Saving Ren (Barretti Security Series, Book 3) (7 page)

Declan promised. Ren kept repeating that to himself over and over as he watched the sunlight fade through the kitchen window. He was still working on the plate of food Jagger had slid in front of him and ordered him to take his time eating but with the caveat that he had to eat it all. For most, it wouldn’t be considered a huge portion but to Ren it looked enormous. It tasted really good though so at least there was that. And so far his stomach hadn’t rebelled though he was starting to get uncomfortable, especially as his anxiety began to notch up.

“When will he be back?” Ren couldn’t help but ask as he listened to Jagger working in the kitchen behind him. The logical part of Ren’s brain told him he was safe with Jagger but there was something about Declan that was strangely comforting. Which didn’t make any sense since he’d spent very little time around the quiet man who always kept to himself at the few family functions they’d attended at the same time.

“A few days,” Jagger responded. “He’s working tomorrow and has a family function this weekend.” Jagger returned to the table and dropped down in the chair next to Ren.

“I didn’t know he had much of a family besides Sylvie,” Ren said. At Jagger’s silence, Ren stilled. “It’s not
his
family, is it?” Ren asked.

Jagger shook his head. “It’s an engagement party for Logan’s sister and her fiancé.”

Ren remembered meeting Logan briefly at Vin’s house his first night back in Seattle. Vin had told him about the death of Dom’s wife and his newfound relationship with another man but admittedly, Ren had been too preoccupied to give it much thought at that time or even in the past couple of weeks.

“Have you met him?” Ren asked absentmindedly.

“Logan?”

Ren nodded.

“A few times. He comes to the office to meet Dom for lunch,” Jagger said.

“What does he do?” It felt strange to be asking someone else the questions he should have asked Dom or even Vin.

“He runs a foundation that helps kids in need. Kids from the street,” Jagger explained. “It’s named for Declan’s sister.”

That was a surprise. “Did Sylvie and Logan know each other?”

Jagger shrugged. “Not sure.”

“Strange,” Ren said.

“What is?”

“That Declan would be close to a man that replaced his sister.”

Jagger leaned back in his chair. “Is that really how you see it?”

“What? That he replaced her?”

“Yeah.”

Ren considered that for a moment. He’d never known any people that loved each other more than Dom and Sylvie. They’d been perfect for one another and he’d always envied what they’d had. And Dom had loved her too much to just so easily dismiss her memory for someone else.

“Don’t you think this thing with Logan is just some way for Dom to deal with losing Sylvie? Like a rebound thing?” Ren asked as he pushed his nearly empty plate away from him.

“No, I don’t think that at all. I’ve seen the way Dom and Logan look at each other. It’s the real deal,” Jagger said.

Ren must have looked confused because Jagger chuckled. “What, you don’t think it’s possible to love two people in the same way? Two soulmates?”

“I guess I’d have to believe in soulmates first before I could believe in having more than one in a lifetime.”

“You ever come close?” Jagger asked.

The sudden shift in conversation caused a knot to form in Ren’s gut but he managed to shake his head.

“Liar,” he heard Jagger say softly.

“What about you?” Ren asked.

“No,” Jagger said. “I think some people like your brothers are lucky to have found the people they were meant to be with but I’ve seen the other side of love – the kind that’s ugly and cruel. The kind that takes but never gives.”

The remark hit too close to home for Ren and he dropped his eyes.

“You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?” Jagger asked quietly. The man was either too damn observant or Ren really sucked at schooling his expressions.

Ren snatched his plate off the table and carried it to the sink. He took his time washing it and stacking it in the drying rack but Jagger hadn’t moved when Ren was finally forced to turn around. And those unnerving eyes were still on him.

“What’s next?” Ren asked. He glanced back at the fading daylight and felt an overwhelming need to examine every shadowy corner and check all the closets.

“How about a walk?”

