SEAL Of My Heart (5 page)

And then he remembered Kate with a start. She had missed all of it and was looking into the glass case, examining some pink frosted mini donuts displayed next to a couple of wilted green salads. But she was more interested in the salads.

“Sorry about that,” Tyler started to say, cramming his hands in his front pockets. Shoot, now he was feeling like a goofy high schooler himself. Funny how coming home did that to him. “Kenny—”

Before he could finish, Kate leaned into him and gave him a kiss. Just a quick one. Just enough to make the rock music and the intoxicating smell of sugar and baking disappear. His heart pounded. His face had followed hers as she retreated until it almost caused him to topple. He was desperate for another one.

Wow. Holy. Fuckin’. Wow!

‡

K
ate didn’t know
why she’d done it. The impulse to kiss him was just too irresistible. She’d just crossed the barrier between her ordered, “perfect” life with the man she
thought
she loved, and did something dangerous with someone she barely knew, but trusted.

What in the world was happening?

The warm creases at the corners of Tyler’s blue eyes made her heart flutter. Unless she was losing her ability to read men, he’d loved her little surprise kiss, her spontaneity. And, based on the way he’d leaned into her, he wanted
more
.

Then she realized she didn’t know what
she
wanted. One thing was certain. She was in serious danger of taking a huge detour. Something that would change her life forever.

She tore her eyes off his face and scanned the case containing dangerous round things covered in sprinkles and powdered sugar. The heady aroma made her want to swoon. Out of the corner of her eye she could see him lean forward, felt him wrap her forearm with his warm fingers. His hand slipped down to her wrist and hesitated while he studied her. She didn’t resist when his slid his fingers in between hers, mated them without saying a word. He waited, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb.

He was asking her a non-verbal question she wasn’t sure she’d be able to answer. The confections were safer—way safer—than the blue of his eyes and the warm blush of his lips, if she would but sneak a peek at him. The distraction of their sugary irresistibility would only last so long. She’d have to look at him soon, and that would tell her everything she either did or did not want to know.

She drew her breath in, gaining courage, and looked up to return his gaze at last.

His head was tilted to the side. He swayed like he was going to ask her to dance. His knowing smile and warm eyes seem delighted with the budding of a new relationship looming as large as the little shop. And there was the attraction again, starting at the pit of her stomach, almost like a food craving. Something about him was so right on so many levels and so wrong on a couple of big ones.

As if he was acknowledging her internal thoughts, mirroring them with identical ones of his own, he nodded slightly. The unashamed way he allowed the lust to show in his eyes as he focused on her mouth again, as he squeezed their fingers together, as she let him pull her to him, sent her ears buzzing and her heart racing. Slowly, their lips met again as old, hungry friends, and this time it was a proper kiss. She opened to him, and she felt his chest rise, his slight moan vibrating in her chest as well.

Then Kate realized the moan was coming from her own throat. She tasted him, exploring the texture of his tongue, the softness and warmth of his lips on hers as they slid and angled the length of hers in play. They dropped their entangled fingers and he placed his palm at the small of her back, pulling her to him as she stepped into his full embrace.

Her palms traveled up the hardened muscles of his torso to the base of his neck, then around, pulling his head down to hers, lazily letting her fingers sift through his hair. He wasn’t going to go faster than she wanted to go. Each move she made was perfectly matched with his own, such that they led each other, drew each other together and savored their shared heat.

Something in the back of her mind was sending up an alarm, as though part of her knew this kiss wasn’t wise. But being rational was a distant planet. Kate
wanted
to let herself be carried away, loose the bonds of her control. Being so intimate with this complete stranger somehow seemed as natural and right as smiling.

As their lips parted and his arms squeezed her waist in a kissless hug, he whispered to the side of her face, “Thank you, Kate. Thank you.”

Thank me? For what?
Was he thanking her for ignoring her standards? Her loyalty to her fiancé? Or, did he sense that he had a chance at a relationship with her? That this wasn’t a casual kiss or an opportunity taken, stolen from someone else’s life. This was something more.

She heard the titters of Kenny and his friend, and Kate blushed about having been so oblivious. She wondered what they must think of her getting so carried away so quickly, and then realized with a start she didn’t care. As she peeked at their audience, Tyler didn’t move. He was still focused on her face.

Reality began to sink in. As if he read her thoughts, he stepped back, still holding her hand, and addressed the gawking and awkward sounds, like noises from a video game, coming from behind him.

Kate studied his mahogany brown hair, worn a little too long, curling behind his ears and over the top of his shirt, his tanned face in profile—a face which now seemed so familiar to her. He warmly addressed their audience, and she didn’t care what he said. She just wanted to listen to him say it.

“Sorry, guys. I guess I got a little carried away with—” Tyler turned to address Kate and his face lit up with another warm smile, eliciting the same from her. “I was not able to stop myself.” His lashes fluttered as he dropped his gaze to examine her lips again.

Kenny and his lady friend probably hadn’t noticed that Kate was the first one to make the move, initiate their first kiss, but Tyler took the fall for it. At that, her excitement over what could be was more important than what had been. Her future was eclipsing her past.

Tyler’s fingers moved a ringlet of hair from next to her cheek and tucked it behind her ear, his thumb caressing her lower lip. She felt the exquisite knotting of her nipples and the ache in her core. She wanted his hands on her, anywhere.

“So much for ‘we’re just giving her a ride to her sister’s,’ bro,” Kenny said with a smirk.

“And that’s still the plan,” Tyler said as he drew her to his side.

Now it was Kate’s turn to say it. “Thank you,” she whispered. He rewarded her with a squeeze, and she found herself leaning into him again.

