Seasons of Sugarcreek 03. Autumn's Promise (10 page)

“Uh-huh.”

“Was it easy?”

“No.”

Obviously he, too, could be blunt. “I see.”

He grinned as they stopped next to the hedge that separated their lots. “It’s the truth. Being Amish ain’t easy, Lilly.”

“I guess that’s where we are, then, huh? We both want to do impossible things.”

Surprising her, he shook his head. “They’re not impossible. God doesn’t hand us impossible tasks. Just hard ones. And scary.” With a faint wave, he walked through the hedge.

Back to his life.

As Lilly slowly started up her own driveway, she thought about his words. Caleb was exactly right. Just because the Lord handed her opportunities and choices, it didn’t automatically mean that things were going to get easier. All it seemed to do was make her confused.

Robert knew he shouldn’t have kissed Lilly Allen in the corn maze. More to the point, he certainly shouldn’t be still thinking about it.

After all, what they had done was wrong.
Wrong
. They weren’t married. They weren’t even courting.

They never could.

A future between the two of them was not a possibility. How could it be? Lilly was English. He was not. She was young—only nineteen years old. So why was Lilly the first person he thought of when he woke up every morning? How come her image couldn’t ever seem to be erased from his mind?

How was it that no matter how hard he berated himself…he still wanted to see her? Be with her?

As Robert sat in the relative privacy of his buggy and continued to stare at the outside of the Sugarcreek Inn—again—he called himself ten times the fool. A smarter man would direct his horse right out of the parking lot and back to his store.

Instead, he slowly edged out of the black conveyance and planted his feet on the ground. Glanced at the row of cars near the restaurant’s door. And looked at her car for what had to be the twentieth time.

Lilly was inside. Working. So he would, indeed, have a chance to talk with her. He nodded, as if nodding could convincingly erase her from his head.

But as sure as the vivid fall foliage would eventually fade to a dreary winter gray, Robert knew he couldn’t pre-vent himself from walking forward. With a strong sense of inevitability, he started walking toward the door.

He’d almost reached the sidewalk that lined the front when a voice called out to him. “Robert, hello.”

As patient as he could, he smiled weakly at Edith, Grace’s grandmother. “Nice to see you, Edith.”

“
Ach
. You used to call me
Grossmammi
, Robert.”

He had—but after a time, it had felt too strange. After all, she’d been Grace’s grandmother, not his. And Grace, of course, was gone. But instead of bringing any of that up, he stood politely as she carefully walked toward him down the sidewalk. “How are you?”

“I am as good as I can be, I suppose.” Tapping her cane on the cement near her feet, she added, “If my gout would give me a rest, I would be a mite better.”

He nodded his head politely. “I hope you feel better soon,
Grossmammi
.”

She smiled. “You are a dear boy. What are you up to today? Taking some time off work?”

“Just for a short while. I thought I’d get a sandwich inside. Maybe a piece of pie.”

Not fooled for a minute, she narrowed her eyes through her wire-rimmed spectacles. “Yes. I had heard you’ve been spending quite a bit of time at this particular spot, eating pie.”

To his embarrassment, his cheeks heated. “I didn’t realize I was the fodder for gossip.”

“Oh, I think you did. It seems everyone has something to say about you driving that girl around in your buggy.”

“Even you?”

Robert held himself still as her eyebrows snapped together and she inhaled sharply.

As long as he’d known her, Grace’s grandmother had never been shy about handing out pointed barbs. He most likely deserved a lashing from her tongue, anyway. He had been cheeky, egging on the older woman.

But instead of scolding, she only looked him up and down. “Perhaps it’s time to be honest with yourself.”

“About…”

“About that girl in there, of course,” she retorted.

“Robert, if you like her, you might as well be bold about it, don’tcha think? People will talk no matter.” Patting his arm, her voice became gentler. “There’s no shame in moving on, son. Take it from me—we must all do it sometime or another.
Du Herr sie mit due
, Robert,” she added before tottering away.

Before he had a chance to reply that he wished the Lord to be with her as well.

