Savage Desire (Savage Lagonda 1) (9 page)

Anias watched his cousin with a frown on his face. "Suppose the man plays you false, Tajarez?"

"He will not. He will not rest Until the gold is in his possession, and he can tell no one we are here, for fear of having to share the gold. I could not have chosen better had I handpicked the man myself."

Tajarez leaned against a tree. "Look at me, Anias. I am like a young boy with his first love. I find my impatience to see her very hard to control. If I had wings I could fly to my love."

"You love this maiden much then?"

Tajarez looked toward the heavens. "Wait until you see her. You will love her yourself." Then he looked at his cousin and smiled. "No, perhaps you should not love her, for if you did I would become very angry with you. She belongs to me."

"Tell me again what she looks like."

"How can one describe the beauty of a sunset, or the rainbow that reaches across the heavens after a rain, or Mara? To look upon her is almost painful, so great is her beauty. Her eyes are green like the leaves on the trees. Her golden hair curls about her beautiful face. Her voice is like music, and her skin is soft to the touch. I cannot imagine anyone being unmoved by her beauty."

Anias's eyes flamed. Already he desired the woman that his cousin loved. His mind had conjured up a picture of her, and jealousy burned in his heart.

"I must see this maiden who has won the heart of my cousin. Who knows, she may prefer me to you."

"Make your joke, Anias. But if it were so, I would have to kill you."

Anias knew there was a real threat in Tajarez's words, although they were spoken in jest. "Suppose she will not return to the Seven Cities with you? A year is a long time. Perhaps she loves another, or she might even be wed by now."

"I cannot tell you how I would react if she would not come with me, and if she is wed, she will very soon become a widow."

"She is white. Does this not matter to you?"

"If she were other than what she is, she would not be Mara."

The sun was beginning to rise. It painted the eastern sky with a rainbow of color. Both men became silent, for they heard the sound of a lone rider coming down the trail.

The white man halted his horse not twenty paces from where they were hidden.

Tajarez and Anias waited to make sure the man had not been followed. After they were satisfied he was alone, Tajarez stepped from behind a tree so quietly that the man was startled by his sudden appearance.

"You have what I need?" Tajarez asked. His voice did not show the excitement he felt.

"Yeah, I know where you can find the girl, and I have brought you clothes, and grand they are. What you want them for?"

"That is not your concern. Where is Mara Golden?"

The man was studying Tajarez closely. He had not been able to see him clearly the night before. "Lord have mercy, I ain't never seen an Indian that looks like you. Big son-of-a-gun, ain't you? And got gold on your arm there. Where in the hell did you come from?"

Tajarez's eyes narrowed. "Where can I find Mara Golden?"

The man smiled nervously as the dark eyes burned into him. "She lives outside a town called St. Louis. It will be easy enough for you to find her with this here map I drew."

"Tell me what the map says."

"You follow the river you will find about six miles from here." He pointed, indicating the direction. "Follow it in the direction of the rising sun. It will eventually empty into a large river called the Mississippi."

"How will I know this river?"

"Can't miss it. You will know it when you see it."

"After I come to the Mississippi, then what?"

"Follow the current. It will eventually take you to St. Louis."

'Then what?"

"I can't give you the exact location. It is a very grand house that sits on a hill overlooking the river."

"Can you tell me anything else?"

"I talked to the young lieutenant who escorted her home. He said when she got home she found out her Ma and Pa were both dead. Said she cried and carried on something awful!"

Oh, no, my beloved, Tajarez cried silently, remembering Mara speaking of her mother and father with love. He felt pain in his heart for what she had suffered.

"I figgered out who you are," the white man said. "You are the one who rescued her and left her at the fort."

"You have done well," Tajarez said, not bothering to confirm or deny who he was.

"You speak 'bout as good English as I do."

"White man," Tajarez said coldly. "I speak English better than you."

"Can I have the gold now?" the man asked.

Tajarez grabbed him by the shirt front and held him in a grip of iron. "If you have played me false, I will return and kill you. There is nowhere you can hide where you will be safe. This I swear."

"I have told you the straight of it, I swear I have," the man said in a voice that quivered with fear.

"You are not much of a man, but it is no more than I expected from your race. You told me where to find Mara, not knowing if I would harm her or not. Go from my sight, and take the gold. May it bring you everything you deserve."

The man rode off, thinking he was lucky to have gotten away alive.

Tajarez turned to Anias. "Come. We go to find my love."

Tajarez did not see his cousin's eyes narrow, nor was he aware of the malice directed at him from the man he loved as a brother.

CHARBONNEAU INFORMED ME THAT HE SAW AN
INDIAN ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE RIVER, AT THE TIME I WAS ABSENT IN THE WOODS. I
SAW A SMOKE IN THE SAME DIRECTION WITH
THAT WHICH I HAD SEEN ON THE 7th... IT APPEARED TO BE IN THE MOUNTAINS.

—
William Clark

6

Mara sat in her mother's garden. A warm breeze stirred the air, carrying with it the fragrance of roses.

