Saved By A Siren: Spencers in Love Book One (16 page)

Chapter 27

            The rest of the afternoon passed very slowly for
Gilles. After Alastair left his study, he stared at the shadows on the wall
opposite him until they pushed out the light and claimed the entire room. When
he finally emerged from the dark and went upstairs to get ready for dinner, he
was still at a loss.

            It was a comfort knowing that Elise had accepted
that it would be harder for them to be apart than together, with the exception
of that one very real and very large concern. Children. Something Gilles saw as
an extension of their feelings for each other, the joy they shared, was
something Elise feared. He'd assumed that a baby would bring her as much
happiness as it would him. That like most women, she yearned for children.

            While her other reasons against marriage had
been real, they were minor and could be overcome. This was different. Gilles'
heart hurt for hers and he didn't know if he'd be able to bear that pain if it
were him. How much would it hurt him if he couldn't see Elise? His eyes drank
her in whenever they could, the sight of her fed his soul. What if he couldn't
see the children he imagined with her? In his mind, Gilles pictured tiny girls
with honey colored curls running towards him. To have them and not be able to
watch them sleep at night...

            And he'd made it abundantly clear that he wanted
children with her. What if he took it back? Could he? If Elise were able to
risk everything else she feared and agreed to marry him if he agreed that there
would be no children, could he accept that?

            If she agreed to marry him and gave him
children, what if she didn't take comfort in her bond with them, as Alastair
predicted? How would Gilles help her cope with the pain? How could he make up
for it? If he couldn't, how could he live with himself for causing her so much
heartache?

                        Gilles paid little attention as he
went through the routine of dressing for dinner. He held out his arms, turned,
stepped, sat... as if he were sleepwalking. When he finally looked around, he
was at the bottom of the stairs and his family was talking in the parlor. At
the sound of her snapping, he looked up to see Elise descending the stairs.
She'd chosen a more subdued gown as she had the night before but it was her
smile that made him lightheaded. As soon as she sensed his presence, her face
lit up and Gilles felt it within him. The warmth started in his heart and
spread outwards. He smiled and had to keep from running up the stairs to meet
her.

            Gilles knew then that he'd do whatever it took.
If Elise could only be his if there would be no children, he would promise her
that. If she gave him children, he would give her the damned moon if it made
her happy. She was all he needed. If that's all he could have, it would be
enough.

            "My Lady." He invested the phrase with
all the tenderness he could and kissed her knuckles. He lingered and she leaned
forward. They'd barely touched in two days and it had taken it's toll on both
of them. He stepped closer and was about to lower his head when Holderson
opened the dining room door and walked into the hall. Stifling a curse, Gilles
turned and placed Elise's hand on his sleeve. He kept his hand on top of hers
as he escorted her to her seat.

            The family noticed the change immediately and
the meal was more animated than it had been in days. Elise smiled and laughed.
She occasionally teased Alastair. They seemed to have become closer. Instead of
feeling concerned, Gilles was pleased. His brother had few friends and didn't
trust many people. Elise would be good for him. It was clear that he'd provided
the breakthrough she'd needed. He expected that he had cause to be grateful to
Alastair. He hoped he could return the favor and help him find love one day.

            Gilles chuckled to himself as he took a sip of
wine. He was starting to sound like bad poetry. Help him find love, indeed.
Alastair would probably plant him a facer if he knew what he'd been thinking.
He turned his attention to the table and enjoyed the conversation.

            After dinner, everyone gathered in Elise's
sitting room. Alastair engaged Gilles in a game of chess and the ladies made
plans for Lucien's arrival. He would likely be there the following day, or the
day after. It was discovered that Elise had never been on a picnic so that was
to be a priority. The afternoons were still mild enough that a shady spot in
the garden would be comfortable. From there, menus, music selections and gowns
were decided. The evening had slipped away before Gilles could find an
opportunity to talk to Elise privately. As he headed to bed, he decided that
was probably for the better. He didn't trust himself to say all he needed to if
they were in a room alone.

            In his room, Gilles heard Elise and Anna's
muffled conversation on the other side of the wall. He removed his jacket,
waistcoat and cravat. He began unbuttoning his shirt when a plan formed.
Smiling, he walked to the connecting door and knocked softly. A few seconds
later Anna opened it.

            "Can I help you, my lord?" Anna asked,
attempting to appear disapproving but not quite pulling it off.

