Rounding Third (30 page)

Rob pulled away and again checked his
mother’s reaction and it was still all-approving. He smiled at her as he
slipped his arm around Josh’s waist. “Want to help with the tree?” 

“Sure,” Josh said. His eyes now shone with
the joy and color of the season as he grabbed a stack of ornament boxes and
handed them to Rob, then picked up the remainder to carry himself. 

“I want to have it all done by the time your
father gets home,” Rob’s mother beamed like a child on Christmas morning. 

The last note of the Bing Crosby Christmas CD
ended. Meg went to the stereo. “Johnny Mathis, or...” she flipped through the
stack of CDs, “Harry Connick, or...”

“Johnny is good,” their mother said. “Every
year I say this, but one of these years I have to get the Muppets one.” They
all looked at her and Josh laughed the loudest. “I know it is goofy, but I like
it,” she said. “And isn’t that what the season is all about--being a kid again
and enjoying yourself?”

They nodded and, with Johnny Mathis roasting
chestnuts on an open fire, finished trimming the tree.

           
*                     
*                     
*                     
*                     
*

“You have to leave me alone for bit,” Josh said when they got to
the mall. Rob was just glad Josh was willing to go shopping. It was his first
venture to a really public place since the disastrous dinner out months ago.
Rob was even more surprised that Josh wanted to be left on his own. Rob agreed
to meet him back in front of the Gap in an hour.

As soon as they
got home, Josh reached into one of the big shopping bags. “Here,” he said,
handing a gift-wrapped shirt-size box to Mrs. Wardell.  

“Oh, Josh, this is
so nice, thank you. I’ll put it under the tree. The first gift of the year.”

“No, you have to
open it now,” he insisted. 

“Okay,” she said,
taking the nearest chair and excitedly ripping into the wrapping. She pulled
off the box lid and was greeted with a sea of tissue paper. Sifting through it
she came up with a plastic CD case. Suddenly she shrieked. “The Muppets
Christmas!” she said almost hitting her husband in the face with it in her
haste to show it to him. “We have to put this on!”

“That’s why I
wanted you to have it now,” Josh beamed.

“Thank you, Josh,”
she said, leaping from the chair. She hugged him hard and then grabbed Rob to
join them. Meg and their father joined the team hug. 

Soon they were all
singing along to Miss Piggy’s part in the
Twelve Days of Christmas
. The
way they all camped up the da-dum-dums after the
five golden rings
had
them all giggling each time it came around. 

When the song was
over, she again hugged Josh tightly. “Thank you, that was so sweet.”

Rob bolted from
the group and ran upstairs.

The knock on his
bedroom door came softly and Rob waited, lying on his bed until it came again.
He wiped his eyes as quickly as he could, but knew his eyes would be red if he
opened the door. He asked through the closed door, “Yeah?”

“It’s me, Josh.”
Rob swallowed during the pause. “Can I come in?” Rob hesitated, but knew he
could never say no to anything Josh asked and slowly opened the door. “You’re
crying,” Josh said. “What’s wrong?”

“I...uh...”

“Are you unhappy
with me because I got your mom a gift? I guess I should’ve asked you, but I
thought...”

Rob pulled Josh
inside and closed the door, “We can’t keep this closed long. Don’t want them to
think anything is going on. You are so sweet to get that for my mom.”

“You’re not mad?”

“Not at all. I
think it’s great.” 

“But...” 

Rob hesitated,
then what he should say came to him and it wasn’t a total lie. “I was crying
because you were so happy. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you
that happy, sure you’re doing the right thing,
relaxed around my parents. It was great!”

“But?” Josh pushed
Rob away to look him in the eye.

“You never heard
of being so happy you cried?” Staring at Josh was making it harder to keep up
any pretense. The green eyes always cut like lasers into him.

“Not with you I
haven’t. I know you, Rob. You looked hurt. Did I do something wrong?”

