Save Me From Me (7 page)

“The world can be so ugly. Why wouldn’t I want to capture all the beautiful moments as a reminder that they exist?” I watch as he soaks in what I’ve said.

“Humph.” From the corner of my eye, I can see him watching me as I snap the shots. “All the beauty left my life the minute you took off,” he says quietly before standing up. I hear his phone buzzing in his pocket. Sighing, he says, “I gotta go. I’ll catch ya later.” He turns around, and walks away as I reply.

“Bye, Gage.” As I wonder why he’s all of a sudden in a rush, I focus my camera on him, taking a couple shots as he walks away. I’m not really sure what to think about him these days.

My phone rings, and I welcome the distraction as I see Tyler’s name across the screen.

“Hey, Brother,” I answer.

“Hey back. I was just calling to see how you’re doing,” Tyler says on the other end of the line.

“I’m doing as good as can be expected.”

He sighs. “Only because that’s what you choose. How’s your truck? Gage told me about it not starting.”

“It’s good. He had to put a new alternator in.”

“Alright. Well, just be careful with that situation,” he says with caution.

“What do you mean?” I wonder what I could possibly have to be cautious about.

“I mean, I’m pretty sure Gage and Loralee have something going on.”

“Oh, yeah?” I ask with disbelief.

“Yeah, the night you showed up at the bar, he was letting her place her hands all over him until he heard you were on the way. She wasn’t very happy about that. I actually think she originally showed up out there with him. Good thing her friends were there.” He laughs.

“Huh, well, that sure explains a lot.” I remember how mad she was at me. The whole time I thought it was because I had interrupted her head action, but in reality, it was because of Gage. “Well, I’m glad to hear that you are alive and kicking today. How ya feelin’?

“I feel slightly better than shit.” He laughs. “Never let me drink that much again.”

“Hey now, I ain’t yo momma,” I tease as I stand up and head for my truck.

“Yeah, yeah. Thanks for taking care of me though. That’s something you’ve been doing a lot lately. Taking care of everyone but yourself.” He sighs. “I worry about you.”

“Pfft. No need to worry about me, Tyler. I’ll be just fine.”

“If you say so. Anyways, just be careful, especially around our bitch of a sister. She’s not worth the cost of getting in trouble. I’m leaving to go back on the road for a while. This welding gig I have is starting to kick my ass.”

“Yeah, right. I bet its helping you get a lot of ass.”

“Like I need help.”

Is it normal, after a one chance meeting, to find yourself so intrigued by someone that you have thoughts about him? A person whose name you don’t even know? I don’t know how many times I’ve caught myself daydreaming about the hot guy from the bar last night. Even when I was playing pool with the boys, I could feel him checking me out from where he was sitting. No matter what I was doing, I was very aware of what he was doing. What can I say? I was curious about him. It’s not very often you walk up on a super-hot guy getting head and wish that it was you giving him the blow job of his life. It’s not every day that thinking about a guy’s dick in your mouth is a complete turn on, but damn if it doesn’t make me rub my inner thighs together every time that image of him comes to the forefront of my mind, which is often. It only doesn’t when Gage is around. It’s as if my mind knows that it’s not right to be fantasizing about another man around him. Smart mind.

I pull into the driveway and park behind my mom’s car. I’m glad to see it’s here, but dread running into Brandy again. Or even Billy for that matter; that dick always takes her side. I take a breath and give myself a mental pep talk. I need to keep the shit talking to a minimum. That is if she’s actually here and starts running her mouth at me again. For the most part, I can keep it in check, but there are the times when you can only take so much. And the more I’m around her, the shorter and shorter my fuse has become.

I slowly walk up the short, graveled drive, and let the sound of the shifting stones shifting attempt to clear my head. I have too many thoughts going on at the moment. The breeze whips my hair in my face and makes me miss being near the dock. The gentle wind there made the hotness from the sun enjoyable. Not to mention, the closeness of Gage as well. That guy. I just don’t know what to do with him.

The front door is unlocked and as soon as I shut it, my two nephews are barreling into me.

“Aunt DJ, where’ve you been?” asks the oldest one, Shane, while Dean is still grasping onto my leg for dear life.

I lift up my camera to them. “I just went to the dock to take some pictures. What have you boys been up to?” I ruffle their hair as I make my way to the couch, dragging Dean along with me.

“We’ve been bored. Grams won’t take us to do anything.” Shane huffs and sits next to me as he throws his hands in his lap.

Mr. Dean is already snuggled up in my lap, just where I like him. These boys have become my world since I’ve moved back. Even if I weren’t worried about my mother, these guys would definitely keep me around. I hate how my sister yanks them around all the time. For the most part, they live here until she goes off on one of her tangents and uses them against everyone. My mother instantly caves, of course. I tell her to let Brandy take them because she’ll be bringing them right back anyways. She wouldn’t know how to be a mother even if she tried to. But my mom is too worried about the boys being around shit that no child should have to see, and I actually agree for the most part. I don’t want them exposed to that world.

“Well, I have to go to work early in the morning. How ‘bout we go grab some ice cream and maybe rent a movie to watch tonight? How does that sound?”

Dean jumps off my lap. “Ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream. I want chocolate.”

“You can have whatever you want, Sweet Boy.” I turn to Shane. “You, too, Handsome. I’ll even let you guys pick the movie. But first, where’s grandma? I need to go tell her that I’m taking you boys with me.”

