Running Shoes (The Shades of Northwood) (30 page)

Katie, stopped
with the can halfway to her mouth, frowned and finally saw that Leo
was holding an empty sixth can. “Got another one? No? Then I guess
this is it.” She made a
cheers
motion with her can and
twisted away.

“You’re giving
up!” he called after her. “I didn’t think you’d do that again.”

Katie paused,
one hand on her door and listened to him, trying not to breathe too
loudly and give herself away.

“You’re in
charge of what happens around you, Katie. Nobody else.”

She pushed open
the door and crumpled onto her bed, too wired to sleep, too tired
to cry, too stressed to even call out for Jack. Yes, she needed
him, ached to her core for him, but threw the idea out of her head
the moment it appeared. If he felt her need, he would come. And
what good could that do?

She screwed her
headphones into her ears and set her MP3 player to play all her
rock tracks at ear bleeding levels. She popped the top on a second
can of Red Bull, set it in front of her desk with a few sheets of
paper and pens – she might as well write that long overdue letter
to Nan while she could – and sat down to work. She guessed she was
singing at full blast because she always did unless she remembered
not to and let her mind wander as she wrote the page of idle
chitchat, nothing she needed to think about. She needed to think of
a plan to get out of her cage without getting killed. Why had she
trapped herself in there? As ideas went, it was good in theory but
with the pleasant addition of a whip that could slice flesh like
hot butter, using mesh as protection seemed less than brilliant.
Damn, why were more problems springing out than solutions? She
could let herself out and start running – she could outlast him,
but she doubted she could outspeed him. She could cower in her
circle until he got bored and wandered off – only the man with hate
in his eyes was more than a barking dog.

Maybe your
green eyed cowboy can save you.

Katie had
not
seriously just thought that. Had she? Jack had caused
all this trouble. The hateful man had killed him, let Katie watch
as he did it then rounded on her.

“What the hell
do you mean, again?” Katie shouted, ripping her earphones out and
dropping them to the floor. A solid thump on the wall answered her.
“Oh, come on. This is not the time to be getting all righteous over
words. I’ve heard you say things you shouldn’t up here. Grow up,
Leo.”

“Saying stuff
doesn’t make it acceptable.”

“For God’s
sake… yeah, okay, but we all say stuff without really thinking. You
call me bitch, I don’t like it but it doesn’t upset me.” Much.
“They’re only words.”

“Only? Like
your cuts are only blood. Like this place is only killing us. Like
you were only raped.”

“Yeah, like
that.” Katie took a gulp of her drink and slid her chair across the
carpet to draw the curtains across her partly-boarded up window.
No-one would be able to see through that sheet of plywood and she
couldn’t see out but it felt a bit more like normality to do
something just because. “Can we get over that now? There are more
important things.” Oh God, so many of tem.

“But it’s not
over. It’s happening all the time.” The voice didn’t seem far away
now, like it was being muffled by walls and air and furniture. It
sounded right behind Katie and sure enough, there Leo was, leaning
with his arms folded against her open door. “Why won’t you talk
about it?”

“There are more
important things,” she said again.

“My theory?
Jack needs to come into this world by drawing living energy from
the closest body. He’s been doing that to you, not asking
permission, not giving you a choice, just taking what you have for
his own benefit. You can’t tell me that’s not rape.”

“It’s not like
that.” Leo waggled his fingers in a
come on
gesture. “He
does what he has to do to be with me.”

“Including
making you suffer.”

“What do you
think you’re playing at? Trying to blame Jack for all this… that’s
low, even for you.”

He shrugged.
“When did this all start?”

“About the time
–“
- Jack started showing up.
“He took my memories away
without asking. He didn’t even think my memories might be
important. Oh, God.”

“Huh, guess you
deserve that one,” he grumbled.

“He only did it
to protect me.” Why was she defending Jack? It wasn’t as if this
whole protection thing had gone to plan. “He cares about me and
wants to help me.”

