Running Home (3 page)

“I noticed
her take off with Joey earlier tonight.” Mack shrugged his shoulders as he took another gulp of his beer.

“Fuck
,” I quietly cursed as I headed over to where the cars were parked.

“Carmen
!” I yelled, as I wandered through the cars still left out in the pit. I should have kept a better eye on her tonight the last time I remember seeing her; she was filling up her cup and wandered over to where some of the wrestling guys were hanging out.

I kick
ed someone’s tire when I realized she wasn’t over here. “This is great,” I muttered to myself as I meandered over to the Bronco.

Th
is wasn’t the first time she had disappeared on me during a party. Hell, it wasn’t like she normally stayed around anyway. Unfortunately, she didn’t have the greatest reputation on keeping her legs closed. Why she felt the need to sleep with everyone in this town, I would never know. Maybe I should be asking the question on why I wanted to sleep with her again, knowing the guys she let crawl between her gorgeous legs. I noticed someone curled up on the hood of the truck. Getting closer, I realized it was a passed out Carmen. Well, at least I knew where she was at now.

“Carmen, wake up
,” I gently shook her to see if I could get a rise out of the almost corpse like body.

“No more beer
,” she slurred, while trying to lift her head up from the cold steel.

“I do believe
you’re smashed, my dear.” I pull on her legs to slide her down closer to me, so I could grab her drunken self and haul her ass into the cab.

“I don’t
want to have sex with you, Eric. You’re not even that good anyway,” she grumbled as I lifted her gently into my arms.

“Don’t worry
, Carmen; no one is getting into your pants tonight.”

A small grunt came from her full lips as she dropped
her head on to my shoulder. I carefully slid her into the passenger side, and brushed the hair away from her face. I knew she was completely smashed tonight, because I could smell the alcohol seeping out of her pores, looking for an escape from her body. Yet, even with all this drunken haze, she was still the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes upon. Carmen groaned as I buckled the seatbelt over her lap. Shit she was going to puke.

Quickly
, I grabbed her shoulders and leaned her out of the truck, just in time to take a small step back as the contents of her stomach spilled all over the ground. Grabbing her long hair, I held it back as she expelled everything possible in her system. Closing my eyes, I leaned into the door, waiting for her to finish her Linda Blair impersonation. As gross as this situation was, I prayed it wouldn’t be the last time I got to take care of her; I didn’t want to say goodbye, ever.

“Walker?” a weak voiced called for me.

“I’m right here, Carmen,” I said in a reassuring voice.

“I love you.”

“I know, Carmen, I love you too.” I just wished she loved me in the same way I loved her.

My eyes quickly scan
ned the crowd, searching for my best friend. The small gymnasium was filled to capacity with every single person in this town, including a couple dogs, and I’m pretty sure I saw a sheep brought in by Old Lady Beth. “Congratulations!” people praised as I pushed through the crowd, desperate to find Carmen in the mass chaos.

“Thanks
,” I muttered, over and over, while politely smiling, using my height advantage to look over the heads in the gym. I spotted Mr. and Mrs. Montgomery over by the old bleachers talking with another couple as I skillfully pushed my way through the mob.

“Congratulations
, Son; we are so proud of you!” Mr. Montgomery beamed as he extended his hand for me to shake.

I quickly ga
ve him a shake and a light hug to Mrs. Montgomery as I glanced around them for Carmen. “Thanks, Sir. Have you seen Carmen?” I asked.

“Oh
, sweetie, she darted out of here right after you all threw the caps. She came and gave me a kiss, then said she would see me later.” Mrs. Montgomery smiled as she wiped off the lipstick on my cheek from one of many kisses I’d received tonight.

“Do you know which way she went
?” I asked franticly.

She co
uldn’t possibly be leaving now I know she wanted out of this town but I figured it would be a couple days before she actually left.

“Don’t you let her spoil your day now
, you hear me, Walker?” she scolded as I started to wander to the door.

I didn’t even give her a reply. I know my momma would have backhanded me for not responding to my elders, but I had to find Carmen, before she did something stupid.