Was the guy fucking crazy? But just as he was about to voice the question he saw the challenge in Jagger’s eyes. And God but if that didn’t feel a hell of a lot better than being looked at with pity.

“Okay,” Ren managed to get out though even he could hear the fear in his voice. But Jagger didn’t call him on it. He just reached into a drawer and pulled out a single flashlight.

“Let’s go,” he said with a grin but to Ren’s dismay, he kept the flashlight for himself.

Chapter 4

“We have a problem,” Declan said before Jagger could even get a word out. He took one of the grocery bags from Declan and ignored the bout of desire that surged through him as Declan’s unique, musky scent drifted over him. Neither of them had spoken since the day Declan had kissed him. After their discussion with Ren, Declan had quickly announced he needed to leave and had called only once later in the day to let Jagger know his whereabouts for the next several days.

Part of Jagger had been looking forward to seeing Declan again just so he could try to get a handle on what had happened between them. He had no idea if Declan was gay or straight or questioning but Jagger couldn’t get that fucking kiss out of his head or the feel of Declan’s tight ass beneath his palms. Add in his increasing attraction towards the young man he’d spent the last five days with and Jagger was stuck with an endless loop of questions that he couldn’t figure out the answers to. But Declan’s worried expression and hushed voice had all of those thoughts drifting to the background.

“What is it?” Jagger asked as he watched Declan close the trunk of his car.

“Where is he?” Declan asked, his eyes searching the surrounding glade.

“Still asleep,” Jagger said. “He had a rough night.”

“Nightmares?”

Jagger nodded. “We ended up doing a couple of perimeter searches before he settled back down. Happened again a few hours ago.”

“You okay?” Declan asked.

The question caught Jagger off guard but he managed a nod. “How about you? You look like shit,” Jagger said before he realized how obnoxious the words sounded. But Declan actually smiled briefly and Jagger felt his insides jerk at the sight.

“Rafe’s back,” Declan said.

“I know. Vin said he was hacking their system-” Jagger began to say.

“No, he’s actually back. He showed up at the engagement party last night.”

“Shit,” Jagger whispered.

“No one even knew he was in town and then he was just there,” Declan said.

“What happened?” Jagger asked softly as he heard the uneven tone in Declan’s voice.

“It was bad, Jagger,” Declan whispered.

Jagger couldn’t stop himself from reaching out and closing his hand around Declan’s upper arm. He was glad when Declan didn’t pull away from him. “Tell me,” Jagger said.

“The guy who took him – his biological father – he pimped him out,” Declan said hoarsely. “Fucker let some trucker rape Rafe in his rig while he was buying beer and a tank of gas.”

Jagger felt the bag of groceries start to slip from his lax arm and he quickly lowered it to the trunk next to the bag Declan had set there. “Jesus.”

“It sounds like it went on for years,” Declan said.

Bile crept up the back of Jagger’s throat and he needed to lean against the car to keep himself upright. “He was just a kid…” Jagger said.

“Eight,” Declan supplied. “He was eight.”

“Vin and Dom?” Jagger asked.

“Destroyed. Rafe blames them for not stopping it – for not coming to get him,” Declan said. “I’ve never seen Dom or Vin like that before…”

“Where’s Rafe now?”

Declan shook his head. “He took off. Told Dom and Vin he was done with them. Gave them back the information he stole.”

“Fuck,” Jagger whispered.

“Ren can’t know. Not yet,” Declan said.

Jagger nodded. Ren’s mental health was already shaky. Who knew what finding out that his baby brother had been through would do? “Agreed.”

Declan reached for the bag of groceries he’d put down but Jagger reached out a hand to stop him. “Declan, we need to talk about what happened the other day.”

Declan stiffened and pulled his arm free. “It was a mistake, Jagger. You were upset and I said something I shouldn’t have…”

Declan brushed past him but Jagger snaked out an arm and grabbed him by the waist. The move had both of them flinching as their bodies brushed against one another. Declan’s eyes grew heavy as Jagger let his hand travel down Declan’s hip. The muscles in his thigh twitched as Jagger pressed his fingers against it and Jagger glanced down and wasn’t surprised to see the outline of Declan’s cock against his jeans, the head bulging just inches from where Jagger’s hand was resting.