            "Good evening, Anna. Might I have a word
with her ladyship?" He flashed his most dashing grin and she swatted his
arm.

            "Just a moment!" She shut the door and
he heard her move about the room. A moment later it opened and she waved him
in. Elise sat at her vanity, her dressing robe wrapped about her shoulders. Her
hair was loose but looked as if it had yet to be brushed out. "I'm not
leaving. You better say what you need to and then be off." Elise pursed
her lips, trying not to laugh.

            He bowed and winked.

            "My lady, I was hoping you'd join me for a
ride before breakfast."

            Elise's face lit up, as did Anna's.

            "I'd love to, my lord!" Elise looked
as if she wanted to jump up from her stool and hug him. Gilles wished they were
alone, though he knew it wouldn't end at just a hug. He stared at her, taking
in her ethereal beauty and transparent joy. He felt calmer and happier than he
had in days. He'd stepped towards her, hoping to touch her hair. Anna cleared
her throat, shaking him from Elise's spell.

            "If there's nothing else..." She
gestured towards the door. He looked at the chair before the fireplace and
considered asking if he could stay for just a few minutes, just to watch her
brush her hair. Anna's eyes followed his and she scowled. "Off with you,
now! You shouldn't be here as it is."

            "You're here. What could be the harm?"
He tried his best smile again.

            "Just look at you! There's no telling what
I might be tempted to do." She pushed him through the door and tried to
shut it. He stopped it with his foot and his head appeared.

            "Something naughty, I hope, sweet Anna."
He snuck a quick peck on her cheek and ducked back behind the door.

Chapter 28

            Anna cackled and Elise giggled. Anna picked up
the brush. She noticed that her cheeks were pink.

            "That scoundrel!" She scolded, while
chuckling. "I'm glad you two have made up. I like him. He's a good man.
And he's not hard to look at either."

            Elise smiled. He was a good man and it seemed
like they had turned a corner. She hadn't made up her mind but Alastair helped
her realize that she had more to lose by letting Gilles go than marrying him.
The only thing she had left to consider was the question of children. And even
that didn't terrify her as much as it had a few days ago. She wondered if she
could be brave enough to risk that much of her heart.

            "Alright, dear. In bed with you. I'll be
back bright and early to get you ready to ride with his lordship. Alice and I
should have your riding habit done in a few days. You'll need to try it on
tomorrow."

            Elise nodded as she pulled her covers up to her
chin.

            "Sleep well, my child!" Anna whispered
just before the door shut.

            Elise had too much on her mind to fall asleep.
She was excited about the ride the following morning and the events of the day
whirled about in her mind. Gilles' outburst at breakfast and Mirabelle's comments,
the conversation with Alastair, the change between her and Gilles at dinner,
his visit to her room... She'd been so sad and worried that morning, but now
was hopeful and excited.

            The conversations spun out in her mind and she
reexamined her feelings. Elise was able to admit that she didn't want Gilles to
leave Longwood. She didn't want him to marry anyone else or have children with
another woman. She no longer cared what was whispered about her. If his family
accepted her and he wasn't bothered, who was she to argue? Elise still felt as
if Gilles deserved better than a blind recluse for a wife but as she'd already
decided she didn't want him with anyone else and he seemed unbothered by her
blindness, she had to set that aside as well. He'd have to accept that there
would be no lovers and mistresses, she wouldn't be that sort of wife. He'd have
to make due with her and she'd do her best to fulfill his needs. The thought of
his needs had her squirming. She pushed the thought away.

            Only one thing was left: could she gamble on
Alastair being right in his prediction? She knew he was rarely wrong and her
instincts whispered that he was right. Elise wondered if she was strong enough,
if she could be that brave.

            As if in answer to her question, she heard Gilles
cry out in the next room. Elise slid from her bed and rushed to the door. She
knew she had to decide then. If she went through the door, she was agreeing to
be his, in all ways. She would marry him and be the mother of his children. Or,
she could run out the other door and ring the bell in the hallway. He sobbed
and the bed shook. Her heart raced and her hands trembled. Was she strong
enough? Could she be that brave?

            Elise heard his hoarse plea and made her
decision. She turned the handle and pushed the door open silently. She held her
head high and her shoulders back as she strode forward to meet his demons and
make her declaration. Just before she reached his bed she slid the straps from
her shoulders and let her nightgown fall to the floor. He stretched and
groaned. She heard his legs twisting under the sheets. Elise waited for him to
be still long enough and then carefully slid between the sheets next to him.
Reaching out, she felt the long planes of his back. He was facing away from
her. She began stroking his heated flesh and speaking softly to him. Gilles
sighed and rolled onto his back. His heartbeat slowed and his breathing became
more relaxed.

