Seasons of Sugarcreek 03. Autumn's Promise (3 page)

“Grace…she’s not coming back.”

Abe’s words hit him like a blow to the chest. “I realize that. Now I’ve got to get back to work.” Smiling weakly, he added, “It won’t get done by itself, you know.”

“Robert—”

“Leave me be. Please. Just tell Mary and my father you tried, cousin.”

Abe stood frozen in his spot. “But one day? Will you ever be able to move on?”

“Perhaps.”

“Perhaps?” Hope entered his voice. “
Sehr gut!
Is there anyone special?”

“Nee.” Although, as soon as he disclaimed it, a sudden vision of a blond woman with curly hair flashed into his head.

After Abe left, Robert sat down and stretched out his hands. They’d been clenched in an effort to control his emotions.

Yes, he was finding it difficult to be around friends and family and talk about life like he had nothing more on his mind than the recent weather report.

But, fact was, he had a great many things on his mind…the least of which was his disturbing attraction to an
Englischer
. To Lilly Allen.

She was as unsuitable for him as Grace had been perfect. Of course, Grace had been everything proper and good. She made him happy and centered. They’d believed in the exact same things and seemed to bring out the best in each other.

Lilly, on the other hand, was too young. She was too beautiful, with her curly blond hair and chocolate-colored eyes. She’d had a relationship out of wedlock and had even had the misfortune to become pregnant.

And then, of course, she’d lost the baby.

So why could he not look away from her? She drew him to her like a shining star in the dead of night. He’d found himself thinking of her when he fell asleep.

And sometimes, while working in the silence of his workshop, he’d found himself imagining her by his side. Speaking to him. Looking at him like he interested her—more than as just a customer in her restaurant.

Even the thought of that was shocking. But what could he do to stop it? So far, he’d tried staying away from her.

Even tried to concentrate on her unsuitability. But nothing worked.

The only blessing was that she obviously didn’t think of him at all.

He couldn’t help but remember how terribly surprised she looked when he’d checked on her in the car that morning. She’d never even noticed his shop before. To her, he was just another man eating at the inn. An Amish man.

She probably had a fair amount of men eyeing her, wishing that she’d smile their way.

It embarrassed him that, at the moment, he yearned for a smile, too.

Caleb had just finished sweeping out the back storeroom when his father called out to him.

“Caleb, I need you to walk Mrs. Miller’s groceries to her at the boarding house.”

After replacing his broom and dustpan, Caleb entered the main store. It was one o’clock, and the place was busier than ever. Two women, friends of his mother’s, were buying trail bologna and cheese. Another Amish lady was in the bulk food aisle, examining seasonings.

Everywhere else he looked, there seemed to be tourists and
Englischers
talking noisily and filling shopping baskets. His
daed
had left the double front doors propped open. In blew a cool breeze, along with the unmistakable scent of autumn leaves. Caleb nodded to a few curious people, then stood in front of his father. “Busy today.”

“Jah. Sehr gut,”
he agreed.

“Do you want me to wait to run the errand? Maybe you need help?”

“I don’t. Joshua’s here—he just went upstairs for a moment. This is more important, I think.” Pointing to a pair of boxes on the counter, he said, “Mrs. Miller already paid for both of these. She’ll be looking for them. There’s eggs and fresh bread in there. Have a care with them, now.”

Before Caleb could say a word to that—that of course he wouldn’t crack the eggs or smash the bread—his father turned away to wait on a customer.

Without a word of thanks.

He did his best to shrug off disappointment. He knew better than to look for praise for something so minor. It wasn’t the Amish way to tell someone thanks for expected tasks.

Caleb picked up one of the boxes. It was heavier than it looked, which would mean he’d either have to take two trips down the street or use a wagon of some sort.

There was no choice. No way was he going to pull a red wagon down the street in Sugarcreek. His English friends would never let him live that down.

After readjusting his grip, he strode toward the front door.

“You forgot one,” his father called out.

“I’ll be back for it,” Caleb threw over his shoulder as he raced out the door—before his
daed
told him to pull out the wagon.

It was just after lunchtime and the streets had emptied a bit. Wednesdays were like that. Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays brought tourists and traffic jams; Sundays were almost empty. Monday was filled with busy workers—the day for many to get their business done at the bank, the printers and such. On Tuesdays, people came out for lunch but otherwise stayed away, doing whatever their busy lives needed them to do.

Caleb knew the town’s routine almost as well as he knew the schedule at his own home. He’d grown up with both. But now he was so sick of the sameness, and of the constant worry about doing what was right—what was expected. He could hardly stand it.

He was so lost in thought, he almost ran into a lady and her little girl. “Excuse me!” she blurted. “Watch where you are going. Understand?”

