Running Home

Running Home

T.A. Hardenbrook

Running Home
 

T.A. Hardenbrook
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Kindle EDITION
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Cover created by Arijana Karcic at Cover It! Designs

Edited by Big Bang Book Services

Copyright © 2013 T.A. Hardenbrook

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this work, in whole or in part, in any form.
This is a work of fiction. All characters, events, organizations and products depicted herein are either a product of the author’s imagination, or are used fictitiously.

Thank You

Michelle Polk

Melinda Ihnen

Starla Halverson

This book is for you three ladies; thanks for helping me achieve my dreams!

Where are the Chapter
s?

Since music played a huge role in writing this novel, I decided to get rid of the traditional Chapter headings. Instead I have a song that I feel directly tied into what you are about to read. Enjoy!

“Second Chance
”
Shinedown ©2009

“You and Me” Boyce Avenue,
Original Song Lifehouse ©2005

“Shaking Hands”  Nickleback
© 2008

“Dirt Road Anthem” Jason Aldean © 2011

“Can’t Hold Us Down” Christina Aguilera © 2003

“Whiskey” Jana Kramer © 2012

“It’s been Awhile” Staind © 2001

“Hey Pretty Girl” Kip Moore ©2013

“Bottom of the Bottle” Smile Empty Soul © 2003

“I’m Movin On” Rascall Flatts ©2002

“Sorry” Buckcherry © 2007

“Wanted You More” Lady Antebellum © 2012

“Broken” Seether ft. Amy Lee © 2002

“How To Save a Life” The Frey © 2005

“Holding Out For A Hero” Elle Mae Bowen © 2011

“You Don’t Know Her” Brantley Gilbert © 2011

“Open Arms” Journey © 1981

“Your Everything” Keith Urban © 1999

“Gravity” John Mayer © 2005

“Broken” Lifehouse © 2008

“Gone” N SYNC © 2002

“Emergency” Paramore © 2006

“Skyscraper” Demi Lovato © 2011

“Fall For You” Secondhand Serenade © 2007

“My Best Friend” Tim McGraw © 1999

“Tie It Up” Kelly Clarkson © 2013

Part I

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

“Second Chance” Shinedown

Carmen, June 2007

“Carmen get down from there
!” Walker shouted, as I sauntered across the concrete railing on the old train bridge. “You need to calm down; nothing is going to happen.” I lowered myself to sit and face the moon shining on the pond below. Nothing was ever going to happen to me. I was invisible to everything. No matter how hard I tried to break the cycle of mediocrity, this small town smacked me back in the face. I could jump off this bridge, into a pool filled with piranhas, and not a single one would bite me. I had the best of luck, when it came to safety; however the sanity issue is where the problem was. I couldn’t break free of my mind; it was always swirling with useless information. A release was what I craved, an escape into the world unknown. Glancing over at Walker as he meandered over to the railing, I pushed myself off the edge and fell into the darkness below.

The cool water rushed
around my body as I tumbled into the pond underneath the bridge. It felt like a million little needles piercing my skin, reminding my brain that I was still alive. I broke the surface and felt the hot sticky air fill my lungs as I took a breath. The difference between the two temperatures was incredible, awakening my soul and calming my mind. It was like being in two different places at once, and in reality, I was just dying to get out of one.

“Carmen
!” Walker screamed from the bridge. It’s not like it was the first time I’ve done this. It was liberating to just close my eyes and jump, and each time I did it, Walker panicked like it would be the last. “Are you okay?” my best friend yelled down at me.

I flash
ed him a thumbs up, as he shook his head and muttered something to himself. I’m betting it contained curse words; he was going to lay into me again time for this little stunt. It’s not that I didn’t care; it was just the same thing every time. I was being irresponsible with my life, there was so much more to do and see that doing something so careless as jumping off the bridge into a small pond was the dumbest idea I could possibly do. Swimming over to the edge of the bank, I knew I could rattle off several more idiotic things I’ve done in the past more dangerous than this, but I knew it would only break his heart.  He was the only person in this world that actually cared about me, and it was like a punch in the gut every time I let him down.

Pulling mys
elf up on the embankment, I caught his eyes as he walked down the small hill.
Too late, I’ve done it again
, I thought as I noticed the hurt written all over his beautiful face.