            Elise licked his shoulder as she ran her hands
along his chest and stomach. He was all hard muscles, she traced the ridges of
his abdomen down until she felt crisp hair. She let her fingers part the curls
and quest lower until they brushed against the hard, pulsing length of him. She
recalled how he'd felt in her hands the first night and how he'd reacted each
time she'd touched him.

            Elise knew he liked her hands on him. Would he
like her mouth on him? Could she pleasure him as he had her? Something she'd
overheard maids whispering about floated through her memory. Shrugging, Elise
slid down the length of him and carefully settled herself between his legs. She
wrapped her hands around him and gently tugged up and down. Gilles moaned, but
this time with pleasure. Tentatively, Elise ran her tongue up the length of
him. He groaned and mumbled her name. She smiled and feeling bold, placed her
lips against the wide tip. She opened and took a bit of him into her mouth, her
tongue swirled around the end. He shuddered and moaned again. Elise liked the
taste of him. He was a little salty, like the skin on his neck but with a faint
trace of soap. She licked the length of him a few more times before she drew
him into her mouth again. She was tempted to wake him and ask that he show her
what he liked but she was afraid he'd stop her. Elise didn't want to stop. Gilles
was starting to move his hips as he moaned and whispered her name.

Chapter 29

            One moment, Gilles was racing towards the coast,
the horse beneath him splashing through the rain and mud. The freezing wind
stung his face and hands but he pressed on, praying that he wasn't too late.
Dread filled him and he begged for more time.

            The next moment he was in the sunshine, laying
on thick, lush grass. Elise's hands caressed his fevered flesh as she whispered
soothing words. Gilles relaxed and gave himself up to her, drifting off.

            Then, Elise's touch became more seeking than
soothing and she was no longer whispering gentle words. Her hands and her mouth
stroked and licked, moving lower down his stomach. Gilles was helpless to stop
her as she started stroking his aching cock. He said her name over and over
like a mantra and she smiled up at him just as her tongue slid from between her
lips and she tasted him. She bathed his cock with her tongue and he thought he
would die when she took him deep in her mouth.

            "Yes!" He sighed. "Suck on it,
darling. You're so, so good." He moaned. He felt her nails graze his
thighs and her mouth tightened around him as she began sucking.

            Gilles gasped desperately to fill his burning
lungs and sat up on his elbows. He felt a hand slide up his stomach and push
him down. The room around him came into focus and he felt the bed beneath him.
Felt the hot, slick mouth wrapped around his straining cock.

            "Elise!" He hissed. "What are
you... Dear, God..." His head fell back as she released him and began
licking up and down the length of him. One of her hands gently fondled his
sack.

            "You told me to suck." She murmured,
rubbing her lips all over the head.

            Gilles eyes rolled back into his head and he
gently petted her hair.

            "I thought it was a dream." He gasped
as her lips wrapped around him and she began sucking again. "Ooooohhh...
You have to stop, Elise." He said the words but his fingers slid though
her hair and formed around her head.

            Elise was obviously experimenting with different
pressures and rhythms but her instincts were very good.

            "So, good." Gilles moaned as her hand
began pumping him. "So, so, so, so, so, sooo good!" His hips just
barely rose off the mattress and he nudged her throat. He cursed and tried to
lock them. He felt her hands slide around and under him. Elise dug her nails
into his flesh and urged him to thrust against her mouth as she suckled harder.

            Gilles felt his balls tighten and knew he
wouldn't last long. Suddenly, the thought of doing that, in her mouth brought
him back to reality.

            "No!" He reached forward and pulled
her off of him. Elise protested and reached for him as he rolled her onto her
back.

            "I don't want to stop, Gilles." She
whimpered as he pinned her.

            He rested on his elbows and cradled her face in
his hands.

            "No. We need to talk, first."

            Elise stilled and nodded, she placed her hands
against his chest and scratched lightly.

            Gilles let his head fall forward and rest
against hers.

            "No, minx. Behave." Her hands stopped
and he took a deep breath. "Do you understand what your being here
means?"

            "Yes." She whispered.

            "You're sure?"

            Elise nodded and wrapped her arms around his
neck, pulling him closer so her lips brushed his ear.

