SE Jakes Bound By Honor (20 page)

with a guy.”

“Is that what this is?” Damon asked, then wished he hadn’t.

“Ah, fuck, Damon, don’t start that shit with me.” He threw the phone to the table and slammed into the next room

where he’d converted a bedroom into a gym.

The man was always working out—for special forces, Rangers, yo u ha d t o i n order t o b e i n to p shape—but i t

was obvious Tanner was training harder these days.

He’d gone out for a run that morning—Damon had watched him leave the cabin as the dawn approached. Now,

Damon waited for a little while, listening to the heavy clank of the equipment before he walked in.

Tanner had stripped down t o a black wifebeater and baggy Nike shorts. His feet were bare a s he worked the heavy

weights, his muscles bunching a s he curled the heavy dumbbel s toward his chest. His body was covered with a fine

sheen of sweat, and Damon couldn’t help but stare at the fine specimen
Bound by Honor
Tanner was…forgetting for just

a moment that he was pissed as hel at Tanner for breaking his re-upping news to him that way.

The boy could do whatever he liked, but he knew it was a problem for Damon, that it always would be.

And yet, there were bigger issues between them than that. “How much money are you giving up?” he asked final y,

and Tanner let the weights drop to the floor with a loud clang.

“Does it real y matter?” he asked. “A lot. Enough to keep me for the rest of my life.”

Damon nodded as he watched the sun setting through the bay window behind the couch. Their last night here, before

they got on their bikes and headed back to the reality that had already begun to poke its unwanted head in. “And you’re

sure—”

“Yes.” Tanner didn’t give him any more room to ask questions. “Are you going to fuck me now or what?”

“Wel , when you ask me as nicely as that.” Damon could feel the anger radiating from the boy.

Although calm in his decision, talking with Damon had angered Tanner almost to the point of no return.

Even with the workout, the tension in his muscles was noticeable.

Damon would need to remedy that. “Get on your hands and knees.”

“Going al Dom on me, are you?” Tanner cocked a brow and remained sitting.

“Don’t press your luck—you know I can take you out of that chair and down on the floor.”

Tanner didn’t move for a long moment and then, with just a trace of hesitation, did what Damon asked.

Stil , he was anything but cooperative—the snarling look on his face told him Tanner was not prepared to do what

Damon said.

Damon always did like a chal enge. It was time to do what he did best…time to final y break through Tanner’s barriers

for good. And he left Tanner there for a long moment while he went to his bag to retrieve the handcuffs and took his time

getting back to the room.

“Am I in a time-out?” Tanner asked.

“You’re going to wish you were,” Damon told him, bent down and showed Tanner the cuffs.

Tanner fought them this time, told Damon, “Forget it,” but Damon wouldn’t let him make that choice.

No, just like Damon had told him, Tanner needed someone to take the choice from him.

“Damon, I said no—not now.”

“Don’t make me gag you.”

Tanner gave a
yeah right
snort and Damon slapped his ass, hard enough to make the boy jump.

“Done being a smartass?”

When Tanner didn’t answer, he knew they were part of the way there. And he cuffed Tanner’s wrists, wrapping the

chain around a bar of the heavy machinery, which would al ow Tanner to tal kneel but nothing more.

There was no way for Tanner to free himself—the machine had been bolted to the floor.

There was no chance of escape, and Tanner final y saw that.

“Please, Damon,” he started.

“Yeah, the nice act’s not going to get you shit.”

“Neither is subbing.”

“Trust me, this doesn’t make you my sub. But you need this, more than you know.” He bent and pul ed Tanner’s shorts

off, stroked Tanner’s half-hard dick with a rough touch as he inhaled the musky smel of sweat and man. And then he bit

Tanner on the back of the neck and heard the boy gasp.

Pleasure and pain, and Tanner would have al of it now.

“Turns you on to have al the power, doesn’t it?” Tanner spit out.

“Everything about you turns me the fuck on,” Damon told him. “You don’t know how badly I wanted to fuck you that first

night. Watching you bent over…chained down…fighting it and stil wanting it anyway.”

