SE Jakes Bound By Honor (21 page)

search of comfort when there was none.

It was then that he opened his eyes and saw Damon standing over him.

Damon.
Shit.
Who the hel told him about this?

“I have my resources,” Damon said, because Tanner had obviously spoken his thoughts out loud.

Goddamned drugs.

“Don’t want you to see me like this,” he mumbled.

Damon stared down at him, brushed some hair from his forehead. “You look fine.”

“That’s…not what I meant.”

Damon didn’t say anything.

“I
am
fine, Damon.”

“That’s what the doctor said.”

“He’s right.” The look on Damon’s face, like he’d just seen a ghost, made him ache in places he didn’t know his heart

held.

“I should go.”

Tanner struggled to his elbows, despite the stabbing goddamned pain and Damon asking him if he was crazy. “Then

why’d you come here if you’re just going to run away?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“You wanted to make sure I was alive. And now you’ve decided that this is a great goddamned excuse to not let

things work out.”

“This isn’t the time o r the place. But yes, this i s over,” Damon ground out, the hardest words he’d ever remembered

speaking.

“You’re right.” Tanner sank back heavily onto the pil ows, a thin sheet of sweat covering him from that smal exertion.

“Get the fuck out.”

He didn’t have to ask twice.

LC was waiting with Rex, but the second he saw Damon, he stood and fol owed Damon outside.

He couldn’t even stop to say thanks to Rex, because he was afraid that if he stopped, he’d turn around and go back.

He’d never felt so weak in his entire life.

“It’s over,” he said final y, once he and LC were back in the club after a tensely silent ride.

LC stared at him steadily, a glint in his eyes that Damon recognized from their days spent in covert ops. “Yeah, I

figured you wouldn’t have the bal s to see it through.”

“What the fuck,
Law
?”

At that name, LC blinked hard and bal ed his fists. “You’re scared shitless. And it’s not for the reasons you think.”

“Christ, you’re an asshole,” Damon muttered.

“You want to know what your problem is?” LC asked and no, Damon didn’t want to but LC would tel him anyway.

“You’re scared because Tanner takes care of you in a way you’ve always wanted but you think it means you’re weak. You

lecture about how strong you need to be to be a sub, but when you realize that you don’t mind giving up some of that

famous Damon control, you freak.”

Damon clenched his jaw. In al the years he’d known LC, the urge to punch the man was never as strong as it was right

now. And LC knew that and continued to goad him.

“But right—blame Tanner’s job instead. And Jesse. Blame anyone and everyone but who’s truly responsible. You.”

Damon did grab LC by the front of his shirt this time and LC’s eyes blazed. “What the fuck do you want from me, LC?”

“Hurt me if it makes you feel better. Prove I’m right.”

Damon let go of his friend and walked out of the club, realizing he hadn’t proven anything to anyone at al that day.

Three days later, Tanner was let out o f the hospital. He was stil aching badly b ut i t didn’t matter. H e needed t o see

Damon.

Damon had been waiting for any excuse and Tanner had just handed it to him on a silver platter. But there was more

there that Damon was struggling with. His al -consuming need to protect Tanner and yet, when he couldn’t, his gut instinct

was to leave him.

He wasn’t letting Damon off the damned hook. No, Damon had opened up a whole new world to Tanner, and now it

was Tanner’s turn to return the favor.

A nd s o h e dragged himself into a ca b a nd into the club a nd pushed through the crowds. Pushed right through the

bodyguard who told him he was no longer welcome here.

“You are fucking kidding me, right?”

“No, I’m not.” The man stood in front of him, as if that would be enough to stop Tanner. The anger rose up, hot and

sharp, and he decked the guy with a swift right hook and walked past him.

“Let him through,” LC cal ed above the din and Tanner shook off the hands that attempted to hold him. He strode up to

LC, who said, “He’s in his office. That was his order, not mine.”

“I figured.”

“Hey.” LC caught him by the elbow before he went down the hal . “Don’t go easy on him. That’s the last thing he

needs.”