“Declan,” Jagger whispered as he began to move his hand but then Declan’s eyes flew open and he stepped back. Whatever spell Jagger had managed to weave was broken.

“Why don’t you get some rest?” Declan said quickly. “I’ll keep an eye on things.” And with that Declan hurried to the cabin leaving Jagger to wonder what the hell was going on between them.

***

“You do this a lot?” Ren asked as he stared at the top of the fishing pole in his hands. He’d never actually gone fishing before so he had no idea what he was supposed to be watching for.

“Used to,” Declan responded. “I don’t get out here as much as I’d like.”

“And you find this fun?”

Declan chuckled and Ren found himself enjoying the sound. He glanced at the man sitting on the ground next to him but was disappointed to see that if there had been a smile to accompany the chuckle, it was already gone. The only time he’d ever remembered seeing Declan smile was when he’d been in the presence of his younger sister and even then he’d always seemed grim and withdrawn.

“I find it relaxing,” Declan said. “Fun is relative, I guess.”

Ren looked around the small lake but saw no sign of movement and a quick check over his shoulder at the trail they’d used to get to the pristine body of water was quiet too. When he’d woken up, his anxiety had been as high as it had been throughout the night before. He’d been certain that someone had been fooling with the outside of the window in his room but subsequent searches of the outside of the cabin had proven fruitless. There hadn’t even been any foot prints. It had been Jagger who suggested dumping a light coating of baking soda they’d found in the pantry in the dirt underneath the window.

Ren had been surprised that the other man had even indulged him by taking him outside to check things but when he’d come up with the unusual “security” system, Ren had been touched. And when Jagger had been there each time Ren had been ripped from his sleep by nightmares, something inside of Ren had started to ease. They’d ended up searching the area surrounding the cabin at least three times last night but Jagger had never been dismissive or shown any signs of frustration. He’d simply led Ren to the place where they’d dumped the baking soda to look for footprints or any kind of disturbance and then he’d led him, flashlight in hand, through the dense woods surrounding the cabin. And he’d waited until Ren was satisfied before leading the way back to the cabin.

“How do you know Jagger?” Ren asked.

To his surprise, Declan tensed next to him and he wondered at the cause.

“He works for your brothers,” was all Declan said.

“So you two are friends?”

“No,” Declan said quickly. Too quickly.

Confusion went through Ren. “Then how did you both end up here?”

Declan glanced at him briefly and Ren saw in that moment that Declan knew he’d been found out. Declan sighed. “He followed me up here.”

“I don’t understand.”

Declan scrubbed his hand over his face. It was a move Ren noticed he often did when he seemed agitated.

“I was drinking in his friend’s bar one night last week. I had a little too much and Jagger took me home. I guess I mentioned you at some point so he started following me. He knew your brothers were worried about you so I guess he just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Ren could tell by the fact that Declan refused to meet his gaze that there was plenty he wasn’t telling him but he decided to let it go. “Why’d you help me that day, Declan?”

“You mean after the shooting?” Declan asked.

Darkness swept through Ren at the reminder of the man he’d killed. It wasn’t so much the man he was thinking about but the reason Ren had been in that deserted parking lot at all. But he didn’t want to think about that too much so he just nodded when Declan glanced at him.

“We go a long ways back,” was all Declan said.

“You and my brothers go a long way back,” Ren corrected. “I can count on one hand the number of times you and I have talked.”

“We’re family,” was all Declan.

Ren suspected he wasn’t going to get anything else out of Declan on the subject and he wasn’t sure he really wanted to. He was afraid that the answer might disappoint him.

