Saving Ren (Barretti Security Series, Book 3) (4 page)

The answer surprised Jagger. “So you’ve been coming here to check on him anyway?” he asked as he forced himself to release Declan. The feel of the man’s pulse beneath his fingers was too distracting. Declan’s hand reached up to rub at his throat and the move made Jagger’s cock jerk in his pants.

“No. I have an app on my phone that notifies me if anyone disables the security system. It wasn’t disabled until this afternoon. I have no idea where he’s been since the shooting.”

Jagger cursed the fact that it was too dark to see Declan’s face. The man had even been smart enough to disable the dome light in his car, presumably so that Ren wouldn’t see the vehicle where it was parked in a grove of trees at the base of the driveway.

“Why not tell Dom and Vin?”

Declan snorted. “Do you really believe that if they know where he is, they’d be able to stay away?”

“He’s messed up Declan. He needs help.” Jesus, why the hell did using the man’s name sound so right on his tongue?

“You think I don’t fucking know that?” Declan said. “But I also know that short of institutionalizing him, Dom and Vin wouldn’t have been able to keep him from taking off if that was what he wanted to do.”

Jagger sighed. “So what exactly was your plan?”

Before Declan could answer, a gunshot rang out and both he and Declan instantly ducked behind the car. But Jagger instinctively knew the muffled sound hadn’t come from outside and he was running towards the cabin a second after a horrified Declan uttered Ren’s name.

***

Jagger didn’t bother slowing as he rammed into the cabin door and it was only his forward momentum that had him dropping his upper body enough so that the bullet that whizzed by him slammed into the doorframe instead of his head. His relief was short-lived though, as he saw a gun aimed directly at him and his eyes connected with Ren’s deadened gaze just as he began to pull back on the trigger.

“Ren, don’t!” Declan shouted as his large frame filled the doorway and the gun shifted off of Jagger and onto Declan. Jagger instantly tried to step between the two men but Declan’s hand closed over his arm to keep him from moving.

“Ren, it’s me,” Declan said softly.

Ren’s icy blue eyes shifted back and forth between Jagger and Declan several times before he finally settled them on Declan and his finger eased off the trigger.

“Declan?” he finally asked, his voice sounding softer than Jagger would have expected. It was then that Jagger noticed the change in the younger man’s sunken eyes. They’d gone from cold and empty to heavy with confusion. It was as if he’d been jarred awake from a deep sleep and didn’t know where he was or how he’d gotten there.

“Yeah, Ren, it’s Declan,” Declan said as he slowly moved so that he was standing in front of Jagger.

“Did you see them out there?” Ren asked hopefully. “Did I get one of them?”

“There’s no one out there,” Declan said gently.

Ren’s arm shook in agitation and he suddenly jerked the gun up and down. “Don’t lie to me! I heard them!”

“Who?”

“Them!” Ren shouted. “They’re coming for me! They’re going to try and stick me back in that…that hole!”

“Ren, listen to me,” Declan said. “No one will ever hurt you again, do you understand me?”

Ren shook his head vigorously. “You can’t stop them, Declan,” he whispered. “No one can stop them.”

Jagger watched in horror as Ren took several steps backwards until his back hit the wall and then he slid down to the floor, his knees bent up, the gun resting in his lap. It was Ren’s fixation on the gun that had Jagger taking a step forward.

“Ren, do you remember Jagger?” Declan asked and Ren’s watery gaze lifted to connect first with Declan, then Jagger. Ren shook his head.

“Jagger got you out of that place.”

Jagger stayed put as Declan moved closer. He managed to lower himself in front of Ren so they were nearly eye level but the gun’s position was still precarious and Jagger didn’t miss the way Ren had his finger resting on the trigger.

“I don’t remember,” Ren said quietly.

“Jagger,” Declan called over his shoulder though his eyes never left Ren’s. “How many of the guys that were holding Ren did you leave alive?”

“None,” Jagger answered.

“Are you going to let anyone take him?” Declan asked.

