Saving Ren (Barretti Security Series, Book 3) (6 page)

“Hey,” Jagger said as he came over to the car and automatically began pulling bags from it. They’d come to a truce of sorts last night since they’d agreed that calling Ren’s brothers wasn’t an option at the moment and that together they might be able to get Ren to a place where he felt secure enough to make some reasonable decisions. But they’d both been too drained to work out the details and this morning they’d agreed that it would make sense for Declan to be the one to get some food and supplies since he knew the area and for Jagger to stay behind. In truth, Declan had felt uncomfortable at leaving Ren with a virtual stranger but it wasn’t like he’d had a lot of choice in the matter. It had been Jagger’s idea to disable the vehicles and remove any potential weapons from the cabin – an insight that Declan hadn’t even considered beyond getting rid of the gun.

“How’d it go?” Declan asked as his eyes settled on Ren who was staring at his GTO.

“A little rough,” Jagger said quietly. “I’ll explain later.”

Declan was wondering what ‘a little rough’ meant but he had his answer a minute later when he followed Ren and Jagger into the cabin. The kitchen was in a shambles and the way Ren had been staring at his car suddenly made sense.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” Ren said quietly.

“Here, I got you some fresh clothes,” Declan said as he handed Ren a couple of bags. “They might be a little big,” he said.

Ren’s eyes connected with his as he took the bags and that familiar ache settled in Declan’s gut.

“Thanks,” Ren mumbled as he turned and disappeared into his room.

“Still think this was the best way to go?” Declan muttered as he stepped over the mess and opened the refrigerator.

“What I think is that you started all this,” Jagger snapped.

“Right,” Declan said. “And you get to be the big hero and save the day.”

“Your words,” Jagger quipped.

“God, you’re a piece of work,” Declan said as he began jamming the items from the grocery bag into the refrigerator.

“At least my plan didn’t involve arming a guy with severe PTSD and setting him loose on innocent people. For a cop-”

“What the fuck is your problem with cops?” Declan shouted as he slammed the refrigerator door closed. “Or are you just too stupid to come up with any other digs?”

Jagger’s eyes hardened but Declan was surprised when he turned and left the cabin instead of railing back at him. And then he remembered Jagger’s admission about being dyslexic on the day he’d interrogated him.

“Fuck,” he muttered and he quickly hurried after the other man. He didn’t have to go far because Jagger had stopped on the small porch.

“Jagger,” he began but all the wind got knocked out of him when Jagger grabbed him and slammed him up against one of the porch columns.

“Does it make you feel like a big man to look down on me, Detective?” Jagger snarled. Jagger’s fingers bit into his upper arms and Declan didn’t miss the sight of the blood on Jagger’s knuckles. A quick glance at the opposite column showed a smear of blood where Jagger had likely slammed his fist against the unforgiving wood.

“No-” Declan tried to say but Jagger cut him off.

“Go on, give me your worst, asshole. I’ve heard them all!” When Declan remained quiet, Jagger seemed to become more enraged. “No? Nothing? How about retard or idiot or shit for brains? Oh wait, that’s not the only part of me you have a problem with, is it?” Jagger bit out. “You think I’m a thug too. A criminal. A loser.”

Sadness went through Declan as Jagger continued to spit out slur after slur. He wished he could ask who’d flung such merciless, hateful words at this man at some point in his life but Jagger was too angry for Declan to even get a word in. His face was practically in Declan’s and venom dripped from his voice as he continued his tirade. But his next words had Declan’s blood running cold because they were all too familiar and the pain he felt in Jagger was his own.

“Pansy-ass queer, fagg-”

All thought and reason left Declan’s head as his need to undo the harm he’d unwittingly caused took over and he slashed his mouth over Jagger’s just in time to prevent that ugly last word from fully leaving his lips.

