Running Shoes (The Shades of Northwood) (13 page)

“Don’t follow
it.” Katie squinted along it to see where it led but it seemed to
trail into nowhere, away from town. “It could go anywhere.”

“Exactly.”

Jaye started
walking down the trail. Katie drew a deep breath of dusty air,
adjusted her baseball cap and started after her. She did not like
this feeling of being on a road that went God-knew-where. Too many
late night B-list horrors with Dad made her think of deserts cabins
in the middle of nowhere and monsters who dripped goo on her as her
skin ripped open. Then, just as terror threatened to grip her and
make her cry out to Jaye to
stop! I’m scared
a complete calm
washed over her. Katie could feel eyes on her and a hand curled in
hers, but when she looked to her side nobody was there. The hand in
hers slid away as she tried to wrap her fingers around it. The eyes
were far away enough that she could not see them. But they were
there,, watching her and Jaye and ready to become real and close if
anything should happen. A thought came to Katie’s mind and she
remembered following the bus down the road and round the bend.

“I think this
road goes down to Millford,” she said. The other girl was too far
ahead of her to hear though and Katie had to jog up beside her.
“Hey, I said this road goes into Millford. I don’t think it’s far.”
Katie took a step further when Jaye put out an arm and gently
pulled her back, a resigned but wishful look on her face. “You’ve
never been down there either?”

“No. And I’m
not about to either”

“Why not?”

“I… We’re
just…” a shadow flashed across her pale face. It was a look that
had no place on such a pretty girl but a quick smile chased it
away. It had been there though. “We’re not supposed to.” The shadow
hung behind Kaye’s delicate features, just waiting as though there
were secrets that desperately needed to be shared.

“Is this about
that moron who ditched you?”

“Sort of. It’s
hard to talk about.”

In a silence
that was anything but easy, the two girls headed back the way they
had come and then to the house on Newton Street. Half of Katie
wanted to call it home, for it was were she belonged and lived with
people she already cared about, though the other half of her balked
at the suggestion, reminding her that home was a place to feel
totally at ease and living would never be easy as long as Leo lived
there. The urge to ask Jaye about this reluctance she had to go to
Millford was strong. Katie could tell the girl wanted to talk about
it almost as much as she wanted to know but she did not really want
to pry. “Hey.”

Jaye nodded.
She knew Katie was ready when she needed to talk, although it
really was not her fault she couldn’t answer the questions hanging
between them. The main road was almost right ahead of them now and
they followed it almost a mile to the first residential streets. A
corner shop at the end of one street had a few seats outside. “Wait
here. I’ll get us a drink.”

“Are we okay? I
didn’t think you’d mind that I called your ex a moron. I’m
sorry.”

“Don’t be. I
called him worse.”

“Still…”

“He was an
idiot, you know. I just never thought he’d actually leave.” She
disappeared into the tiny shop, Katie straddled one end of the
bench and waited until Jaye emerged a few minutes later with two
cans of pop and a bag of crisps. She was laughing over her
shoulder, evidently on good terms with the owner. “Anyway, that’s
the old town. You’ll get to know the ins and outs of it all in
time. It takes the fun out of it if I show you every little
thing.”

“Hmm, I’ll
maybe run down there in the week, get used to the ground.” Jaye
frowned and asked why she couldn’t just train on the track. Running
on track was different from running on road which was different
from running on grass and so on. Since she had only really done a
few half-hearted circuits of her old park, getting used to hard
surfaces again would take a little time. “Practice makes perfect,
or so they say.”

“Bet you put
all the other runners in the shade.”

“On my first
college race? And I haven’t raced all summer.”

“Come on,
Katie. Levenson doesn’t give out scholarships lightly. Maybe five
or six in the whole student body. And do you know how many under
18s they take? 20. Out of 700 first years. You’re special
girl.”

“Right. No
pressure.”

Drinks finished
and cans neatly crumpled inside crisp bas and them into the bin,
they headed home. Katie felt for her key but Adam poked his head
over the fence and ordered them straight into the garden. He was
setting up a folding table and chairs as a barbecue waited
expectantly in the corner. “The girls are making salad, coleslaw,
all that healthy crap. Though you’d like to see a real man at
work.”

