voice it to
you
really do I. He hurt her badly and I love
her, that’s all I can really give you as an explanation. You know what he was
like. How much he abused her and how much he took from her. I know I won’t ever
get to meet you now, but I just wanted to… I don’t know what I wanted really,
but I thought I oughta… you know. I don’t really care what you do with me when…
it’s over, but Jen, please, help her through this. She’s broken and I dunno
what to do to fix her.”

I don’t know what I expected really as I peered around. A
sign from god, yeah right, Boss? More like I would be smited with a thunderbolt
for even talking to him or the hands of Satan would erupt from the ground and
pull me under.

I knew I was going to hell, but to be honest, it felt
like I was already there now I had lost Jen.

My stomach rumbled loudly as a delicious aroma filtered
into my senses and woke me.

I hadn’t realised I had fallen asleep but I must have
done because it was now dusk and I smiled softly at the picturesque sunset.

My belly grumbled again and my mouth watered.

Spanish? No, Italian and I grinned as I near fell off the
lounger in my effort to get to decent food for the first time all week.

I braced myself as I entered the danger zone, my hands
fisted by my sides and my head tilted slightly ready for the swift dodge it
might need.

“Hey.” I offered softly as I came into the kitchen.

Jen was stood grating some funny smelling cheese over the
salad she had prepared and I hoped the pungent stuff didn’t ruin what looked
like nectar after weeks of take-away.

“Hey” she returned with a small smile.

“You okay?” I asked apprehensively, concern fluttering my
stomach at her mood shift.

She didn’t speak but nodded and gestured to the table she
had set for our supper.

Something occurred to me then and I gazed at Jen with a slight
pucker in my brow. “You didn’t run.” I stated when I realised I hadn’t locked
her door before I fell asleep.

“Where would I go, Ethan? We’re miles from anything
resembling life. I was surprised to find the cupboards full.”

I shrugged at her. “Climbed on the roof with your bed
sheet tied to a pole as you waved your S.O.S.”

“And who the hell would save me out here?” she scoffed
lightly.

“There are some S.A.S seagulls that live on the cliffs
outside. Right mean little bastards, they hate me; shit on me frequently. I’m
sure they’ll help if you ask ‘em” I suggested with a slight smirk.

She glared at me but I caught the slight twitch of her
lips as she placed my plate of lasagne in front of me. “Wow, baby. Looks almost
as tasty as you.”

She rolled her lips and sighed but lifted a clump of
salad onto my plate before taking some for herself.

She looked at me from across the table through her long
eyelashes and I shifted at the slight pressure in my shorts. “So…” I smiled,
frantically trying for conversation to take my mind off the erotic images of
Jen’s tits smeared in creamy lasagne.

My god, I was randy. Who the hell pictured their lover
smeared with lasagne of all things? Chocolate, cream, even god damn syrup, but
lasagne?

She blew out a breath and smiled nicely… yes, nicely at
me.

Okay, now I was worried.

“Out with it!” I ordered softly as I prepared myself to
the onslaught.

“Well… I wondered if…” she stammered and I frowned at her
nerves. I nodded to encourage her to continue.

“Well, I thought it might be nice if… we could take a
walk down to the beach after we’ve eaten. I’m going a bit bat shit crazy here.”

I studied her face to spot any sign of sedition but she
seemed genuine enough so I smiled back at her. “Yeah, sounds good.”

She beamed at me then, a proper full on megawatt smile
and my heart flustered at it. She was fucking stunning, so god damn beautiful
that the bloody angels’ were jealous of her beauty.

Her white teeth were slightly crooked but that’s what
added to her perfection. Her soft nose sloped down and tilted at the end with a
slight twist to it, its tip crying out for mine to kiss it. Her plump pink lips
were the epitome of sumptuousness and sin and the birthmark that marked the
soft skin below her ear just made me hard… don’t ask! You know I’m strange.

Her body was just sex on order. Her curves made every man
drool. Her tight pert boobs made me vibrate; the soft roundness to her tummy
shouted out for my hands to sweep over and her curvaceous hips screamed ‘Grab
me whilst you plough me’. And her ass! Sweet Jesus, her arse… don’t even ask my
thoughts on that piece of kit; you would all be queuing around the corner to
slap me.

I know how all you women stick together!

“You remember the list, Jen?” I asked out of the blue.

Her lips lifted between chews as her eyes twinkled
brightly and I grinned at her. Pushing my chair back I grabbed my wallet from
the cupboard behind me and searched behind one of my credit cards for the tatty
eleven year old piece of paper.

“You kept it?” she gasped as I opened up the small square
of now yellowing paper, its edges torn and frayed from my frequent handling.

Giving her a faint nod, I placed it on the table in front
of her, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip as I watched her eyes pool.

JEN’S LIST OF DREAMS;

1: To kiss Ethan atop the Eiffel tower.

2: To swim with dolphins and sing to them with Ethan.

3: To make a million by the time we reach 25.

4: To marry Ethan, under the moonlight as the stars
twinkle and the wave’s crash under our toes.

5: To have two children; one boy called Travis and a
girl named Devon.

ETHAN’S LIST OF DREAMS;

1: To bang Jen atop the Eiffel tower.

2: To bang Jen whilst the dolphins watch and sing to
us.

3: To have been inside Jen a million times before we
reach 25.

4: To marry Jen, under the moonlight as the stars
twinkle and the wave’s crash under our toes. Then to bang the damn life out of
her under that same moon.

5: To have two kids as beautiful as their mom.

My eyes tracked the trickle of tears that trailed down
her cheek as her body shook with laughter.

“Oh my god, how different life looked when you were
sixteen. I can remember us writing that.” She giggled enchantingly, the sweet
sound electrifying each cell in my body.

“Me too, I can still feel each slap you gave me for each
dream I had.”

“Apart from the last one” she whispered as her sad eyes
found mine. “Never did fulfil them though, did we.”

I shrugged as I swallowed my disappointment. “We can
change the age to thirty five, baby. It’s just a simple alteration of a
number.”

She smiled sadly as she pushed her food around her plate.
“I’m sure you’ve made a million though” she joked. I could read her desperation
to lighten our conversation so I nodded humbly.

“Of course, I’d done that by twenty.”

She chuckled as she wiped her eyes with the back of her
hands.

“I don’t like the black hair, Jen. It makes you look a
biro when you wear that black dress of yours.”

Her feisty eyes shot up to mine but then she barked out a
gust of laughter, “A biro?”

“Yeah, your hair’s the lid…” I gestured with a sweep of
my hand as I took another mouthful of lasagne, “then a piece of skin, the
plastic casing; and then more black… the ink. A
bic
, a biro!”

She sucked in her lips but her eyes gave away her amusement
and I flashed her a wink. “Don’t worry, Ethan. It’s only temporary. It washes
out within six washes.”

I grinned in relief, “Good, you know I love your chestnut
waves.”

She gave me a soft smile; one I noticed reached her eyes
this time.

Was this the beginning of the road back? The start of our
petition to close the gap or was it the forming of a friendship and nothing
more?

Either way, it was a light ray of hope and I would grab
any morsel of compromise she threw at me.