Rob grabbed Josh
and hugged him close. “You could never do anything wrong.” 

“C’mere,” he said
taking Rob by the hand and pulling him to sit next to him on the bed. “I know
we can’t keep that door closed long, so I have to make this fast, but I think I
know. You realized what I realized a few days ago. That being without my family
during the holidays is going to be hard, and being the sensitive guy you are,
your heart is breaking.” Rob’s jaw dropped. “Is that it?” Josh asked. Rob could
but nod. “Don’t feel sorry for me...” Josh continued. Rob started to speak, but
Josh touched his fingers to Rob’s lips to stop him. “I’ve done enough of that.
I cried myself to sleep Thanksgiving night feeling sorry for myself. Poor
little Joshua thrown out. All alone. But Friday putting up the tree with your
mom and Megan, I realized something. I’m not alone. For the first time in my
life I’m really not alone. We never had family
moments like that. Christmas at our house was all preaching. We didn’t have
Santa and Rudolph and the Muppets. It would all take away from the story of the
Christ child. And God forbid that we might have
fun.
We had a tree, but
we decorated it following orders. Mat would always break something. I think he
did it deliberately just to piss my parents off, just to break the dullness.”

Josh was crying
now, but Rob didn’t see any sadness there. “I’m not saying I’m not going to
miss my brothers and sisters, and yeah, even my parents some. But I’m not going
to miss that lame ritual my parents go through ‘cause it’s Christmas. I’ll get
to see Mat, I’m sure, and I got a few little things for the other kids. Mat can
say they’re from him, but we’ll know.” Rob reached up to wipe a tear from the
scar on Josh’s cheek. “And mostly, Rob, I decided I’m going to have my best
Christmas ever. In a houseful of people who love me, and I love. And who would
never hurt me. You don’t know what it’s like to just go to bed knowing you are
not going to wake up with a fist in your face or a belt on your ass. Or being
screamed at or threatened, and half the time you’re not even sure why...”

“So you think I’m
a wuss for crying...”

Josh grabbed Rob
and kissed him hard. “I ought to slug you the way your sister does when you do stupid
shit. No, I don’t think it was lame to cry. I’m very touched that you care so
much for me that you’d feel my pain if you thought I was hurting.” Rob took his
hand from Josh’s face to wipe one of his own tears. “It seems weird to me to
use the word love, ‘cause I usually had it directed at me while I was being
hit. But, you have to know I do.”

“We ought to get
back downstairs, before they think something’s up.” Josh nodded and smiled. Rob
stood and opened the door. Josh started out, and Rob grabbed his arm. “You have
done wonders for my family. All this
closeness,
all the lovey-dovey stuff you see down there? A lot of that is because of you.
We hug all the time now. We didn’t that much before. And...” Josh looked at
Rob, puzzled and Rob went on, “We were never that close. I never really talked
to them that much. I talked to Meg some, but was too afraid to talk to anyone
for fear my big secret would slip out. Now that it’s out, I can talk. And
amazingly, they talk back. ‘Cause of you, I’ve talked to my parents about
things I never thought we’d talk about. You sort of made us come
together. And I never dreamed my mom would actually
encourage me to kiss you!” Josh smiled. “So, thank you, Joshua Lawrence
Schlagel. In your own sneaky way, you’ve
really
made us a family.” Josh was beaming now. “And another thing,” Rob checked to
make sure the hall was empty and planted a small kiss on Josh’s wet cheek, “I
love you. And I never doubted you love me.”

“C’mon,” Josh said
and dragged Rob toward the stairs. 

“You guys work out
whatever the problem was?” Rob’s dad asked when they reentered the living room.

“There was no
problem,” Rob said.

“None at all,”
Josh agreed, grinning with a tear-filled dimple.

Mr. Wardell looked
at his wife, but she shrugged.
 

“Everything is
great,” Rob said, his nose still twitching from crying.

