Ryan's Crossing (9 page)

He turned around to watch Brittney. Flashes of her passed through his mind as he thought of their discussion on the porch swing and in the kitchen, how beautiful she looked this morning and how fragile she’d been just a short time ago after seeing Gracie. He sighed deeply.

You were made for more than you’ve taken hold of.

Matthew! Is this why I’m being sent?

Silence.

Okay, God. If I buy into all this, You’re the One sending me. Am I supposed to stick around and help Brittney through all this?

Silence.

He sighed again. “You know, I’m actually trying to get this.”

You were made for more than you’ve taken hold of.

He looked at the sky. “Yeah. I’m sure that’s supposed to be helpful, but I’m just not sure what to do with it.”

“Are you talking to me?” said Brittney, clicking her phone closed and walking closer.

Ryan’s head swiveled toward her voice. “Huh? Oh, no. Sorry. Everyone okay back in Crossing?”

“Yeah. The party broke up right after we left, so everyone pitched in to get things cleaned up. Logan and Heather have gone home, and your mom and dad were just hanging around to see if we needed anything else. My mom’s going to make a pallet for Caleb in her room and put him to bed shortly.”

“Sounds like things are under control.”

“I am so tired,” said Brittney. “It’s been such a long day.”

“You have no idea,” said Ryan, more to himself than to her.

“What do you mean?” Brittney prodded.

Unwilling to share his thoughts, Ryan turned to humor. “I’m still in a tux.”

She smiled back. “It could be the latest thing in paramedic wear,” she teased. Then she gazed at him steadily. “Come on. Quit deflecting.”

“Ouch. Well, the truth is I’m not sure you’d believe me if I told you. I’m not sure I believe it.” Ryan put his hands in his pockets and looked away. “You ever feel like you’ve been given a message from God, but you’re not sure what to do with it?”

“Sure. Sometimes it feels like I do more wondering what to do with it than knowing where to go next. You thinking about your career options again?”

Ryan met her gaze. “I suppose. Two weeks ago, McWilliam didn’t seem like it was that far away. Now, well… I just don’t know.”

“Is your family growing on you?”

He looked at her for a moment, considering the question. “Maybe. And maybe a few others too.”

She brushed her hair behind her ear. He was beginning to recognize that motion as discomfort.

“Before I got here, I dreaded coming. I didn’t know what to expect out of Rach-, er, Amber, much less the family she was marrying into. And my dad and I haven’t always gotten along.”

“In what way?”

“I feel like I’ve disappointed him, that being a paramedic wasn’t what he wanted for me. I think he wanted me by his side looking for Rach.” Ryan shook his head. “I’ve got to get used to calling her Amber.”

Brittney put her hands in her jacket pocket and shrugged. “It’s okay. I’m sure it’s a tough change.”

“Anyway, things are different from what I thought they’d be.”

“In a good way?”

She looked at him. He decided he could get lost in those eyes. “Yeah, very good.”

“Want to go down to the cafeteria and get some coffee?”

“Sure. Lead the way.”

Ryan rolled over and looked at the clock. 9:17. By the time the hospital got Amy and Joshua settled into a room, it had been almost one o’clock in the morning. He’d driven Chad and Brittney back, watching Brittney let herself in her parent’s front door before he and Chad walked down the road just a bit to get their cars. After that, he had gone home and barely removed the tuxedo before falling into bed.

He grabbed clothes and jumped in the shower, hoping the hot water would help his foggy brain recover. Ten minutes later, he walked into the kitchen to find his mom pouring a cup of fresh coffee and his dad reading the paper.

“I heard you in the shower, so I started a fresh pot.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“How were Chad and Amy when you left last night?” said Victoria.

“Still pretty shaken,” said Ryan, taking a sip of the coffee.

“Did you find out any more?” said Thomas.

“No. They weren’t expecting the results from the bone marrow test until they talked to a doctor this morning.”

“Did you suspect cancer yesterday, son?” said Thomas.

“Yeah, Dad. I did.”

“Was that kind of thing you were doing over the holidays?” said Victoria.

Ryan wondered if his parents would ever put Christmas to rest.
It was past, done. Can we move on?
Aloud, he said, “Kinda.” He took a sip of his coffee. “I had to take three anatomy and physiology classes and some first aid and trauma care type classes for my license, but I’ve picked up a lot during clinicals and hanging around the ERs.”

“You know, the clinic is looking to hire someone full time,” said Victoria in the tone moms get when they have an idea that they want their children to act on.

“I’m not a doctor, Mom,” said Ryan, knowing where this conversation was leading.

“I know,” said Victoria. “But sometimes they have trouble getting a doctor down here regularly. And lots of folks complain because the only person who’s always there is the receptionist. Even the nurses rotate down from Portland. It’d be nice to have someone there with medical knowledge who knows more about you than just what you want to be seen for on one particular visit.”

“I’d bet you could probably handle a lot of what happens in Crossing,” said Thomas, joining forces with his wife. “Seasonal type things like colds and flus, sprained muscles, and that type of thing.”

“You can’t sprain a muscle, Dad,” said Ryan.

“Just something for you to think about,” said Thomas innocently.

Ryan paused to look at his dad. Just something to think about. No debate? No pushing the issue farther?

“Well, we better get moving if we’re going to make it to church,” said Victoria. “Did Keith ever come back upstairs?”

“I haven’t seen him, dear,” said Thomas.

