Saved By A Siren: Spencers in Love Book One (14 page)

            "Gilles..." Her voice wavered. Elise
drew her knees to her chest and rested her head on her arms.

            "I want you to be mine in every way. Once
you give yourself to me, I won't hold back. I can't. I'll want to lose myself
in you over and over, filling you with my seed every time. I want to see your
belly grow large and hold our children in my arms." He heard her gasp and
she started to slide from the bed. He rose onto his knees and followed,
determined to finish. "If we aren't married, any children we have will
suffer. They'll be denied their rightful futures within society. I want us to
grow old, hand in hand as our family thrives and grows before us."

            Elise was trembling, her fist pressed against
her mouth. She began shaking her head furiously. Gilles saw tears shining
against her cheeks.

            He padded towards her and wrapped her in his
arms gently, pulling her head against his chest. Elise sobbed and he rocked
from side to side.

            "I need you. I never thought I'd feel
anything but pain. You make me feel whole and real. I was starting to wonder if
I'd died and just hadn't realized it. When I'm with you, I'm happy and at
peace. You're not the only one that needs help, Elise." Gilles took her
chin and raised it. He set his lips to hers briefly. "I know you're
scared. Will you trust me, will you give me all I ask?"

            Elise pushed away, her arms wrapped around her
stomach and she chewed her lip. She lifted her face towards his.

            "I don't know..." She sounded so small
and so far away.

            Gilles raked a hand through his hair and his
chest tightened. He'd laid his soul bare and it hadn't worked. Yet. He turned
from her and did the second hardest thing he'd had to do all evening.

            "You need to go then. Don't come back here
until you've decided because if I take you, the choice is no longer yours. And
I promise, if you come to my bed again, I will have you. I won't stop. Even if
the bloody house burns down around us, I'll make you mine. Forever."

            "But..."

            Gilles cut her off.

            "Go."

            Elise nodded and left the room.

Chapter 22

            The mood in the dining room was subdued as
Gilles filled his plate and sat down. He'd responded to his family's greetings
with grumbles and allowed his plate to clatter loudly on the table. He ignored
it as he hid behind the news sheet. He didn't need to see the questioning
glances and grimaces exchanged. A quarter of an hour later, Elise had yet to
arrive and Gilles was irritated at the chorus of cleared throats and coughs.
He'd stood to excuse himself for a ride when he heard her arrival.

            Elise looked as if she'd cried more than she
slept. He resisted the urge to pull her into his arms and apologize for
distressing her. But he couldn't. She had to decide, giving in now would only
make their lives harder later. Gilles finally looked at his family as she sat.
Their eyes were full of pity, for both of them.

            Holderson had been called to the kitchens so
Gilles strode to the sideboard and made Elise's plate. He set it gently in
front of her, prepared her coffee and turned the handle.

            "Thank you, Gilles." She whispered.

            He nodded. His gut clenched at the use of his
name. The urge to kneel at her side and hold her was almost too much. He
considered leaving again. As he looked at Mirabelle, he decided to stay. She
was formulating a plan. Staying to thwart it or aid it along was the better
course of action, he decided. Just as he sat, Holderson rushed into the room
and skidded to a halt when he saw the plate in front of Elise. He bowed to
Gilles.

            "Thank you, my lord." This time, his
eyes drifted over the both of them and he nodded soberly. "Will you be
needing anything?"

            "No, Holderson. Thank you." The butler
took himself off.

            Mirabelle cleared her throat.

            "I take it the two of you still haven't
come to an agreement?" She asked softly, touching Elise's hand in support.
Elise shook her head. "Maman, Alastair and I do hope you'll accept,
Elise."

            At the mention of his name, Alastair looked up
in surprise. He'd been following along but the last thing he wanted was to have
to say or do something.

            "It's so complicated, Mirabelle. I care for
you all and I'm so flattered that you would welcome me. It means so much. I
just don't think it's the right thing for either of us."

            Gilles sighed and pinched the bridge of his
nose. He'd hoped she'd be leaning in the other direction and this wouldn't be
difficult.

            "I'm so sorry!" She whispered.

            "If you don't marry him, he'll have to find
someone else and I'm certain she'd be dreadful!" Mirabelle declared a
touch to dramatically.

            "I'm not marrying anyone else." Gilles
ground out.

            "But you'll have to! You have to have an
heir at least." Mirabelle continued. Gilles understood her tactic but he
wasn't enjoying it.

            "Alastair could..." He was cut off by
the slamming of a cup on the table. Alastair shook his head rapidly as he wiped
his mouth with a napkin.

            "Don't even think about it. I find it
highly unlikely that I'll ever marry, let alone procreate. That's your job, not
mine."

            "Mirabelle could have a son..." Gilles
stopped when he saw her head furiously shaking as well.

            Her gaze focused on her plate.

            "I'm sorry but there's a very good chance I
won't marry either. It seems you're our only hope."