“Sorry,” he mumbled, then, unable to help himself, he glared at her back. She hadn’t needed to yell at him. His hearing was perfectly good. He was sick of people thinking he wasn’t smart—or couldn’t hear too well—because he was Amish.

Finally, after another block, he turned right, then walked up the steps to Mrs. Miller’s house. Luckily, she opened the door as soon as he reached the stoop. “You made it!”

“I did.”

“Here, let me get this from you.”

“
Nee
, Mrs. Miller. It’s a heavy box. I’ll bring it in.” After depositing it on the counter, he wiped his brow.

“All right. I’ll go get your other one.”

“I feel bad, making you do all this work.”

“It’s no trouble. I like getting out of the store.”

“Could you spare a few moments when you get back for a soda? I just bought some root beer.”

“I can.” He grinned. She knew he loved root beer. “I’ll be back in a jiffy.”

“Great. We’ll sit and have a soda and you can tell me what your plans are.”

That made him pause. “Plans?”

“You, Caleb Graber, have a look about you that’s new. I sure would like to know what has put that glint in your eyes.”

“I’ll be back soon.” But as he turned, he wondered if he could trust her. Or better yet, if he could count on her. He needed someone from the outside world on his side. The Allens had become too close to his parents to go against them. But maybe Mrs. Miller would. The Mennonite lady had something of a mysterious past, at least to Caleb’s way of thinking.

Rumor had it that she’d been engaged once, but the man had jumped the fence and taken off with an English woman. After that, she married but it hadn’t lasted long. Her husband passed away after only a few years of marriage.

Now Mrs. Miller seemed content to straddle two worlds with ease. She was everything proper on the outside, but she also had a great understanding of how it felt to not fit in.

Caleb had even heard it whispered that she’d helped a pair of brothers leave their order, against their parents’ wishes.

As he walked back to the store, Caleb wondered just how much he dared to open up.

“You could have taken the wagon and been done in half the time,” his father said when he strode through the shop’s doors again.

Caleb said nothing, just picked up the box and left again. Only retorts and sarcasm were on his tongue. And if he’d said either, it would have been a foolhardy decision.

Luckily the second box was a little lighter and shorter, therefore easier to see around. He made it back to Mrs. Miller’s in no time at all.

After she put her eggs away, she brought two mugs of root beer to the kitchen table. “Have a seat, Caleb. Are you hungry?”

“I’m fine,” he murmured as soon as he took a long sip of root beer. “I need to get back to work soon.”

“And how are things at the store?”

“The same.” It took all the effort he had not to grimace. She searched his face. “Nothing new?”

He had a choice. He could either lie…or come clean.

“I’ve been thinking about leaving,” he blurted out.

Then he waited. Waited for her to ask why he wanted to leave. Tension filled him as he struggled for the words to describe the deep need he had to leave everything. The store. Sugarcreek.

Being Amish.

But instead of asking anything of the sort, she merely sipped her soda. “I see,” she said after staring at him for what felt like forever. “Well, if you’re thinking of leaving…I suppose we ought to talk about where you want to go.”

In a flash, all the anxious, dark thoughts that Caleb had been doing his best to keep under wraps came flooding out. “You don’t think I’m terrible, to be thinking such things?” he prodded.

“It’s not my place to judge you.”

Again, the rumors of her past swirled between them. Had she been judged before? Had she been found lacking? He was dying to ask her, but didn’t want to offend.

Or, perhaps, she was only pretending to be on his side? Suspicion rose inside him like bile. “Are you going to tell my folks now?”

“Tell them what, Caleb?” Reaching out, she squeezed his arm. “So far, all you’ve done is brought me my groceries and shared a cold drink with me.” She stood up then.

“One day soon, stop by again. When you trust me.”

Her statement made him flush. “It’s just…I’m not sure what I want to do.”

“Perhaps you don’t have to know yet,” she said gently. As the silence between them lengthened, she gestured to his half-drunk bottle. “Why don’t you finish up your drink? That’s enough for now, yes?”

Without a word, he slurped the rest of his drink, then left with only a terse goodbye. As he walked back to the store, with his head down, his thoughts jumbled together.

So jumbled, he almost missed sight of two of his English friends standing on the corner. Watching him.

Jeremy raised a hand. “Caleb. You busy tonight?” They meant later. When it was dark. When they’d go out drinking and driving. When they were free from too many watchful eyes. “No,” he called back.

The boys grinned. “Good. We’ll see you later.”

Caleb grinned, too. No, he didn’t know what he was going to do in the future. But maybe he didn’t have to. All that mattered was that he had plans for later.

That was enough to get him through the rest of the day.

Miriam peeked into the back workroom, where Lilly liked to sometimes take her break. “He’s back,” she chirped.

Lilly put her novel down. “Who?”

“Robert Miller, that’s who. I just seated him near the windows.” She winked. “He asked if you were here.”

