Savage Autumn (15 page)

Throughout the long day there were many times when Joanna reproached herself for the reaction she’d had to Windhawk. He had humbled her into submission and then
left her. Her heart felt heavy and bruised because she now knew that she was hopelessly in love with him.

Love wasn’t something one invited, and in her case it had taken her unaware. Could the first flicker of love have come to her that first day when Windhawk had saved Tag’s life?

Morning Song said that Windhawk loved her, but Joanna thought Windhawk’s sister must have been mistaken. He could not love her if he had taken the life of her brother. At least not the true lasting love that she desired.

All day Sun Woman kept Joanna busy, and she welcomed the hard work, hoping it would distract her from thinking about Windhawk. But it didn’t matter how hard Joanna worked, he still dominated her thinking.

She had been amazed at how easily she had followed Sun Woman’s silent directions. She had helped grind chokeberries and chop buffalo meat. Morning Song had told her that they were making a food called
pemmican.
The meat would be pounded and mixed with berries and fat, then allowed to dry. It would then be stored for the long winter months when food was sometimes scarce.

Joanna sighed, feeling as if she had done something useful. She smiled when Morning Song handed her the waterskin to drink from. After her thirst had been eased, Joanna glanced at Sun Woman, hoping the older woman would show her approval at the work she had done, but Sun Woman showed no emotion whatsoever.

Windhawk rode away from the village at the head of his warriors. His plans for taking Joanna as his wife would have to wait until he returned. There had been a report that a group of Crow warriors had been seen near the mouth of the Milk River. The Crow were old enemies and must be driven from the Blackfoot lands.

Windhawk had been gone for several days. He had not told Joanna where he was going, and she had been too proud to ask when he would return.

The days Joanna spent with Sun Woman and Morning Song passed quickly because they were so busy. It was the nights which were long and lonely. Sometimes Joanna would lie awake listening to the sounds coming from the village: the barking of dogs and the sound of laughter that filtered into the lodge. She would listen to the singing and chanting which would often go on way into the night. At these times Joanna would realize that she was an outsider, because she was never included in any of the festivities.

Joanna was working beside Sun Woman and Morning Song. They were enjoying a quiet sort of companionship, as they dried the meat from a large buck which would provide them with food in the long winter months ahead.

Joanna had learned that Windhawk not only provided meat and skins for his mother’s and sister’s needs, but he often gave aid to the poor families of his tribe. She was amazed at how a Blackfoot man would take such good care of his family. The wealthy members of the tribe were expected to help the less fortunate. Windhawk would often give a whole deer or a buffalo to a needy family.

Since Windhawk had no sons to help him with his large herd of horses, he allowed several boys from poor families to tend his horses, thus giving them the experience and rewarding their families with meat and horses.

It was as if all the tribe belonged to a big family, with each member helping the other when the need arose. Joanna thought of the difference between the Indian world and the world she came from. The whites did not share the brotherhood that the Blackfoot took for granted.

She had often observed Gray Fox’s two wives, surprised at how well they got along. Morning Song had told her the two wives were also sisters. It was a strange relationship, to say the least. They each watched over all the children, drawing no line between which child was their own. Joanna knew if she were married, she would never allow her husband to have another wife.

Joanna saw a woman pass by that she had often observed
from a distance. The woman’s nose had been cut off and she had been horribly disfigured. The other members of the tribe seemed to turn away from her when she walked by, as if they were shunning her. The woman’s eyes were downcast, and she was little more than skin and bones.

Joanna felt pity in her heart for the poor, unfortunate woman. “Morning Song, who is that woman?” she asked, nodding to the disfigured woman.

“Do not look at her. Her name is Flying Bird, and she has disgraced her husband by being with another man. The society her husband belongs to had her nose cut off so all who saw her would know she was unworthy to look upon.”

Joanna’s eyes widened in horror. “What happened to the man?”

“Flying Bird’s husband claimed his horses and then beat him,” Morning Song replied.

“It does not seem fair that the woman was so severely punished and the man got off so easily,” Joanna said, shivering at the injustice.

Sun Woman had been listening to the conversation, and she glanced at Joanna. “It is a bad thing for a wife to dishonor her husband.”