            Celine, Gilles and Alastair exchanged worried
glances. Mirabelle took a deep breath and regained her composure.

            "So, he'll have to marry someone else if
you say no. And it would be beyond awkward to have you and his wife here.
Especially when there are children."

            "I'm not marrying anyone else, Mirabelle.
If she won't have me, I'll leave and she can stay. I don't give a damned about
the title."

            "You'd leave?" Elise's voice was
barely audible and her face paled.

            "Well, you certainly can't live together
forever." Mirabelle continued, "Gilles, says that he doesn't care
about the title but he's never turned his back on responsibility. He'll do the
right thing."

            Elise nodded. She wouldn't be so torn if he was
the kind of man that could shirk his duties.

            "Of course, he has to marry. I'll move to
Harwood Grange when the time comes." Elise announced.

            Gilles stood quickly, his chair fell backwards
with a clatter. Elise jumped in her seat.

            "I'm done discussing this!" His fist
slammed against the table causing the china, silver and crystal to bounce. He
pointed at Elise. "I marry her or I marry no one. I won't marry a woman I
don't want. If the title dissolves, so be it." Gille stalked from the
room. A moment later, the study door slammed.

Chapter 23

            "Oh, my! Such enchevêtrement. We will sort
this out, mes enfants." Celine promised.

            Alastair finished his plate and followed his
brother, leaving the ladies in silence.

            After several moments Elise took a steadying
breath and turned towards Celine and Mirabelle.

            "He wouldn't do it, would he? He'd marry
eventually."

            Celine sighed.

            "Of course, mon petite. But it would
destroy him to do so." She excused herself and left the dining room.
Mirabelle rose and  hugged Elise.

            "I know you'll do the right thing, Elise.
You love him." Then she was gone and Elise was alone, her feelings once
again in turmoil. If only she knew what "the right thing" was.

            Sighing, Elise considered her plate. She'd
barely touched her food. Her eggs were probably cold but she couldn't see the
sense in summoning Holderson. Her appetite was nowhere to be found. She pushed
it away and rose from her seat.

            Elise spent much of the day at her piano but
played very little music. Her mind would drift in the middle of a song and by
the time it returned she couldn't remember what she was playing. If Elise did
finish a song, her mind would cast about for something else to play and nothing
would come to her. Gilles had stayed away during lunch. Elise let the
conversation wash over her, her plate entirely ignored. After, Mirabelle and
Celine invited her to walk in the gardens but she declined. She returned to her
piano and meditated for the rest of the day. By the time she went up to dress
for dinner, a headache pounded away at the inside of her skull and her mood was
brittle. Elise begged Anna to dress her in something more conservative and
comfortable. She wanted as little attention as possible and just wanted the
evening over with.

            Elise was surprised when she sensed Gilles
waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. Her heart fluttered and she longed
to touch more than his sleeve. For his part, he was warm but almost silent.
He'd bowed over her hand and placed a fleeting kiss across her knuckles before
he rested her hand on his arm. Gilles led her directly to the dining room, his
family followed silently.

            Mirabelle attempted to make small talk and keep
the meal from being completely awkward. Elise nodded and smiled but barely
attended. As soon as the dessert plates were removed, Elise rose and excused
herself, explaining that she had a terrible headache. Once in her room, she
allowed Anna to help her undress and put on her nightgown. As Anna brushed out
her hair, Elise rubbed at her temples.

            "Would you like me to get you a powder, my
lady?" Her voice was gentle, concerned.

            Elise shook her head and stood.

            "I think I just need to sleep. It's been a
long day. Goodnight, Anna." She listened to her maid leave and was
relieved to feel drowsiness tugging at her senses.

            Hours later Elise woke with a start. She let her
senses extend, trying to determine what had woken her. She heard something fall
in the next room. Something small and solid. Her head cocked and she held her
breath until she heard the next sound. Gilles sobbed and called for someone to
stop. Elise was opening the door to his room before she'd even realized she'd
left her bed. She paused. He told her not to go in there. She slumped against
the door frame, agonized. Gilles kicked at the bedcovers, the sound of his
limbs pumping and flailing reached her. Her eyes watered. What should she do?
His heart was beating frantically and he was moaning louder. She knew the worst
was to come and the pain he would be in. Desperate, Elise retreated into her
room and ran for the door to the hall.

            Elise ran until she knew she was at the gallery
and then continued across to the other hallway. She had no idea how long it was
or where anyone was located. Her body began to tremble violently, she was
starting to lose track of where she was. Once she reached a wall, she felt
along until she came to the first door. She pounded on it. Her heart was beating
so loud she could barely hear her fists against the wood. Elise pushed towards
the opposite wall feeling along until she found another door and beat against
it. She began to feel light headed.