“She’s back in her room. With the door closed. I think she’s on the phone,” Shane whispers.

“K. I’ll be right back. Hold still.”

I lightly knock on my mom’s door. I don’t want to be too loud in case she is on the phone. I slowly open it, and peek my head in. “Mom, you in here?” I hear her sniffling and I can see the light in her bathroom through the cracked door so I make my way into her room. I lean against the wall and just talk to her through the door. “Why you crying, Mom?”

She takes one last sniffle, and I can just picture her wiping away the proof of her tears before she pulls open her door and tries to act as if nothing is wrong. “Oh, it’s nothing.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Mom. What’s wrong?”

“Now Dani, it’s nothing for you to go and stick your nose in.” Well, that stung a little bit. Does she really think I walk around butting into everyone’s business?

“I’m asking you what’s wrong, Mom. I’m not trying to go and start shit.” She realizes how I took what she said and quickly apologizes.

“Sorry, I’m not trying to take it out on you. It’s just Brandy.” She gives me a weak smile. “We got into it earlier when she dropped off the boys. I called her just now to tell her not to come back to get them. She didn’t like me telling her what to do with
her
kids,” she says mockingly.

“I’m sorry, Mom. She’s a bitch. Brandy runs all over you, and she’s a horrible mom to those kids out there. It’d be better for all of y’all if she didn’t show back up.” I sigh, knowing that day will never happen. “Speaking of the kids, I’m going to take them for ice cream and to pick out a movie for tonight.” I grab my mom and pull her in for a hug. “I love you, Mom. I have your back, and I will
always
be here for you.”

“I know, Baby Girl. That’s what worries me.”

Work sucks as usual, and the question that plays over and over in my mind is ringing loud. Is this all that life has in store for me? I mean, there has to be more, right? If not, then what’s this life for? My sister has been MIA since she brought back my mom’s car along with the boys. Who the hell knows where she is or where she even stays. But as long as she leaves the kids with us, my mom doesn’t care. She doesn’t question anything Brandy does. Heaven forbid the time bomb that detonates when any questions are actually asked. It’s getting so old. I despise druggies. I wish the losers would just get help, but I’m not sure that will ever happen unless it’s court appointed.

Sitting on the counter near the register, I stare out the window and daydream while it’s slow. I watch Adyn as she pulls into work fifteen minutes late.

“What’s up, Hooker?” she asks as she walks behind me to clock in.

“Same shit, different day. You, slut?”

“Same dick, different day,” she replies and I laugh. She’s engaged and complains. I’m single and complain. Not about being single, but about life sucking. We are some pessimistic mofos, but it’s all in good fun. Well, for the most part.

“I’d like some dick,” I say, taking a bite of my jerky stick. Adyn sits on the counter facing me. Joy isn’t here today, so we don’t have to worry about death glares.

“I bet I could find you some.” She wiggles her brows.

“No way. I don’t want you picking me out any puppy pound dick. I’m not that desperate. Plus, I have standards,” I say as I dramatically toss my hair back.

“That hurts my feelings,” she says sarcastically, placing her hand on her chest. Adyn is my new, gorgeous friend. She’s not originally from here like I am. It’s easier to click with people when you have no history with them. She’s short and curvy with auburn hair cut in a bob style. She has her bottom lip pierced, and one full arm is covered in tattoos. “Just because I’m taken doesn’t mean I couldn’t find you a good lay. It’s not like I’d try hooking you up with the Bud Light guy. Sheesh, Dani, give me some credit.”

“I know. I know,” I say, throwing my wrapper at her. “I just don’t want it to be some random guy I get my kicks with. I’m not looking for a one night stand, but, since I’m not looking for a relationship either, I guess I need to just keep pleasing myself.”

“I’m sure I could help ya out in that department.”

I choke on a piece of my jerky as I turn around to see who caught the tail end of our convo. I just want to knock the cocky grin off his face even though it makes me smile. I’m pretty embarrassed he heard my admission.

“Oh, hey Gage. Thanks for making me choke on my jerky.”

“Sounds to me like that’s the only meat you’ve been choking on lately.” He laughs.

“Jealous, huh?” I lick my tongue around my jerky before sucking it into my mouth and watch as his mouth hangs open because he wishes that I was enjoying
his
meat stick. Then I take a big bite out of it and laugh when he winces. “So, did you need something?” I ask casually.

He shakes his head and fumbles around with his words. “Ahh, yeah… Umm, I came to ask you….” He scratches the back of his head while looking up towards the ceiling to avoid eye contact with me. “Oh yeah, I came to ask you if you wanted to hang out this weekend. Maybe go two-stepping.” He shyly smiles.

“I don’t really know, Gage,” I say, a little hesitant to answer him.

“Come on, Danielle. I know you love boot scootin’. We can go strictly as friends.” He half pouts, knowing that that look of his is a weakness of mine.

“Fine! You win! Pick me up Friday night at seven. I have to work Saturday, so don’t be keepin’ me up all night.”

“Oh, I’ll be keepin’ you up all night. That’s for sure.” He bends over the counter and gives my cheek a quick kiss before running out the door.

“Spill the beans, DJ.” I turn around to see Adyn standing there completely stunned by what just took place. “You’re telling me you want to get laid, and you have that fine boy more than willing to spread your body out like an all you can eat buffet.”