She closed her eyes, stomach swirling, and went for a walk.
*
**
A fine sheen of sweat covered Lola’s skin when she reached their spot.
Her throat was dry and she wished she would have thought to bring a bottle of water.
Unruly locks of hair had fallen from her ponytail and were plastered to the sides of her face.
Not exactly how she wanted to present herself, but it didn’t matter because he wasn’t there.
A warm breeze fluttered her hair in her eyes and she absently pushed it away, examining the rock and surrounding trees.
She reached out and ran her fingers along the jagged and smooth cool stone. How could an inanimate object hold so much meaning to her? This was the place where she’d been reborn, where Lola had
found a reason to keep living. This was where she’d met Jack
for the first time
.
A rueful smile turned her lips upward.
She remembered him now. He’d been so defensive, shoulders hunched, and the cruel words he’d spewed had
allowed tears to flow
more freely
that had desperately needed to.
It was odd how it had actually been cathartic, in some twisted way.
She remembered how he’d flinched, eyes tragic, features conto
rted in misery and regret. His lip had been split, a bruise on his cheekbone.
Jack
’s sorrow
and anger
had touched her
in an unexplainable way
.
Even then
she’d sensed something about him.
Too bad she’d blocked pretty much everything about that day from her mind for months.
She wished she could block out that last night in her mother’s house from her mind as well.
Bob
’s court date was
in two weeks
.
She
closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath, pressing her forehead against the stone, her heated flesh cooling against it.
She spontaneously pulled herself up the rock
, scraping her hands and knees in the process,
and sat down
. The
sun
beat against her back, through the light material of her
hot pink
tank top.
Lola pulled her knees to her chest and watched birds and squirrels navigate through the f
orest, finding solace in nature; the woodsy smell relaxing.
She breathed deeply, in and out, as Blair had taught her through the yoga exercises they did
together
every other day.
It was hard to believe she
only had one
more school year
left
and she could leave Morgan Cr
eek and all the bad memories. Lola swallowed, thinking of her mother. She had a lot of good memories of her too and she tried not to let the bad overshadow the good. Her mom’s absence made it hard to think that way.
She wanted to see her.
Blair told her to let herself heal, to focus on herself for a while and no one else. Lola couldn’t do it.
She couldn’t entirely heal until she had answers. There were so many things she didn’t understand.
There was Jack and his sister and their situation
and all the intense emotions he made her feel
. There was the
fear of
Bob
that never completely left her. There was the pain
in
her
chest
each time she thought of her mom.
Her dreams, her life,
everything
had been put on pause this past year. Every day had been solely set on surviving, more mentally than physically.
Until the end.
She shivered. He’d almost succeeded; he’d almost broken her. Lola blinked her eyes and made herself think of other stuff; of her future.
It was almost unimaginable t
o think of leaving Blair
. They’d only just reconnected and a year didn’t seem like enough time to get to know each other. It wasn’t.
She was all she had of her father and his side of the family.
Blair was the only living relative Lola had other than her mother.
Lola thought of starting at the community college in
Lansing
to get her generals
done and then continuing
on from there
.
Her aunt had told her
she
c
ould live with her while she went to college.
Nothing Lola had to decide today.
Today was the day she told Jack how she felt about him.
15
Lola’s footstep
s slowed the closer she got to the house
. What if
Jack
wasn’t there? What if his father
was
?
Lola knew Jack’s father wouldn’t do anything to her, not physically anyway, but just knowing what he’d done to his son was enough to make her loathe and fear him at the same time. He was a man like
Bob
Holden and ‘man’ was too g
ood
a word for him.
The air was stifling and Lola wiped her moist brow.
The neglected white farmhouse loomed before
her;
the yard with all its many trees reminded her of the spot they met at. It was still and silent, the sounds of nature all Lola heard.
She took a deep breath, rounded up her nerve, and knocked on the door.
Lola heard footsteps. The door opened and there stood Isabelle in a
purple
and white striped shirt and white capris.
“Hi.” Lola smiled. “How are you, Isabelle?”
Isabelle held the door
so Lola couldn’t see past her
, looking so much like Jack with her churlish expression Lola sucked in a sharp breath.
Now
she could see the resemblance
.
“Jack’s not here.”
Something in her face gave Lola pause. Her eyes darted back and forth as she gnawed on her lower lip. She was
scared
.