            "Please!" She moaned as she felt along
for another door. She could still hear Gilles crying and pleading, whether it
was imagined or not, it felt as if she were being torn in two. Elise flung herself
against the opposite wall and slammed her hand against another door. She heard
one open a little further down the hall and sensed Alastair. She reached for
him as she heard him run towards her.

            "Elise, are you alright? What's
happened?" Alastair was concerned and alert, she could hear his heart
pounding as he gathered her to him.

            "Please you have to help him!" Elise
begged as she tugged at the lapels of his robe, tugging him towards the far end
of the hall. Alastair began to follow her swiftly, his arm at her elbow when
they heard a scream in the distance. It was a roar of pain and rage that
shattered Elise's heart.

            "Stay here!" Alastair ordered as he
ran across the gallery.

            Disoriented and overwhelmed, Elise sagged to the
floor, unable to stop herself, she began sobbing. Another door opened behind
her and she heard someone running towards her. A moment later, Mirabelle was
there. Her arms were around Elise and she was trying to calm her.

            "What happened? Did I hear a scream?"

            Elise tried to stand, hiccuping as the worst of
her sobs subsided.

            "It's Gilles, please take me to him.
Alastair went to help him."

            "What happened to Gilles?" Celine
asked, rushing behind them.

            "I don't know but Alastair is with
him." Mirabelle stated as she put an arm around Elise.

            Still shaking, Elise urged them along.

            "He has terrible nightmares. He said I
couldn't help him but I couldn't bear to listen."

            "Mon garçon!" Celine cried.

            "I wanted to help him but he told me I had
to stay out of his room." Elise whispered as Mirabelle wrapped her arms
around her tighter.

            Elise knew they were close to his door. She
could feel the warmth as it spilled into the cool hall. His smell, mingled with
sweat and Alastair's own blend met her nose and she began to relax. She could
hear their whispers.

            "Why didn't you say anything, Gilles?"

            "We're not children anymore. Would you take
me out to the lawn to sleep under the stars?" Gilles teased.

            "If that's what it took. You never let me
suffer alone, why wouldn't you let me do the same for you?" Alastair
asked, his voice was full of tenderness. Elise had never heard him so
emotional.

            "I didn't want anyone to worry. I'm sure it
will pass. It's been better since I've been here. She..." Just then, he
heard the women approaching. He cursed and stood.

            Elise heard someone move to a window and open it
slightly, allowing a gentle breeze to waft through the room.

            "Good evening, everyone." Gilles said
pointedly. "Won't you all come in?"

            "I'm sorry, it was so bad and you said I
couldn't come in. I didn't know what else to do." Elise apologized, her
voice trembled as she recalled his scream.

            She felt him drag her against him as his arms
closed about her. His face pressed against the top of the head. Clearly, he
didn't care if his family saw them.

            "I'm sorry, darling. I didn't mean to scare
you." Gilles kissed her scalp and his hand lifted her chin. He touched his
lips to hers. "But you can't be in my room anymore until you agree to
marry me. Until you accept me as your husband, my dreams are not your
responsibility."

            A throat cleared and his head snapped up. He
stepped away and Elise shuddered as the chilled air of the room replaced his
embrace.

            "What are we going to do? You can't go
through this every night." Mirabelle asked. Everyone understood what she
was implying. Someone needed to stand guard (figuratively speaking) at night
and they had the perfect candidate in mind.

            "I have for almost a year and I will
continue to do so until I no longer do. That's all there is to it." He
began moving everyone towards the door.

            "Gilles! We can't let you continue to feel
such pain every night!" His mother exclaimed.

            "Maman, I appreciate your concern. I
appreciate everyone's concern but no one has ever died from a bad dream. I've
survived countless times. Go back to your own rooms. I'll be fine for the rest
of the night, I assure you."

            The group disbanded hesitantly. Elise entered
her room and walked around to the connecting door. It was still open. She
walked through. Gilles heard her and he turned.

            "You shouldn't be in here." He didn't
move towards her. Elise stayed just inside the threshold unsure of what she
should do. She felt as if she were being pulled towards him physically and
emotionally. It would be so easy and feel so good to rush into his arms. But
he'd want an answer and she still couldn't give it to him.

            "I wanted to make sure you're
alright."
That sounded as good as anything else
, Elise thought.

            She heard Gilles move towards her and her body
reacted. Heat began to pool with her, her nipples began to pucker in
anticipation. Elise felt his hand close gently about her arm as he directed her
back over the threshold. Confused, her head whipped upwards.

            "As I said, my welfare will be the purview
of my wife. As you are not the recipient of that title, it is not your
concern." Gilles raised her hand and brushed her knuckles with his lips.
"Rest well, My Lady." And then proceeded to shut the door in her
face.

            Elise was at a total loss. She stood at the door
for countless minutes, her mouth wide open. Eventually, she stepped back and
returned to her bed. Listening closely, she heard his breathing soften and
become regular. As her muscles relaxed, exhaustion washed over her and she
quickly drifted off to sleep.