Running Shoes (The Shades of Northwood) (12 page)

Jaye glanced at
Lainy - a look which told Katie everything she didn’t want to know
or even think about. They felt sorry for her. Presumably it was
about the previous night but sympathy was the one emotion Katie
couldn’t quite deal with today. It seemed wrong to tell them both
to snap out of it but just as the thought was forming, Adam beat
her to it.

“If I hear any
of those words again today, there will be problems.” He flipped the
latch on the window, pushed it as wide open as it would go and
relieved Katie of those oh-so-heavy packets of pasta sauce. Jaye
bounded off upstairs and slammed the door to the room she shared
with Dina. Dina seemed to be a little shier than her friend but
there had been moments, like at the pool, when she seemed more
confident, more sure of herself. Perhaps she just needed time to
warm to the new people in her life. It could be that she just felt
bolder with her friend there as back-up. The feeling was alien to
Katie. Another feeling swirled at the bottom of her stomach, a
tingly sensation she couldn’t quite put her finger on. The
claustrophobia that came with it was one she knew all too well. The
claustrophobia was not a fully fledged fear of enclosed spaces –
which would have been extremely not fun given the hours each day
she would soon be spending cooped up in her room – and when she
walked over and leaned towards the opening of the window she felt
better right away. The older couple had been squabbling about where
the furniture polish was meant to be kept when a memory came
slamming into her head so fast and sharp that Katie had to voice
it.

“Was there
someone at the hospital last night? I mean, besides you two?”

“I don’t think
so, hon. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I heard
you and the doc talking. And he came in for a minute but I’m sure
there was somebody at my bedside holding my hand. I think he was
there the whole night too.”

“I didn’t see
anyone,” Lainy insisted, a touch too quickly, as though that had
been an over-learnt response. “You, Ad?” Adam shook his head.
“Maybe you just remembered someone from the party. Or a
hallucination. Those drugs hit you pretty hard.”

“Probably. I
don’t remember much anyway, just his eyes and he kept telling me
everything was okay now and I believed him.”

“Hang on,” Adam
held up his hand. “It was a he? What if it was your attacker.”

Katie
shuddered, thinking, for the instant she would allow herself, of
dull blue eyes and grabbing hands. “It wasn’t. There’s no rational
explanation except I know it wasn’t. I know what danger looks like
and that room was the safest place I’ve known.”

“That’s what
Rohypnol does. It makes you less aware of risk.”

“No, it makes
you less able to process that risk and fight it. I saw a lot of
kids brought in all doped up on my placement.”

“That’s not
what I heard.”

“How many
times, Adam? Watching Casualty is hardly reliable.”

“But they have
doctors on the writing staff.”

“Seriously,
there’s not even a real place called Tellytubbyland.”

He made a
disappointed face. This was what Katie had been missing the last
few months. Normality. People discussing such mundane things as TV
and not feeling as though they had to make her the centre of every
conversation. Then she thought of her family and decided she ought
to go up to her room and call them. Maybe tomorrow though. Uncle
Billy would have reported back that she was actually managing to
feed herself, and she didn’t want to call them so soon and give
them cause to worry she was not coping on her own.

“Oh, I was
going through my washing earlier – found this in my dressing gown.”
Lainy went to the metal letter rack nailed to the wall and fetched
a folded yellow envelope with the police stamp in the corner.
“Striving for safer cities,” she read.

“Thanks,” Katie
said and took it. Like before, she sat staring at it.

“Jury duty? Oh,
you’re not old enough yet.”

Katie worked up
a wry smile. If only Lainy had any idea how close to the truth she
was getting. “Who brought me in then?”

Adam shrugged.
“We just took the call from that nurse.”

Well, at least
some-one had taken pity on a poor, unconscious girl and not
advantage. “I just saw these green eyes and I remember thinking I
could just drown in them and I wouldn’t care. Like you said, you
dream all sorts.”

“Have you been
having some strange dreams?”

“A few. But
I’ve got a strange imagination. Shower monster and leap frogging
pigeons strange. Messed up, right?” Lainy shrugged, looking
non-committal. “Don’t rush to argue,” she joked.

