Saved by the Celebutante (15 page)

I’m too tired to defend myself any further.

“Whatever…” I walk off and head to my room, closing the door behind me.

“I wouldn’t get too comfortable in there!” he yells through the wall.

What a perfect way to end the day.

I stay in my room until I hear Will leave for work. He’s left his iPad in the kitchen, open to one of the tabloids featuring an article from Gia’s baby food launch. There’s a small picture of the two of us and a label explaining who I am. I sigh. Well, I guess it had to happen sooner or later.

God, things can’t get much worse. I’m contemplating becoming a hermit and staying indoors from now on. Everything I do seems to end in disaster. Maybe I should quit working for Gia. Tomorrow I’ll come clean and tell her what really happened to my phone. And then she can decide whether she still wants me to be her publicist.

Someone raps aggressively on the door. I’m assuming Will forgot his keys or something, so I’m tempted to leave him outside. But then I hear a voice I wasn’t expecting. Corey.

“Chrissie! Open up!”

I pull open the door and stare at him.

“What the hell is going on?” he asks before I can even get a word out.

“I could ask you the same thing,” I reply, surprised at his tone.

“Have you lost your mind? What were you trying to prove?”

“What do you mean? Are you talking about the note I left? What did you expect? You keep this massive secret from me and then when I go over to unlock the house for the realtor because you’re too damn lazy to answer your phone, I discover you’ve moved someone in! How was I supposed to react?”

He shakes his head, exasperated.

“I’m not talking about the childish note you left on the door. I mean your phone call the other day!”

“What phone call?”

“Are you for real?” He pulls his phone out of his pocket and calls a number, switching it to speaker.

I listen, horrified. It’s the sound of me and Brad having sex. I must have accidentally called his number when I pulled it out of my jeans.

“Were you trying to make me jealous or something? Seriously Chrissie, I expected more from you.”

“Wait, it’s not what you think…”

“So you weren’t having sex with your roommate?”

“Uh…actually it was just the once and I was stoned…”

“Jesus, Chrissie, I don’t want to know the details!”

“Well, at least I didn’t move some guy into our family home without telling you.”

“No, but you moved into his.”

“But not with the intent of starting a relationship.”

“Now you’re just being nit-picky.”

“Fine. Believe that moving a boyfriend into our apartment is exactly the same as me spending one damn night with my roommate after I found out what you’d done, and also after I had to endure the baby shower from hell without any support!”

I burst into tears. Corey finally softens.

“Chrissie…”

“No, forget it. I don’t want to talk anymore. My life has been complete shit since you left and you’ve been acting as if I don’t even exist. Why couldn’t you just tell me what’s been going on?”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I should have told you about Jasper earlier, but it’s all been very sudden and he hasn’t officially moved in. He’s just staying for a couple of weeks because his house is being renovated.”

“How convenient.”

“You know, you really are being quite unreasonable about all of this.”

I glare at him, too angry to even get the words out. He takes this as a sign to keep going.

“I was going to tell you when the time was right, but then you go writing threatening notes and leaving messages of you having sex…”

“For the record, that was an accidental pocket dial.”

“Well, whatever it was, I’m kind of worried about you. Do you need to see someone?”

“No! And don’t be so damn patronizing! Anyway, you’re the bad guy. Why are you trying to make me feel bad?”

“I’m not the bad guy. And I’m not trying to make you feel bad.”

I angrily wipe away my tears. “Look, I was supposed to call the realtor, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. I think we have a buyer, so how about we just focus on that, sell the place and then we can talk about the divorce?’

Corey seems to relax. “Sure. Why don’t you let me call the realtor? I owe you.”

I puff out my cheeks. “Fine. Just phone Barbara at City Realty and find out what the offer was. If it’s more than ten thousand over what we paid, take it.”

“I’ll call her in the morning,” he says reassuringly.

“Good.”

“I guess I should go,” he says, sneaking a glance out to the driveway.

“Hang on. Is
he
waiting out in the car?” I ask in disbelief.

“Does it matter?” He deflects my question.

I throw up my hands. “I guess not. It’s not like I have any say in your life anymore.”

“Please, Chrissie. Let’s just try and keep things civil. What number should I call if I need to reach you?”

I fight back the urge to punch him in the face.

“Just call the house for now.” I write down the land line on a piece of paper and hand it to him.

