Running Shoes (The Shades of Northwood) (25 page)

Katie blew her
cheeks out and walked to the cooling coffee pot. There was probably
another 12 hours in her tank before sleep blasted into her, though
tiredness waa already knocking politely on her skull. “He’s not
random.” She had already explained about Jack’s death by – flaying?
Was that the right word? – and how his murderer was now after her
too. “I wish it was. You know, something I can just close my eyes
and wish it all away but it’s when I close my eyes that he comes.
And then I wake up with scars.”

A door banged
open above them and feet padded along the floor boards and another
door ground shut. Jaye was out of the bathroom. All the hot water
was probably gone. Lukewarm showers. Katie’s favourite. They didn’t
remind her of school at all.

“Why did you
tell me?”

That was the
question Katie had been bracing for since she began her story. She
had even prepared a long answer but found that she couldn’t
remember a single word of it. What she came out with was fine
anyway. “Because you’re the only one who hasn’t felt sorry for me
this week.” Which was true. Lainy and Adam had felt sorry for her
when she told them about her rape. Dina had felt bad about not
being able to tell her why the town was so freaky. Jaye had pitied
her for letting her get drugged. Even Uncle Billy had apologised
for needing her to go to hospital with him. the weight of sympathy
was getting to the crushing stage. “You didn’t realise that, did
you?” She put a finger to her lips and headed for the bathroom.
Katie didn’t think Leo needed the reminder to keep quiet; after
all, he hadn’t mentioned a word about their little moment the other
night. It just made her feel better to know there was one person
definitely on her side.

Katie was in
the middle of dragging her fingers through her tangled wet hair
when she felt that familiar cold pressure on her stomach. “Why call
it de-tangling conditioner if it- ow.” The fact that she was naked
except for her smiley face flip flops was only mildly annoying. For
all she knew Jack had seen her with no clothes a hundred times
before. She reached out to the side a grabbed a towel from the rack
and wrapped it around herself, determined to ignore him for as long
as possible. Her resolve crumbled as soon as she felt her breath
coming harder, shallower. She thrust her hands out in front of her,
gripping onto the sides of the sink as though her life depended on
it. In some twisted way it did. Not comforting.

Not at all.

Katie could
feel a cool hand on the flat of her stomach and gasped. Now that
she knew, really knew, what this feeling was, it was truly
terrifying. No longer was it the blind pain of before. This was
all-singing, all-dancing, surround sound pain. Knowing what was
happening didn’t make it any easier to bear. This hurt like someone
was emptying her from the inside out and yet…

She craved it.
Just knowing Jack was on the other side of this divide, this
whatever it was that kept them apart most of the time, made her
want to go through this pain. It had to hurt deeper, longer. It had
to hurt better. And it would.
If you let it.
Everything
Katie wanted to say to him and ask of him, every second she wanted
to spend looking into his ocean eyes, came pushing to the front of
her mind and she felt herself cracking under the weight of it all.
“No, I don’t want this.” The air in the room went very, very still.
It would have certainly turned icy cold if it hadn’t been for all
the steam and warm air in the room. The knot in her stomach
loosened. And the hurt was gone, for the moment at least. Jack,
invisible and not touching her right now, wrote in the steamy
mirror – DIDN’T MEAN IT. It didn’t make any difference exactly what
he didn’t mean – maybe everything – or whether his statement was
true. She wanted him here right now. Not saying anything, not dong
anything, just
being
there. As soon as the thought flashed
through her mind, so fast Katie barely even registered words – the
tightness in her stomach came back. With it came the feeling that
her muscles were turning to jelly, her lungs were emptying of
oxygen because she no longer had the energy in her to breathe in,
and all she cared about was Jack. Not the
oh-God-I-think-I’m-dying
part she should be worrying about
but the raw, jagged need ripping through her.

“Stop
this.”