Joanna found many things to admire about the Blackfoot people, but some things seemed harsh and unfair to her. She compared their laws with the laws which had allowed her uncle to come into her home and take over her and Tag’s lives. Perhaps all societies had their bad laws, but the incident made her more aware than ever that she didn’t belong to Windhawk’s world.

It didn’t matter how hard Joanna worked to prove herself to Sun Woman. Windhawk’s mother still looked at her sourly and very rarely talked to her unless it was to criticize her.

There was a great commotion; dogs started barking, and women and children started shouting and running toward the river.

Joanna’s heart leaped in her throat when she saw Windhawk and several of his braves crossing the river. Everyone in
the village had gone to meet the returning warriors except Joanna. She watched with misgivings as Windhawk approached. She fought against allowing him to see her joy at his return.

When Windhawk saw Joanna, he rode past the others until he reached her. She raised her eyes to give him a defiant look, but her mouth opened in surprise. His face was painted! There were black streaks across the bridge of his nose that fanned out over his cheeks.

“Are you not glad to see me, Jo-anna?” he asked as he dismounted.

She raised her head haughtily. “No! Why should I be?” Joanna tried not to stare at his face, but she had never seen him wear face paint before. It somehow made him appear menacing.

“Are you on the warpath?” she couldn’t help asking.

He smiled slightly. “No. Why should you think that?”

“Your appearance is…your face is painted.”

He laughed aloud. He had forgotten that his face was painted. “Going to war is not the only time the Blackfoot paint their faces, Jo-anna.”

“I wasn’t expecting you so soon,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t suspect she had missed him.

He smiled as if he knew what she was thinking. “I have a gift for you, Jo-anna.”

“I don’t want your gift,” she said. In spite of her words, her curiosity was piqued.

His lips curled into a smile. “If you do not want the gift, I will just keep it,” he told her, watching her face closely.

She lowered her eyes, studying the tip of her riding boot. After a moment of silence she raised her eyes to him. “What is it?”

“You will have to walk with me if you want me to show it to you.”

He took her arm and led her to his lodge. Joanna saw a white horse tied out front, and she frowned, thinking it looked familiar.

Windhawk watched her footsteps lag and her face light up.

“Fosset!” She ran to the horse and moved her hand lovingly
over his haunches. “Fosset, my poor baby! What has happened to you?”

The once proud animal was little more than skin and bones. His mane was matted with burrs, and his once sleek hair was caked with mud.

Fosset whinnied and shook his mane as if he recognized Joanna, “What has happened to him?” she asked Windhawk. “He appears to have been mistreated.”

Windhawk reached out and patted Fosset’s neck. “Tall Bear found him wandering freely but three days ago. I recognized him as your horse and gave Tall Bear three of my horses for him.” Windhawk smiled slightly. “Tall Bear could not understand why I would pay so much for such a bag of bones. You and I know when Fosset has had the proper care, he will be worth twelve horses.”

Joanna laid her head against Fosset’s neck. He was her last link to her past life. “Thank you for bringing him to me, Windhawk. I am so glad to have him back. If the truth were known, Fosset probably saved my life.”

“How can that be?”

“We had been forced to hitch Fosset to the wagon and he did not take well to the halter. It was his fault that the wagon went over the cliff.”

Windhawk nodded in understanding, guessing just what had happened. “We shall have to see that Fosset gets the best of care.”

After Fosset had been washed down and the burrs removed from his mane, he was given hay and grain and put out to pasture. He would now be able to frolic and romp with Windhawk’s horses until he grew stronger.

Windhawk held his hand out to Joanna, and she shyly placed her hand in his. His dark eyes drew her gaze, and Joanna felt a flicker of excitement.

She wondered if tonight he would take her in his arms and show her the warm loving world he had once introduced her to. Her face flamed, and she lowered her head, but not before Windhawk caught the wistful look in her eyes. He laughed
softly, thinking it would not be too long before he would have Joanna where he wanted her. But he knew unless she was willing, he might frighten her away. Perhaps he would give her more time before he took her as his wife. He had already begun to construct a tipi for his mother and sister. It would be completed by tomorrow.

Windhawk was known for his patience, and he had exercised a great deal of tolerance where Joanna was concerned.

Joanna’s disappointment deepened when Windhawk showed no more interest in her the rest of the day. When she went to sleep that night her thoughts were troubled. She lay restlessly beside Morning Song, wishing for sleep.

