Sanctum (Guards of the Shadowlands, Book 1) (35 page)

“This way.” I took Nadia’s hand and started running in the direction I’d seen the Sanctum. Even if Malachi hadn’t shown me where it was, I swear I could sense it, like a string
tied around my heart, tugging me toward it. Hopefully, that would keep me from getting lost. Maybe, over the next few decades, I’d get to know the city as well as Malachi did. Maybe I’d become as good a Guard as he’d been.

And maybe, just maybe, they’d allow me to have his quarters once he’d been freed. Maybe they’d let me live in that space, dwelling in my memories of him. I wondered how long his scent would linger there. I knew it was stupid to think like that in light of what he had planned to do, but I couldn’t help it.

We’d run at least two dozen blocks when I took a quick left turn between two dilapidated, multistoried town houses. Our feet splashed into what appeared to be wet cement, and I stopped dead as a violent rumbling shook the ground. The giant puddle of thick, gray ooze clutched at my boots and then slithered away, piling upon itself, doubling in size. I backtracked rapidly as an embryonic house grew in front of us. It was no taller than a man, but it was expanding rapidly, blocking our path. Clutching Nadia’s hand, I turned to go back, and ran right into a frizzy-haired woman who was all elbows and cheekbones. She fell over and lay still, never taking her eyes off the pulsing, oozing house.

“I want one of my own,” she chanted to no one in particular.

“Time to reroute, Nadia,” I said, tugging her along a side street. We’d just managed to detour around the proud homeowner and her slimy newborn town house when a Mazikin
charged out of the alley to crouch before us, baring his four fangs and hissing.

“You,” Clarence snarled. “I could smell you coming. You killed my family, girl.”

Nadia whimpered and got behind me. Apparently, although she wanted it all to end, death-by-Clarence was not the method of her choosing. I could actually understand that. It didn’t sound good to me, either. I pushed her behind a Dumpster and stepped away from her, wishing I felt a little stronger. And less dizzy. “I didn’t kill your family. Well, maybe one, but he
really
asked for it.” I widened my stance and scanned the mouth of the alley. “So, are you on your own now?” I might be able to handle one stinky old man, but not if he brought friends.

Clarence growled at me and tensed, preparing to spring. “Sil and the others have already gotten out, stupid girl. We have finally spread beyond these accursed walls. Now the fun begins. I’m on my way to join them. Sil will be happy to hear how badly I damaged you before I left.”

I smiled grimly but groaned inwardly. This was going to be my problem to deal with if I became a Guard. Sil had succeeded. The Mazikin were going to multiply and keep causing trouble—on both sides of the wall. This was only the beginning of the battles I would have to fight. I hoped that once the Judge sentenced me and I belonged in the city, I’d be strong enough to do it.

It looked like I’d have to fight my first battle before then, though. I was tired, woozy, and raging with grief over Malachi’s betrayal—but I hadn’t forgotten what he’d taught me. I rolled my neck on my shoulders. “Come on then, Clarence. Show me those funky teeth up close.”

Clarence obliged and Nadia screamed. He barreled into me, chomping down on my ribs and driving me backward until we slammed into the Dumpster. He came up with nothing but a mouthful of leather.
Thank you, Michael
.

I raised my elbow and nailed Clarence between the shoulder blades. He threw me to the ground and scuttled out of the way before I could grab him. He ran for Nadia, but I jumped up and kicked his ass—literally. He howled and hit the pavement but got up quickly and ran at me again. This time I stepped sharply to the side, grabbed Clarence’s shoulders, and delivered a knee strike to the face. Clarence was a toothless wonder after the first blow. With the second, he was unconscious.

I stood over him, fingers curled over the knife. I did not want to do this. But I’d made so many mistakes, and I didn’t want to make another. I figured I’d better get used to it. I knelt and did what was necessary. Nadia screamed again. And I felt nothing. Again.

I held out my bloody, shaking hand. “Come on, Nadia. Let’s go.”

We were close. The streets were brighter, and there were more people on the sidewalks. More Guards, too. They watched me with suspicion as I dragged Nadia past, but I knew it was because there were two of us together, not because they recognized me. There was no way Malachi could have notified them of my escape this quickly. For the first time, I was really glad there was so little modern technology in hell.

