SEAL Brotherhood 06 - SEAL My Destiny (8 page)

She didn’t want to ask, but she had to. “Am I a substitute for someone you miss?”

He didn’t pull her towards him to try to convince her. “God, no, Julie. It just surprised me. All the guilt about causing the accident came flooding back to the surface, and I went right into shut-down mode.” He pressed his forehead against hers and took hold of her hands in one of his. “I’m in counseling now, and I’ve learned a few things. It’s one of the reasons I wanted to apologize.”

She smoothed his fingers, aware that their entanglement was deepening.

And she didn’t care.

“I was told not to expect you’d forgive me. Or to hang my getting better on whether or not you wanted to have anything to do with me anymore.”

She placed her palms on his cheeks. “I’m not going anywhere, Luke. I’m right here.”

She’d forgotten how much she’d missed his kiss. When their lips met, it was so natural to open to him, let him taste her, feel his mouth claiming her and let their tongues mingle. When he groaned, she felt his need, his loneliness rise to the surface. She gave him back everything she could, kissing his eyes, his temples, fondling the hair at the nape of his neck.

“God, Luke. I never realized how much I’d missed you until right now.”

“Baby. Stay with me. Don’t go, sweetheart.”

“Yes.” There was nowhere else she could go. Her whole world was right here in this room with her.

He slid his fingers under her cotton shirt, squeezing her breast as she recalled her naughty black satin bra. He bit the side of her neck and she hissed, arching back, pressing herself against his torso. She kissed every button she unbuttoned down his chest, flicking his skin with the tip of her tongue, drinking of the salty, musky scent of him. She heard the vibration of his guttural response when her lips touched his chest, her tongue encircled his nipples, and her teeth nipped at him gently.

She was breathless, starved for him. He rewarded her sighs by lifting her in his arms and laying her on the bed. He watched as she wiggled her way out of her jeans. He matched her by removing his, and then uncovering his massive torso. She watched his corded muscles move just under the surface of his tanned and scarred skin.

Fully bare to him, she let him gaze at her in the morning light. Her peach was dripping with anticipation. After sheathing himself, his beautiful frame came to kneel over her. Then he gently pressed down his body, holding himself flat, like one long plank, touching her first with his cock at her belly button and then covering her warmly, as she lifted her knees and wrapped her legs around his waist.

She fully accepted his girth, riding him, moving her hips to his penetration, at first slow and deliberate, and then settled into a rhythm that ignited her. She felt how easily he slipped in and out of her wet channel. Arching backward, the back of her head rooted down into the pillow, she dropped her legs, pressed her heels to the bed and met him, shoving her pelvis onto his shaft while he plunged in relentlessly deep. The pre-orgasm drowning sensation, the feeling that she would never get enough of him, like she needed more air, overtook her, and her internal muscles began to pulse and snap tight against him.

“Yes, baby. Sweetheart, fly away with me, baby.”

“Oh, God, Luke. I love this.”

“Yes, it’s good for me too, baby,” he whispered, burrowing his face into the side of her neck and beginning to suck.

Her bones were made of rubber. She merged all around him, rubbing his ass with her palms and then pulling him deeper. Crying out for him as her shattering rocketed throughout her body. She began to whimper, her self-control now fully gone. She was pliable, putty in his arms, needing his hardness, needing to feel his muscular shoulders, taste the sweat at the top of his breastbone. He was arching, groaning and she wanted to feel his groan in her mouth so she rose and begged, pressing her lips to his, and sucking his tongue deep.

The jerking of his cock while her sensitive walls clasped him encouraged him to spurt his seed, gave them delicious seconds of respite. The refreshing satisfaction of two bodies in perfect synch, both needing and serving up each other’s passion equally.

As he collapsed against her chest, she traced her fingertips over his back and butt cheeks, rewarded with an occasional jerk her touch stimulated in him. She loved the feel of this warrior’s body on top of her, in her, all around her. His strong arms held her as no other had ever done. The world was a magical, safe place again, as long as Luke was there with her.

‡

L
uke was deliciously
tired from their lovemaking. Afterwards, as they were catching their breath, she didn’t stop the soft caresses at his back, and he found himself slipping into a pool of apricot light. He felt safe. Loved. He was grateful he’d had enough sense not to scare her away. He was also grateful he’d gotten a chance to make things a little more right with her, emotionally. Or at least he hoped it’s what had happened. In his current state, he wasn’t quite sure.

He told himself it wasn’t just because they were going to be family, it was because he’d known it was the right thing to do, even if she never wanted to have anything more to do with him after. He’d hated himself for how he’d treated her, and hoped she didn’t still feel he had taken more than he had given. It was worth the risk, and at the first sign of resistance, he planned to stop.

But she went with him to the place where there wasn’t any pain, where the future wasn’t a dreaded, dark place. Where everywhere around him the people he cared about hadn’t left him. She stayed, holding his hand for those few delicious moments.

He sank into a deep sleep in her arms.

He woke up
refreshed, but alone in the bed. The sun had dipped lower, telling him it wasn’t early evening yet, but he’d spent the day sleeping, with the curtains open. It was a very hopeful sign.

“Julie?” he called out, not seeing her clothes on the floor. No sounds came from the closet or bathroom. “Julie, are you still here?”

There was no answer.

He fell backwards into the bed, worried he’d done something to set her off. Her scent was still in the sheets, but the place where her body had lain was cold. He missed her terribly.

He got up, searching the room, looking for evidence she had been there on the off chance this had all been a dream, like so many of the other dreams he’d been having lately. On the dresser, near the TV, he found a note.

Thank you for breakfast. Just had some things I needed to do for the wedding, and thought I’d give you some space. Try to get some rest.