“What’s going on, Isabelle?” Lola asked in a low voice.
“Nothing,” she answered quickly. “You should leave.” Isabelle tried to shut the door and Lola put a hand out, stopping her.
“Jack’s here, isn’t he? Is he hurt?” Isabelle’s face crumpled, tears streaming down her face. “Isabelle! Where
is
he? What happened?”
“Go away!” she wailed, pushing harder.
Fear and adrenaline gave Lola strength and
she
shoved
the door open
so wide
it banged against a chair. “I’m not leaving until I see Jack.”
“He’ll be back any minute. You can’t
be
here, Lola!
Please
.” Isabelle clutched at her arm as Lola st
ormed
into the house. Her resistance turned into clinging
; Lola holding her up
.
“Jack wouldn’
t want
you here
. He wouldn’t want you to see him
,” she whispered, eyes luminous with sorrowful tears.
Lola’s breathing picked up, heart racing.
Her eyes finally took in
the empty vodka bottles on the counter, the shattered dishes on the kitchen floor,
the smear of blood on the doorframe.
Her throat tightened.
Oh, God, please let him be okay.
“You have to go.”
Jack’s sister clung to Lola, sobbing uncontrollably.
“You have to go.”
“I’m not leaving,” she hissed, staring Isabelle down, “so I suggest you tell me where he is.
Now
.
Before your dad gets back.”
Isabelle nodded, eyes wide, and pointed a shaking finger to the living room. “Upstairs.
Second room.
Please.
Help him
.
”
I will
, Lola silently vowed, sprinting for the stairs.
She didn’t think about consequences, she didn’t think about what could happen if and when their dad showed up. Lola only thought of Jack.
She had to get to him, she had to help him.
The second bedroom was dark and the metallic smell hit her as soon as she opened the door.
Lola had never been
as
afraid in her life as she was walking to that bed.
Moments that altered you; defined you as who you were
; t
hat was one
of them, seeing Jack like that.
It was like Lola’s heart stopped, her brain raced but formed no logical thought, and it was surreal.
Lola’s world changed in that instant.
She was aware of all she could lose.
Jack wasn’t moving, his chest barely lifting with
each shallow breath he took
.
Even in the dim light Lola could see his face was a myriad of bruises and swelling. She looked around the room, searching for a light switch. When she turned it on she almost wished she hadn’t.
Lola pressed a hand to her stomach, thinking she might vomit.
His beautiful face.
It was unrecognizable with cuts and blood. Lola wanted to touch him, but was scared she would hurt him even more.
“Jack?” she whispered, voice cracking.
His eyelids fluttered, but didn’t open. With a sinking sensation, Lola realized he couldn’t. Jack’s eyes were swollen shut.
“Shouldn’t…be…here,” he struggled to get out
.
Lola broke down and cried, instantly and hysterically.
Again and again her hand went to touch him and she pulled it back. She sank onto her knees beside the bed. Even his hands were cut and bleeding, but she didn’t know how much of that
blood
was from other wounds.
A noise
alerted her they weren’t alone and she jerked her head to the side, posed protectively over Jack.
Isabelle hovered near the door, shaking and pale.
She tried to speak and finally choked out,
“He’s never been this hard on him
before
.”
“What
happened
?” Lola demanded, unable to take her eyes from Jack’s wrecked face. He wore a shirt and shorts; his legs were unaffected, but she didn’t know about his upper body.
He needed a doctor.
“Jack told him about moving out
.
I thought…I thought he was going to kill him
,” Isabelle said, breaking down. She
sank
to the floor
and
covered her face with her hands, weeping.
Determination overtook Lola and she got to her feet. She allowed it to wipe out the pain and fear, needing to be strong and focused. “Where’s a phone?”
Isabelle didn’t answer, too lost in her own pain to hear Lola.
Lola knelt beside her and pushed her hands away from her face. “Look at me, Isabelle.” She shook her head, trying to get away.
Lola grabbed her shoulders and shook her.
“
Look at me
.”
Isabelle
did then and something in Lola’s expression quieted her.
“I need a phone. Jack needs a doctor.”
“No!” Isabelle shook her head. “He doesn’t want a doctor.”
Lola set her jaw and spoke slowly, “Your brother could have internal bleeding, wounds we don’t even know about,
broken bones
.
He.
Needs.
A. Doctor.”
“Jar…
ed
,”
was whispered
raggedly
from
across the room
.