Katie eyed him,
topless but with an apron covering most of his muscles and watched
his muscles flex as he wrenched seats into position. “Tempting.
Very tempting. But alas not.”

“I’m just
waiting for this real man to show up.”

Adam grabbed a
spatula from the pocket of his apron and chased them both back up
the garden and back into the house.

“We could use
another pair of hands if there’s any going spare!” called Dina from
the kitchen, where she and Lainy were making more noise than the
Muppets’ Swedish chef.

“Go ahead,”
Katie said, humbly giving up her kitchen expertise for her friend.
“Mine are firmly attached to the rest of me.” And the rest of her
was determined to go upstairs for a quick shower and a rest before
Adam set the fence on fire.

The shower was
an ugly old metal spray head which hung over the bath but worked
far better than it looked like it should. Katie stepped under the
cool water and knelt down to let it rain down on her back. A few
minutes more and Katie was wrapped in a towel and padding back to
her room. Through the window drifted the squeals of youngsters
setting up a night of fun. It didn’t feel like living with other
students or having adults taking care of her – though she knew Adam
and Lainy were likely paid quite well to do just that – it was more
like staying with friends on a really long, hard holiday. She
dressed in her thinnest pyjamas that covered her backside and boobs
and lay back on her bed, fully intending to go downstairs dressed
this way. The room was cooler than it had been all week, the window
open and the curtains closed. Katie reached out for her mp3 player
and flicked to a dance mix Dan had put on for her. The driving
repetitive beats were not her cup of tea but she closed her eyes
and let the pounding drums chase away any lingering thoughts of
what if..?
she needed music so loud and boring it would both
keep her awake when she honestly wanted nothing more than to curl
up and drift off – just walking and seeing new places where ever
she turned was exhausting – and would stop her from slipping into
that deep well of depression and stress she was so near to. The
first she knew of some-one in her room was when an earphone slipped
out of her ear and she opened her eyes to look for it. A dark shape
stood in her open doorway. Katie sat bolt upright and scrambled
back on the bed. Dark blue eyes and grabbing hands, grabbing arms
and legs and pulling her this way and that until there was only
dirt and depravity, such depravity, raw and animal and basic –
want, take, have – filled her mouth.

“Get out!” Just
two words, lonely and mild, but ground out with the force of a ten
ton truck.

“Nice. I only
came to tell you the barbecue will be running soon,” said Leo
stepping into her room. Hadn’t he just said running with the
tiniest hint of a grin?

“Okay.” She
wondered why he was just standing there and looking at her. Katie
hugged her knees to her chest, feeling suddenly naked and
vulnerable as Leo’s dark eyes roamed over every curve and angle of
her body. “I heard.”

“You don’t like
me, do you?”

“Give me one
reason I should.”

“I have to live
here too so let’s just have this out and done with. We’re not
friends. We’re not ever likely to be friends but you could at least
be civil.”

Civil? It was a
matter for debate whether Leo had much concept of socially
acceptable behaviour. “How long were you there?”

He shrugged.
Katie swung herself off the bed and walked towards Leo, back
pedalling until he backed into the door frame before correcting
himself and getting through the open door. “I’m way beyond kidding,
Leo. Get out.”

“Feisty little
bitch, aren’t you?”

“Better a bitch
than a sociopath.”

“You want to
watch that dirty little mouth of yours. It could get you in trouble
one day.”

Katie backed
him out of the doorway and slammed it behind him, leaning against
it for a moment and spinning the lock. Jaye shouted something up
the stairs as Leo thundered down them but Katie was too shaken to
pay much attention. “I’ll be down in a while,” Katie called back,
deciding she would at least put a wrap over her pyjamas. She also
decided that today had been much too good a day to let him destroy
it now. A lot had happened in just the few days since the move but
none of it had made her want to turn tail and run back to her
family. This was her moment to be free and independent and just
another teenagers with dreams of academic and sporting success.