***

Jagger’s rant died the second Declan’s mouth closed over his and it took him several long moments to even process what was happening. His reaction to Declan calling him stupid had been unexpected and over the top, even for him, and he’d escaped outside to try to understand why a word that he’d heard so often in his life and that shouldn’t have had an impact on him anymore, had instead left him reeling with pain. He’d spent most of his life learning to be immune to the cruel taunts about his intelligence so Declan’s attack shouldn’t have even registered. But it had, and the feeling of weakness that had come with it had brought Jagger’s infamous temper to the surface and he’d lashed out at the porch column. But the biting pain in his hand had done nothing to ease the humiliation that was coursing through him and when Declan had followed him outside, Jagger’s only thought was that he needed to go on the offensive. He needed to show Declan that he had no power over him.

But that argument was shot to hell and all his anger disappeared as Declan’s tongue slipped between his lips and stroked over every surface of his mouth. The kiss was rough and desperate and fucking perfect and Jagger couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped him as Declan’s tongue licked his. At some point he must have released Declan’s arms because he found himself being turned around so that it was his back pressed up against the column. The hard cock brushing against his caused a burning deep in his abdomen as lust consumed him and he reached his hands down to grab Declan’s ass so that he could grind their hips together.

Fingers wrapped around the back of his neck to hold him still while he was tortured with kiss after kiss, each one deeper and needier than the last. But just as quickly as it had begun, it was over and Declan was pushing away from him, a look of horror passing through his gaze as his eyes met Jagger’s. It was definitely a ‘
What the fuck have I done
’ look and Jagger didn’t try to stop him when he quickly turned and went back into the cabin. God knew he needed a few minutes to figure out what the hell had just happened himself.

***

No, No, No, No.

What the hell had he just done?  Disbelief went through Declan as he reached out an arm to support himself against the kitchen counter. Had he really just fucking outed himself to a man he couldn’t stand…who couldn’t stand him?

Before he could stop himself, Declan ran his tongue along his lips and he shuddered at how sensitive they were. Jagger had tasted so much sweeter than he ever would have expected. And for someone so hard and unbending, Jagger had opened to him so beautifully…so willingly. The heat of his skin had burned Declan wherever he touched it and that slick tongue had returned every one of Declan’s seeking strokes. And their cocks…they’d found each other long before Jagger’s powerful hands had closed over Declan’s ass.

“Fuck,” Declan whispered and when he heard the front door open a tremor of fear went through him. He couldn’t deal with this right now. He quickly reached down and began cleaning up the mess on the floor.

“Declan…” he heard Jagger say softly.

“Want to give me a hand here?” Declan snapped. He hoped to God that his tone made it clear he wasn’t interested in discussion.

Jagger didn’t answer but Declan’s traitorous body could sense the bigger man just behind him. It would be so easy to turn around and pick up where they’d left off. Declan jammed one of the drawers back into place.

“Did you tell Ren what the plan was?” Declan asked.

“No, he didn’t,” Declan heard Ren say and he glanced up to see him standing in the doorway. His short hair was still slightly damp and the new jeans and T-shirt he was wearing hung loosely on his gaunt body. Declan had guessed correctly that the clothes would be too big but he’d deliberately chosen a larger size in the hopes that Ren would put enough weight on in the next few weeks to fill them out normally. Declan glanced at Jagger who was uncharacteristically silent.

“Why don’t we go sit down?” Declan suggested as he motioned to the living room.

Ren remained silent but he moved to the other room and Declan forced himself to ignore the heat of Jagger’s body as he brushed past him. His eyes found Ren standing near the fireplace, his arms hanging at his sides. But his hands were clenched and his features were drawn tight. It wasn’t a good sign.

Declan dropped down on the small couch and he didn’t miss the fact that Jagger placed himself by the front door. He was glad to see that Jagger had managed to get the door back on its hinges at least, even though there were several cracks running down the middle where the old wood had buckled under the pressure of Jagger’s weight.