I flew
down the old gravel driveway of her farm house, praying the entire time since I’d gotten into the truck that she was at home. Throwing the Bronco into park, I stumbled out of the door even before the dust settled, sprinting for the front door. “Carmen?” I yelled, as I ran down the small hallway to her bedroom. Stopping just inside the doorway, I rapidly take a mental inventory of the belongings still in her room. It didn’t look like anything had been taken as I peered into her closet, still full with clothing.  I gradually released the breath I was holding as I started to walk out the door, stopping to glance at a picture hanging in the hallway. It was of Carmen when she first arrived in town, smiling from ear to ear, sitting on the porch swing with her grandma. If I could only bring back those happy memories from way back then, I might just be able to get her to stay.

Driving back toward
town, I racked my brain on where in the world Carmen could be. I started to turn off back to the high school, when I noticed a figure walking down the highway, headed out of town. I narrowed my eyes to try and get a better look when the subject glanced back, tossing long brown hair over her shoulder. My mouth dropped open as the girl held her thumb out to a passing semi, letting her backpack swing off her right shoulder.

My heart started
to race as the semi started to slow down to pick her up. I jerked the Bronco over and scrambled out of the truck, trying to keep my eyes on Carmen. I watched the passenger door to the semi swing open as she started to jog to the waiting tanker.

“
Carmen ,stop, what are you doing?” I screamed and broke into a run alongside the highway. She pulled herself up on the railings and glanced back at me; using her freehand, she blew me a kiss and disappeared into the cab. The door shut and the truck slowly started to pull away. My legs could no longer carry me any further and I crashed into the hard ground. My black slacks instantly turned brown as the ground claimed my body. Tears rolled down my face, as I watched the truck move on into the distance. She did it. Carmen just walked out of my life……… forever.

“Shakin’ Hands” Nickleback

Carmen, August 2008

The heat from the sun was almost unbearable today, and knowing I still had another two hours, standing out here, waving this stupid sign, was just about more than I could take. “Come check out the girls!” I smiled and yelled nothing like advertising for a strip club to bring home the bacon.

Shit,
at least I didn’t have to take my clothes off, and, in reality, these booty shorts covered more than my bikinis anyway. It always amazed me at the sheer volume of people in LA. I mean, trying to find a place to stay when I first moved here was like a girl in a porno without a boob job; the possibilities of it were slim to none. I’m thankful I have a job and a small studio apartment, even if there are four of us sharing it. Yep, I am living the life here, beats the old dusty roads of home any day.

“Hey
, Carmen, are you heading in to work tonight?” my roommate Jessie yelled from the bathroom.

“Nope, I have an audition tonight
.” I poked my head around the corner to check out her outfit.

“What’s it for?”

“A music video I think; nothing too big.” I shrugged my shoulders and grabbed a tube of mascara off the counter. “Is that a new outfit?” I asked, commenting on the see through blue lacy mini dress Jessie had on.

“You like? I think it’s going to be easy twirlin
g on the pole with,” she exclaimed, while rotating around to show off the goods.

“Totally;
a great new money maker!” All three of my roommates worked as dancers for the club I served at.

“Good luck t
onight,” Jessie said, as she slipped out of her dress and into street clothes. Grabbing my keys and bag, I turned and flashed a smile at her. I had high hopes for this video. This was going to be the break I had been working so hard for; shaking my ass for leftover tips was going to pay off eventually.

“Next group
,” a lady standing at the door with a clipboard yelled into the hallway. I peeled off my t-shirt and stuffed it in my bag, smiling at the woman standing in front of me as we filed in, like a herd of cattle, to the small room.

“Ladies, when the music starts I want you to dance, got it?” a younge
r guy said from behind a coffee cup.

We all spread out and stood
their awkwardly, waiting for the music to start. This wasn’t my first time at one of these meat markets, but it always made you nervous to shake what your momma gave you in a room full of people judging your appearance. I had nothing to be scared of; I knew I had something special, and that I didn’t fall out of the ugly tree. I turned heads wherever I went. Even in this big city full of surgically enhanced beauties, I was something to look at.

The music clicked
on, and I let my body move, swinging my hips and shaking my ass to the beat. Watching the girls in the club, night after night, gave me great material to work with. Yeah most of them did it without clothes, but if I booked this video, I doubt I would have much on anyway. Rockers tended to like women in very little clothing, with a full face of makeup. I learned that cage dancing for a Kid Rock concert a couple months ago. Nothing like wearing a black studded bikini top and booty shorts in front of thousands of people to give yourself a boost of confidence. I had the package; just needed someone to take a chance on me to prove it true.