“See ya,” he says, and then hurries out.

After he leaves, I slide down onto the floor feeling emotionally bankrupt. I can’t take much more of this.

I sit there for what seems like forever, but eventually crawl into my room and bury myself under the covers.

SEVENTEEN

I fall asleep, but wake up at midnight when I hear loud music blasting from the living room. I stumble out, rubbing my eyes.

“Guys! What the hell?”

Brad and Becky are slow dancing drunkenly beside the couch.

Brad smiles lazily at me. “Hey, Chrissie. Wanna join us?”

Becky shoots me a deadly look.

“No, she doesn’t,” she says, apparently answering for me.

“Oh come on, Beck. What do you have against Chrissie?”

“You know exactly what I have against her. What are you doing here anyway?” she demands.

“Last time I checked, I was a paying tenant of this house, but if you mean in the living room at this very moment, it’s because I was trying to sleep until the music woke me up.” I stand my ground. I’m not going to be intimidated by her.

“Sorry. Hang on a minute.” She goes in search of the volume control and turns it up even louder.

“Better?” she yells.

“Perfect,” I mutter and turn around. Then I look back over my shoulder and raise my voice so I can be heard over the music. “Oh, Brad? I hope you changed the sheets after Saturday!”

I grab my purse and storm out without waiting for a reaction. I think it would be best if I stayed at Penny’s tonight.

Thankfully my sister is up and allows me to sleep on the couch. The bed in the spare room isn’t made up and I insist I’m not worth the effort tonight.

I can’t sleep. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with Becky’s shit. And I’m kind of angry at Brad too, even though I don’t really have the right to be. He did warn me. I guess I had foolishly hoped he would understand how upset I would be if I saw him with Becky again. The idea of them having sex makes me feel sick. How could I have been so stupid? I’m still recovering from a huge betrayal. I’m not strong enough to separate my emotions into little boxes to be unlocked when convenient. I wasn’t deluded enough to think Brad and I had any sort of long-term future together, but I did really like him and thought maybe we could have had a bit more fun together before we went our separate ways. He’s cute, funny, insightful and caring, but he also wants to be with other women, so I can’t let myself get any more attached. Especially if Becky is going to stick around.

I toss and turn most of the night, feeling like I deserve the discomfort of the couch as punishment for thinking I could get away with having a fling with someone like Brad. I remind myself to never get sucked in again.

Michelle accidentally wakes me up at six as she’s getting ready to go to the gym.

“Why did you have to disturb me?” I moan. “I’m trying to avoid reality…for like the next fifteen years.”

“You know you have total control over everything, right?” she says, making me want to yank the protein bar she’s eating out of her hand and stomp on it.

“Yes. I have total control over the fact my husband is gay and ran off with another man. I have control over the fact one of my roommates hates me, the other just crushed me, and there’s an evil girl who would probably be quite happy if I was dead.”

“That’s other people. Your life is up to you. How you respond to how they treat you is completely in your control.”

“Thanks, Dr. Phil.”

“I’m just saying…”

I stay quiet. Admittedly, I did have control over my phone but then stupidly smashed it. I also chose to sleep with someone I knew was bad for me. And I really can’t be mad at Corey for being gay, but I feel like I’m allowed to be upset that he didn’t tell me about Jasper. All right, I’ll meet her halfway.

I call Gia and tell her I’m too sick to go in to work today. I actually am feeling physically ill, but I know it’s only because of everything that’s happened over the past few days.

Penny doesn’t have time to talk when she wakes up because she wants to join Michelle at the gym, so I stay on the couch alone watching bad daytime TV.

Three hours later, I drag myself to the phone store and sign up on a new contract. As I suspected, my contacts do not miraculously reappear when I switch on the handset.

I walk around the mall feeling quite angry with everyone, including myself. And then I realize I never heard from Corey. He could have left a message at home, but I don’t really want to go back and check. I call his cell.

“Oh, hi,” he says as if we hadn’t just spoken last night.

“Hey, did you leave a message at the house? I’ve been out all afternoon.”

“No. I wasn’t going to bother. It was a terrible offer, so I turned it down.”

“Oh? That’s weird. When I spoke to Barbara, she thought they were going to offer more than we expected.”

“Well, maybe she didn’t think we actually wanted to make a profit.”

“I think she did.”

“Either way, it wasn’t any good.”