“No fucking way,” Jagger said firmly, hoping like hell Ren could see he was telling the truth. When Ren’s eyes shifted to his for a moment, he thought he saw a brief flicker of hope.

“No one ever touches you again, Ren,” Declan vowed. “They won’t get past me. They won’t get past Jagger. And you and I both know they sure as hell won’t get past your brothers,” Declan added and Jagger could almost hear the smile in his voice.

Ren’s free hand shook as he came up to wipe at his face. “I don’t want to see them,” he whispered.

“You don’t have to. They don’t know you’re here.”

Jagger was surprised when Ren glanced up at him as if seeking confirmation…or reassurance. Jagger nodded. “You decide if and when you’re ready,” he said. He knew in that instant that it was a promise he wouldn’t go back on, even if it cost him the newfound relationship with Dom and Vin.

Ren nodded and when Declan finally reached to take the gun from his hand, Ren released it. Tension drained out of Jagger’s body and when Declan extended the gun behind his back, Jagger quickly stepped forward and took it.

***

Declan felt a ripple of comfort go through him when Jagger’s fingers brushed his as he took the gun. The past two minutes had been some of the worst in his life and had started when that single gunshot rang through the night. As he and Jagger had run towards the cabin, images of Ren lying lifeless on the floor in a pool of blood had flashed through his mind. The sound of wood cracking as Jagger had broken the door down had been punctuated by another gunshot and the relief at seeing Ren alive and well had lasted only a split second as Declan’s mind registered that Jagger stood no chance of escaping the line of fire a second time.

The recognition in Ren’s eyes and voice as he’d whispered Declan’s name had given Declan hope but then there had been that heart wrenching moment where Ren’s eyes had glazed over with despair and hopelessness and Declan’s heart had nearly stopped when Ren’s battered gaze had fallen on the gun he’d been cradling in his lap.

“Have you eaten anything today?” Declan asked as he reached out and closed his hand around Ren’s thin arm. This was the closest he’d been to the younger man and his condition was even more shocking than Declan had first realized. Ren was only an inch or two shorter than Declan but he was so skinny and pale that he seemed tiny compared to Declan and could easily pass for a corpse. His eyes looked large in their sunken sockets and his skin was drawn tight over sharp cheekbones. His once thick black hair was gone and the closely cropped shadow of growth that replaced it couldn’t hide several scars on his head. More scars mottled his face and a surge of rage went through Declan at the thought of the men who’d put them there.

“No,” Ren said and it took Declan a moment to remember he’d asked Ren about food.

“Jagger, can you check the pantry? There should be some soup in there,” Declan said as he helped Ren to his feet. Ren had become quiet and withdrawn but he didn’t fight Declan as he led him to the small kitchen table. Jagger was already heating up the soup in the microwave by the time Declan got Ren settled and Declan moved quickly to the refrigerator and found the can of soda he was looking for. He prayed that the jolt of sugar would help ease some of the shock that Ren was experiencing.

“Here,” Declan said as he wrapped Ren’s hands around the can. Ren seemed surprised to see the soda resting between his fingers but he obediently drank some down. He flinched when Jagger appeared next to him and eased the bowl of soup in front of him. He stared tiredly at it for a moment but finally picked up the spoon next to it and began slowly eating. Jagger ended up reheating the food twice before Ren managed to finish it all and when he did finally put the spoon down, his eyes were heavy with exhaustion.

Declan led Ren to the smaller of the two bedrooms in the cabin. It had been the one Declan had used as a child when he joined his grandfather on his fishing trips. While not nearly as large as the master bedroom, the room was the perfect one to stick Ren into since it had only one small window that would be a challenge to climb out of. There was no way Declan was risking another disappearing act like the one Ren had pulled at Vin’s house the night he’d gone after Mia.

God, what a clusterfuck, Declan thought as he flipped on the lights. Declan’s intent had been to help Ren but all he’d done was make things worse. And if Ren’s aim hadn’t been off by the smallest of fractions, Jagger would be dead.