Stunned by her words, he stood motionless as he watched Grace’s grandmother disappear into the quilt-and-craft shop.

Another buggy’s arrival to the parking lot spurred Robert into motion. The last thing he needed was to have yet another conversation on the sidewalk about Lilly.

Pushing the rest of his doubts away, he opened the door to the restaurant and stepped inside.

As always, the welcoming scent of yeast rolls, roast chicken, and coffee greeted him.

As did Lilly. “Robert! Hi!” Lilly said with a smile. “I didn’t expect to see you in today. It’s Monday.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“You’ve never been here on a Monday before. Usually, you stop by on Tuesdays for the Swiss Steak.”

He hadn’t been able to stay away until Tuesday.

But that, of course, couldn’t be said. “I do like Swiss Steak. But I had a hunger for something else today,” he murmured as he followed her to a table.

Wearing a pair of jeans, boots, and a burnt orange sweater, Robert thought she looked as pretty as ever.

“A different sort of hunger, hmm?” Her eyes sparkled.

“I’m almost afraid to ask what you want.”

As well she should!

When they were standing by his table, she leaned forward. Just a slight bit. “So…do you know what you want?”

He knew. Of course, he also knew that everything he was thinking couldn’t be said out loud. “I’ll need to see the menu.”

She looked at her empty hands in surprise. “I can’t believe I forgot to grab one. I’ll be right back.”

When she turned and walked back to the hostess station, Robert sat down and watched her. She looked flustered—exactly the way he was feeling.

He needed to settle things about their relationship in his mind. No way could he continue to simply happen to “drop” by her restaurant. Something needed to be said.

She returned with a menu. “Here,” she said, practically slapping it on the table. “I mean, why don’t you take a look at the menu?”

He almost smiled. “All right.” Oh, but she was so different than he. So young and impulsive.

They were different in the way that winter was different than summer. Or the way rain differed from snow.

But there was something holding them together, too. He’d known it since the first time he saw her. Had been certain of it since he’d held her in his arms. They were not destined to simply be friends.

She nibbled her bottom lip. “Would you like some coffee?”

“That would be good. And a slice of apple pie. And…do you have time to sit with me for a moment or two?”

“I’d like to.” She turned toward the kitchen. “I’ll go see if I can take my break a little early.”

When she moved away, Robert closed his eyes in frustration. He didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t know how he was supposed to act. All he did know was that he wanted to see her. Wanted to be with her, and he was willing to become a target of gossip in order to achieve his goals.

Less than five minutes later, Lilly approached, holding two slices of pie, two mugs of hot coffee, and a sheepish expression on her face. “Mrs. Kent said sitting with you was no problem, since there’s no one else in here right now. I don’t even have to use this as my break.”

“I’m glad.”

After placing the plates and mugs on the table, she perched in the chair across from him. “Me too.”

The warm cup felt good in between his hands. And sipping the brew gave his mouth something to do, because he was all tongue-tied. But he had to say something. “How’s the cat?”

“Midnight? She’s good. Of course, she’s a handful, too. Every time I turn around, she’s gotten into something. Last night she was on the kitchen counter, happily shredding one of my mother’s kitchen towels.”

“Perhaps you should have named her Mischief.”

She chuckled, brightening his spirits. “Maybe so. Or perhaps Lucky. At least once a day, my mother threatens to toss Midnight out the door. But then her little pink paws and green eyes take over, and she gets scooped up and cuddled again.”

“She’s a right beauty of a cat.”

“And so full of fun. Just last night she was playing with my dad’s newspaper when he was reading it. He was trying to act like he minded, but I know he didn’t.”

Lilly paused. “Things have been a little awkward at home, my mom being pregnant and all. She and I are doing okay…but it’s still nice to have something easy to talk about.”

“
Jah
. I mean, I imagine so,” he muttered. Oh, but it was sometimes so hard to concentrate on just her words. While she talked, Lilly punctuated almost every word with her hands. Robert couldn’t help but watch her slim fingers wave through the air, capturing his attention and imagination, too. They were small. Soft-looking. He wondered what they’d feel like, clasped securely between his own again.

