Rough: Daunting Temptation (Coral Gables Series Book 1) (19 page)

I pull away and take a step back. "You're going to find someone else, someone you ... can give all you have to give," I say hoarsely and swallow hard.

"I want to give it all to you. My heart and soul, everything I have, damn it, Caramel."

"Go home and forget me, Delsin. Don't think of me. I'm going to try and forget you, too," I say with a cold determination that frightens me. I didn't know I could be this frigid and callous.

He shakes his head. "This cannot be over."

"Yes, it can," is all I say.

He pulls me close and presses his lips against mine. The kiss is neither tender nor rough, but desperate, as if he wanted to get me to stay with him. Unfortunately, I let it happen, I grant him this final kiss, return it even. My hands cup his cheeks, while his hold my neck and my back.

Delsin makes it last and his kiss becomes more passionate, but this is where it becomes too much for me. I pull away, even take a step back, out of his immediate reach, and he lets me go. "Forget me, Delsin."

Then I offer him a sad smile and turn around, intending to get into my car. Before I can fully open the door, however, he is standing close, pressing the door shut again. "Don't go," he pleads, despair rife in his voice.

"Delsin, please," I sigh.

He shakes his head. "You mustn't go."

"And why not?"

"Because I love you, Camille. You ... you're the first woman who made it into my heart in years."

"That isn't love, not yet, not so quickly," I object and try to open the car door.

"I need you, Caramel," he whispers.

I don't know what to say to that, so I remain silent and look over at Ave, who has been watching us from a distance. He points at Delsin, then down the road. A silent question, should I get him off your back? I nod at him and then look at Delsin one more time. "We can try to be friends. I promised you that we would be friends in case it didn't work out," I offer.

Delsin is crying. It is the first time that I see him like that, utterly sad and battered. It chokes me.

"This is crap. Why are you running away? Why are you throwing it all away, your studies, us, everything?"

I sigh. "Because this is who I am."

"This is not you. It's your fear, maybe. You are different. You are ambitious and ..." He shakes his head and lowers his eyes. His tears are dripping on the asphalt of the parking lot, when Ave approaches him. "Come on, man, let her go. It's better this way," he says softly.

"She hates me," Delsin says darkly.

"I don't hate you, Delsin ... I merely realized that we don't have a future. I wished you would accept this, too, and find a woman who can love you, unconditionally," I interfere.

"You could be that woman, but you don't want to," he says accusingly and takes a step towards me. Ave doesn't react quickly enough to stop him, but I am not afraid of Delsin. I know he isn't going to hurt me. He takes my face in his hands again and stares into my eyes. "You could," he murmurs against my lips, and then he presses his against them.

I let him kiss me, but this time I don't return it. I merely close my eyes and let it happen.

When he pulls away, he brushes his fingers across my cheek. "Goodbye, Caramel."

"Goodbye, Delsin."

Then he turns and walks away. I look at his back, feeling sad that I have rejected him so many times since I caught him kissing Cay.

Ave comes closer, presses a brief kiss against my temple and then pats my shoulder. "I guess I'd better follow him, lest he knocks someone down to vent his frustration."

I nod at him. "Okay." Then I finally get into my car. I wave at my friends before I steer the car out of the parking lot, and then I leave Coral Gables behind.

***

A sticky highway motel, three hours in a traffic jam and five cups of coffee later, I am close to home. Delsin has written countless text messages I haven't read. I'm going to need a few days to distance myself from him and from it all. The goodbye was tough and it hurt, but it was necessary for both of us, so we can return to our respective lives. Within minutes, I should reach the farm. I'm looking forward to being with mom and Buck, my stepdad.

I pass the spot where the accident happened, the spot where I saved the neighbors' kid. An uneasy feeling takes hold of me instantly, and I know this is something I'm going to have to shake off. At all costs. I have to live with the memory, and some day, I'll get over it, just as I'll get over Kieran, and also Delsin. It's going to take time, that's all.

After I have passed the spot, I can already see the driveway to mom's farm. I park a few yards before the turn and look at myself in the rearview mirror. I have covered the dark circles under my eyes with make-up, so she's not going to see those. Even though my mom can sense my emotions from a hundred miles away, I won't tell her about me and Delsin. At least not right now. I drive the last yards and see mom and Buck step out of the house. It is huge for a farm house, with several bedrooms. Originally, my parents had planned to turn it into a bed and breakfast, where guests could try their hand at working the fields or caring for the animals. By now, we don't own that many animals anymore. After the divorce, mom had to sell quite a few for want of financial means. It only got better when she met Buck.

I park the car and get out. I run towards my mom and throw my arms around her. "Hi, mom," I greet her happily.

"Hi, honey," she says and hugs me tight.

"I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you, too, baby, I've missed you, too." She kisses the crown of my head and then lets go of me. "You look so different, so grown-up," she smiles.

I press my lips together and turn to Buck. His mustache has grayed and he grins at me. "There's our little girl. What is the wide, wide world like?"

"Too wide, far too wide," I answer. "I'm so glad to be home again."

"Come here, honey." He pulls me into a tight embrace and lifts me up, which makes me laugh. When he sets me down again, he looks me up and down. "And now put on your boots quickly, or I will start to worry you've forgotten what a girl from Texas looks like."

"Aye, sir," I salute with a smirk. "But first I ought to take a shower and carry all my stuff into the house."

"Your mother was hoping you'd bring a wagonload of dirty laundry. She was missing that, doing your laundry," he teases my mom.