The dazzling white building was just ahead. I increased my pace. “Nadia, we’re almost there,” I breathed. “It’ll be over soon.”

I hit the steps with wild eagerness and did not see Raphael before I crashed into him. He caught my shoulders in his incredibly warm grasp and held me before him.

“You made it.”

I struggled to pull free. I had made it too far to fail now. “Don’t,” I pleaded. “I know what you were planning, and you can’t. Please. I need to get her in there.”

“I’m not here to stop you,” he said as he released me.

I looked around, expecting Malachi to emerge from some shadow, knives drawn. I wouldn’t let him take Nadia from me. I wouldn’t let him hurt her.

“He’s not here, Lela. Not yet. But you should hurry. I have no doubt he’s on his way.”

I tilted my head and looked at Raphael. Something about him just did not add up. “How did
you
get here so fast?”

He gave me his brilliant smile. “Come. Your case is being expedited.” He took my arm and steered me up the steps, allowing me to tow Nadia along. A line of people snaked out of the building and down the street. They looked different from the other residents of the city. Alert and aware. Their faces were bright, their skin almost glowing. These people were talking to each other, some deep in conversation, some laughing and shaking hands. They looked excited. They looked hopeful.

I followed Raphael past the crowd. He led me through the enormous, carved wooden doors and into a lobby with high, arched stained-glass windows. Oceans, mountains, angels, and…were those hyenas?

The sun shone through the intricate designs, making a mosaic of the white-marble floor. The sun. It couldn’t be found anywhere else in the city, but here it was vivid and piercing.

Before us was another massive door, this one stretching from the floor to the top of the cathedral ceiling, several dozen feet up. “I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong,” said Raphael as we came to a stop at the head of the line.

“Um, I’m wrong and you
are
just a doctor?” I asked absently, distracted by the magnificence, and general scariness, of these
new surroundings. Malachi had been right. This wasn’t like any courthouse I’d ever been in before.

Nadia didn’t seem to notice. She didn’t even look around. She was just waiting. Like a lemming, maybe. Waiting for her turn to jump off the cliff. She looked nothing like the people waiting in line to see the Judge. My heart sank. Even if I could get her released, would she be all right on her own?

“No,” Raphael corrected. “You’re wrong about Malachi.”

I stared at the floor and nodded pathetically. “I know. I
was
wrong about Malachi. But I understand now.”

“Are you so sure?”

“I heard you. I heard what he was planning to do.”

Raphael chuckled softly. “Yes, men in love do crazy things.”

My jaw dropped. “
Crazy
isn’t quite the right word.
Homicidal
might be more appropriate, don’t you think?” The enormous chamber entrance began to open. I watched its progress with dread.

“No.
Misguided
was the word that came to my mind. But also
noble. Selfless. Sacrificial
.”

“You people have a really strange set of values,” I snapped as the courtroom doors swung wide.

Raphael laughed again. I turned to look at him and took an immediate step back. His face was blazing, lit up by the stained
glass and the sun, completely transformed, now fearsome and beautiful and completely inhuman.

Holy crap.

“Listen to me, little girl.” His voice echoed off the marble, reverberating back at me, shaking my insides. “Malachi would never harm Nadia.”

Raphael had never been anything but gentle, but I realized I had no idea what he might be capable of. At that moment he looked like he could bring down the building just by raising his eyebrows. Maybe this was
the
Raphael. Maybe I had just pissed off a freaking archangel.

“Why didn’t you help him, then?” I squeaked.

He changed instantly, back to his average, freckled appearance, so quickly I wondered if I had imagined his momentary…whatever that had been. I squinted at him.

“Because Malachi is meant for something else, Lela,” he said, like it should have been obvious to me. He inclined his head toward Nadia and shrugged. “He wasn’t meant to sacrifice himself for
her
.”

He might as well have smacked me in the head.

“Sacrifice
himself
?” I whispered as the world tilted on its axis. He wasn’t going to hurt Nadia. He was going to offer himself so Nadia could be freed. For
me
. So I wouldn’t have to. “Oh my—”

“You’ve got that right,” Raphael said conversationally as he shoved me and Nadia into the Judge’s chambers.