            "I want to be your wife and I want to have
your children." She breathed against him.

            Gilles couldn't move. He felt as if his heart
was going to burst. He didn't know where to start. Did he hug her? Kiss her?

            "Gilles? Did you hear me?" Elise
whispered urgently.

            He could only nod. He was afraid if he spoke
he'd wake up the whole damned house. He wanted to shout and jump on the bed.

            "Did you change your mind?" She asked,
her voice trembling. "Did I do something wrong?"

            That did it.

            "What? No!" Gilles took her lips and
kissed her, letting all the joy he felt, all the relief pour into her. He
pulled her into his arms and rolled onto his back to keep from crushing her.

            "You can't take it back, Elise. You're
mine. Forever."

            She stretched against him and pressed her lips
to his and giggled.

            "And you're mine." She pushed up and
straddled his stomach. Her expression became serious. "There can be no
other women, Gilles. I can't be one of those ton wives that doesn't care. No
lovers or mistresses."

            He pulled her face to his and kissed her
thoroughly.

            "You're mad! I can't even stomach the idea
of kissing another woman!" He confessed against her lips.

            "Don't, ever!" Elise begged as she
kissed him back.

            Gilles liked that she was jealous. He'd have to
kill the first man that looked at her. On the thought, he let his gaze fall.
Her breasts were so close to his lips. His smile turned wicked. He pushed her
shoulder back and reached forward with his face as his tongue connected with
her nipple. Elise hissed and pressed her breast forward.

"I could never desire another
woman's breasts as I do yours." He promised as his lips closed around her.
She shrieked as he began suckling and held him to her.

            "You can't!" Elise ordered and rocked
against him.

            Gilles could feel how hot and wet she was
against his lower stomach. His cock was throbbing painfully. He'd been so close
when she had her mouth on him, the pressure of his stalled release made his
balls ache. He slid a hand between them and parted her slick folds. His finger
entered her and he groaned at how wet and tight she was.

            "No other woman could feel as good as
this." Gilles whispered against her nipple and he slid a second finger
into her.

            "Good." Elise nodded. She didn't
understand what he'd said, she was lost to the feeling of his fingers inside of
her and his mouth on her breast.

            Gilles wanted to pleasure her with his mouth but
his erection was beyond painful. He didn't think he could wait long enough to
finish her with his fingers.

            "I need you now, love! I swear I'll make it
up to you later!" He begged against her skin.

            Elise moaned and writhed against him. He knew
she was close.

            "Just do it! I need you!" She pulled
at his shoulder, to get him to roll her onto her back. He shook his head.

            "No, sweetheart. Stay right where you're
at."

            All but mindless, she swayed above him. Gilles
gripped her hips and slid her down his body, until the head of his cock rubbed
against her damp flesh. He pulled her knees down so they were directly beneath
her bottom and lifted her. Elise raised above him and he positioned himself at
her entrance. If Gilles had been thinking, he would have chosen this position
for their first time. He realized he was going to be a snug fit. She was tight
and hadn't had a lot of experience. He was worried his size was going to make
things difficult in the beginning. Gilles lowered her just enough so that he
parted her slick folds, just the head was inside of her. He clenched his jaw as
the heat of her scalded him.

            "Very, very slowly, sit down." He
ground out as she slowly lowered herself on to him. He gasped and hauled in a
breath as he felt her reflexively tighten her inner muscles. "Easy! You're
as tight as a virgin and I'm a large man. I don't want to hurt you."

            As Gilles said the words, Elise stopped and he
felt a firm barrier press against the head of his cock.

            Cursing, he pulled her forward against him,
sliding back out of her. He gritted his teeth and breathed through his nose.
He
was going to die
. It was that simple. Gilles held her against him and
waited for the pain to subside again.

            Elise lifted her head and found his lips.

            "Are we done?" She sounded so
confused.

            Gilles couldn't help it. He laughed. It started
as a weak chuckle but gathered strength until he was nearly howling. Perched on
top of him, Elise waited for him to return. When he did, he kissed the top of
her head.

            "We're not done. We haven't even begun,
love." Gilles stroked her back, trying to get her to relax again.

            "Why did you stop?" Elise asked
against his neck and kissed his skin.

            "Because you're a virgin. I wasn't
expecting it and I was afraid I was about to hurt you."

            She sat up quickly, rubbing against his cock.
Gilles bit back a groan.