A year had passed since her return home, and it was spring once more. The lonesome sound of a dove cooing in a nearby tree drifted on the wind, but Mara did not hear it, nor did she notice the flowers that were in full bloom and peppered the garden with a rainbow of color.

It had been a long year, full of heartache and grief for her. Her mind reached back to last spring. She remembered the amazement of the soldiers at the fort when she had shown up at the gates, alone and unharmed.

Colonel Meyers, a portly gentleman of indeterminate age, who had been in charge of the garrison, had received word of her capture by the two Indians, and had sent out a patrol to search for her. He had listened kindly when she told him of the daring rescue by Tajarez, and he had been surprised when she described Tajarez to him. It was apparent from the colonel's reaction that he did not fully believe  her  story until she showed him the golden armband and the mink robe.

The colonel was as mystified by Tajarez as she had been. He assured her he knew all the Indian tribes that populated the United States and its territories, and Tajarez could belong to none of them.

The soldiers at the garrison had treated her kindly and had escorted her safely home.

When Mara arrived home it was not to the happy reunion she had envisioned. The house was shrouded with mourning. Her father had drowned while he was searching for her. The boat he was traveling in had capsized, and his body had not been discovered until the next day. George and her two brothers had brought him home for burial.

When Mara's mother had been told of her husband's death, she had collapsed. The strain of losing her husband and daughter had been too much for her. Tess told Mara that her mother had just given up, and she and Mara's father were both buried on the hillside overlooking the Mississippi river.

Mara's brothers had not been home when she returned. Tess told her they refused to give up searching for her. George had been sent out to locate them and let them know Mara was safe.

There had been no one to comfort her in her grief but the ever faithful Tess. Mara had shut herself in her room and refused to see the many friends and neighbors who came by to offer their condolences. Mara was carrying a huge burden of guilt. She blamed herself for the death of her mother and father. If she had not gone into the woods that day, they would still be alive.

Her grandparents had come from Philadelphia to take her home with them, but she refused to come out of her room, and they had returned home feeling defeated. Tess had begun to fear for Mara's sanity, and was relieved when her brothers finally returned home.

When David and Jeffery entered Mara's bedroom, she had not responded to them, but had cried all the harder. The family physician had been summoned and his report had not been good. He told her brothers that if Mara did not pull herself out of her depression she would waste away to a hopeless invalid.

Mara thought often of Tajarez. She could not seem to forget him. When she was not grieving over her mother and father, she was heartbroken at Tajarez's rejection of her. Her love for him ran deep, and she felt lost and alone without him.

Mara knew she would never have come to terms with her grief if it had not been for her brother Jeffery. She remembered the day he had come charging into her room like an avenging angel. He had thrown the covers off her bed and grabbed her by the shoulders, lifting her out of the bed. Propelling her across the room, he had forced her to look into the mirror that hung over her vanity.

"Who is that stranger I see, Mara? She has stolen my sister from me. Is it not bad enough that I have lost my father and mother? Must I lose my sister as well?" he had said angrily.

Mara had stared at the thin, pale face in the mirror, not recognizing her own image. Tears of grief had spilled freely down her face as she rested her head on Jeffery's shoulder.

"You do not understand. It is my fault they are dead. I killed them!" she had cried.

He had forced her to look at him. "Do I not understand, Mara? Do you not know it was I who capsized the boat? I had lost an oar and was trying to retrieve it when the boat turned over. Should I blame myself, and shut myself in my room?"

"Oh, no, Jeffery. You are not responsible for Father's death," she had told him with tears in her eyes, knowing she was not the only one carrying a great burden. She had been selfish, thinking only of herself.

"I bear no less guilt than you, Mara. Did the love our parents had for you mean so little that you would forget what they taught you about forgiveness? Can you forgive me for capsizing the boat?"

"It is not a question of forgiveness. It was an accident. I will not have you blame yourself for Father's death."

"No more than I will allow you to blame yourself, Mara. Let Mother and Father rest in peace, and rid yourself of this guilt. I hardly recognize my lovely sister in the person you have become."

After that day Mara had begun to accept her parents' death and put her grief aside.

It was now one year since her return, and as she sat in her mother's garden, she wondered what the future held for her.

Next week was David and Linda's wedding. Although Linda was a few years older than Mara, they were very close. She already seemed to be a part of the family. The wedding was going to be held here, since the Golden home was larger than Linda's family home and could accommodate all of the wedding guests.

Mara wondered if she would ever marry. At the moment she doubted it. There had been any number of suitors for her to choose from, but she was not interested in any of them. Her mind was always taken up with thoughts of Tajarez. She compared every man she met with him, and somehow they never quite measured up.

How was it possible to miss someone so much, when she had known him for such a short time?

David refused to discuss Tajarez with her. At first he had been sympathetic, but as time passed and she did not seem to be getting over her feelings for him, he had lost patience with her and refused to discuss the matter. Jeffery had been more understanding, but he too could not see why she held on to her memory of Tajarez, refusing even to see other gentlemen.

Mara went through the motions of day-to-day living. She answered when she was spoken to, but hardly contributed to a conversation without being asked. She knew she was making her brothers miserable with her actions, but she could not pretend to be happy when she felt so dead inside. Instead of time being a great healer, in her case, it only made her love Tajarez more.