Glancing over at the table
, I noticed none of them were watching me.
Fuck
. I’ve got to pull out the big guns, I thought to myself. I made my way to the front of the group and did a little twirking action; tossing my hair back as I licked my lips suggestively at the director. A little sex appeal did wonders in these kinds of auditions. It was never about the talent in these auditions, as long as you looked hot, and could somewhat shake your ass, you were hired. It all depended on what the casting director liked that day; and I hoped today called for tall, tanned, and dark haired beauties.

The music
continued to play as I tried my hardest to keep the attention of casting agents, pulling out every trick I knew; plus some of the ones I’ve seen the girls do at the club. “Thanks ladies,” the woman with the clipboard said, as she motioned to cut the music.

“Number
s seventy-six and eighty-one, please stay for call backs. The rest of you can go,” the guy with the coffee cup mentioned. I quickly glanced down at my number, because, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember what mine was.

“That’s not y
ou sweetheart,” the lady laughed while pointing to the door. Nodding my head, I grabbed my bag and made a quick retreat. Guess I wasn’t the flavor of the day. Audition one-hundred and three, and still no job. With my luck, I would end up stripping just to survive out here.

“Can I get you
something to drink?” I asked the gentleman sitting at a table furthest away from the main stage.

He licked his lips
, and leaned back in the chair. Why is it that such sleazy men frequented this place? Oh, I know, it’s a fucking strip club. We are like Disneyland for perverts; complete with rides in the back for the wholesome price of twenty dollars.

“Why aren’t you up there
, Sugar? Looking at these girls all night, I’m sure you are the hottest thing in this place,” the man slurred, with a nasty smile plastered across his face.

“Well
, then who would serve the drinks?” I managed to spit out in my trademark sugary sweet voice, all the while trying to not gag on the sewage coming from his mouth. The gentleman pulled a twenty from the front of his shirt pocket, and let it fall to the floor.

“I need another Jack and C
oke, Sweetheart; the rest is for you.”

I know what he was
looking for; he wants me to bend down in my micro mini skirt so he could get a peek at my girly bits. Shit, I’ve been working here for almost a year. This was not the first time someone had done this little stunt, and sure as hell wouldn’t be the last. I placed my drink tray on the little table, and leaned over to pick up the bill, careful enough to not let the nasty man get any viewing pleasure.

“Oh
, come on, Baby, won’t you give daddy a sneak peak?” the slime ball slurs. Flashing him a smile, I quickly grabbed the tray and headed over to the bar. Seriously, these men need some new material; I’ve heard it all one too many times to actually fall for their shit.

“Hey
, Eric, I need a Jack and Coke, please,” I said, sliding the twenty across the servers well at the bar.

“Sure thing Carmen
.” He smiled while grabbing a glass and mixing the drink. “Slow night?”

“Yeah;
no shortage of douche bags, though,” I replied, while rolling my eyes at the men leering at Diamond on the stage.

I watch
ed as Diamond crawled up the pole and started to spin; making it look like it was the easiest thing in the whole world. Shit, I tried to just twirl around that pole upside down the other day, and about sent myself to the hospital. Not like I would have gone strip clubs don’t normally offer health insurance, and that would have been one more bill to add to the pile of: ‘I don’t make enough to pay you ,let alone eat’ stash.

“Earth to Carmen, you
r drink is ready,” Eric exclaimed, as I instantly brought myself back from the world of pole dancing my mind was entertaining.

“Thanks, B
uddy,” I mentioned, grabbing the drink and heading back to slime ball number one tonight.

“Here’s your drink
.” I smiled. and set the glass down.

“What are your p
lans tonight, Sugar?” he mentioned as he took a sip of the liquid.

“Working
,” I threw over my shoulder, while sauntering away. I have not taken a man home from this place, and won’t start with this one. I shudder, thinking of the possible diseases he could be carrying nothing like the case of the clap to make you want to burn off your genitals in prevention.

“Don’t blow daddy off like that
, Baby; I’m a fun time.”

Stopping dead in my tracks I whirl
ed around to face the offender. “Please, you call everyone in here Baby, Sugar, Momma, Sweetheart, Hottie, Boo, Doll Face, Darling, and the list would just go on. You’re not my daddy. Hell, I haven’t seen him since I was eight. So go throw the one’s you’ve saved up this entire week from your mediocre job at the girls on stage, who want the attention. I, sir, do not. However thanks for the tip.”