The words NEED
TO appeared in the mirror and, for a moment, Katie wondered if he
really had to. It was a second later that the word EXPLAIN crammed
itself under his other words. Katie gasped as something pulled at
her insides. It felt familiar but she would never numb the pain she
didn’t think. It was unnatural and yet the most beautiful agony
imaginable. She thrust a hand out and wiped the words away from the
mirror Jaye had left in here, leaving nothing but streaks and
fingerprints. Wiping Jack away was not quite so simple. He was
persistent, she’d give him that. And perhaps she wouldn’t be
fighting this feeling so much if his words could fix everything. An
icy fist drove through her abdomen –she didn’t remember it hurting
this much last time – and the soap dish slid off the sink onto the
tiny hand towel she had dried her hair with. Katie reached down to
the pressure on her stomach, feeling a whisper of
skin-but-not-really-skin and sank her fingers into the air,
wondering but not caring all that much if she was grabbing Jacks
wrist or tearing his phantom flesh with her nails. She pushed the
invisible hand away from her but didn’t let go. For just a moment
the emptiness hurt worse than the pulling at her insides.

And then the
anger flooded that gap.

She dragged her
fingers away from the heavy air and flung the door open. “I said
no!” then she slammed the door shut between them and bolted down to
her room, where she scrambled into her scruffiest but most
comfortable clothes. Looking good, or even halfway presentable, was
the least of her worries.

Katie sat on
her bed, back against the headboard, and reached for her copy of
Insomnia. Stephen King novels were usually so freaky, she devoured
them in days. She’d been working on this one since before the move,
and the book from yesterday had been spirited away by the tidy-up
fairy – Lainy to her friends. She had to keep glancing at the door
every few seconds, positive she would see some kind of dark mist
pouring through the gap which would swirl and solidify into Jack.
And then she would fall into his arms and his eyes and fall so very
deeply that she wouldn’t even feel it when the bad man killed her.
And then he would condemn another young girl stupid enough to
believe in a hero.

A knock came at
her door and Jaye poked her head around the door. “I’m gonna get
some shut-eye and then I’ve got a ton of work to do. You need
anything first?”

Katie shut her
book, marking her page with a finger. “Shouldn’t I be the one
asking that?”

Jaye grinned
and her face lit up – she had one of those faces that were just
made for smiling – and cocked her thumb towards the bathroom. “I
heard.” A pause their would have been awkward. Full of questions
and needless answers – they both knew what Katie knew and trying to
sugar-coat it now brought the words horse, stable door and bolted
to mind. “He’s still here you know. Somewhere.”

Without even
realising what she was doing, Katie closed her eyes and let her
mind wallow in the silence of the room – the only sound being their
perfectly synchronised breaths. Jaye was right. Jack was near. The
dark power pulsed stronger in the house. “I know.” And then, right
at the edge of her mind, she heard footsteps, footsteps breaking
into a slow but determined run and then-

She was slammed
by an invisible force, away from the tingle of red sparking hate
and back into her waking world. Katie started screaming the instant
before her eyes flew open. Everything suddenly seemed too bright.
Closing her eyes again, sinking into a deep and dreamless sleep
seemed so tempting. Only there would be dreams. And they wouldn’t
stay just in her head.

“Getting early
admission to college, proper training, leaving home two years early
– that was supposed to be the adventure of my life.”

“Yeah, dying
really screws up our plans.”

“I didn’t
mean-“

“Yeah, you did.
And you’re right. 16’s young to know all this. Hell, 19’s young to
know it, let alone have to deal with it. Believe me, this isn’t the
plan I had for my life either.”

“You seem to be
dealing with it quite well though.”

“Mostly. I’m
not saying it’s easy – nu-uh – but it’s not the end of the world.
There are so many chances I have now that I’d never have got
anywhere else.” Jaye shouldered the door open and came to sit on
the bed, stifling a yawn. “You know what my plan was?”

Katie shook her
head.

“Leave school,
go to college and coach swimming for a few years for money then go
to LA and get a multi million dollar modelling contract. Teenagers,
huh.”

“It’s not a
stupid dream.” No ambition could be silly, just unrealistic.

“It was. Those
kinds of things never happen to real people but, half a dozen years
ago, I honestly believe I was different. I was meant for great
things. Mental, right?”

“It’s
still-“

Jaye kept
talking. “I was always a good swimmer and, after just a year
training at the academy, I’m on my way to being great. And if I
hadn’t decided to come here, I would have died in another town and
I’d be rotting in some grave somewhere.”

Katie didn’t
want to be a pile of ash in an urn or forgotten deep in the ground,
but in the same breath she had no desire to be some kind of
half-person half-ghost creation when she died. Considering death
and what might happen after it when her own life had barely begun
was just wrong. Katie shook the gloom away. “I knew I was going to
be an athlete since my first PE lesson at nursery. Mom said I
learnt to run before I could crawl.”