“So, anything
important?”

Opening the
letter here – in the kitchen, in front of these two – seemed almost
scary. Katie wanted to be in her room when she read it. A private
place where she could scream and shout and cause random destruction
only to her own stuff. No matter what it said, surely it was more
fitting to be able to sink into her own thoughts. The quiet room
seemed like a good place to be alone, to find out what this letter
said without the questions and piteous looks. There would be tears
and probably days of shock and depression which Katie would hide
with a smile when anyone was looking and wallow inn it when she
could. Tat was one option. The other was just to get it over with
in front of her friends and have everything out in the open. No
more secrets, no more wondering why she was so unpredictable around
people she hadn’t quite figured out.

She sliced the
letter open with a knife, took the letter out and skimmed down it.
Where were the tears? Where were the waves of emotion which
threaten to beat her into oblivion? Where was the bite of reality
finally coming good? Where was
anything?
All there was was a
horrible hollow feeling inside. A total lack of feeling. “Before I
say anything, I need to apologise for freaking out on you last
night, Adam, and running out on you, Lainy. I hope it’ll make sense
soon.” Katie held the letter out and spoke quickly before her brain
chickened out of the confession. Confession? What did she have to
confess to, to feel remorse for? Nothing, tat’s what. But
confession felt like the right word. “Four months ago, I was
offered a place at the academy which I turned down. A month later,
I was raped. I couldn’t run away fast enough. I told everyone I got
over it, just went back to my ordinary life, but I didn’t. not even
a bit. So I rang admissions and here I am. New start.”

“Okay. Why are
you telling us?”

“Because…”
Katie stopped and looked at her new friends. The room felt as
though it was closing in, the air crushing down. She went back to
the window and gulped down lungfuls of still and stale oxygen. Then
she bent to the sink and splashed water on her face, already
feeling better. Some-one was out there, somewhere, keeping her safe
and watching out for her. Some-one who felt so close, maybe close
enough to touch, if only see could see them.

She turned back
to them and sat on the drainer as they huddled over the letter. Why
was she telling them? Being attacked was her problem to deal with;
it wasn’t fair to make it theirs.

“The kids come
through here are moody, unpredictable nd young. But a helll of a
lot of fun. You fit right in.”

“I just thought
you should know. If I start shutting myself away or do a runner on
you in future, it’s just because all the people are just too much.
That day was intense.”

“You’ve known
us just a few days and you tell us this? That’s brave, Katie.
Brave, strong and a little bit insane,” Adam grinned, suddenly
joining forces with Lainy to make a Katie sandwich.
Brave,
strong, insane
– she had heard that before. Where? Green eyes.
“We’ll leave it to you whether you tell the others.”

Did she want to
enter that minefield? Did she have to? Jaye would feel sorry for
her. Dina was too shy to care. Leo probably thought she deserved
it. She shook her head, took her letter back and headed to the
door, suddenly tired and wanting to go to bed and sleep for a very
long time. Maybe forever. “Sunday morning training run. I went to
school the next day.”

CHAPTER
SEVEN

“Now, it just
so happens that there’s a race next Saturday to raise money for the
baby group. Quite a few of the stew-dents is running. Shall I put
your name down?” Roy rummaged through a drawer and pulled out
another clipboard. There were so many boards and random papers
scattered around this tiny office – little more than a cupboard
with a desk really – that it was a wonder he ever kept track of
them all.

“As in tomorrow
Saturday?” Katie asked.

“No, you doof.
As in Wednesday Saturday.” Only Jaye had been invited down this
morning. The adults had protested, thought one of them should go
with her but it seemed a bit like overkill for an entire gang of
them to file down to the athletics ground. Besides, just the three
of them – Roy and the two girls – were a tight squeeze. “It’s the
Saturday after tomorrow. I did it last year. Damn near killed
me.”