Quickly
, I headed for the back door for the stage. I was betting to get my ass chewed out for talking to him like that, but I’d had about enough ‘Babies’ tonight to fill my quota for the week. Nothing like hearing a name of endearment, over and over, each night to make you want to become a deaf and blind mute. Fucking nasty ass men.

“Makin any mo
ney tonight, Carmen?” Cookie asked, as she tied the halter top of her see through mesh dress.

“Enough
,” I mumbled, as I set my tray down on the counter and flopped into a chair.

“That bad huh?
Are the guys being dicks?” she questioned, taking the seat next to me.

“Not really;
it’s just the usual normal stuff. I’m just tired of it all; I want something more than what this strip club has offered me. I can’t seem to get a job dancing, no restaurant would hire me without food experience, and I’m just tired of being over looked.”

“Well
, you know you can always dance here; I’m sure Jimmy would let you on stage,” she mentioned with a smile.

I shook
my head at Cookie; she was absolutely stunning, but dumb as a rock. Most of the girls here were so nice and sweet, but none of them had any brains. A couple of them actually had a head on their shoulders, but those were the few who seemed to hate everyone in this place. I’d rather have friends that were dumb, but friendly in the end.

“I know.
It’s just……… that’s not what I want Cookie. I want to make it big in this world; do something that no one expects for me,” I said with a sigh.

In reality
, no one expected anything of me while growing up. They all probably figure I’m out there whoring it up in the big city. Well, they can suck it; I’m better than that. I’m a server at an adult club, and that is totally like ten steps up from being a stripper. Okay, who in the hell am I trying to lie to; myself? Because I know the truth and it’s more like a single step. Maybe I just needed to suck it up and put on my clear plastic shoes; prance around the stage and take the tips, with no regrets. It’s not like I was selling tickets to enter my pussy. Basic zoo rules applied here; you can look, but don’t touch. Might as well get more money with less clothing. Fuck, my wardrobe would be cheaper.

“Seriously
, Carmen, you need to relax. No one is going to be tossing any bills at you when you look like you have a stick up your ass,” my other roommate, Crystal, barked as I hung upside down on a practice pole in our small bedroom. Shooting her an evil glare, I cautiously flipped myself rightward and wiped the sweat off my hands on the back of my shorts. “Really girl, you have talent. I mean, it’s only been a few weeks since you started practicing on the pole. It took me forever to learn a basic spin! My boobs kept getting in the way,” she giggled, while squeezing her rack with both hands.

“I know.
It’s just I never thought I would be doing this.”

S
ighing, I stared at the connection where the pole and ceiling meet. I guess it was only a matter of time before I shed my clothes, like my four other roommates do. They all started out the same way I did, naïve to the bright flashy lights and supposed dreams of making it big. This city had a way of luring you in and spitting you right back out. I refused to go home, this was my home now. I just needed to make more money; I needed my boobs done if I was going to get anywhere here. Totally cliché for me wanting them done, but my small C’s didn’t cut it anymore. I needed bigger boobs to catch casting director’s attention. I had all the rest of the package; just lacked in the fun bags department. Serving drinks six nights a week wasn’t giving me much to stash away, and I never was a girl who waited very well when an idea came into this messed up head of mine. Besides, a couple nights of stripping a week, and I would have them paid off in several months. Then I could find a real job hell maybe even commercial work, since my look would be on par with the rest of the hotties in this town. This was just a temporary thing for a long term goal. Everyone had to pay their dues and start somewhere. My opportunity just happened to come with an attached pole, G-string, flashy lights, glitter, and a bunch of nasty men. I’m pretty sure Disney wouldn’t make a movie off my story, but oh well. At least I would finally be happy, right?

I made sure my makeup was completely flawless tonight, taking extra care to add the righ
t amount of glitter on places of my body where the light would hit and shine. I didn’t need anyone to mention that I was already lacking in expertise, and the boob department, then the rest of the girls in this place. I just needed to make a couple hundred bucks tonight, and I had only two shots at a three and a half minute song to do it. I nervously started to button up my long sleeve white shirt somehow I was talked into doing a naughty teacher look. My outfit was complete with a black pencil line skirt, black stripper pumps, and glasses. Yep, I was walking down this dark alley tonight; there was no going back now.