L C let g o when Tanner nodded and continued down the smal hal way until he got t o the office. He let himself i n and

slammed the door behind him hard, even as Damon was up out of his seat, cursing a blue streak.

And then he stopped suddenly, and Tanner realized with a start that it was the very first time Damon had ever seen

him in uniform. For a few long minutes, Damon simply stared at him and then final y, he found his voice again, his tone

angry as hel .

“Shouldn’t you stil be in the hospital?”

“That’s where you want me, isn’t it? Because then it’d be easier to handle. Easier to shove me away and treat me like

some distant memory.” Tanner was advancing and Damon was strangely glued to the spot.

“Why’d you come here?”

“Good to see you too.”

Damon didn’t look amused and yeah, this was very much like antagonizing a wounded lion, b ut Tanner wa s beyond

caring.

“I told you it was over,” Damon said bluntly.

“I don’t take your commands.”

“You like some of them wel enough.”

Tanner nodded at the truth of that statement and Damon continued. “You should go.”

“No.”

Damon’s eyes flashed. “It’s not the time to push.”

“I think it’s the best damned time. Time to start smashing down some goddamned wal s of yours.

Unless you think you can’t handle it.” And then Tanner was on him. “I’m not going anywhere, Damon.

Because I don’t want to. Because you don’t real y want me to. I don’t get it. You were in this world. You understand it.

So what’s the big goddamned deal? Because from where I’m sitting it’s stil al about Jesse, even though you’re insisting

it’s not.”

Damon turned away, and Tanner took that as a brush-off and grabbed Damon by the shoulder to turn him by force.

Damon reacted, the hard grasp to the shoulder, the touch, made him grab at Tanner and Tanner lashed right back at

him, and the fight was on.

The men went down, tumbling bodies entwined as they rol ed, hitting the wal first and then the desk as they each got

in their punches and sputtered curses…grunting and sweating…and then it changed.

Tanner was hard. So was Damon, and when he managed to get a hand between them to stroke Tanner’s cock,

Tanner continued to struggle.

“Don’t,” Tanner grunted. “Can’t think when you do that. Can’t fucking stay pissed…”

But Damon wasn’t pissed any longer—Tanner could see that rol ing together this way had gotten Damon worked up

to a point where he was beyond the normal control he held over himself. “I don’t care what you want right now. It’s about

my wants.”

“About fucking time,” Tanner managed to gasp even as Damon moved off him.

“On your knees,” Damon commanded and Tanner complied, even though his ribs ached. He wouldn’t not fol ow these

orders even if i t kil ed him. Damon yanked his jungle cammy pants down, his boots off, and he was ass-up naked in

under a minute.

A nd suddenly, h e wa s nervous. I t wa s like being a virgin a l over again, a nd i t hadn’t been that long a g o that he’d

experienced al of this.

“Please…”

“You think asking nicely’s going to save you from this, little boy?” Damon breathed in his ear.

“You’ve been pushing for this since day one. And now you’re going to get what you want.”

“You’re what I want,” he whispered, but far too low for Damon to hear.

“Going to make you my little bitch. Is that what you want?”

“Yes.”

“Louder.”

“Yes, I want to be your little bitch!”

Damon dragged the boy off his knees and over to the couch, pushed him down to sitting. His cock was hard again

and he was impatient as al get-out.

He was mesmerized at the jut of Tanner’s hipbones, traced them with his thumbs as he licked the head of Tanner’s

cock and watched the boy jerk.

“Fuck,” Tanner growled, and he was so beautiful, lying there, waiting for Damon to take him.

His mouth slid lower, Tanner’s legs splayed over Damon’s shoulders, his ass spread wide, and Damon tongued his

ass and Tanner cursed again and groaned and fucked the air desperately, needing to feel something on his dick.

He’d be reduced to begging soon, Damon knew as his tongue and finger entered Tanner’s ass…a knuckle bent to

brush the prostate and Tanner was moving, moaning, so Damon went in for the kil , his face buried in Tanner’s ass.

Tanner’s would be buried in his later. Damon would make sure of it.

He heard a soft gasp from Tanner, looked up to see the boy spread wantonly in a deliciously debauched position.