“Uh-huh.” He
shifted position but didn’t try to take a step into her room,
casually but exactly hovering on the carpet line between hers and
the one in the landing. Katie had to give him some credit for at
least staying out of her space if not her business. “I don’t think
you want the case dropped or just to forget it ever happened. I
think you want to find whoever did this to you and make him feel a
hurt as long as it lasts for you. And then a bit longer. Just
because he deserves it.”

“Revenge?
That’s not very Christian of you.”

“This is what
you want, not me.”

“And what makes
you such an expert on my mind?”

“I see you
flinch every time one of us gets within touching distance wondering
if he’s going to hurt you that way. People don’t do that when
they’re over things.”

“Fine, I
haven’t let go of it.” And she wasn’t planning to. “I want some-one
to pay for what they did but it has to wait.”

“Don’t think
it’s ever okay, Katie.” Leo looked away for a second, cleared his
throat and kicked his heels against the edge of the door. It looked
as though he was thinking about something. The boy thought. You
learn something new every day. “You sort of floated away earlier.
Explain.”

“Points for
asking politely.” No-one said a word for a while. Leo just kept
drumming his heels on the door. It was a horribly familiar beat.
“Stop doing that.”

“You mean
this?” He brought his foot down harder, a louder rhythm.

“I hate you so
much.” For a young man nearing the end of his teens, Leo was
surprisingly juvenile in some of his behaviour. Katie knew, though,
that she would do exactly the same thing if she hit on something
that annoyed the crap out of him. She just wouldn’t be so obvious.
A grin crept onto her face – one of actual amusement and, even
though it felt tiny and strange, it was something of an
achievement. For a few seconds Katie felt as if she was
relaxing.

“You’re going
running? Now?”

Katie paused in
the act of strapping her trainers on and reached under her desk for
her rucksack with gym clothes in. “It’s only just gone eight. Still
an hour of light.” Well, an hour of not-night anyway. “When I’m
busy and active, I‘m fine. But the minute I sit down, I’ll fall
asleep. We both know that’s a bad idea.”

“You don’t have
to sleep for him to find you. And you don’t have to bleed for him
to hurt you.”

“I’m only going
to the track. I’ll be fine.” Pounding the streets sounded much
better. She could vent her frustration much more easily and quickly
on hard gravel than on a springy red circle. But the professional
ground drew her to it, promising glory and passion and races she
would never forget.

Laces tied in
rough but loose knots and a Velcro bar stuck over the topp, Katie
shouldered her bag and walked up to him. Leo thrust an arm out,
blocking her exit.

“You don’t have
to let him.”

She stood on
tiptoe to give herself the extra inch she needed to meet his gaze.
“Forget I ever told you anything. I never asked for your help.
Things were simpler when I didn’t like you and you didn’t like me.
Don’t pretend you care.”

“You’re right.
I don’t care one way or the other. But if this can happen to you,
then it can happen to me too.”

“Ooh, let’s
trade places… see if I really wanna stick around.”

“You need to
tell me what’s going on.”

“Going out.”
Katie batted his arm out of her way and shot him the middle
finger.

She had no idea
what she was going to do once she got outside. No plan. Now she was
getting to know her way around, Katie knew it wouldn’t take long to
get to the deserted sports stadium in the north of the town. So she
did a 180 and headed downtown instead.

The streets
weren’t as busy as in the daytime but couples wandered around on
dates, teenagers loitered on corners, older people came out of
random shops – no laws on opening time and no worries about
conducting their business in the growing dark. So much life down
here. So much life and so much energy. Not the pulsing mass she’d
felt on the waste ground like a heavy storm cloud just waiting to
burst but more like a million tiny purple-black threads. They were
barely there on their own but together they were strong and
unbreakable and untested. Katie spread her fingers by her shoulder
straps, wanting to feel all that energy tickle her skin. Once or
twice, an invisible strand touched her. They mostly missed her.
It’s not meant for you. Not yet.
Then she stopped walking,
stopped trying to reach for dark threads, and stared up at the
night sky. A gang of students - they looked a few years older than
her – crossed the road to her right and filed down an unmarked
street towards the buzz of conversation. A red-haired boy turned an
assessing look her way a few yards down the road. It felt like she
was being inspected for damaged parts. Well, there were certainly
enough of those. Fumbling her new student ID card from her wallet,
Katie flipped the lock on the door to her left the way Jaye had
shown her and shut herself in the cavernous building. “Hello?” It
echoed around. The place was as empty as when she, Jaye and Dina
had staged their little break and enter last week. Only that wasn’t
entirely true. Some-one had tidied up and filled the pool.

