Savage Desire (Savage Lagonda 1) (11 page)

"You speak of the death of your parents?"

"Yes, partly."

"Mara, I do not wish to offend you again, but there is something I need to know, and there is no way to find out, other than to ask you straight out."

"What would you ask?"

"Mara ... is there someone, a man that you love?"

She felt tears sting her eyes, and she choked them
back. This man, whom she did not know, was pulling at
her, making her want to confide in him.

"I love a man, yes."

Tajarez felt as if his heart had been ripped from his
body. Standing up, he looked down at her, not seeing her
face, but knowing every detail all the same.

"I will leave you now. But before I do, will you tell me,
are you happy? Will you marry this man?"

The tears came freely now. "I will not marry the man I
love. He does not want me."

Tajarez sat down once more. A flicker of hope fanned to life inside of him. "Tell me of this man, who must be
crazed not to want you," he said softly.

Mara wiped the tears from her face. "I do not know
you. I could never discuss anything so intimate with you.
What is your name? Where do you come from?"

Tajarez was beginning to hope that she still loved him,
and felt lighthearted. He laughed softly. "Names, it is always names with you."

"It is not my habit to speak with a stranger about my intimate thoughts."

"I do not feel as though we are strangers, Mara. Tell
me of your love. Sometimes it helps if you can talk about
your troubles. I know this to be true."

Mara considered for a moment. Maybe there was some
truth in what he said. She felt she could talk to this man.
He would go away after tonight and she would never see
him again.

"It is a very painful subject. I would not ordinarily discuss it with anyone other than my family, but I will
tell you. Maybe, as you say, it will help. I love someone I
met last spring. The circumstances are not important. Most probably I would not be alive today if it were not for him. Anyway, I fell in love with him. We were from different worlds, and he did not love me."

Tajarez's heart was overflowing with happiness. She still loved him. He prevented himself from taking her in his arms. "You are sure this man did not return your love?"

"Yes, I am sure. You will most probably be shocked if I tell you I think he already had a wife. I do not even think he liked me very well."

"Should you not forget this man? Perhaps you will find another whom you will love."

"No, I will never love another."

"You are young yet. There is a lot of time for you to find another."

Mara sighed. "That is what my brothers keep telling me, but they do not understand. I will never love another as I do him. I am not sure I would even want to. Why can they not understand? I love him and I always will."

Mara felt his hand on hers, and she did not pull away.

"You are wrong on two accounts, Mara." With gentle pressure he pulled her toward him. At first she was too shocked to react.

"You see, he was not married, and he does love you. He has never been able to get you out of his mind."

Mara thought she must be losing her grip on reality. Her mind was telling her what she wanted to hear. This could not be Tajarez. She struggled to be free from him. Someone was playing a cruel joke on her. She pushed against his arm, and her hand came in contact with something hard and solid that spanned his upper arm under his jacket—an armband!

"Who are you?"

"Have the days been long and lonely for you as they have  for  me, Mara?  Have you  found peace within yourself, or are you in torment as I have been? Do you hunger for another time, another place, as I do?"

Mara felt weak and began to tremble. His hand touched her hair ever so lightly. This could not be Tajarez. He could not speak English.

"Who are you?" she repeated.

He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. "Oh, Mara, my beloved, how long I have dreamed of holding you in my arms once more." He raised his face to her. "Say my name, Mara. You know who I am."

"Tajarez!" she cried out in agony.

"It is I, beloved, and you were very mistaken when you said I did not love you. Never has a woman been loved as deeply as I love you. Kiss me, Mara. Let me feel your lips on mine once more," he said in a passionate voice.

His breath was warm against her lips. His lips gently covered hers. She surrendered herself to him completely. The night suddenly seemed filled with thousands of bright stars and joy washed through her, taking away all her loneliness and doubts.

Her heart was beating to the tempo of his. She had many questions to ask him, but for the moment, nothing mattered but that she was in his arms and that he loved her. When he released her, she rested her face against his broad chest, listening to the erratic beating of his heart.

"Tajarez, it is you. You are here."

He buried his face in her hair that smelled so sweet, of some unknown fragrance. "It had better be me. I would kill any man who I found kissing you as I just did." His voice was light and teasing, but it held a threat, all the same.

"How did you find me? When did you come? How long can you stay?"

He laughed deeply. "I will answer all of your questions in due time. But first you must answer a question for me.”

It felt so good to be in his arms, so right. It was where
she belonged. "What would you like to know?"

He was quiet for a moment. "This trip you are going on, is it so important to you?" He rested his face against hers. "A year is a very long time, Mara."

She reached up and shyly touched his face. "Are you asking me not to go?"

"Yes, I am asking you not to go."

She moved out of his arms. He had hurt her very badly
before. She could not let him hurt her again.

"A year is not so long, Tajarez, and I do love Paris. I have many friends there whom I have not seen in quite some time."

"Gentlemen friends?" he said through clenched teeth.

She smiled to herself. She was feeling in command,
thinking he sounded jealous, and she decided to test him.
"Yes, I have a number of gentlemen friends living there whom I like very well. Paris is always such fun."