Tanner’s breathing was harsh as Damon brought him back to their first night together.

“And they were al watching you. Wondering how I got so damned lucky to have you under me.”

“And you didn’t have me.” Tanner’s voice was a growl.

“Stil mad at me about that.”

Tanner groaned under the touch but his body was tense.

“You think I rejected you just like your family did? That nothing I’ve done since then has real y made up for it?”

Tanner came then, reluctantly, because Damon dragged the orgasm from him. And Damon didn’t wait. He entered

him, since he’d slicked himself while he was speaking with Tanner…

“Fuck…”

“Exactly.” Damon rode him the way he’d wanted to…the way Tanner wanted him to. “This is what you wanted, wanted

me to take it from you that night so you wouldn’t have to explain it or talk about it or deal with it. So you could say you tried

it and could go back to topping and fucking everyone in sight…and you’d stil end up so damned unfulfil ed you’d wonder

what the hel was wrong with you.’

With that, he bucked against Tanner, buried to the hilt inside his ass so Tanner was alternately trying to get fucked

harder and trying to get away from the intensity.

It was only after they both came to screaming orgasms that Damon bent his head and finished his thought, whispering

directly into Tanner’s ear, “There’s nothing wrong with you, boy…you’re fucking perfect.”

And when Tanner started to sob, Damon knew he’d gotten through. He’d final y, for fucking sure, gotten through.

Just as quickly as the vacation had begun, it was over. The ride home was uneventful—both men on their own bikes,

leaving the cabin behind them…but they’d both stil come away with something from the trip they’d never expected.

And although Tanner was far more at peace with himself than when they’d started the trip, Damon was getting farther

from it. Maybe because he knew there wa s n o chance o f getting Tanner t o stay with hi m tonight, because the man

needed to check into post within the next few hours.

When they arrived at Crave, Tanner parked his bike out front, prepared to fol ow Damon to the club, as if protecting

him.

“I don’t need an escort.”

“I think you do,” Tanner told him with a grin and Damon grunted and got off his bike.

“You’re lucky I like you, or else I’d kick your ass.”

“You’ve been doing that already.” Tanner’s face flushed a little but the smile didn’t leave his eyes.

“You going to be able to do this? You and me—giving it a try? Because I’m re-upping. I’m not reconsidering that.”

Was he? “I’m stil here.”

“That’s a good start.” The smile spread across the sweet boy’s face. “A damned fine start.”

It was. And stil , “Look, i f this i s about being independent…I have money. You don’t need t o worry about your family

cutting you off.”

“It’s not about the money, Damon. I think you know that.”

He did. Stroked Tanner’s cheek and wished to hel he didn’t know. Didn’t want to think about him getting hurt.

“I could get hurt crossing the street,” Tanner said, reading Damon’s mind, which wasn’t that hard to do right now at al .

“That’s what the recruiters tel the nervous mamas. It never worked on them either,” Damon said quietly, knowing ful

wel that tomorrow, Tanner started training for a new mission, which meant he was certain to move out to the real thing

sooner rather than later.

He also realized, with a certain sense of irony, that by helping Tanner rid himself of his guilt over Jesse’s death, he’d

paved the way for the man to enter the even more dangerous world of Delta Force. In effect, he’d helped Tanner stay in

the Army.

“I want to come home to you. Do you understand that?” Tanner asked fiercely, grabbing Damon’s face in his hands. “I

never had that before. I’m not losing you when I just found you.”

“You don’t have control over that.”

“Neither do you. Not even if you locked me in the club,” Tanner pointed out and Damon didn’t know what to say. His

throat tightened. “Just don’t give up on me, Damon. Please.”

He wanted to say he wouldn’t, but the words wouldn’t come out. Tanner didn’t force the issue, just dropped his hands

from Damon’s face and revved up his bike. And then he rode away, leaving the bal entirely in Damon’s court.

