Authors: Walter G. Meyer
Rob reached out to put his hand on Josh’s
shoulder. He could see a meltdown coming.
“Why would he do that?” Mr. Hood asked.
Josh shook his head and looked at Rob instead
of Hood when he answered, “He’d rather have me dead and mutilated...he’d rather
kill me to the world than...”
Rob grabbed Josh as Josh crumbled into his
shoulder.
Looking
over Josh’s shoulder, Rob could see Hood slowly nodding as things fell into
place. Hood reached out and turned Josh from Rob and let Josh now have his body
for support. The baseball crowd gave them odd looks as the man tried to comfort
the boy. From inside the stadium, they could already hear the rhythmic thumping
of the drum.
“I’m so sorry,” Mr. Hood said. “I’ve known
your dad a long time. We worked together before you were born. He always could
be an ass, but since he found God he’s gotten much worse.”
“You don’t know the half of it.”
“They threw him out,” Rob said quietly, trying
to control his own tears. Two of them crying was already drawing enough stares.
“Josh, I’m so sorry. I guess he had to
explain your absence at family functions so they...”
As Hood hesitated, Josh finished the
sentence, “Killed me.”
“I don’t know what to say. I’m just so glad
you’re alive. Really, our family is going to be so happy. Katie was distraught
for months. I’d like to kick your father’s ass for putting us through that.”
Hood turned to Rob. “My daughter is a year older than Josh and has been in love
with him since even before they started school.” The man extended his hand,
“Hi, I’m Rob Hood.”
“Rob Wardell.”
They shook.
“You’re his...?” Hood searched for a word.
“Boyfriend...and brother,” Rob answered. “My
parents pretty much adopted him.”
“I’m glad he’s safe and taken care of. I’m
sure the shock will sink in later, but right now...” Hood again hugged Josh,
“I’m just so glad you’re okay.” He looked at Josh again. “Are you okay, Josh?”
“Yeah. Most of the time. They take good care of me.”
“Do you still have our number?”
“I don’t think I’ve had it at all since the move to Cleveland.”
Hood patted his pockets. Rob pulled out his cell phone. “What is it? I can put
it in here.”
Hood rattled off the number then said, “Call if you need anything. You’re still
family to us, Josh. I know Katie and her mother would love to see you. Would
you guys come to dinner?”
Rob looked at Josh, who was still in a daze as though he’d been struck in the
head. “We’ll give you a call,” Rob answered.
The opening notes of the National Anthem were now drifting out of the stadium.
“You guys should get going, you’ll miss the game,” Hood said. He again hugged
Josh with a force Rob thought might break ribs. He then turned and shook Rob’s
hand again. “Take good care of him. I sometimes feel like I’m his uncle, so I
want to know he’s in good hands. With the name Rob I know you have to be a good
guy.” With a final hug, Hood hurried off, putting his cell phone to his ear.
Rob looked at the devastated young man in front of him. It was as though he
really had been mangled in a motorcycle accident. “Do you want to go home?” Rob
asked as gently as possible.
“You paid all that money...”
“I did it because I love you and I want you to be happy. You won’t be happy at
the game. So if you want to go, we can go.” Josh pulled Rob to him and held him
tight. Rob was aware of more strange stares, but was past caring what anyone
thought. “We can go home,” he whispered in Josh’s ear.
He felt Josh’s head nod and they turned to walk away from the stadium as a
cheer went up from the crowd inside Progressive Field.
At the car, Josh opened the passenger door of his car then handed his keys to
Rob. “Will you drive?”
Rob went around and got in the driver’s side.
“They’re never going to stop ruining my life
are they?” Josh asked. “Every time I think I’ve accepted how things are, they
can still make it worse. And what sucks most is that they manage to ruin your
life, too. You plan this wonderful day, you get us tickets, and I think I might
just be able to be happy again...”
Rob grabbed Josh in a tight clinch and Josh
mumbled into his neck, “...how could he do this to the Hoods? They’ve almost
been family. I know it’s crazy, but as much as I hate them and after all
they’ve done to me, I still miss them. I can’t tell you how much it hurts to
know they killed me to everyone I know.”
“You’re right. I can’t imagine how that would
feel. All I can do is tell you that I love you. And you have a home.”
As they exited I-71 onto Route 303 Josh
looked at Rob. “Could you stop for a minute?”
“Sure. What’s up?” He pulled off onto the
wide dirt shoulder and stopped the car.
“I just don’t want Meg to see me like this. I
feel like I’ve let her down so much.”
“She understands. We all do.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t. Maybe you should tell
me to take my problems and my scared little faggot ass and get out.”
Rob grabbed Josh and turned him to face him
full on. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. Ever. You’re not leaving,
you’re not a faggot, and you have to stop thinking that way.” Josh recoiled as
though he had been slapped. “I’m sorry,” Rob said quietly. “I just hate to hear
you do that. You are still Meg’s hero. And my hero. Now let’s go home.”
Their entrance into the house where the
family was watching the game on TV caused puzzled stares, but Rob’s warning
look silenced any questions as he escorted his patient upstairs.
When Rob came downstairs later he was
surprised to see his father still in front of the TV with the volume low. His
dad immediately switched off the set and turned to face Rob.
“Still up?” Rob asked.
“Yeah, wanted to see how the game came out. Your mom and sister gave up and
went to bed.”
“Thanks, dad.”
“For what?”
“Staying up for me.”
“Are you okay, Rob?”