Every so often her eyes would stray to where Windhawk lay across the room from her. He was a puzzlement to her. He had been kind and considerate of her feelings today when he had given Fosset back to her. Tonight he acted as if she didn’t even exist.

Joanna closed her eyes, remembering how his wonderful hands had felt caressing her body. Was she a fool, that she wanted that which would destroy her in the end? She should be counting her blessings that Windhawk was ignoring her. She should be…but she wasn’t.

Several weeks had passed since Windhawk first brought Joanna to the Blackfoot village. She had settled into a daily routine of hard work. There was no longer any resentment in her, because somewhere along the way she had become resigned to her new life. Deep inside she knew she was only biding her time until she would be able to return home. Until that time she would have to accept that which she could not change.

Sun Woman had sent Joanna into the forest to gather firewood.
It was the first time Joanna had been allowed to be alone, and her heart felt light. As she made her way through the woods, she almost forgot her mission had been to gather wood.

She turned around in a wide circle and gazed at the beauty of the multi-colored leaves on the large cottonwood and birch trees.

It felt so good not to be under the watchful eye of Sun Woman. Joanna gathered up several bright scarlet-colored leaves and tucked them into the pocket of her frayed riding habit. Hearing a soft chattering sound, she looked up to observe a furry gray squirrel leaping from branch to branch, then scampering into a hole in the tree.

Walking a little further into the woods Joanna stood beneath a huge pine tree. She loved the way its branches were spread wide and reached into the heavens, as if hoping to gather a piece of the sky. Her heart was attuned to nature in this wild and untamed land. Joanna knew that when she left she would always remember the beauty she had found here.

As she absentmindedly picked up several pieces of wood, her mind seemed to transfer to the tall chief of the Blackfoot. She very rarely saw him any more, and when she did, he seemed totally unaware of her.

What did he want with her? she wondered. Too often now she would remember the closeness they had shared, and found herself wanting him to notice her. She was changing against her will. She feared she had become complacent with her life, except where Windhawk was concerned. Sometimes at night she would dream of his hands touching her in the most intimate way. She would awaken, yearning for him to hold her in his strong arms.

Joanna dumped the wood she had gathered into a pile, and sat down, resting her head on her knees. Had Windhawk been dissatisfied with her the night they had made love? she wondered. Was that why he never came near her any more? Joanna didn’t like the way her mind was beginning to work, so she
stood up and gathered up the discarded wood. She knew Sun Woman would not be pleased if she didn’t hasten back to camp.

Windhawk stood in the shadows of a pine tree and observed Joanna. Her beauty was not marred by the shabby gown she wore. He had exercised forbearance where she was concerned, waiting for her to become accustomed to the Blackfoot ways. Many times he wanted to go to her and gather her into his arms while pouring out his love for her.

Windhawk noticed the glorious curtain of Joanna’s hair hanging down her back like a flaming rivulet. Her slender body was so sweetly curved that he felt his body ache to hold her close to his.

He smiled at himself—tonight was the night he would take Joanna as his wife. He had finished the tipi for his mother and sister, and they were now moving some of their belongings into it. He felt wild excitement knowing that tonight he would caress that silky skin and taste those inviting lips.

Joanna heard a twig snap and turned around quickly to find Windhawk standing just behind her. Her face flamed because she had been thinking of him, and feared he would be able to tell.

He smiled and took the wood from her. “My sister tells me that you are learning to speak our language, Jo-anna. I want you to know this pleases me greatly,” he said in the Blackfoot language.

“It is very…difficult to learn,” she answered him, stumbling into the unfamiliar language.

“I am on my way to see how Fosset is doing. Would you like to ride along with me?”

Joanna looked into the black eyes that were as soft as velvet. “Oh, please, may I?”

He smiled. “Yes, but first we will take the wood to my mother.”

Joanna had to run to keep up with his long strides. She was excited at the thought of getting away from the village, if only for a short time. Windhawk saw that she was having trouble
keeping pace with him, so he slowed his steps to match hers. He smiled to himself, thinking he would have to learn to match his steps with those of a woman from now on…his woman—Joanna!