He grabbed her by the shoulders roughly and pulled
her toward him. "Do not play games with me, Mara. I am
not one of your gentlemen friends who stand in line
waiting for a smile from you." His hand moved up her
throat and cupped her chin. "I am a man, Mara, a man
who usually gets what he wants, and I want you." His lips
came down on hers painfully. She tasted her own blood as
his mouth assaulted hers. There was pain, but there was so much more. Her head was whirling, and she felt a
weakness as her arms went around his neck. She felt her
body relax against his. She could feel the hard muscles underneath his coat. He released her mouth and his lips moved to her throat.

"Tajarez, please," she said weakly.

He was kissing her eyes, her neck, and then her lips once more. Just when she thought she would faint from his kiss, he pushed her roughly away, and placed his
hands over his face. "Do not ever tease me again, Mara,"
he whispered in a shaky voice, "or I will not be responsible for the consequences."

Mara was plainly shaken. She had only meant to tease him a little. She had not expected such a brutal reaction. As he had said, he was a man, and there was something almost primitive about him at the moment. What did he expect of her? Once he had cast her aside, and now he was here, demanding what?

"What do you want from me, Tajarez?"

His head snapped up, and she heard him let out his breath. "Everything, Mara. I want everything you have to give a man."

She was determined that he could not come back into her life and then leave as he had before. She had suffered greatly because of him. "Could you be more specific, Tajarez?"

His hand touched her face. "You want me to say it, Mara, very well. I want your love. I want you beside me for the rest of my life. I want you to be the mother of my children. I want you in every way a man can want the woman he loves. Is it not proof to you that I love you when I have come so far to find you?"

"Why did you leave me last spring?"

"You were white."

"I am still white."

"It no longer matters."

"Are you asking me to marry you?"

He was silent for so long she thought he would not answer her. Then he spoke softly: "I must ask you something first. I believe it will offend you, but the answer is most important, or I would not ask."

"If it offends me, I will tell you."

"Are you a maiden still?"

"I do not understand."

"Are you . . . have you ever been with a man?"

Her innocence seemed apparent, but he must hear her
admit it before he could ask her to be his bride. He pulled
her into his arms once more, knowing the embarrassment
his probing question would cause her, but the prince royal could not marry unless the maiden was pure, so there would be no question that the children from the royal couple were indeed of royal blood.

"Mara, have you ever been on intimate terms with a man?" He felt her stiffen in his arms, and she jerked herself free, rising quickly to her feet.

"You dare to insult me! I do not think I will talk to you
anymore. You may leave."

He rose and stood in front of her. "It is not my intention to insult you. Trust me. I must have your answer."

"Never!"

He grabbed her and shook her roughly. "Answer me,
Mara," he demanded.

"Take your hands off me. No man has dared ever ask
such a question of me. Do you think so little of me to believe I would let a man touch me in the way you
suggest? I knew you would think little of my morals after the way I let you kiss me beside the river, but I can assure
you no one other than yourself has even kissed me the way you did."

She was angry and hurt, and wanted to lash out at him.

His deep laughter made her even angrier.

"You dare to laugh at me, Tajarez. I wish you would
just go." She stomped her foot, furious with him.

"I am laughing because you told me what I most wanted to hear, beloved." He drew her into his arms
against her protest. "I love you, Mara, and I want you as my bride. If I ask it of you, would you leave your home
and family and journey to my home to live with me as my
wife?"

Mara could not believe she had heard correctly. She loved this man with all of her heart and could think of nothing she wanted more than to spend the rest of her life with him, but there were many unanswered questions that she needed the answers to.

"You have asked me a question. Now I have some things that you must clear up for me."

He smiled and led her back to the bench where he sat down and then pulled her down beside him. "Ask what you will of me, Mara, and I will answer. I want there to always be truth between us."

She asked the most obvious question first. "How did you learn to speak English so quickly? You speak so well, one would think you had spoken English for years."

He smiled. "I have in fact spoken English since I was a small boy. I was taught by a man named O'Malley. The only good he ever did in his life was to verse me so well in your language. I have come to believe it was fate that brought him to my home. Does that answer your question?"

"Are you telling me that you understood everything that I said to you when we were together last spring?"

"I remember every word you ever said to me. Some of them were quite provocative."

"How can this be! When I think of some of the things I said to you, I could die of embarrassment," she said, covering her face with her hands.

He pulled her into his arms and cradled her head against his wide chest. "I particularly liked it when you told me how handsome you thought me."

She nestled her head against him, not wanting to break contact with him. "Why did you not talk to me and let me know you could speak English? You took unfair advantage of me. Had I known you understood me, I would never have said some of the things I did to you."

"I know, beloved. It was most unfair of me." He rested his chin on top of her head. "You cannot know how much I wanted to talk to you, but I was on a sacred quest, and it was forbidden to speak until I returned home. Can you understand how I felt, loving you, and not being able to tell you?"

She raised her head. "You were forbidden to talk?"

"Yes, Mara, but if you could have read my eyes, they would have told you of my love for you. I did finally break the silence when I told you my name. It seemed important to you at the time."