Lilly folded a page down to mark her spot and stood up. “Do I look okay?”

Never one to shy away, Miriam looked her over with a critical eye. “Perhaps you need to tame your hair a bit?”

“I’ll do that.”

She grinned. “Then I’ll deliver Robert his coffee…and the news that you will be right there.”

After stuffing the book in her backpack, Lilly ran to the bathroom and turned on the light. Looking at her reflection, she winced. As usual, her blond curls looked like she’d stuck her finger in a light socket. She pushed the worst of the wayward curls from her face, washed her hands, then ran out the door.

Afraid to question why she was so excited to see him, she walked quickly through the kitchen and right out to the dining room. She paused when she caught Robert’s eye. He’d been watching the kitchen door. Watching for her. “Hey,” she said as she pulled out the chair across from him and sat. “You taking a coffee break?”

“Actually, I wanted to see you. I was worried…are you still upset?”

Lilly wondered if she’d ever get used to Robert’s forthright ways. Though sometimes it felt like he was shy around her, when he did say something, it was exactly what was on his mind. “No.” She shook her head. “I was being silly.”

“Are you sure?”

She didn’t blame him for being skeptical. After all, she’d had to pull over into his parking lot to cry! “Really. You know how it goes…sometimes things seem worse than they are. Once I settled down, I realized I shouldn’t have been so upset.”

Blue eyes examined her again. She felt his gaze as clearly as if he’d been running his fingers along her skin. “Well. I’m glad of it, then.”

An awkward silence percolated between them. Yes, they’d talked…but rarely had she ever sat with him for any length of time. “Well…I guess I better get back to work.”

“Is that what you were doing when I came here? Working?”

“Actually, no. I was taking my break. I was in a back-room, reading.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m a fan of western romances.”

But instead of looking horrified, the corners of his lips lifted. “Do you have time to tell me about your book? Are you still on break?”

She looked at her watch. “I have time.” She wrinkled her nose. “Are you sure you want to hear about it?”

“Mighty sure,” he murmured.

A flash of warmth settled in her as she began to talk all about the book. And as Robert Miller gazed at her like she was the most interesting person in the whole world.

The following Tuesday, her work shift ended much too soon. With leaden feet, Lilly walked to her car. She wished she had somewhere else to go, but at the moment, the only place she really knew to drive to was home.

What a day it had been. First her mom had been chirping all about her pregnancy. Again. Then the restaurant had gotten incredibly busy and she’d hardly had time to clear tables before more customers were seated.

Now she was running on fumes. Barely holding on. When would her life ever settle down and get back to normal? Of course, what was normal?

After pulling out onto Main Street, Lilly noticed the slow changes that were taking place around Sugarcreek. Some gift shops had fall flags out and other festive displays. Around them, mums were in bloom. A beautiful display of black-eyed Susans waved in the distance. And one or two elm trees had already begun to switch colors. The air was cooler…soon corn mazes would be advertised and pumpkin patches would be filled with children searching for their perfect jack-o’-lantern.

No matter what happened, it seemed as if the seasons really did move on. She was just thinking about that when she noticed Miller’s Carpentry and Robert’s buggy parked to the side.

Whether it was because she was willing to do anything to delay going home…or because she’d felt drawn toward Robert since the day she’d met him, or because she’d enjoyed their last conversation so much…Lilly made a sudden decision and pulled into his lot.

Maybe it wouldn’t be too awkward if she simply went in and thanked him for his concern the week before? After all, it had been really nice of him to visit the restaurant just to see how she was doing.

That would be the Christian thing to do. Right?

The light was dim and the air smelled like oil and sawdust when she opened the door. She found him easily enough. He was sitting hunched over a desk, glaring at a stack of papers.

His head popped up when she opened the door. The stunned look on his face when their eyes met was almost comical.

“Hi,” she said. “I hope I’m not bothering you?”

“
Nee
. I mean…no.” His chair scraped the floor when he stood up. “Did you need something?”

Since he looked glued to the ground, she walked forward. “Maybe.”

That seemed to set him in motion. Clumsily, he walked around the desk. Cleared his throat. “Very well. Um, what may I show you?” He pointed behind him to a beautiful chest of drawers made out of oak and stained a rich walnut. “A bureau? Or maybe a rocking chair.”

“It’s all beautiful, but I didn’t come here for furniture.” A line appeared between his brows. “No?”

He looked so flustered, she almost smiled. Almost. “I just wanted to stop by to thank you.”

“For what?”

“For what you did last week, of course. Not only did you not mind that I pulled in here and cried, but you even came by the restaurant.” Because he was still looking at her so intently, she stumbled over her next words. Panic was setting in. Maybe stopping by had been the completely wrong thing to do? “I mean, I’m glad you stopped by and we talked.”