            "Why didn't you think I was a virgin?"
Her mood turned and she tried to dismount.

            "No you don't!" Gilles stilled her by
grabbing her hips. "You were married, Elise! It wouldn't make sense for
you to be a virgin."

            Her jaw dropped and she crossed her arms. Gilles
clenched his jaw as the sight of her breasts spilling over her arms caused his
frustrated cock to twitch.
Dying. It was going to happen
, he thought
grimly. Elise felt the movement beneath her and scooted forward.

            "How could you think that?" She nearly
shrieked. "Aside from the fact that he was so much older, Basil was like a
father to me. He could never! I could never!" She tried again to slide off
of him. Gilles gripped her tighter.

            "Don't!" He warned. "I'm sorry. I
thought he would have at least once. To make it official."

            "Official?" Elise was appalled.
"I think I might be sick! I told you why he married me. It had nothing to
do with... with... this!" She gestured between them.

            Gilles knew things had taken a terrible turn. He
had to get things under control again.

            "I'm sorry. I know now, I shouldn't have
assumed." He sat up and kissed her, slowly at first. His hands began
caressing her bottom and her back. He began kissing her deeper and faster as
his hands slid around her rib cage and cupped her breasts. Elise sighed against
his lips and Gilles knew he was bringing her back. His thumbs brushed against
her nipples and her head fell, exposing her neck to his lips. His teeth grazed
as his tongue traveled down to her breast. He lifted her full, soft flesh to
his lips and flicked her with his tongue. Elise moaned and bucked against him.
He switched breasts and began suckling as he rolled the other nipple between
his fingers.

            She sighed his name and Gilles repositioned her.
He pulled her back down his body until her swollen, slick flesh pressed against
his long suffering erection. Instead of having her sit up, he kept Elise
resting on top of him. He gripped the shaft of his cock, rocked his hips
upwards and slowly entered her a few inches and withdrew. She started to
complain and lean back.

            "Easy love, I'm not stopping until it's
done." Gilles promised and he slowly slid in just a little bit more. The
muscles in jaw twitched as he forced himself to maintain a slow pace. He
focused on breathing in and out of his nose and staying with the same rhythm.
Gilles felt Elise starting to get restless. "Stay with me, love. I'm
almost there." He whispered against her ear. He rocked in and out a few
more times before he felt the barrier.

            "This is going to hurt. But there's nothing
for it." How he managed all that through clenched teeth was beyond him.

            "Please, Gilles!" She begged.

            He took her mouth and kissed her deeply as he
gave two gentle test thrusts before he pulled back completely and thrust home.
He felt her tear and she screamed into his mouth. Gilles wrapped his arms
around her and whispered her name over and over, his hands stroking her back as
he tried to pull her pain into him.

            "I'm so sorry. So, so sorry, love." He
murmured against her ear. He focused on soothing her and ignoring the
throbbing, straining cock buried deep within her. Her muscles had reflexively
tightened around him and the urge to start moving his hips was starting to
overwhelm him.

            "Darling? How do you feel?" Gilles
whispered. He felt her start to move. He eased his hold on her so she could
rise slightly. He heard a hiss and realized it had come from him. Elise had
rocked forward and back the tiniest bit while unclenching and clenching the
muscles gripping him.
Almost dead
, he thought.

            Elise rose again, this time a little higher.

            "It's not bad anymore, it's starting to
feel good again." Elise slid back down and Gilles breathed raggedly.

            "Good is... Good." He replied,
incapable of intelligent conversation. He slid her knees back again so she
could sit higher and ride him easier. He pushed her bottom back as he sat up.
Gilles lifted and lowered her a few times so she could get a feel for the
movement. Elise took over, slowly picking up the pace and taking more of him
inside of her. Once she had the hang of it, Gilles let his hands and lips roam.
He nipped at her shoulders and licked her collar bone. She grabbed his
shoulders and let her head fall back. For a moment, Gilles was stunned. She was
so beautiful, so primal in the moonlight that spilled through the window. Like
a pagan goddess. He dipped his head and pulled a nipple into his mouth. She
gasped and arched her back, pressing herself against his lips. Elise almost had
his full length inside of her and began to squeeze her inner muscles in time
with her rise and fall.

            Gilles' head spun. He'd been with some of the
most skilled women in England and on the continent and none could match her. It
occurred to him that if this is where her instincts led her, her first time,
with practice, she might actually break him.