RUIN (The RUIN Series Book 1) (7 page)

"You have a secret." Alexa pulls on my ponytail from behind.

I almost choke on the mouthful of wine I'm trying to swallow. "What secret?" It's not a random question. When it comes to secrets, I'm hiding more than one.

"You're seeing someone, aren't you?"

"Seeing as in dating?" Nice stall tactic, Kayla. You really expect that's going to work?

She scowls as she takes a seat beside me on the weathered couch in my apartment. "Call it whatever you like. There's a man in your life."

"Why would you ask me that?" I try to level my voice. I haven't seen Ben since the diner but that means little in the big picture. I'm still sorting through my feelings. I'm debating whether or not to talk to Noah. I feel torn between my friendship to him and Lex and my attraction to Ben.

"There's a man's tie hanging from the towel rack in your bathroom." She tosses her head towards the hallway. "It's expensive too."

"How do you know if it's expensive," I scoff in an overly exaggerated attempt to change the subject. I knew that tie was there. I liked having it there as a reminder of Ben. Now it's pushing me into a corner.

"Noah just bought a new suit." She taps her hand on my thigh. "It was expensive. I saw that exact tie at the store. Noah almost bought it."

"Noah in a suit?" I struggle to conjure up that image. "He's not a suit kind of guy, is he?"

"He's a handsome kind of guy," she counters. "I like when he dresses up if we go out for dinner."

"Makes sense." I breathe a sigh of relief. If I can keep her on the subject of her fiancé, I'll keep her off the subject of the twin brother of her fiancé.

"It was nice to see him spend some money on himself." She takes a large drink from her wineglass. "He's going to get a tux for the wedding."

I smile at the joy in her voice when she talks about her wedding. "It's coming up soon."

"We're signing a pre nup next week."

"You're signing a pre nup?" It's not that surprising given how successful Noah is. He used to sell the nude photographs he took of women for tens of thousands of dollars. That has to add up quickly.

"It was my idea." She shrugs her shoulders. "He's worth a lot of money."

"He sold a lot of photographs back in the day," I tease. We don't talk about Noah's former career much anymore. It's never been a sore spot for Alexa. She posed for him too at one point.

"He got a huge inheritance when he turned twenty-five." Her words are slightly slurred. "It was from when his mother died."

I know more about that event than I should. "I guess a pre nup is a good idea then." I can't think of anything else to say.

"Do you want to know something?" She swallows the last bit of wine that had settled at the bottom of the glass. "It's about his brother."

Hell, yes, I want to know.

I nod only slightly.

"I think Noah hates him because of that money." She runs her finger along the edge of the glass. "He got some money too."

"Why would you think that?"

"I heard him talking to Ron about it on the phone." She's whispering so loud that I'm certain anyone passing by on the street would hear every single word she's said.

I had wondered how Ben could afford his apartment and wardrobe on an ER doctor's salary. "Sometimes money makes people crazy." I spin my finger in the air. "I'm sure their problems go deeper than that."

"I don’t know about that." She starts to stand before falling back into the soft cushion of the couch. "Noah hates Ben. If it's not the money it has to be a woman."

It is a woman. It's the woman who gave them life. The very same woman whose death pulled them apart for good.

"Get the fuck in here." He pulls on my hand sending me flying into his apartment. I hear the door slam shut behind me.

"Ben," I mutter his name in a heated rush before his lips bear down on mine. "I…Ben…" I try to form the words through his kiss but he's too aggressive.

"I've been thinking about you for days." His hands are pulling on the tie of my wraparound dress, tangling me up in it. "I'm going to rip this fucking thing off your body."

I take a step back as much to save my dress as to calm my breath. "I'll take it off."

His eyes are glued to my hands as he strips off his own clothes, throwing them onto the floor in a pile.

"Look how hard you make me." His hand runs fast over his thick, erect cock. "I need to be inside that sweet cunt of yours now."

The words fill me with an instant hunger that I can't quench. I've tried to wean myself off of him by touching myself in my bed. I thought that would quiet the desperate need I've been feeling. I want him so much. I can't keep denying it. I don’t want to deny it. I want to own it and embrace it. When he called to tell me to come over, I hadn't hesitated at all. My need for him is primal and unending.

I pull my panties down and stand before him, completely naked and exposed. I'm not shy. I've never been one to hide my body beneath a sheet out of fear that my lover will find fault. I've never complained about the size of my breasts or the width of my hips. I love my body. He loves my body. I see it in his eyes and I feel it when he's making love to me.