She liked to imagine what he would be doing, and sometimes she would think of him with a wife, or maybe even children, and would feel even worse.

The stigma of having been captured by the Indians was still with her. Most of her neighbors had been kind, but she could tell they did not really believe she had not been molested by the two Indians who had abducted her.

Tess seemed to be the only one she could really talk to about Tajarez. She had confessed to Mara that when she had been a young girl living in Boston she had met and fallen in love with a young Italian sailor, but her folks had refused to let her marry him. She had never gotten over him, and that was why she had never married. She told Mara to keep the memory of her love, but to put it where it belonged, in the past, and begin to live in the present.

There are many different kinds of love, Tess had told her, and "while you may never love as deeply again, some day you will meet a man that you will love enough to build a life with."

Mara bent down and pulled a weed from her mother's flower bed. She was like the weed, living where she did not belong, on the fringes of someone else's life. At seventeen, her life seemed a deep void going nowhere.

Mara did not hear the footsteps as Jeffery approached her.

"How are you, baby sister? Tess told me I would find you among the flowers." He had been in Philadelphia for the past two months and she had missed him greatly.

She threw herself into Jeffery's arms, while he laughed down at her. "I did not expect you until next week. Did Grandmother and Grandfather come with you?"

“No, they did not feel their health would permit them to make the trip, but they send you their love. Did you miss me?”

Mara stood back and studied Jeffery's face. He was tall, and very handsome, with blond curly hair and green eyes. Everyone commented on how much he and Mara favored each other. Tess said if Jeffery were a girl they could pass for twins. Not that Jeffery was not manly looking. He was every inch a man, and the young ladies flocked around him hoping to capture his attention.

"You know I missed you, Jeffery. With you gone I had to play chess with David, and he never loses as you do."

Jeffery laughed heartily. "Sassy mouth," he teased fondly. He looked her over from head to toe. She had gained all the weight back that she had lost, and she had ripened into womanhood. With the color back in her face, Jeffery thought she might well be the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, even if she was his sister. "I believe you are even more beautiful than when I left."

Mara smiled. "Thank you, sir. If you are not careful you will turn a girl's head."

"What's the matter? Do you not have enough gentlemen telling you how pretty you are?"

Mara raised her eyebrow. "No more than a dozen so far today."

Jeffery became serious. "How are you doing?"

Mara hesitated for a moment. "I am happy for David and Linda."

"That is not what I asked and you know it."

"Do not ask me, Jeffery. You will not like my answer."

Jeffery frowned. "I thought by now you would have come to your senses. Put this man out of your mind. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. I cannot tell you how many men asked me about you while I was in Philadelphia. When the wedding is over, return with me to Philadelphia. In July, Aunt Nora is going on an extended vacation in Europe. She asked me to beg you to accompany her. If you will consent to go, I will go with you.

Mara loved her Aunt Nora. She was her mother's twin sister, and her only son was married and living abroad in Paris.

Jeffery eagerly awaited her answer. Seeing how much it meant to him, she smiled. "I will go to Paris, if you will go along. I have been thinking that David and Linda will need some time alone after they are married. How soon shall we leave?"

"How about a week after the wedding? That will give you time to pack and put the house in order before turning it over to Linda." Grabbing her around the waist, he swung her around in a circle. "I was prepared to bribe you if you would not consent to go. Grandfather said he would give you the money to buy a completely new wardrobe when you got to Paris. He said to spare no expense."

Mara laughed and pushed herself out of his arms. "I see there was a conspiracy going on behind my back. I shall buy the town out." Mara was warmed by the love and concern of her family. She would try to put up a brave front. The trip to Paris and the offer of a new wardrobe meant very little to her.

"Tell me, Jeffery, did you meet anyone special while you were in Philadelphia? When are you going to settle down to just one girl?"

"Well, Miss Busybody, as it happens, there
was
something special that happened to me."

Mara linked her arm with his and smiled brightly. "Tell me about her."

"Well, there was Marsha, the redhead; and Lisa, the blonde. Peggy with the black hair and Annette . . . no, I do not think I will tell you about Annette."

Mara laughed deeply and pulled him toward the house. "You are such an egotist and have been spoiled by all the attention you receive from the females of your acquaintance. One day you will wake up and find all the young ladies married. Then what will you do?"

"When that happens, I shall be too old to care. In any case, live life while you can, I always say."

"Yes, Jeffery, live life while you can. One never knows what tomorrow will bring." Jeffery watched as Mara's eyes clouded over. "Remember our dreams, Jeffery? We were going to go exploring the wilderness."

"That was childhood fantasy, Mara. One has to grow up and put childhood dreams behind him."

"I do not like being grown up. It is too painful."

"You are thinking of the Indian, Tajarez?"

"I always think of him. It is as if I am lost and adrift, not knowing where I am going. Somewhere in this world is the man I love, and for some reason he did not want me.

"It is just as well, Mara. You would have found your love for him sorely tested if you had become his squaw. Good Lord, Mara. You have seen the Indian women on the streets of St. Louis trudging along behind their men. Is that what you want for yourself?"