Josh looked at Rob
and Rob could feel the love and warmth wash over him. “But not quite perfect,”
Josh said.

“It’s not?” Rob
asked, concerned.

“No. It’s not. We
missed the rest of the Muppets.”

“More Muppets!”
Meg yelled.

“Muppets! 
Muppets! Muppets!” everyone began chanting, except Mr. Wardell, who was too
busy laughing. 

“And we need
popcorn,” Rob said “Then it would be perfect.”

“It would be,” his
mom said as she threw herself on the couch forcing Josh to scrunch over against
her son. She put her arm around Josh and looked up at her husband, “Make some!”

“Anything else?”
he asked with mock offense.

“Uh, hot chocolate
would be good,” Josh said.
They all
looked at Josh. It occurred to Rob, and he wasn’t sure if it did to the other
members of the family, that it was the first time that Josh had ever asked for
anything or made any sort of demand upon the family. 

Apparently Mr.
Wardell did take note, because he offered none of the playful resistance he
would have if another member of the family had asked. Instead he said, “Hot
chocolate and popcorn, coming right up!” The rest of the family could hear his
voice carry from the kitchen as he sang along with Miss Piggy. 

             
41
 

After another below-freezing night selling
Christmas trees at Greiner’s, Rob and Josh were huddled under one blanket on
the couch in front of the fireplace drinking hot chocolate. They barely had
time to break their embrace at the sound of footsteps on the stairs when Mr.
Wardell appeared and they both greeted him in voices that gave away their
guilt.

    
“Your mom wanted a nightcap,” he said and headed for the kitchen.

    
The boys let out nervous giggles once he was out of the room. “I thought they
were in bed,” Rob whispered. His father reappeared and they both smiled
sheepish smiles again.

    
His dad put one foot on the bottom step then turned back. “It’s not as though
we don’t know you guys sneak into each other’s rooms after we’re in bed.”

    
Rob swallowed. “I, uh...I’m sorry, I just...”

    
“And it’s kind of hard to say we approve, but it’s not like one of you is going
to end up pregnant.”

    
“Are you saying it’s okay?”

    
“Not really okay, but it’s happening. And that porch never did get much heat
out there. Good night, you two,”

    
Rob looked up. “Thanks, dad.”

    
“Merry Christmas,” he said as he continued up the stairs without looking back.

         
*                     
*                     
*                     
*                     
*

    
Josh walked into the kitchen ahead of Rob. “Well, I guess that’s it for a few
months.”

    
“Yep, cleaning up and closing up Greiner’s the week after Christmas seems kind
of sad.”

    
“It’s not sad that we won’t be freezing our butts off any more.”

    
Rob leaned in to pin Josh against the kitchen counter. “The fun part of that
was warming your butt afterwards.” Rob kissed him but stopped suddenly when he heard
a stifled scream. He turned to see Mrs. Jackson fleeing the kitchen.

    
Rob walked into the living room where Mr. Wardell’s old college roommate, Dave
Jackson, and his wife along with Rob’s parents were reacting to the scream.

    
“What’s wrong?” Rob asked.

    
“You were kissing that boy!” Mrs. Jackson yelled. Josh walked into the living
room. “Him!” she said, as though pointing out her assailant to the police.

    
“This is my boyfriend, Josh,” Rob said, amazed that it was the first time he
had ever introduced Josh that way and that it sounded so simple and right.

    
“That’s disgusting!” she roared. She looked to her husband and then the
Wardells.

    
“Karen, calm down,” Mr. Wardell said.

    
“You knew this was going on under your roof?”

    
“Yes, of course.”

    
She looked at her husband and started for the door. He looked at the Wardells
then back to his wife, “You might want the car keys so you can keep warm out
there,” he said.

    
She turned. “You’re not coming?”

    
“We just got here. And Marilyn promised us lasagna. She’s not going to get out
of it that easy.” His attempted joke fell flat.