Kenny cleared his throat. “So, just tell Vonda here what you want, and she’ll make us some sandwiches, right sweetie?” He gave Vonda a quick peck on the cheek.

Tyler led them over to the corner table after they’d placed their orders, and the three of them sat. Kate watched the eclectic variety of customers come and go. The crowd apparently purchased donuts all day long. Kenny and Tyler bantered back and forth, needling each other and catching up. Kate found herself wanting to hear more about the librarians Tyler had dated, but the conversation stayed strictly away from them.

“I report back next Friday. We do a week of workup,” Tyler was saying. “Been preparing hard for this one for over four months.”

“Where are you going?” she asked him.

“We have a general idea, but it could be anywhere.” Tyler delivered it flat, but then his eyes wandered down the side of her face, over her shoulder and then back to her chest. She felt herself blush. Afterwards, their eyes did not meet.

“Cool. So like Tunisia? Morocco?” Kenny wanted to know. He nodded a greeting to a couple of skateboarders with purple and green hair who had entered the shop.

Tyler shrugged and shook his head. “Even if I knew, couldn’t say.” He punched Kenny in the arm. “You know that.”

Kenny rolled his eyes as he complained nonverbally to Kate.

“Hey, Kenny,” Tyler began. “I got a friend you got to meet. Cooper, our corpsman, that’s our medic. He’s the biggest gadget guy I’ve met, outside of you, of course.”

“Yeah?”

Kate had finished her lunch and sat listening.

“I think you two’d have a good time. You should come down to San Diego, I’ll introduce him to you. You can bring Vonda, if you like,” Tyler said as an afterthought, winking at the tattooed beauty behind the counter. “We have this lady in San Diego who does amazing tats, works on all of us. A fuckin’ knockout, too, named Daisy. She has the softest hands and the biggest—” his cupped hands had gone out in front of his chest until he looked at Kate and abruptly stopped, dropping his hands to his lap.

At the mention of Daisy’s name, Kate found herself feeling uncomfortable, perhaps a little jealous. Tyler sighed, apparently deep in thought.

“That depends,” Kenny replied, leaning back on his chair and rocking it precariously.

“On what?”

Kenny dropped back forward, placed his palms on the pink, glitter-flake Formica tabletop and stared at Kate, raising one eyebrow. “Is Kate going to be there?”

He wiggled his eyebrows for effect.

Kate found herself blushing again as Tyler’s eyes swept from his friend’s to her face. Did he see the flutter in her chest? The red blotchy marks there? The flush on her cheeks?

“I dunno where Kate will be,” he began in a whisper. “But she’s welcome to come to San Diego when I get back from deployment. Any. Time. She. Likes.”

She melted into his warm smile, and then looked down. Suddenly, she remembered her sister, who might be waiting for her at the house. “You guys,” she began, “I need to go. How much do I owe?” she asked.

Both men held out their hands, declining. “We got this,” Tyler said.

The road to
her sister’s house was winding. Freshly rained-on surfaces made the green shrubbery brighter, the blue sky more intense, the grey and white billowy clouds more defined. She’d always loved the faint smell of the huge Columbia River as it snaked around the waterfront. Her sister’s house was on one of the prominent hills overlooking rows of trendy commercial districts and warehouses.

She’d been quiet while she watched the wisps of Tyler’s hair blow in the breeze blowing in the little crack in his window. The conversation between the two friends was background noise to her thoughts, which began to darken and become heavier. She was beginning to regret the doorway she’d plunged them both through.

What was I thinking?

Her ordered life was close to perfect, maybe too perfect, she thought. She’d gotten the handsome guy with the wealthy parents who doted on him and had shown her nothing but affection. Maybe they were a little overbearing at times, like the way Mrs. Heller took over some of the details of their wedding, insisting on using her caterer and ordering all the flowers for not only the reception but the ceremony as well. She could understand the caterer decision, since the reception was going to be held at the family winery and she needed to be able to work with the staff. But the flowers had been done without even consulting Kate’s mother, who had been a little hurt by the gesture, although Mrs. Heller said she’d intended to help.

A small war was brewing between the two sets of parents as to who could provide the most for the couple. Kate knew her parents felt slightly embarrassed they weren’t able to promise the same lavish gifts Randy’s parents did. To Kate, that was her only concern: how her parents felt. She never wanted to forget where she came from. There were times the Hellers seemed to live in a fantasyland they wanted to suck her into.

But who am I to question all of this?
She knew all of her friends, especially Sheila, were over the top excited for her. Randy had long been the one whom every one of her friends had wanted to snag, and they’d all tried.

Kate realized he’d chosen her probably because his family and background didn’t really impress her, and so she’d paid him little attention until he began courting her in earnest. This had surprised her as much as it dismayed her friends. Settling down hadn’t been on her radar, but once she got involved with Randy, things had escalated and before she knew it they were engaged. Everyone was jumping up and down with excitement.

Kate had thought perhaps she’d get excited once it was closer her wedding day. But her fears and jitters were growing instead.

And now this.

Which is why it was so odd she’d made it all complicated and kissed Tyler. And wanted him to kiss her back. Yes, there was a physical attraction there, but her initiating the kiss had come from somewhere else. She decided to cleanse her head of that thought. It was unhealthy. Time to start living in the
reality
that was her life.

She was going to marry Randy Heller in September like she’d promised, and all would be right with the world. And Tyler would come home from overseas, healthy and whole, to the waiting arms of some other woman.

Not her.

She felt her eyes burn with the beginnings of a cry forming. No way was she going to show that to anybody. She dismissed her melancholy mood as wedding jitters plus the upcoming visit with her vibrant, overbearing sister and three unruly kids.