"Goddamn, Kayla." He narrows the space between us with easy strides. His hands wrap around my sides, pulling me into him. His cock rests against my thigh, heavy, warm and eager.

I moan as he picks me up, pulling my legs around him. I cry out when he clears the desk near the door with one swoop of his hand and lowers my body onto it and I whimper as I watch him cloak his beautiful cock with a condom.

"I need you, Kayla." His breath whispers over my lips. "I've needed you since that first night."

I cling tightly to him as he enters me completely, his cock pushing me to my limits, stretching me wide with a bite of pain that touches my core. "Ben, yes," I moan into his mouth. "Fuck me."

He pulls my ass to the edge of the desk as he sits me up, our bodies still connected. "Look at me, Kayla. Look at me."

I open my eyes. His face is so beautiful. It's so perfect and kind. I stare into his eyes with my own as he fucks me with slow, easy, graceful strokes.

***

"If you tell them about me, I'll lose you." His voice pierces through the darkness in the room.

I shake myself awake. I'd drifted off after he'd carried me to his bed and fucked me again. "That won't happen," I whisper into the empty space before me.

His hands pull me closer so my back is resting against his chest. "It will. Noah won't let her talk to you anymore."

The concept is foreign. Noah wouldn't demand anything that restricting of Lex. Our relationship is close, too close for a brotherly feud to tear it apart. "Alexa would never stop talking to me."

"He'll fill her head with lies about me." His voice is shaky and uncertain.

I try to flip over. I want to look at him when he tells me this. These people are the core of my inner circle. They are my New York family. I need them as much as I need air to breathe. I can't lose Alexa. I won't.

"Alexa is smarter than that," I say with every effort to sound convincing. "She won't break off our friendship over this."

"We should see where this goes before you tell her."

I know the words shouldn't burst open my heart the way they do. This is new and it's natural to have doubts. He's older than I am. He's wiser. Maybe when a person turns thirty they realize that banking on an undeniable connection is foolish and impulsive. I'm not thirty-years-old. He is. I want to fall into the well of promise. I want to revel in the idea that this has a future beyond a few more months of incredible sex.

"Or I could tell her and then we could see where it goes," I counter. Two can play wicked mind games, Dr. Foster.

"He blames me for our mother's death." His voice is dark. "That's never going to change, Kayla."

"You don't know that." I push his hands lower wanting to feel his fingers rush through my folds. "You can't predict that." I don't want to talk about Noah. I can't think about Alexa. All I want is Ben.

He gives in to my silent demands as his finger finds my clit. "I know that I'm not going to give this up for anything."

I spread my legs brazenly, kicking the covers off of us. I reach down to cover his hand with my own. "You don’t have to give this up."

He pushes a finger into me, luxuriously pulling the dampness from my channel before gliding it back over my clitoris. "You're mine. Noah can't take you away from me. No one can."

"No one can." I arch my back to give him more access. "No one will."

"I saw you with him."

I know his voice before I turn to look at him. It's Noah.

"When?" It's not as though the details matter. I can hear the disappointment in his voice. There's no denying the anger that is sprinkled through his words. He's pissed.

"Yesterday." I sense movement behind me. "You were leaving his apartment and he kissed you in front of the building."

My focus was solely on Ben in that moment. He was hailing me a cab, sending me back home after he'd licked me to orgasm one last time. I'd felt treasured in that moment. He'd leaned down before shutting the taxi door to tell me he'd miss me.

"Why were you there?" I turn now to look at him. He's standing less than a foot away from me in a crowded bakery. "Why are you here now?"

"Alexa told me about the tie."

"What tie?" I take a step back. "I don’t know what you're talking about."

"His tie was in your apartment."

The tie. That fucking tie that she saw in my bathroom. "It was just a tie, Noah."

He moves closer to me, his hand jumping to my elbow. "I went to buy a suit because Alexa asked me to."

"Yes," I say because there's nothing else to offer as he steers me through the crowd and onto the street.

We finally stop near the edge of the building. The pedestrian traffic is moving quickly just a few feet away from us.

"I wanted that tie until the sales woman told me that they'd only sold one like that." His eyes bore into me. "She thought it was amusing that it was sold to another Mr. Foster. Actually, she said Dr. Foster bought it."

You've got to be shitting me. I'm busted because of a goddamn necktie?

"You had no right to follow me to his place, Noah." I know the words sound petulant and spiteful. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

"Alexa loves you." He taps his hand on my shoulder. "You're like a sister to her."

I don't feel the guilt that is implied within the words. Why should I? "Alexa gets to love you, why can't I…"I stop myself. I don't love Ben. I'm crazy in like with Ben. "Why can't I be with Ben?"