“Calm down Walker.
I slipped,” I mentioned while ringing the water out of my hair. Walker didn’t say anything once he reached the rocks; I knew he was pissed, and was about to find out exactly the level of anger I managed to hit tonight. “Why in the hell do you do that? You’re not going to live forever, Carmen. One day it’s not going to end well for you. I refuse to be there when that happens; I love you way too much to watch you self-destruct.” His eyes bored into mine, laced with heartache and pain that I managed to hand deliver to him tonight.  I broke the contact and rolled my eyes at my best friend. It’s the same story I’ve heard from him a million-and-one-times, basically, the shortened version claims that I’m crazy. Hell, I might just be a little off my rocker; I act on impulse, and normally that resulted in something dumb happening.

I’ve always been a little different; from the first day on the playground of third grade when I went up to the most popular girl at school and pushed her down
, because she wouldn’t include me in her group. Walker was the only kid who would stand by my side after that. Who would have known he would grow up to be an all-star athlete that everyone in our small town loved and I would be the girl who people pitied. Well, I’m betting everyone knew that; considering that my parents were both druggies who dropped me off with my grandparents when I was eight. My grandmother always said I was a free bird, like my mom; the only difference between her and me was the drugs. Now, I love a good beer. Hand me a shot of whiskey and I’ll be your best friend, but I was not going to ruin my life like they did with the hard stuff.  Maybe it’s because my parents left me alone that I’m this way. It always seemed easier to blame someone else for my problems. No one expected me to do anything with my life anyhow. Might as well live up to their expectations right?

“Let’s go home,
Carmen.” Walker shook his head and held out his hand to help me up the steep embankment.

“But it’s still early
, Walker. Look the sun isn’t even out yet.”

“That’s the point; your grandparents are going to be mad
at you for being out this late already.”

“When are they not angry
, Walker? I’m like a living reminder of their failure at parenthood.”

He got behind me and pushed my body up the last little bit to the level ground. I stood there, sopping wet, as I watched him stalk back to his truck. I wasn’t ready to head home yet. Going back to my small room, in the little farm house, on the old dirt road on the first left outside of the tiny town we lived in; my own personal hell. I refused to die in this one stop light kind of town. There had to be more in life then getting married, and raising two-point-five kids and joining the PTA.

Looking at the millions of stars in the sky I knew I was destined for more,
and no one was going to stop me from achieving my dreams. Even if I had no clue what they were yet.

“Carmen,” my grandmother yelled down the hall.

I slowly open
ed my eyes to read the clock sitting beside my bed; the fact that it flashed seven-fifteen made me want to hurl it across the room. I only had to endure getting up at this hour through the next week, until graduation. That was
if
I could pass that last test in US History, and that was going to be a HUGE if. Why anyone needed to know about the stupid wars and presidents was, beyond me considering I couldn’t even tell you who was in charge of our country now, let alone a hundred years ago.

“Carmen
, are you up yet? You know Walker will be here in twenty minutes to collect you.”

“I
’m up, I swear,” I yelled as I threw the covers back over my head.

“We don’t swear in this
house, young lady.” Grams ripped the comforter off my bed, leaving me cold and almost naked.

“I know
,” I snapped while rolling out of bed. She gave me a stern look, and tossed the bedding back on the bed.

“Manners
, Carmen. A lady needs to watch her tongue,” she lectured while leaving the room.

“Sorry
,” I muttered, dragging myself to the closet to find something clean to wear.

J
ust four more days until I could get the hell out of here; ninety- six hours,  or five-thousand-seven-hundred and sixty seconds.

“Morning
, Mrs. Montgomery,” Walker’s southern drawl floated around the kitchen. Why Walker ever put up with my ass was the million dollar question. That boy had a heart of gold, while mine was the consistency of coal.

“Alright let’s get this done
,” I barked, while glancing at Walker as he waited in the doorway.

“Carmen can’t you ever
dress like a lady?” Grams scoffed as she pulled a tray of muffins out of the oven.

“At least my ass isn’t hanging out.”

“Language! I don’t want to have to remind you again,” Grams once again scolded, while handing Walker a brown sack filled with home cooked goodies.

“Thanks
, Mrs. Montgomery.” He tipped his hat and flashed a smile.

“Well if we are done playing nice this morning, I’ve got to figure out how in the hell I’m going to pass this test today
.” I placed a quick kiss to Gram’s cheek and drug Walker out the door. I slipped my sunglasses on my face and walked over to the Bronco. I couldn’t wait to be done with school; just four more days and I was going to be free from the awful place. I couldn’t fucking wait.