"Most of it is clean, actually, because I didn't want to cause too much work for mom," I counter and hop over to my car. I open the trunk and Buck stands next to me to help carry my suitcases. He pulls out both of them. "Steve can't wait to see you," he says softly.

"Me neither," I nod.

"But if you meet him like that, he won't recognize you," he teases me.

"That's why I'll put on my Texas gear so y'all recognize me for who I am, ma'am," I giggle.

Buck carries the two large suitcases into the house, while I fetch the smaller one from the backseat, as well as my handbag from the passenger seat.

Mom is standing behind me. "Didn't you want to bring along your boyfriend?"

I turn around and make a sad face.

"Oh dear. I won't ask further questions."

"Thank you, mom. When I'm ready, I'll tell you everything, okay?"

"Of course, baby," she smiles, puts an arm around my shoulder and leads me to the house. My suitcases are not in the hallway, so I assume Buck has carried them to my room.

"Does he live here now?" I ask.

"Yes. I was feeling rather lonely after you left, so he decided to move in," she explains.

"Do you have a date yet?"

"A date for what?"

"For your wedding, mom. He asked you ages ago, and I don't think he's going to want to wait forever," I chide her softly.

"Cami, I ... I don't want to get married again, and he knows that well enough. The divorce from your father has cost me lots of strength, and I don't want to have to go through this again."

We walk into the kitchen together and I sit down at the counter, which divides the kitchen and dining area. "But you and Buck have been a couple for so long now. He was there for you, whatever happened, all the important stuff, the difficult stuff, and he never showed signs of wanting to get out when things got rough. I don't think he's ever going to leave you for some city bitch. He loves you, mom."

She takes her home-made iced tea from the fridge and pours me a tall glass. "Maybe you are right," she says pensively.

"Of course I am right," I smile.

"And what about you and this boy? You sounded like you were very much in love, and that is supposed to be over only a few days later?" she suddenly corners me. That's my mom. First she agrees to give me time, and then she overruns me like that.

"Delsin really hurt me. It happened a few hours after you and I talked on the phone. Anyway, I ended it, because I sensed it would destroy me if I let it continue. And that ... is also the reason why ... I dropped out of college," I tell her, becoming quieter as I talk.

"You did what?" she asks, sounding upset.

"I dropped out of the Florida program. I want to continue my studies in Texas. That way, I'll be closer to you. You won't believe how badly homesick I have been."

She sighs. "Your father is not going to like this."

"I know, but do we need to tell him at all? He transfers the money to your account, and you send it to the college. He never paid any child support, so why shouldn't he keep paying tuition now? Plus, the University of Texas also has a department of science. I want to come home, mom. Florida was beautiful, and I liked being independent, but I was also very, very lonely."

"Even with Hailey and Thalia?" she wants to know.

"Yes. They were out with other people all the time. Don't get me wrong, they took me along if I wanted too, but I didn't feel comfortable with all this man-hunting going on. I wanted to focus on my studies, and not deal with love affairs most of the time," I explain.

Mom takes a deep breath and studies me with her warm, brown eyes. "Have you written to the college already?"

I nod. "Yes. They said they'd get back to me after processing my grades."

"And did you and Delsin break up properly, or did you simply run away?"

"We broke up properly. We even said goodbye afterwards, if that's anything to go by."

Mom rubs her eyes. "I hope you know what you're doing, Cami. I really hope so."

"I'm doing the right thing." At least that is what I keep telling myself.

She crosses her arms in front of her chest and shakes her head. "That is not what I mean. You dreamed of studying in Florida and finding true love. Now it seems you've had both and threw it away. Cami, I know I am only your mom and my advice may get on your nerves, but please take this one piece of advice to heart, will you?"

"Okay," I agree, making it sound like a question.

"Once you found love - and believe me, last week you sounded as if you had found the love of your life - you don't throw it away. This boy Delsin changed you. I can see it in the way you are sitting here, across from me, in the way you speak. And yet you have remained and will always be my little girl. You are downright radiant whenever you talk about the young man, even though he may have hurt you. Try to get all those things straight so you know you did not make a grave mistake," she says with an urgency in her voice that is unfamiliar to me. I've never heard her speak like that, so I am too surprised to answer.

"Or did you talk to him about it all?" she insists, tying up her light brown hair into a ponytail at the same time.

"More than once, I did, but not in detail I guess," I explain once I find my voice again.

Mom leans on the counter across from me and studies me. "And yet he was your first," she states.

"How do you know?" I ask, shocked. Granted, she got me there, but how on earth did she know?

"A mother notices things like that."

My eyebrow quirks up. "Which of the girls did you talk to?"

She sighs. "You and I simply cannot fool each other," she smiles. When my mom smiles, everything else is forgotten. She can fill any room with warmth. Of course her loving personality has a part in this, too, but every time she gives me that smile, I am reassured that things are going to be okay.

"I talked to Thally on the phone. She called me after this thing happened," my mother admits. "And I think you ought to believe him. He showed up that night to explain. He needn't have done that, and wouldn't have, if he didn't care so much about you. And I also know what a parting scene the two of you delivered, because Hailey told me. Cami, just call this boy and invite him here. Down here, there'll be none of his groupies, or those of his dad, who want to take him from you. Here, you are home and safe. So if this Delsin guy is getting on your nerves, you can tell Buck to kick his ass back to Miami, okay?"

I laugh a little. "I don't think Buck can kick quite so hard."

"What is it I can't kick hard enough?" the man asks as he enters the kitchen.

"Nothing, darling. Go sit down in the living room and watch TV, so Cami and I can continue our mother-daughter-conversation," my mom giggles.