“Here. Fill
this in and then off you go.” Roy held out his clipboard which
Katie scribbled her name on and filled in the entrance form. It was
a five kilometre race for the support group for new parents and
babies. It seemed like a good cause and she was pretty sure she
could drum up a few sponsors. Jaye started the ball rolling
straight away by tugging the form away and making her pledge. It
was not much but it was a start.

“Hey, I’m a
student. I would put more but I think student finances want me to
pay my fees.” Jaye shrugged. “They’re funny like that.”

“How about
running again – keep me company?” Ka\tie held out another form but
Jaye pushed it away with a disdainful look. “So, when and
where?”

“Saturday at
half nine. We meet by the gates.” Roy saw both girls to he door and
Jaye went out first. Katie was about to follow when she turned back
to Roy.

“I need a job.
I know my friend lifeguards and some of the other students work
around campus…” she knew that the Levenson Academy only let people
work for them if they were over the age of 18. But she was still a
student of theirs and she had to pay the bills somehow. The
scholarship covered her tuition and a portion of her academic needs
like books and so on but living in Northwood did not come for
free.

“I’ll see if I
can do anything, miss. I have your details.” Roy waved the paper at
her and shooed her out of the office before Katie could think of
anything else to ask him.

She met Jaye
leaning on the chain link fence separating the athletics stadium
from the rest of campus. “I guess you’ll be training all the time
now?”

Katie could
hardly keep the smile from her face. Her first race in months, the
first one she wanted to run and win, just signing up for it had
been a huge step and her proud grin was making Jaye give her funny
looks. Which only succeeded in making Katie want to laugh. She
slapped her hands over her mouth to keep the giggles in but they
spilled over the edge and Katie clawed at the fence. Laughter truly
was infectious because, with no explanation as to why, Jaye joined
in. And there they stood. Two teenage girls, howling away and
clinging to each other like they might fall down if they let go.
“Oh my god. I can’t believe I just did that.”

“Yeah, you need
your head checked.”

Katie checked
her phone – reception in town was extremely patchy – and saw that
only one signal bar was registering. She tapped out a short message
to Dan – SIGNAL BAD IM FINE CALL WEN I CAN – and sent it off.
Reception at the house was better but she was hoping a text would
satisfy her family for another few days. If she heard any of their
voices, so full of empty empathy and sorrow, Katie was sure she
would start crying again. There had been enough of her own private
tears last night. “My first college level race. Just hope I can
keep up.”

“Ad said you
barely broke a sweat yesterday. I don’t think you’ll have much of a
problem.”

“Show me some
more of the old town and I can train there a bit. Get used to it.”
She let Jaye take her am and tow her through the open campus
grounds. The main college was closed off still but, today at least,
it looked as if some-one was inside. A few lights were on and there
was a figure leaning out of one of the windows and sticking some
coloured discs outside. Katie decided not to think about what they
were, looking instead at the dozens of students lounging on the
grass and chatting. To her eyes, they looked like the same groups
that had been there a few days earlier. And then they were out of
the campus grounds and walking along the pebbly bank that came out
on the main road. If it could really be called a main road. A few
people rode along on bike, there was a half-full bus where the
destination reel read MILLFORD CENTRAL, children played football or
kiss chase down the street making the most of the last few days of
summer holiday. She had not yet noticed a school but the town
obviously had much more than her first few days out had shown her.
As the girls walked along the street, the whole environment seemed
to change from the relatively modern college and shops to older but
not exactly ancient residential areas to something resembling the
gothic. The huge stone and brick buildings so briefly glimpsed on
the way in to Northwood suddenly dominated the area.

“It looks kinda
freaky round here but it’s fine. There’s a library, a couple of
bars and things, a jewellers. Like Roy said, it’s the old part. The
council can’t modernise it – heritage and all that.” Jaye turned to
the left and started tracking through side streets and patches of
waste ground. Katie tried to pick out one or two landmarks to
remember, like the tree which looked like a forked snake tongue or
the old rusted out motorcycle, knowing full well she would never
remember where everything was. As they exited yet another scrubby
yard behind a café, Jaye headed towards a dirt track and started to
follow it. “Never noticed this before.”