"He's a no good piece of lying shit," he hisses each word slowly over his tongue. "He's not who you think he is."

"Maybe he's not who you think he is." I push my finger into his hard chest. "Maybe you just can't get over losing your mother."

He takes a step back as his hand reaches to the brick façade of the building. I hear him curse beneath his breath. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I do." I take a step closer to him. I'm the one on the offense now. He doesn’t get to dictate my life to me. That's not how this works.

His eyes search my face. "What did he tell you?"

It's common knowledge. It's not as though I'll be betraying Ben in any way if I repeat what he told me. "He said you and your father blame him for your mother's death."

"He actually told you that?" He doesn't hesitate as he barks the words at me. "I can't believe he told you that."

I stare at him. I can't gauge whether Noah's reaction is strictly based in the emotional void that he's felt since losing his mom or if he's harboring more resentment towards Ben than he's letting me see. "Noah," I say his name softly. "Ben told me he was with someone the day your mom died. He told me he was supposed to be watching her."

His brow furrows as he digests my words. "Say that again." He leans forward craning his ear towards me.

"Ben told me that he was in the guest house with a woman while you and Ron were out."

His hand flies in the air in a circular motion. "Go on."

I blow a heavy puff of air out between my lips. "He said that she died and he didn't know until you both came home."

His chin tilts down as his hand scrubs over his forehead. I've seen Ben do the very same thing. "That's what Ben told you?"

I nod slowly looking for confirmation of the story in Noah's eyes. I find nothing but a blank stare.

"Do you trust me, Kayla?"

It's not a fair question. If he asked me at any other moment in time I'd tell him absolutely without hesitation. Noah is an extension of Alexa in my eyes. I can count on him. I know he wants the best for me. The only problem is that in this instance, he can't see things clearly. His resentment and hatred for his brother is clouding his judgement.

"It's not that simple, Noah."

"It's a very simple question." He taps his fingers against the brick. "You are an incredibly important person to the woman I love. She needs you. She counts on you. I can't let anything happen to you."

I scratch the back of my ear. "Nothing bad is going to happen to me, Noah."

"He will hurt you." His voice is calm and controlled. "He will damage you in ways you can't even imagine. You are nothing to him. Nothing."

I lean back into the wall for balance. "Ben is a good person. He's a doctor."

He shakes his head slightly. "You think that makes him a saint?"

"No," I say briskly. "I'm not naïve, Noah. You're making me feel like an idiot."

"He didn’t tell you everything about the day she died. I doubt he's told you everything about his life." The words bite into me deeply. He's making me feel silly and foolish for falling into bed with Ben.

"I'm not marrying him, Noah," I offer as a reprieve. "I'm just having fun with him."

He throws his head back in frustration. "I am trying desperately to protect you. Why can't you see that?"

"You are angry with him because your mother died." I reach for his forearm. "That doesn't make him a bad person."

"I am angry with him because he has fucked over every single person who was close to him, including me." His free hand jumps to cover mine. "He uses people as if they are nothing. He takes what he can from them and then throws them away like trash."

I shake my head. "That's wrong."

"It's right." He squeezes my hand harder. "He's a master at manipulating people. He tried to ruin my life. "

"How?" I shoot the question out without realizing how much desperation is attached to it.

He scrubs his hand over his face. "I can't talk to you about this, Kayla. I need to talk to Alexa first. It will kill her inside if she knows I'm sharing stuff about Ben with you and not her."

Normally, I'd take that as a weak excuse for wanting to hold his secrets close to him, but this is Noah Foster. Alexa is his life and I know that he honors her in a way few men honor the women they adore.

"What am I supposed to do?" I ask genuinely. I feel completely conflicted inside. I have nothing concrete to dissuade me from Ben's confessions about the day his mother died. All I have to contradict that are some loosely disguised accusations that have come from my best friend's boyfriend.

"Stay away from him." He pushes on my hand. "I'm going home right not to tell Alexa everything about Ben. Then you'll come over and the three of us will talk about this together."

I nod. It's not in agreement. I want to know what happened in the past that has convinced Noah that Ben is the second coming of evil. I want to hear it from Ben. I need to talk to him now.

"Promise me you'll stay away from him."

That's not a promise I can keep. "I want to know what's really going on, Noah."

"You will." He reaches forward to graze his lips across my cheek. "I should have told Alexa about all this months ago. I'll talk to her and then we'll talk again."

I sigh deeply as he turns and heads down the street.