He fingered the note, the swirling, perfect script of her cursive handwriting. It was nice of her to leave it for him, but it was also nice of her to give him some room. She’d not asked or said anything about getting together again, although it was certain they’d see each other before the wedding. But he liked that she didn’t cling to him. He knew he wasn’t a very good prospect to cling to, anyhow.

He called his LPO, Kyle Lansdowne, overdue to check in.

“You getting rest?” Kyle asked.

“Yes, even took a nap this morning.”

“Long night?”

“Actually not. We had the rehearsal and dinner last night at Stephanie’s in-laws. Nice people.”

“Glad to hear it.”

“Actually feels kind of fuckin’ normal up here. I’m relaxing, Kyle.”

“Yeah, until you meet someone. Luke, you be real careful with your behavior, hear me? Maybe caution on the side of keepin’ it zipped?”

“I understand,” he said, not wanting to find out what Kyle would think of his breakfast date.

“And use this time to get some rest. Next workup, I want you in it, but I also want you whole.”

“Roger that.”

“Say hi to Stephanie for me,” Kyle said. Luke could hear their toddler, Brandon, in the background.

“You babysitting again, Kyle?”

“Fuckin’ A. Someone’s got to pay the bills.”

Christy was a successful realtor, and made far more money than her SEAL husband. But she also had a tendency to spend more than most the rest of the wives combined.

Luke showered and
decided to stop in at a Navy recruiter, as was his custom when he traveled. Most of the men and women who worked there were more than happy to have an active duty SEAL for their young prospects to talk to, ask questions of. The office was sparsely populated, although all the branches of service had offices in the same building. A pool table was in one of the big meeting rooms. A video was streaming in the corner, showing training tapes just above a table filled with recruiting information.

Luke watched a Navy SEAL video showing a boat crew barreling down a river somewhere, firing guns and soaking the surrounding riverbanks with twenty-foot plumes of water. The virtues of joining the Teams were being extolled between scenes of gunfire and water blasting. One segment read: Enjoy Wildlife. In the background, the SWCC boat crew was silent until a large sea bass leapt in front of the boat. The gunner in front shot it, causing it to fall into their boat. That clip always made Luke laugh.

He spent a few minutes talking with the recruiters there, and with a couple of the boys who were inquiring about life in the military. He was always happy to talk to them, although the hero worship he saw in their eyes did make him a little uncomfortable. He never thought of himself as a very big deal. Especially not now.

Luke also knew every man’s journey was his own. Every man’s pain was his own to deal with. But asking for help was the hardest part…and something they all had to do.

He agreed to do some physical training with a few of the young recruits later in the week, if something could be arranged in time.

He called Nick Dunn, whom he had befriended during their last tour together with SEAL Team 3. Nick was building a house on a little ten-acre patch in the middle of a valley floor surrounded by vineyards. There’d be another wedding some time later in the year, when the house was finished. Nick and Devon wanted to be married in the gardens his sister, Sophie, had started several years before she died of cancer.

“Holy shit, I didn’t believe it when Kyle told me you might be up this way.”

“I’m here, all right. Can I come see what you’re doing?”

“You are most certainly welcome. I’ll even let you use my hammer,” Nick said. “You got old clothes you can get dirty, or are you fixin’ for a hot date?”

“I’m good with the getting dirty. And the girl might be okay with me dirty. But I got no plans right now.” Luke felt a pang of regret that he didn’t have plans, but knew it was best for the two of them to have some space. In fact, he was grateful Julie wasn’t all over his phone, texting and calling. It made it a lot easier to relax until he could figure out what was best for both of them.

Luke drove out Bennett Valley Road, enjoying the vineyards flipping by like cards being shuffled. The leaves were lush and green, some of the dark fruit hanging visible in their shade. He’d always wanted to spend time in the wine country. Something about it made him feel at home.

He turned left onto a gravel driveway. Nearly a half mile later, he could see a beautiful, contemporary home taking form. The structure rose from the ground like a giant, wooden crystal. The lines of the house extended in several directions, with large second story windows overlooking the vineyards and tops of golden hills surrounding the valley floor. The roof was made of a dark green metal like he’d seen in snow country. The outside was still papered in white construction membrane.

Nick greeted him, shirtless and tanned. Luke thought he looked good. He’d have to say happy. He knew what a rough tour Nick had as well, and knew he was sitting out the next rotation, just as Luke had considered doing.

“Great to see you, man,” Nick said once they’d completed their man-hug and backslapping.

“You, too. Look at this place,” Luke said, and whistled, studying the unusual two-story structure.

A dark-haired beauty in jeans walked outside, removing her pink gloves, dirt smudged on her cheeks, and wearing a white T-shirt so big it fell off one shoulder. With a commanding voice, she extended her hand to him. “Hi, I’m Devon. Welcome.”

Luke noticed how quickly Devon wrapped her arms around Nick’s waist and let him pull her close. He was pleased to see his former teammate so happy and settled. It was one of the things he wanted to discuss with his buddy, if time permitted.

“So, show me around,” Luke said.

“Well, this was my sister’s nursery.” Nick’s jaw flickered, like he was gritting his teeth. It had only been a few months since his sister’s death. “Sucked as a nursery, but she sure as hell got the location right.”

Luke examined the golden, oak tree-studded hills, the gentle breeze blowing over the tops of the grape vines over the fence, making a whirring sound he found very peaceful. Rock walls bordered a rose garden and a vegetable garden. Sunlight flooded from the sky as it retreated for its nightly rest behind the golden hills.

Luke walked into a huge great room two stories tall. The light was warm, coming from more than thirty windows. He walked on a polished concrete floor which looked like granite. Everywhere he looked there was an eclectic blend of furniture, including pieces from India and Africa, as well as carpeting from the Middle East. The place was ablaze in color.