“He’s probably organizing some tool or supply down in the store,” said Victoria.

“I’ll get him, Mom, and meet you over at church,” said Ryan.

He grabbed his jacket and headed downstairs. “Keith? You down here?”

“Right here. Just straightening up these paintbrushes.”

“Want to walk over to church with me?”

“Sure. I’ll get my coat.”

The two boys headed out the door and down the sidewalk two blocks to the church building. The day was unseasonably warm for the last few days of January in Oregon, and the sun shone brightly on Ryan’s back.

“So, do you think you and Brittney will be the next to get married?” asked Keith casually.

The question snapped Ryan out of his thoughts. “What? Why would you ask a crazy question like that?”

Keith shrugged. “Just wondering. You look at her different from the way you look at all the other women.”

“I do, huh?” Ryan considered this for a minute. She is nice to look at.

“You’re smiling,” said Keith.

“You’re annoying this morning.” Ryan reached over and messed up Keith’s hair.

Keith laughed as he pulled away. He moved back to walk beside Ryan, straightening his hair. “If you do, does that mean you’ll move to Portland?”

Ryan shook his head ruefully. “Not that I’m admitting to anything, but would you like that?”

“It’s closer than McWilliam.”

“True.”

“I’d rather have you here with us.”

Ryan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know what’s going to happen. But you’ll be one of the first to know when I figure it out.”

Sitting behind Brittney during church proved distracting. Ryan had to keep refocusing on the service, and he kept glancing over at Keith to see the boy smiling at him like he knew exactly what Ryan was thinking. The boy’s too smug for sixteen!

The service ended, and Ryan stood as Brittney turned to pick up her purse and Bible. Dark circles are beginning to form under her eyes. “How’d you sleep?”

“Okay,” said Brittney.

“Liar,” said Ryan, smiling to soften the effect.

“Yeah, well. I’m a liar. You’re a chicken.” Her eyes twinkled in response, almost like she was daring him to challenge her.

“When are you heading home?” said Ryan, redirecting the conversation back to safer ground.

“Later this afternoon. I have to be back at work on Tuesday, and I’d like to get some things done at home first. What are you going to do?”

“I think I’ll check out a couple places in Portland before heading back to McWilliam.”

“Excuse me.” Ryan’s mom couldn’t have missed what Ryan had just said. Ryan and Brittney both looked at her. “Do you have plans this afternoon, Ryan?”

“At some point I need to head into Portland, Mom, but the time doesn’t matter too much. Why?”

“Well, Faye and I were just talking,” said Victoria, gesturing toward where Faye stood. “Brittney, why don’t you and your parents join us for lunch? It’s nothing fancy, but I’d be pleased if you’d come.”

Ryan looked at his mom suspiciously for a moment. Is she pushing us together?

“Your Dad and I are going to run home first,” Faye told Brittney. “I want to change clothes and grab some of the leftovers from the wedding.”

“Sounds good,” said Brittney. “I’ll ride along and change too.”

“Yes!” said Keith with a fist pump.

Ryan elbowed him in the chest, sending him flying back onto the pew.

“Ow!” said Keith. He broke out in giggles as he stood back up and rubbed his chest.

“Ryan!” Victoria scolded.

“Don’t ask, Mom,” said Ryan.

Brittney looked from Keith to Ryan, smiling as
she
turned to follow Faye out the door.

Chapter 14

BRITTNEY THREW ON HER WHITE
cashmere sweater and a comfy pair of jeans before packing her skirt into the suitcase. Taking one final look around the room, she zipped it up and carried it downstairs. Faye walked out from her bedroom just as Brittney reached the bottom step.

“Do you have everything, dear?”

“I think so, Mom. If not, I’ll be back for Amber’s birthday celebration in three weeks.”

“Are you two ready to go?” said Frank as he walked out of the bedroom behind his wife.

“Let’s hit the road,” said Brittney.

Brittney followed her parents back to town in her own purple Chevy Equinox so she could leave for home after she ate. Her thoughts kept turning to Ryan. Does he want more than just friendship from me? Father, he’s not proved himself trustworthy in the long-term category from what he says about job-hopping every few months. So what do I do if he does move to Portland? It would be nice to hang around him. Do I set a time limit? Find out the longest he’s been at previous jobs? Ugh! Father, it would be great if you’d speak up here. Of course, I probably have to shut up long enough to let you speak, huh?

Brittney sighed. It would be so easy to talk myself into taking a risk with him. Father, help me be wise. To follow You, not necessarily my heart.

She parked beside her dad’s truck in front of Micah’s Hardware. Keith let them in the front door. Walking upstairs, Brittney was greeted by a smorgasbord of cold cuts, cheeses, bags of chips, crescent rolls, and Ryan dressed casually in faded blue jeans and a light blue sweater that matched his eyes. She almost missed the top step.

He reached out to help her. “You okay?”

She smiled up at him, her hand tingling in his warm clasp. “Yeah.”

“Why do I think we’re back to that lying chicken?”

“What’s a lying chicken?” said Thomas, glancing away from the TV.

Ryan grinned at Brittney. “Nothing, Dad.”

Everyone grabbed plates and began to dive into the meats when Brittney’s cell phone rang. She popped a piece of cheese into her mouth and went to check the number. When she saw the screen, she immediately answered the call and started down the stairs.

“Hello.”

“Hey, Britt. It’s Diane.”

“What’s up?”

“Thought I’d give you a heads up. Her kidneys are failing.”