I tossed
my hair up in a messy bun and flipped the dial on the radio to find anything but country. “That crap you listen to is going to rot your brain,” Walker mumbled as he flew down the old country road to the high school.

“Can’t destroy my
brain; it’s been gone for a long time.” I winked at him and kicked my feet up on the dash.

“Are you going to be able to graduate Saturday? I swear I
will drag your ass across that stage, all you have to do is pass this test.”

“Yeah
, genius, I’m completely prepared for this exam,” I mock, knowing damn well it was going to be a miracle if I scored anything over a sixty percent. I only needed a sixty-two on this test to graduate, nothing like flying by the seat of my pants with the future unknown. Walker just shook his head with a look of pity on his face. I needed to pass this test and prove everyone in this damn town wrong.

“I don’t need your sorrow
, Walker; you know I’m going to be just fine once I get the hell out of here.”

“That’s what I’m scared about
, Carmen. I keep hoping you are going to realize that life here isn’t that bad.”

I roll
ed my eyes under my dark glasses. This boy was crazy. I am so close to packing up my shit and heading out west. The land of glamor and opportunity was just screaming my name and nothing was going to stand in my way of it. Not graduating, not my family, and for sure, not this town.

“How did it go
?” Walker hurried to catch up to me in the hallway after fifth period. “I don’t really know. I mean, I answered all the questions.” I shrugged.

“Carmen
, it was a multiple choice test. I hope you at least filled in all the bubbles?”

“Oh shit, I knew I missed something
,” I sneered while turning the dial on the lock attached to my locker. After several failed attempts, Walker pushed me out of the way and spun it till it clicked. I sent him a loving glare; it was almost a year now that I’ve been stuck with the same combo, that apparently, I would never remember. “Oh, my savior, what am I ever going to do without you?” I teased, while batting my eyelashes and pouted my lips.

“Knock it off
, Carmen; you know I hate the idea of you leaving.”

“Well
, get used to it. Champ. This chick is going to see her name in lights!” I slapped him on the ass while I closed my locker.

“What am I going to do without you
?” Walker expressed as he grabbed my bag and headed down the hallway for our government class.

“Enjoy life? I don’t know
, maybe date someone?”

I
nstantly, my mouth went dry and my stomach plummeted when I mentioned dating someone. I know I can’t keep him forever, but I hated the thought of him with anyone else but me. It’s not like we ever took that step from our friendship but I still thought of him as my soul mate. Dating someone else just made me angry and bitter. Maybe I was meant to stick around this lonely little town after all. Finding love was meant to be everything in life; I just wasn’t so sure it was the life for me.

I waited on the top of the Bronco for Walker to finish with baseball practice
. Stripping off my t-shirt, I laid back on the roof in just my black lacy bra, closing my eyes and soaking up the rays. The hot metal of the truck was scorching on my exposed skin, but it was worth it as I developed a darker complexion to my naturally tan body.

“Carmen
, put your clothes on,” Walker sighed as he slipped his bag into the back and stripped off his shirt.

I
couldn’t help but drool over his body. The years of sports and working in his father’s fields have done this man good. His abs were ripped to the point where they looked unreal, and his chiseled pecks were something that no eighteen-year old should have. If he was a tall drink of water, I wanted to bathe in it. Hell, I would drown in the liquid of him.

“You don’t have a shirt on
,” I replied, while resting my body up on my elbows.

“
Carmen, my dear you are absolutely stunning!” a team member of Walker’s shouted out as he climbed into his truck. I smiled and gave him a wave as Walker stood down on the concrete, crossing his arms, looking like he was about to murder someone.

“Seriously
, Walker, you’ve seen me in less,” I grumbled, tossing my shirt over my head and sliding down the front windshield. “Yeah, well, you’re my best friend Carmen; the whole world doesn’t need to see you naked.”

“It’s a
bra; my swimsuit covers less than this!” I grabbed my boobs and gave them a squeeze. For gosh sakes, it’s just extra flaps of skin attached to my chest. I don’t know what his problem was; it wasn’t like he liked me in that way. I knew I was a little slutty. Hey I might even be called the town whore. But it’s not like I’ve slept with the entire senior class; just maybe a quarter of them. “Maybe I’m practicing for my big porn debut,” I said as I smacked his rock hard abs and walked around to climb in the passenger side of the truck.