I PULLED NADIA UP
the aisle, unable to see what lay at the front of the room. It appeared to stretch on forever, all pristine white, making the walls and floor and ceiling hard to tell apart. Guards stood at attention every few yards. Not even their eyes shifted as we walked by.

“Is this the place?” Nadia asked.

“Yes, this is the place,” I replied. I shielded my eyes with my hand and peered into the brightness. When we passed the final Guard, I saw a figure in the distance sitting at a small white desk. “We’re going to talk to this…this…”

I couldn’t figure out what to call the person I was looking at. As we drew closer, I could see it was female, which surprised me. Malachi had referred to the Judge as male. But this person
was definitely a woman. In fact, she looked a lot like Diane. Surrounded by the stark white walls, her skin and robes were darkness, deep and soothing. Her hair was silver. Her smile was friendly. For some reason, that made her scarier.

“Lela and Nadia. You came a little sooner than I’d expected, but you’re welcome here anyway.” Her voice was soft and thick, like caramel. “Let’s get this hearing started,” she continued, and her voice rose and sharpened, ringing in my head. “Here’s how this works. You make your plea, and I’ll hand down my verdict. Who wants to start?”

She grinned and looked at Nadia. Nadia stared at the floor.

The Judge looked at me and let out a boom of laughter. “Baby, why are you looking at me like that?”

“I was sort of under the impression you were a…” I had this horrible thought, like, what if this really
was
a man, just a totally feminine one, or one who enjoyed cross-dressing? What if I insulted her…or him?

She clutched her side with laughter that echoed through the chamber. “Lela, you are so funny. I
am
a woman. I thought that might be better for you. Plus, I felt like wearing heels.”

I stared at her, wondering why I had the sudden urge to fall to my knees and hide my face. Her laughter died. She tilted her head and examined me.
Bug, meet bug zapper
.

“Make your case,” she commanded.

“Your Honor,” I began shakily, “I’m here to ask you to, er, consider…lettingNadialeavethecity.” It all came out in a rush, and I swayed in place.

The Judge shook her head and smiled without showing her teeth. “Baby, I don’t think Nadia’s quite ready for that.”

My heart sank again, but…well, my mouth didn’t sink with it. “But she needs—”

The Judge’s laughter was harsher this time, razor edged. It hurt my ears. Next to me, Nadia fell to the floor and folded her arms over her head. I wanted to help her. But I was having trouble getting my arms and legs to obey me. The Judge silently glided closer to me. It seemed like her feet weren’t really touching the floor—nothing moved that smoothly or quietly—but her flowing robes concealed whatever lay beneath.

“You think you know what she needs? Baby, you don’t even know what
you
need. You come here thinking you can deal with me. You think you can convince me to let your friend out for free. You obviously have no idea who you’re messing with.”

I shook my head. “I don’t expect you to let her out for free.”

I caught the predatory spark in her eyes as I spoke. She looked like she might eat me for breakfast. Or maybe just a snack.

She snorted. “I’m not going to eat you, baby.”

She was this weird combination of sharp and soft, like I wanted her to hug me, but I also wanted to run like hell.

“Lela, do you want me to let you out? I will, you know. You don’t belong in this city. You may have needed it once, but not anymore. You’re beyond that now.” The Judge raised her arm and pointed. The Countryside unfurled before us. It was breathtaking: golden and soft, lush with life. It made my chest ache, but in a good way.

“Do you want to go out there?” she asked gently.

“I do.” I took a breath, getting ready to make my offer, to do what I had come here to do. I took a few seconds to think of Malachi. I was still reeling from Raphael’s words and the fact that I’d left Malachi without saying good-bye, without thanking him, without telling him how much I felt for him, without apologizing for all the pain I’d caused him, without begging his forgiveness for misjudging him. And now I had to make a commitment that was going to keep me from him for a very long time, if not forever. For a crazy moment I wondered if he might wait for me outside the wall. I dismissed that pathetic thought quickly—that was just me being selfish again. Why should he sacrifice more for me than he already had? No. This was for the best. I would remain here, and he would go. He would be free to move on without me to hold him back, to hurt him—