I start crying again, not even caring that I’m in the middle of the street and people are staring. This is just the icing on the cake. You know how when you’re in a good mood and almost nothing can get you down? But then if things aren’t going so well, you only need one small thing to tip you over the edge? Well this isn’t even a small thing. And the other things before that were huge fucking mountains of horror.

“Hey, Chrissie, are you okay?”

“Do I sound it?” I sob.

“It will be all right,” he says, sounding uncomfortable.

“It won’t! Nothing will ever be all right again!”

“Don’t be like that. Look, I’m really sorry to do this to you, but I have to go. How about we talk properly later?”

“Wait! Are you out with Jasper?”

“Chrissie, please. Don’t do this. I’ll call you again soon.” He hangs up.

I contemplate throwing my new phone against a nearby wall, but think better of it.

I stare into space. I…just…can’t…

I think this is what they call a nervous breakdown.

***

Somehow I make it back to Penny’s, but I only get as far as the floor inside the front door. I curl up in the fetal position and close my eyes, a wave of complete and utter hopelessness washing over me. I don’t know how to make things better. I don’t want to live at Brad’s anymore, but I don’t want to live at Penny’s either. I can’t believe Luke and Molly didn’t put in a decent offer. Stupid, clueless realtors.

At some point, I am vaguely aware of Penny and Michelle returning. They try to find out what’s wrong with me, but I can’t bring myself to speak.

Soon after, Gia texts me.

Can you come over?

I contemplate not replying, but I feel like I’ve already messed her around enough.

I’m sick
, I type back.

Can I come over then?

I might puke on you
.

That’s OK. I have three kids. I always get puked on.

I won’t be good company.

I’ll see you in 10.

I don’t think you should bother, but if you insist, I’m at my sister’s.

I forward her the address and then stay in the same spot until she knocks on the door.

I reach up to unlock it, but don’t move out of the way.

She gently pushes her way in and sits down beside me.

“So, are we physically sick? Or the other kind?”

“Both. But mostly the other kind.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Are you having trouble with Corey? Or one of your roommates?”

“Pretty much everyone.” Then it occurs to me I never told her about Will. “Do you know who my other roommate is?”

“No. Who?”

“It’s Will. I mean, Billy.”

Her eyes widen. “
My
Billy? Oh my God! I assume he knows you work for me, then?”

“Only as of yesterday.”

“Oh no!”

“Yep.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. Move out?”

“I’d offer for you to stay at my place, but it’s a little small. And the kids would drive you crazy.”

“It’s okay. I appreciate the sentiment.”

I need to tell her what really happened to my phone.

“Gia…”

She cuts me off. “Listen, I wanted to tell you this in person. I was doing some sleuthing this morning and I came across an interview with Peter Carson.”

I frown. “And?”

“It said how he was looking forward to some downtime at this retreat he visits every year near Carmel.”

“So?”

“There’s only one retreat in the area he mentioned, so I phoned up and found out they have specific intakes throughout the year, and the latest one started the other day!”

“How do you know Peter would be at that one?”

“Because the last one was before the interview was published and the next one isn’t for ages. I just have a feeling he’d do this one if he wanted to relax before the movie started casting.”

“Did you call them to see if he was there?”

“Yeah, but they won’t disclose the names of any of their guests. I think we should drive down there and see if we can actually talk to him in person.”

I perk up slightly. “Okay. So when do you want to go?”

“Now!”

I stare at her. “You mean
now
now?”

“Yep. While you’ve been sulking, I packed a bag and organized my mom to babysit the kids. So get your stuff! We’re going on a road trip!”

I feel a mixture of relief and guilt.

“Listen, Gia, I will do anything you want me to do, but I think maybe I should stop being your publicist. I messed up your audition, and I wasn’t exactly…”

“Stop beating yourself up about it. So do we need to stop by your other place before we leave?”

I give her a small smile. I love how she never seems to care how completely useless I am.

“Probably. I only have one change of clothes here.”

“Fine. Get whatever you have here and then we’ll go there next.” She claps her hands together. “Woo-hoo! This is so exciting!”

I hurry off to get my stuff, leaving Gia in the living room. I feel dazed. Am I really about to head off down the coast to gatecrash a meditation retreat?

I certainly owe it to Gia, so it appears that I am. And then once it’s all over, I’ll tell her what happened with the phone and offer to resign.

At least then it will be up to her.