Katie had
really only come in to the college pool to get away from all the
staring eyes. All those silent questions were burning her up. She
breathed in deeply – the cool, slightly chlorinated air instantly
making everything easier. It was dark. It was quiet. It was the
closest thing to Paradise she had seen in a long while. The water
was just
there
though. Just begging to be splashed in. mind
made up, Katie headed for the lifeguards office to steal a t-shirt
and a towel, stashing her clothes and bag in the corner. Swimming
fully clothed was a stupid idea and skinny dipping, even alone,
brought out the goose pimples.

In this dark
building, the water seemed as black as oil. It shone in slices
where the moonlight caught it. No breeze shifted through the air
but the water seemed anything but still. And, just for tonight, it
was
hers
. The diving platforms looked inviting and, before
she knew what she was doing, Katie clambered onto the five metre,
bounced to the edge and-

And then she
was falling. Time slowed to a crawl but the water’ looking solid
and sharp, rushed up at her forever.

Falling,
floating, flying, whatever people wanted to call this sensation of
cutting a hole through the world, Katie didn’t want any more of it.
Not tonight. She gulped in a last lungful of oxygen and crunched
her eyes against the water inches from her face and crashed
down.

The pool sucked
Katie down like wet cement. She blew her cheeks out and waited for
the bottom so she could push herself back up. When her lungs were
just starting to ache, she wondered vaguely why she hadn’t bothered
to check how deep it was. The thought was funny in its now
pointlessness and Katie began to giggle. Only the stinging in her
throat as her lungs began to take on chemical water instead of
oxygen stopped her. She commanded her left arm to reach up and try
to break the surface. She floundered then gave up. Pain was
exploding in her head, deadening her right arm, threatening to make
her lungs collapse in on themselves. It was so much easier to let
go of everything. No more warring instincts – one telling her she
had to breathe,
shrieking
at her to keep her lungs inflated;
the other shouting not to let any more of this foul liquid in. She
had been lying in the water, eyes closed, muscles heavy, brain
disconnected, for hours. Why had no-one come for her yet?

Maybe this is
how it’s meant to happen.

CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN

Lights blazed
on overhead, striking painful red flashes behind Katie’s eyelids.
There was a splash and a hand on her shoulder. Weight. Grabbing
her, holding her still.

My green eyed
cowboy...

Can’t save me
now…

She floated a
hand out. There was no-one within reach.

And then there
was nothing at all.

BREATHE!

Yeah, breathing
was good.. Breathing was important. Breathing was impossible. There
was air all around for once. And it was doing Katie absolutely no
good. She clawed at the cold tiles underneath her but couldn’t get
a grip. Hands gripped her shoulders and nudged her onto one side.
Convulsively, Katie coughed and spluttered and spat up as much of
the poison bubbling around her respiratory system. The shock of it
made her back arch and eyes fly wide. The fluorescent lights
stabbed straight through her eyes and made the already present
headache blast into fireworks. Tears that didn’t come from pain
sprang out of her. Katie struggled to sit up but she never quite
made it.

“You’re
okay.”

Okay was quite
a strong word for how she was feeling but it was close enough. More
important – who the hell was speaking? Water in her ears was making
her own voice sound robotic. Katie raised her head and moved to
slap it out, decided her head hurt enough already and lay back
down.

“One down, one
to go.”

Craning her
head a few more inches to the right – an
oh my God, that
fucking
hurt!
– to track down the voice showed Jaye sitting
on the floor with her back to the wall and wrapping as towel around
her as tightly as a second skin. Barely a drop of water clung to
the girl but her eyes were red rimmed and mascara streaked.