Joanna rode on a pinto pony and had no trouble keeping up with Windhawk’s large stallion. It was wonderful to feel the sun on her face and the wind in her hair. Her eyes were bright with excitement, and Windhawk smiled at her child-like pleasure.

Soon they reached a secluded valley, and Joanna saw the large herd of horses that frolicked about playfully. It took her only a few seconds to locate Fosset. Nudging the pinto forward, she rode up to the white horse and dismounted. She walked around Fosset, examining him carefully, and seeing that he was completely recovered. Joanna blessed Windhawk with a smile.

“Thank you for taking such good care of my horse,” Joanna said, smiling brightly.

Windhawk dismounted and ran his hand over Fosset’s silky mane. Joanna was watching his hand as he stroked and caressed the horse. She felt a tightening in her throat, remembering what it felt like to have those hands caress her body. She glanced quickly into Windhawk’s face and saw that he was watching her closely.

“Would you like to ride him, Jo-anna? He should not be ridden for any distance yet, but it will do Fosset no harm if you want to ride him here in the valley.”

Joanna could not find her voice, so she merely nodded. Windhawk placed his hands about her tiny waist and lifted her upward. For a brief moment she was suspended above his head, and stared into burning black eyes. She felt her body tremble as his hands seemed to burn into her skin, even through her clothing.

Windhawk placed her on Fosset’s back and smiled, knowing that the time was right to take Joanna unto himself. Her eager young body was ripe and willing. He knew she would fight him. It would be hard for her to accept being his wife at first, but not for very long, he thought confidently.

Joanna reached down and patted Fosset’s neck and he whinnied. She was sure he recognized her and was glad to see her. Suddenly, she had the urge to ride the gelding swiftly, and she looked down at Windhawk.

“Will you accept a challenge?” she offered.

He raised a black eyebrow. “I have, and I will.”

“I will race you to that far pine tree just beyond the valley.”

Windhawk leaped on his stallion. “Jo-anna, there should be a reward to the winner of the race. Shall I name the terms?” he questioned.

“Yes, that will be fair,” she agreed, feeling whatever the challenge, Fosset wouldn’t let her down.

Windhawk looked serious for a moment. “If you win, I will give
Puh Pom
to you.”

Joanna nodded hesitantly, feeling he was much too confident. “If you win, will you expect me to give Fosset to you?”

He smiled and reached across to push a flaming curl away from her cheek. “No, should I win I will tell you what I expect from you.”

This time Joanna agreed wholeheartedly. Fosset was prancing about and it was difficult to hold him in check without a rein.

“Done,” Joanna said, nudging Fosset into a run. She laughed and looked over her shoulder as Windhawk raced about five paces behind her. She was confident that he would not be able to catch her. She laughed out loud as Fosset came to a clump of bushes and leaped over them with easy grace.

As they raced swiftly through the valley, Joanna was sure there had never been an animal to match Fosset. The other horses scattered when they approached them, and Joanna glanced back at Windhawk to find he was gaining on her. She began to feel uncertain of Fosset’s ability and bent low over his neck, urging him faster.

When they neared the tree which was their destination, Fosset was at his top speed. Joanna glanced sideways to see that Windhawk had drawn even with her. Had she been foolish
to issue a challenge to Windhawk? She watched in dismay as his horse shot out into the lead and he pulled up his mount when he reached the tree.

When Joanna reached his side she halted Fosset. “You won,” she said, with very little enthusiasm.

“Perhaps it was an unfair race, Jo-anna. Fosset is accustomed to taking orders with a bit in his mouth,” Windhawk offered generously.

“What will you claim as your prize?” Joanna asked, raising her head and looking him full in the face.

Without speaking, Windhawk reached out to her and lifted her onto his horse. Joanna looked up into his face shyly, expecting to see a triumphant smile, but instead she was met with a searching glance from his dark eyes.

“My reward is to taste your lips,” he whispered.

Joanna had no time to think as he dipped his head and his lips lightly caressed her mouth. Raising his head, he shifted her back so her head rested against his arm. Joanna was too stunned to react as his lips moved closer to hers. She heard a groan as his mouth covered hers, but she didn’t know if the sound had come from her or Windhawk.

They had each hungered for the other’s touch for so long that they were lost in the beauty of the kiss. Joanna’s arms went around his neck and his hands slid down her back in a caressing movement.