Rob shrugged. His dad motioned to the seat next to him. Rob said, “I came down
for a drink. I’ll be right back.”
Rob went to the kitchen, returned with a Gatorade and took the seat next to his
father. Rob sighed. “It just seems like so much work sometimes. Like it’s never
going to end.” His father nodded and Rob went on, “I know this is selfish, but
I just want to have fun again. It seems like everything is work now. I want to
be a kid again.”
His dad put his hand on his shoulder.
“You’ve grown up a lot in the past few months.”
“Sometimes I feel like it’s too much. Like I’m Josh’s father instead of his
boyfriend. Here to catch him after one crisis then another.”
“That’s an interesting description of parenting. But that’s kind of what it is.
You try to help your kids through each crisis, but at the same time try to help
them be strong enough to handle things themselves. At some point they have to
learn to fly on their own.”
“Your little bird leaving the nest.” Rob
smiled even though he could feel his already-drained eyes swelling up again.
“What you’ve done for Josh is amazing,
but at some point he’s going to have to make his own way in the world. That’s
not selfish. That’s life. I’m so proud of you and it’ll hurt a lot when you
leave for school next year, but it’d be selfish of me to want you to stay here
and stop growing and learning. At some point Josh will have to leave the nest,
too. You can’t always be there for him.”
Rob nodded and frowned.
43
All of Rob’s powers of persuasion could barely get Josh out of bed and there
was no way he could talk him into baseball practice. Josh was on the sun porch
watching TV when Hudson entered. “Get up, Schlagel,” Hudson ordered.
Josh looked up, but didn’t stand. “Okay, then I’ll come down to your level,”
Hudson said, spinning a chair in front of the television. “Do you have any idea
how many phone calls I made, how many strings I pulled to even get you tryouts
with these schools in Florida?”
Rob watched, leaning against the doorframe,
as Josh stared at Hudson. “You’re lucky to even have a shot after not playing
your senior year. Most schools wouldn’t even give you a tryout. Now, I’m sorry
all this happened, but you can either suck it up and get on with your life or
just sit here and wallow in self-pity, but don’t try to drag Wardell down with
you. Even if you can’t see your future, he’s got one.”
Josh looked over at Rob. Then Hudson did.
Apparently Hudson hadn’t known Rob was there. There was a question in Josh’s
eyes. Rob answered it, “I want what is best for you, Josh. You have to know that
by now. Even though it means losing you for a while, this is the best thing.
You can’t live the rest of your life on this porch. I’m not staying here. My
parents are going to sell the house as soon as Meg graduates. You need to get a
life. We both know it’s a long shot that you’ll make the pros, but it can at
least pay for college. Please. Grab your mitt and let’s go throw a few.”
Josh got up, grabbed his hat and glove, but
said nothing. Rob had no great hopes for it being a very good practice.
The next day’s practice wasn’t much better
and Hudson was having a practice with the team so Rob was on his own. Rob knew
Hudson had lots of extra work to do given the lack of experience among the
players he had this year. Between school, the team and coaching Josh on the
side, Rob wondered if Hudson ever saw his children.
Rob had his hands full just with Josh. After yet another sloppy pitch that was
way too high for him to even try to jump for, Rob pulled off the mask and stood
up. “I’m not chasing those. You can run around and gather them up.” Rob pointed
to the collection of balls that had accumulated in the net behind the garage.
Rob had built a pitcher’s mound and laid down a home plate sixty feet, six
inches away, using the back of the garage, strung with a net as the backstop.
His dad had helped so it would be finished in time to surprise Josh when he got
home from work one day. Rob still marveled at how well he got along with his
dad now and that they could really talk.
“If you don’t want to practice today, that’s fine,” Josh said and started to
walk toward the house.
“Where are you going?”
“You said you wanted to quit.”
“No, you said
you
wanted to quit,” Rob corrected. “Do you think I like
sweating my ass off, having my hand hurt so bad at the end of the day I have to
stick it in ice before I can do my homework?” Josh couldn’t hold Rob’s eyes any
longer and stared out at the cornfield. “Now, if you’re willing to work, I am,
but if you’re not I’ve got other things to do.”
Josh studied the tiny green stalks. “I guess not. Why bother?”
Rob walked toward the mound. “What do you mean, ‘why bother?’”
“What’s the point?”
“The point is to get you to practice so you can ace a tryout and get into a
decent college.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Do you think I’m doing this for me? Yes, it’s what I want. And I want you to
start caring about something again.”
“Why? If I do, they’ll just find a way to ruin it.”
“Is that what this is about? You’re the only one who can ruin this. I’m willing
to do the work, Hudson’s willing to do the work, but we can only do so much.
You have to pitch. And if you do, no one can take that away from you. You can
call your own shots; make your own decisions.”
Josh looked down at his friend, then back at the corn.
“You
really think some college would want me?”
“Would I be sweating to death in this stupid outfit if I didn’t?” Josh turned
back to face Rob. “I’m going to get the balls, I’m going to throw them to you
and then you’re going to pitch them to me. PITCH THEM. Not give them a
half-assed toss over my head. Are you ready to work?”
Josh gave a slight nod and Rob trotted back to home plate. Rob threw the balls
to Josh then crouched down. He held up a hand to stop Josh from pitching and
stood back up. “Every wild pitch or pitch you don’t bother to put anything on
will mean a lap to the cemetery and back.”
“How will you know if I go all the way?”
“Cause I’ll do them with you to make sure you really run. I can still run rings
around you, Schlagel, but I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”