Declan guided Ren to the bed. As much as he knew Ren needed a shower, the man clearly needed sleep more. As he pulled back the covers, Ren stood next to him, his arms wrapped around his waist as if trying to soothe himself. Declan maneuvered him into a sitting positon on the bed and got Ren’s shoes off before helping him under the covers. His heart ached as Ren’s eyes slid closed and it was all he could do not to run his fingers through the little bit of hair on Ren’s head.

The man before him was nothing like the old Ren Barretti but Declan still wanted him. He’d met Ren for the first time at Dom and Sylvie’s wedding and though Ren hadn’t known it, his presence had changed something for Declan. The beautiful, happy go lucky 19 year old with the perpetual smile on his face and laughing blue eyes had confirmed for Declan that his future wouldn’t consist of the wife and kids he’d been expected to have. After years of denying what his body wanted, it had taken only one look at Ren for Declan to know he would always crave the presence of another man instead of a woman.

But the worst part was that his gut had told him even then that it would be this one man that he wanted above all others and he’d been right. Declan had spoken less than a dozen words to Ren that night but he’d lost his heart to him almost instantly. It didn’t matter that Ren was straight, that he was younger or that they were technically related by law. And it didn’t matter that he hadn’t seen Ren again for several years after that. His heart hadn’t given a shit that a future with Ren was impossible. It hadn’t cared that being in love with someone so completely unattainable would torture Declan in the years that followed.

What had mattered was that when Ren had been led in handcuffs through the precinct doors just a few short days ago, it was his heart that had decided he needed to save Ren and his mind had been in overdrive ever since trying to make that happen. But all he’d ended up doing was making things worse.

***

Jagger watched Declan re-enter the kitchen from the back hallway that led to the bedrooms. The man looked as worn out as Ren had and Jagger guessed Declan was now the one crashing as his own adrenaline rush began to fade. Declan paused when he saw him sitting at the table but his eyes quickly fell on the gun Jagger had placed in the center. Ren’s gun.

“Serial number’s filed off,” Jagger said.

Declan slid into the chair across from him and reached for the illegal gun that Ren had bought off the streets. Jagger wasn’t surprised when Declan made sure the gun was empty. He examined it briefly and then put it back down before running his fingers through his hair in agitation.

“I gave him the money to buy food,” Declan muttered. “I didn’t even consider this,” he said as he stared at the gun. “I’m such a fool…”

“He would have found a way to get the gun whether you gave him money or not,” Jagger said. “It was obviously the only thing that made him feel even somewhat safe.”

Declan stood up and went to the refrigerator and yanked open the door. Jagger knew what he’d see – absolutely nothing. Declan slammed the door shut and leaned back against it. “We need to call his brothers,” he finally said.

“And break the promise we made him?” Jagger said. “No. One hundred fucking percent no.”

“You saw him, Jagger,” Declan snapped. He came back to the table and picked up the gun. “He looked at this like it was his only way out. If we hadn’t gotten here in time…”

“The first shot he fired went through the wall near the back door.”

After a brief glance over his shoulder at the door in question, Declan lowered the gun once more. “We can’t risk leaving him alone. He needs professional help. If it means having him committed-” Declan said softly.

Jagger rose and slammed his hands down on the table. “He doesn’t belong in a place like that!” Anger went through Jagger at even the thought of Ren being pumped full of drugs and being left in a corner somewhere to rot like a piece of garbage. He’d seen firsthand what passed for mental health care in the military system and there was no way in hell he would let Ren suffer through that after having survived so much.

“Jagger,” Declan began to say but Jagger cut him off.

“You want out, Declan? Go!”

“I want him safe, damn it!” Declan snapped though he kept his voice low. “I want to not have to tell his brothers they need to come down to the morgue to ID his body because he put a bullet in his brain. Or that he’s going to spend the rest of his life in a jail cell because he shot someone he thought was a threat!”

Jagger straightened. “Finally Detective, something we agree on.”