“I’m sorry about Sylvie,” Ren said as his thoughts drifted to the blonde beauty who’d stolen his brother’s heart. She’d been full of life and energy and it broke his heart to think about the agony Dom must have experienced when he lost her. And he couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain Declan must have gone through at losing his baby sister. “I didn’t know she was sick again.”

“She got the diagnosis a year ago. June 20
th
. Her birthday.”

Ren felt a wave of pity go through him. June 20
th
was a week ago. The day before Declan and Jagger had shown up at the cabin. Probably the day Declan had gotten drunk.

“I didn’t go to the appointment,” Declan continued. “I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough this time around.”

“This time?” Ren asked softly.

“First one was when she was 12. She kept asking me if she was going to die. I promised her she wouldn’t.”

“How old were you?”

“Twenty-two,” Declan said.

“Your parents?” Ren asked.

Declan shook his head. “Too busy making all the right political connections to be bothered with a little thing like leukemia – especially when Sylvie had a nanny that once worked for an unnamed royal family in Europe,” Declan bit out. “Didn’t stop the bitch from hightailing it out of there when she found out she’d be expected to take care of a kid undergoing chemo.”

“You took care of Sylvie by yourself?” Ren asked.

Declan nodded. “I was so scared I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise,” he said. “The vomiting, the hair falling out, the exhaustion, the constant nausea…the doctors tried to prepare us for what to expect but you just can’t prepare for something like that. She was so brave. She didn’t even cry when I shaved her hair off.”

Declan suddenly laughed again but this time the sound was all wrong and it made Ren’s heart clench.

“First time she cried was when I shaved my head too. Second time was when she asked our parents to come home and they said they’d try…we both knew what that meant.”

“I’m sorry, Declan,”

Declan shook his head. “She got through it. She beat it the second time too. She’d met Dom by then and she was so scared he’d leave her. I guess I was too,” he admitted. “Your brother…” Declan started to say. “Your brother was a fucking saint. He was there for every treatment, every appointment.”

Ren’s insides tightened at the mention of Dom and a flicker of guilt went through him. He’d spent these past few weeks so focused on himself that he hadn’t given much consideration to what Vin and Dom had been going through in the past year. Or how his decision might have added to their already heavy burdens.

“Last year when she told me she wasn’t feeling well I made an excuse for why I couldn’t go with her and Dom to the doctor. Truth was I was too much of a fucking coward to face the truth.” Declan reached his hand up to rub at his eyes. “But when she told me she wasn’t going to beat it this time around…wasn’t going to even try…I lost it. I yelled at her. I begged her. I even gave her the silent treatment like some bratty little kid who doesn’t get his way. But she forgave me of course, and I was there at the end.”

Ren could feel the man’s pain washing off him in waves and the helplessness that Ren felt was overwhelming. So he did the only thing he could think of and closed his hand over Declan’s shoulder. He could feel the tremors running through Declan’s body as he fought to get himself under control. Ren let his hand coast across Declan’s shoulder blade before running it up and down the middle of his back. Declan dropped his hand but kept his gaze focused on the still waters of the lake. It wasn’t until he glanced at Ren that Ren felt something other than sadness shimmer through his own body. Something he couldn’t put his finger on. Something that should have had him drawing his hand back, not leaving it where it rested against the powerful muscles that rippled beneath Declan’s shirt.

“Looks like you’re getting a nibble,” he heard Declan say but the actual words didn’t register as Ren’s eyes fell on Declan’s mouth as he spoke. His lips were full and looked smoother than Ren would have guessed a man’s lips to be. And he had the slightest dimple in his chin…

“Ren, you’ve got one,” Declan said though he didn’t yell it. Because he didn’t want to scare him.

“Ren,” Declan said again and Ren felt his stomach flip-flop when Declan’s hand closed gently over his on the fishing pole. What the hell was wrong with him?

“Ren,” Declan said a third time and his voice was loud enough to jolt Ren from his wayward thoughts. And when he felt the pole jerk in his hand, reality returned and he instinctively reached for the reel.