She went back
to her bed and lay down again,, turning the music up just lloud
enough to drown out the squeals from the garden, turned herself
away from the window and threw her arms over her face to cover
herself in darkness. Too much was rushing through her mind right
now; nerves, anger, hate, enough to make her whole body vibrate
with the strength of it all. Then there was the letter from the
police, stabbing Uncle Billy, getting spiked at the party. Leaving
her childhood home and knowing, for some inexplicable reason, that
going back might never happen. It came as a shock to realise that
her body was shaking because all of these things and more were
making her cry. Huge shuddering, yet virtually silent, sobs rocked
her. She made no attempt to stop weeping, just letting tears pool
on the sheets by her head. This was precisely what Katie had not
wanted to do, get so over-whelmed by emotion and exhaustion that
crying was the automatic response. And she tried. Tried every trick
she knew from distractions to confrontation to actively forgetting.
None of it had worked.

“It’s okay now.
You don’t need to be frightened any more.” A hand brushed her bare
shoulder. Katie rolled over and found herself peering up at a
blurry face. The hand moved from her shoulder leaving a sudden cold
patch and gentle fingertips wiped at her damp face. “There’s
nothing to be scared of.”

Katie turned
back over and twisted her hand in his. She was so tired. A memory
seeped through her mind – at least it felt like a memory. It could
have been a dream, a nightmare, a fantasy she never waned. There
was a skeleton wearing a Stetson and when she looked at it, it
would hold its arms out to her and she would go to it. “Who are
you? Why are you following me?” And why does it feel this good?

“I’m Jack. And
you’re safe.”

The way he said
that, so patient and tender, made the tears rise up again. No
matter how hard she blinked them back, they fell freely down her
cheeks. Jack didn’t seem to mind but Katie wanted nothing less than
to cry in front of him. But after a minute she forgot that her
emotional breakdown was being observed and just clung to him as
everything she was worried about streamed out of her. “And I’m
damaged, Jack. I’m so, so damaged.”

“You’re doin’
fine.”

The unbridled
crying had faded to occasional whimpers and now Katie scrubbed at
her face and tried to dab at his shirt where she had wept on it –
though it was completely dry already – with a sudden thought. Maybe
she looked weak and childish. One look at Jacks’ face only told her
that he had barely said a word as she cried because he had no idea
what to say. And there was nothing really that could be said that
would not make her feel worse. “You could have stopped me
crying.”

“You looked
like you needed it.”

“What I need is
not to have any reasons to cry.”

“Can’t help
with that one. We all cry sometimes, I guess. And when you do, when
you get scared or worried or are in danger, I’ll be standin’ right
next to you.”

“You were here
– there – earlier. When we found the road to Millford. When Jaye
said we shouldn’t go down, I felt a hand in mine. It was like
some-one didn’t want me to be on my own. Was it you?”

“If it helps to
think so.” It didn’t. Not really. It just raised more questions of
how he got there and why she couldn’t see him. Questions like those
were… how had he got in? That was another question – one that
seemed to take over from all the other. Had she not locked the door
after her altercation with Leo? And yet, with Jack holding her
hand, it seemed not very important at all. “Don’t worry, Lady
Katie.”

“I’m not.” And
she found it was eerily true. Eerie because she thought she had
felt this way before although exactly when was a mystery. “It’s
just… I’m sixteen. And I feel like I’m a hundred.”

“One day,
Katie, I promise you’ll be able to enjoy being young.”

It was nice
thing to promise even if it was one she knew he couldn’t keep. She
turned to him and stared into his deep green eyes, wondering just
what was going on behind them because there was definitely
something there. “You sound very sure of yourself.”

“You’ve got
time to be a kid, time to forget all of this.”

“I don’t want
to forget you. I barely know you, and there are so many things I
should be asking you but all I know is I don’t want you to go and I
won’t ever forget you because then I’ll be scared again and I don’t
think I can take being scared again.” And, boy, was that the
longest and most jumbled sentence she had ever uttered. “Breathe.
Should really have done that when I started.”