“What do you remember about last night?” Declan asked Ren.

Ren seemed surprised by the question and it took him several seconds to answer.

“I…I remember you guys showing up.”

“Do you remember what happened before we got here?”

This time Ren needed much longer to consider it. “I remember getting here and I was glad when the code for the alarm worked. I was tired so I sat down for a while,” Ren said as he glanced down at the spot on the floor in the corner of the room. “Then you were there and you made me something to eat.”

Declan bent his head and ran his hand over the back of his neck. A quick glance at Jagger showed the other man wasn’t eager for what would come next.

“What?” Ren asked in confusion as he glanced between the two men.

“We were outside when we heard your gun go off,” Jagger said softly and Ren’s eyes shifted to follow Jagger’s gaze to the back door. He stiffened when he saw the bullet hole there.

“Jagger came through the door first,” Declan said gently as Ren’s eyes moved to him. If your aim had been a quarter of an inch to the right, he wouldn’t be here.”

Ren’s eyes widened as Declan’s meaning sank in and he glanced at Jagger. But when Declan spoke again, Ren returned his attention to him.

“You were about to pull the trigger again when I came in. You wouldn’t have missed a second time,” Declan added with emphasis. Ren shook his head in denial but when neither Jagger nor Declan said anything, the truth hit him. And it was quickly followed by anger.

“I told you to stay away, Declan!” Ren shouted. “We had a deal!”

“Our deal didn’t include you going out and buying a gun!” Declan returned. “Do you even get what could have happened?”

“I knew I couldn’t trust you,” Ren suddenly said. The words stung but Declan didn’t get a chance to respond.

“Hey!” Jagger yelled. “Where the hell do you think you’d be right now without him?” he said angrily as he pointed at Declan. “Because I can tell you and none of the scenarios end with you being a free man.”

“I can take care of myself,” Ren said mutinously.

“Like you took care of yourself last night?” Jagger bit out. “Shooting at ghosts?”

Ren remained silent but Declan was glad to see he hadn’t emotionally withdrawn himself from the conversation and didn’t seem to be on the verge of an episode.

“How long before a ghost turns out to be some innocent hiker who got a little turned around and came to your door asking for directions? How long before some hunter’s gunshots put you back in that hellhole and you become the hunter? What happens when you decide you’re okay to go back to the city and some guy mouths off to you because you accidentally bumped into him on the sidewalk?” Jagger asked.

“Jagger,” Declan said.

“No, Declan, we’re not going to tip toe around this,” Jagger said as his eyes flashed to Declan for a moment before returning to Ren. “You’re a smart man, Ren. You know that you have no hope in hell of beating this thing by yourself. And I know you don’t want to hurt anyone but the fact is that even without a weapon you’re a dangerous man.”

“Ren,” Declan said softly. “I know you’re scared. Scared that you’ll never be safe again. That you won’t ever be the man you used to be. Let Jagger and I take some of that burden off of you. We can keep you safe and we can make sure you don’t hurt anyone else by mistake. Maybe if you don’t have to worry so much about that shit, you can start figuring out the rest.”

Ren remained quiet for a long time and then he started looking around the room. His eyes went to the door and then to the wall where he’d ended up last night after the shooting. It took Declan a moment to realize he was remembering part, if not all, of what had happened.

“You said no one would touch me ever again,” Ren finally said.

Ren looked up at Jagger who nodded briefly and then his eyes met Declan’s. “Promise me you won’t let them take me, Declan,” Ren whispered desperately and Declan didn’t miss the sheen of tears in his eyes. Declan couldn’t stop himself from getting up and going to stand in front of Ren. He waited until their gazes connected before he spoke.

“I swear to God, Ren, no one will ever hurt you again.” He wrapped his hand around the back of Ren’s neck and squeezed gently and dragged in a breath when Ren finally nodded. And in that moment, Declan knew he wouldn’t break his promise to the younger man, no matter what.

***