Suddenly Windhawk broke off the kiss, much to Joanna’s disappointment. She glanced up at him to see an amused smile on his face. Too confused to speak, she lowered her eyelashes as her face flamed. Windhawk laughed and raised her chin.

“Never have I received such a valuable reward after winning a race.” He touched her cheek. “Would you care to have another race, Jo-anna?”

“No!” she answered hurriedly, trying to get down. “I want to go home.”

Joanna had not realized that she had referred to the Blackfoot village as her home, but Windhawk noticed.

“I will take you home,” he said, laughing once more. Without hesitating he placed Joanna back on Fosset and they rode away from the valley.

Joanna’s mind was troubled. After ignoring her for so long, why had Windhawk suddenly decided to pay attention to her today? she pondered.

She was further puzzled when they rode along silently as if nothing had happened between them. When they reached Windhawk’s dwelling, Joanna slid off Fosset’s back and entered the lodge without a backward glance.

She heard Windhawk ride away and she leaned against the lodgepole, trying to quiet her thundering heart. What a strange man Windhawk was! Joanna had ceased to fear him; she feared instead her own wayward heart.

It was now evening and the shadows of night had begun to fall. Sun Woman handed Joanna a doeskin gown, and motioned that she was to put it on.

“My mother says Windhawk wishes you to wear this gown, Joanna,” Morning Sun told her.

Joanna held up the soft doeskin gown, noticing that it was embroidered with many different colored beads. “Why?” she asked, puzzled.

“Windhawk wishes you to put your old life behind you and look to your new life.”

Joanna set her jaw stubbornly. Even though her blue riding habit was worn in places and faded from many washings, she had no intention of wearing the Indian gown, nor did she intend to forget who she was. How could Joanna forget that she had a father who would be worried sick about her by now.

“I will wear my own gown, Morning Song. I will not allow your brother to tell me how to dress.”

Morning Song’s eyes widened in admiration. She would never have the courage to defy her brother. She loved him and he had always been kind to her, but he was the chief, and no one had the right to refuse his commands.

“I would not want you to be punished, Joanna. It would be wise if you would do as Windhawk says.”

Joanna folded her arms in a stance of defiance. “No, I will not wear this gown.”

Sun Woman’s eyes twinkled when she realized that the white girl was refusing the gown. Her son would show the flaming-haired one that his word was not to be disputed. She wished that she would be able to watch when he punished the girl for her disobedience.

Morning Song shook her head. “Please, Joanna. I do not think you understand that my brother said you were to wear the gown.”

“I understand all right, but I am not of your tribe; therefore I am not subject to Windhawk’s commands.”

Morning Song’s eyes were sad. “My mother and I must leave you now. When we are gone, Windhawk will come to you.”

Joanna noticed that Sun Woman was gathering up clothing and blankets, which she wrapped into a bundle. “Where are you going? Can I not go with you?”

“My mother and I have been moved to a new tipi which my brother had erected for us. This is now your lodge.”

Joanna grabbed Morning Song’s hand. “You cannot leave me alone with him! Please ask your mother to allow me to accompany you.”

“It is not my mother’s decision. You will have to ask Windhawk.”

Joanna watched helplessly as Morning Song and Sun Woman left. She wanted to beg them to take her with them. She had very little time to reflect on her fears, however, for at that moment Windhawk swept into the lodge.

He looked at her, and then at the gown she had thrown on the floor. He said nothing as he walked over to her and picked up the gown. Joanna gritted her teeth when he extended it to her.

“First, you can put this on and then I will have my meal,” he said in a quiet voice that was laced with irony.

“You can eat or not, that is your privilege. But I will not put that gown on.” She raised her head and clenched her fists tightly together.

“You will put on the gown; then
you
will serve the meal, Jo-anna.”

“Not as long as you live,” she said in a voice that trembled with anger.

He reached out and took her arm. Joanna flinched, fearing he would strike her, but he only laughed softly. “Jo-anna, do you remember the horse I once told you about?”

She blinked in astonishment. “Yes,” she replied, wondering what point he was trying to make. She had expected him to be angry with her. She waited, not knowing what to expect because he had thrown her off balance for the moment.

“You will remember that I told you I trained her with patience and kindness?”