The soft rasp o f pressure from Damon’s tongue against Tanner’s perineum and another gasp—louder this time. Hi s

legs spread wide…a hand threaded in Damon’s hair.

Unable t o hold back, Damon’s tongue speared Tanner’s hole, leaving the man thrashing against the couch. With his

hands firmly holding Tanner’s thighs apart, he continued the assault until Tanner was pleading that he needed to come.

Right. Fucking. Now.

There was something delicious about letting the boy attempt to give the commands, letting him run as wild as he

wanted to. “Not yet.”

“Jesus, Damon, please. Fuck, I…” There was a frantic struggle a nd then heavy pants. Tanner’s muscles strained as

Damon kept his thighs opened and his tongue and fingers thrusting in tandem, taking Tanner and claiming him…

watching his cock bob, precome leaking.

“Damon, please.” Tanner’s voice took a slightly higher pitch, even as Damon added a third finger and then a fourth…

twisted and licked and realized he was about to come al over himself. So he did at the same time Tanner’s orgasm

shot through him and for a long moment, both men stared at one another as the sensations of pleasure racked their

bodies.

And then Tanner rol ed over onto his side, curled in a bal , body shaking from the sensations.

It left his ass open to Damon, who was hard again and entering his already primed hole, fil ing him because the boy

was helpless to stop it. He offered no resistance as Damon slammed into him over and over until he clutched the

cushions and got himself onto his knees even as Damon wound a hand in the back of his hair, holding on like Tanner was

a wild horse and Damon was digging in the spurs and showing him who was boss.

Tanner was so damned strong—he fought, bucked, and that made it more of a turn-on for Damon as he held him

down and listened to him alternately beg and curse.

But ultimately, Tanner could do nothing but try to grab the side of the couch as Damon took him, hard and fast until

Tanner was inco-fucking-herent, his ass fil ed, his body moving with every one of Damon’s thrusts.

Damon would leave marks…he wanted to leave marks, especial y when he heard the rough, urgent, growl drumming

in the back of his throat as he pushed Tanner over an edge he hadn’t even known existed.

“You look damned good in uniform,” Damon murmured against his ear. Tanner was splayed on the couch under him,

his body worn out, and the anger and hurt had dissipated.

He only had another few days of medical leave before he had to be back for mission planning. He’d been so pissed

at Damon that he hadn’t even thought about the fact that he’d been wearing his cammies, and with the Army stil a nearly

unreachable subject between them, it had been a damned dangerous move.

Dangerous, but necessary.

“Did I hurt you?” Damon asked when Tanner didn’t say anything.

“Yeah, you did.”

Damon rol ed off him, immediately concerned, and then realized that Tanner wasn’t talking physical y, despite the tol

their earlier fight had taken on his stil -sore body. “Fuck, Tanner, I’m…”

Tanner held up his hand to stop Damon from talking. Got off the couch himself and began to gather his clothes. “Stop

saying you’re fucking sorry, Damon. I can’t deal with it. You want me. You’re going to have to find a way to get over this

bul shit. Because I don’t believe your
sorry
shit anymore.”

“Then why come here?” Damon chal enged.

“Because I’m not letting you get away with your bul shit excuses anymore. If you don’t love me, don’t want to be with

me, that’s fine—I’m a big boy and I can handle it. But I don’t know what the hel else is going on between us. This is way

beyond Jesse and your fear o f m e dying. And i f I leave fo r this mission without things resolved between us, I’ m not

coming back here to you, for my own goddamned sanity.

Bal ’s in your court, the way it’s been for the past few weeks. But you needed to see that even though I got hurt, I’m stil

here. I want to be here. And I wasn’t going to let your last memory of me revolve around me passed out in a goddamned

hospital bed. Let tonight burn in your memory and we’l see if you’re man enough to handle it this time.”

And then, just like that first night, he walked out of the club with his clothing in his hand…except this time, he let the

tears fal before he got to the car.

LC hadn’t meant to watch Damon fucking Tanner in his office. But he’d waited outside the office, not wanting the men