Damon made it through New Year’s Eve at the club and the week after, al without hearing a word from Tanner. He’d

almost convinced himself that he could do this, because the attacks had seemingly come to a halt with the presence of

extra security around the club. Because LC told him to buck the fuck up and deal with it.

Because he realized that he’d fal en in love with Tanner, which was something Jesse somehow knew would happen.

The only comforting thought was that it appeared that Tanner felt the exact same way.

But when the phone rang at the end of the ninth day, it was the one Damon had been dreading. Having already been

on the receiving end of one, it was with a shaking fist that he held the phone t o his ear and listened t o Rex tel hi m that

everything was going to be fine
, but there’d been an accident.

“Tanner,” he said hoarsely.

“He’s in the infirmary.”

“What the hel happened?”

“Training exercise that got a little out of hand. He’s got a concussion. He hasn’t real y woken up yet, so they’re running

some tests.” He paused. “Damon, are you stil there?”

Damon wanted to be anywhere but on the other end of this phone cal . “Can I come see him?”

“Why do you think I’m cal ing?”

He’d hung up after Rex told him where to find Tanner and saw LC standing in the doorway, as if some sixth sense had

cal ed him there.

LC had taken one look at his face when he’d hung up the phone with Rex and walked out into the club and guided

Damon into the truck.

“He’l be fine. We used to get concussions during training al the time,” LC reminded him.

“This isn’t about us,” Damon growled and LC held up his hands in mock surrender.

“I forgot. Everything has to be made into a complete fucking drama.”

“Can you drop it?”

“Not until you can. Don’t freak him out, okay?”

Damon pushed out of the truck without another word and headed to meet Rex, who led him to the infirmary.

Introduced Damon as Tanner’s cousin so the doc would let him in.

“He’s stil out of it. We keep waking him, and the prognosis looks good,” the doctor told him.

“Staying in for a few days after an injury like this is routine.”

And final y—fucking final y—the doctor pushed the curtain back and let Damon in to see Tanner.

He fought the feeling of his knees buckling when he saw Tanner lying unmoving on the bed with al the monitors around

him, but he forced himself forward and made a closer inspection.

His right cheekbone was bruised but other than that, Tanner’s face remained unblemished. Damon curled his hand

into a fist so he wouldn’t stroke Tanner’s cheek with the doctor stil in the room. But when he was left alone a few minutes

later with the privacy curtain pul ed, Damon reached out and felt for his pulse, strong and sure under his two fingers.

Needed to feel it, despite the fact the machines told him Tanner’s heartbeat was strong as hel .

He’s fine
.
He’s absolutely fine. This was nothing.

And stil , his knees felt like they’d buckle any second.

He couldn’t do this. Not again. Because it would hurt much more this time.

When had that happened?

“Tanner, damn you,” he whispered.

Tanner didn’t answer and Damon remained there, holding his hand.

The camouflage paint stil lingered on parts of Tanner’s face. After a while, Damon took a cloth and wet it, began to

gently scrub the marks from his face as if he could wash away al the hurt and confusion…as if he could wipe away the

Army from between them and leave everything fresh and new.

Instead, it was messy and confusing for both. Or hel , maybe just for him, because Tanner seemed so damned sure of

himself. Of them.

When the hel had he lost total control of the situation?

The thing was, with Tanner, he did lose control, and the worst—the best—part of it was that Damon liked it.

But the fear was too intense, too overwhelming, and he was such a coward he couldn’t even stand himself.

He dropped the cloth, stared at Tanner’s face like he could memorize it that way.

He knew, no matter what, that he’d never forget al of this, and that made it al the more difficult to leave.

It was like trying to breathe underwater. Everything fucking hurt and Tanner shifted and tried to get comfortable and

yeah, that was not working.

The nurses assured him that he was getting a good dose of pain meds. He knew bruised ribs hurt like hel , and his

head throbbed in tandem and shit, he wanted to be in his own bed.

He must’ve been mumbling about that or God knows what because he heard, “Tanner, stop moving—

you’re going to hurt yourself more.”

He hadn’t realized he’d been thrashing until he felt the hands o n him, stopping him from moving from side t o side in