“Wow.
Single-minded-girl-R-U.”

A breeze
ruffled the net curtains and Katie reached over to pull it
straight. The stretch was a little further than she had thought
and, as her fingers gripped the lacy material, she felt something
break apart along her arm. “Oww! Ow, oh shite.”

“Lang- hey,
what the fuck?”

“It’s nothing.”
Katie picked a handful of tissues out of the pack on her bedside
table and pressed them to the slash on her arm. It had been
beginning to scab over when she had peeled the bandage off before
her shower and the movement had burst it open. There was a little
blood but thankfully not much. Lainy had been thoughtful enough to
leave a few dressings and white tape on her desk, probably knowing
it would split when she moved or turned on it at night – some
medical boffin stuff. “Hand me a new bandage.”

Jaye did it
without a word, biting her bottom lip and looking freaked. Then she
turned tail and ran out of her bedroom and backed up against the
landing wall, sinking down to the floor, still watching her friend
through the open door. “Did you do that to yourself?” she asked
shakily. Was she going to watch another friend hurt herself, spill
her own life blood, and not do anything about it? “’Cos we can talk
about this.”

“Relax, girl.”
More talking was the last thing she needed. “I just tripped over at
the track. Always lace up trainers before moving. Consider my
lesson learnt.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. It
was just an accident. I’m not planning to slit my wrists any time
soon. Ever,” she added, deciding the older girl still looked
unconvinced.

“You
screamed.”

“Jack’s doing
my head in. Guess why.” Katie stretched the tape over the square of
gauze, patted it flat, rolled her sleeve back down and plugged her
hair straighteners in. Life-savers, they were. Best birthday
present ever. Running the plates through her hair was a morning
ritual but not the good kind – like breakfast. It was a nightmare
and there were always a few frizzed up locks that managed to
escape. “Any good with these?”

“Please.
Straight, curly, corn rows, freakin’ pigtails…you name it, I can do
it.” Jaye got up and took the straighteners off Katie, running a
comb through her hair first. Her fingers worked fast and accurate
as any hairdresser. “Don’t lie to me, Katie. You didn’t scream just
‘cos of Jack. Something’s up and I want to know what.”

“Nothing’s
wrong.” She knew she had said the wrong thing as soon as she spoke
and wished she could claw back the word
wrong
. Because
denying something was wrong was pretty much the same as confessing
all. She should just claim stress. Worry about the race. Anxiety
over her new academy life. Anything.

That would have
been the sensible thing to do.

“Nothing’s
wrong,” she said again, willing Jaye to believe it. “I’m fine.
Really.”

Jaye put the
straightening irons down on the red heat mat, took Katie’s chin
between her thumb and forefinger and held it in front of the mirror
until Katie had no choice but to look at herself. “Look at
yourself, babe. You are not fine.”

Katie inspected
her reflection, properly looked at herself for the first time in
days. Her lightly tanned face was tight and tired looking. Her
brown eyes were jittering as if on a truckload of pills, hyper
alert and ready for anything. Fear for your life probably had that
effect. She didn’t look too bad, though – nothing that couldn’t
easily be put down to general stress. Though it really wasn’t the
purpose of this little soul-searching exercise, Katie forced her
gaze up to Jaye and kept it there for a few moments until Jaye
copied and looked at herself too. There was a smile on her mouth
but it didn’t quite reach the eyes which looked empty and… dead.
The air in the room vibrated and Jaye forced her smile wider and
brighter. A scream of her own filled the room although the girl
hadn’t even opened her mouth. The house seemed to shake with it. A
few books shook themselves off the shelf above the bed and her
careful pile of fresh clothes tumbled into a huge mess on the
floor. Katie gripped the edge of her dresser while Jaye shrieked
out her inner tornado, wanting desperately to slide under it and
hide from the storm but unable to tear her eyes from her friends’
smiling face. Rage blew the window shut and then shattered it.
Papers blew across the room and an empty glass juddered across the
chest of drawers, thudding onto the pile of clothes. Abruptly, the
noise stopped and her room stopped being tossed around like salad.
Jaye picked the straighteners up and restarted her work. Katie
pushed her away and shot to her feet, whirling to face her.