She stilled. “Robert?”

Belatedly, he realized he’d been staring at her hands. “Oh, I’m sorry. Um…perhaps I could stop by one day soon and see the kitten?”

Her eyes widened. “Sure,” she said slowly. “I mean of course. That…that would be great.”

“I don’t have to, if that would make you uncomfortable.”

“That’s not it at all.” She looked right and left, then finally leaned forward a bit. “Robert, can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Is there…I mean…do you feel that there’s something between us?”

As he struggled to answer, he found himself scanning her face. Noticing everything about her. The wayward curl caressing her cheek. Her softly parted lips. The fine lines of her neck. And the way her sweater’s color made her cheeks seem brighter.

When she’d leaned forward, the edge of her sweater dipped a bit, revealing a few more inches of skin.

Robert looked away. Then felt completely embarrassed. It was only her shoulder. Why was he acting so spun up?

Because he knew how he was going to have to answer her. With the truth.

“For me, there is.”

Her lips pursed, then relaxed. “I’m so glad you said that.”

“So you feel the same way?” Too much was at stake for him to continue to talk in vague generalities. He knew he couldn’t go back once he went forward.

“Oh, yes.” A wrinkle formed between her eyes. “But what do you think that means?”

Robert pushed his plate away, then just as firmly, weaved his fingers together. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to give in to temptation and reach out for her hand. Just to feel her skin. No, more than that. He wanted to kiss her. Right there in the middle of the Sugarcreek Inn.

“I’m not sure what it means,” he finally said. “Though, I will tell you that it’s taken me by surprise.”

“Is this—what we’re doing—even allowed?”

“In truth, we’re not doing anything but eating pie.” As Lilly looked at their untouched plates and grinned, Robert found himself chuckling. No, they weren’t fooling anyone.

Not even themselves. “All right. How about…we’re not doing anything other than sharing coffee together?”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” She curved her fingers around the mug again, drawing his eyes back to her hands.

“So, may I stop by your home?”

“Of course.” Brown eyes met his. “Tonight?”

“Yes. Perhaps seven or so?”

“I’ll look forward to it. Would you like to join us for dinner?”

“No.” He was not ready to share a meal with her parents.

“That’s probably just as well. There’s no telling what my parents would ask you.”

Her worries amused him. He had his reservations about whether the two of them could ever overcome their differences. But it had been a long time since he’d worried about what a woman’s parents thought of him.

The front door chimed as a group of six ladies in jeans and tennis shoes entered. Lilly scooted back her chair and stood up. “I better go tend to them.”

“Yes. I should go back to work, too.”

“So…do you know where I live?”

“I do. You’re next to the Grabers’. I’ll see you around seven.”

She smiled again, then approached the women and pulled out a stack of menus. As they walked toward the back, to the window where the girls in the back kitchen were visible, Robert fished out a few dollars and set them on the table. By now he knew exactly how much a piece of pie and a cup of coffee were.

He left the usual amount. As he walked back out to the sidewalk, he realized that he probably should have taken that slice of pie for later.

Surely sometime that day, he’d feel like eating again.

“I’ve got someone coming over tonight after dinner,” Lilly told her mother as she opened a bag of chopped lettuce and poured it into a glass salad bowl.

Still stirring the pot of spaghetti sauce, her mom looked her way. “Who?”

“Robert Miller. He’s the man I went to the farmer’s market with.”

“I remember. He’s the man who bought you Midnight.”

“Yes.” Unscrewing the bottle of ranch dressing, Lilly paused, waiting for the inevitable.

As Midnight scrambled around their feet, playing with one of Ty’s rubber balls, her mother groaned. “Perhaps he’ll take this kitten back. She’s the bane of my existence.”

“Oh, Mom. You love her.”

“I suppose I do.” Her mom turned from the stove top.

“So, I know you two are friends. Is that still all you are?”

“Maybe. Though, I think we might be sliding toward something closer.”

“Lilly, what are you going to do if you and this man do decide you want more than friendship?”

“I don’t know.” Lilly turned away, on the off chance that her mom would be able to see the confusion written all over her face. And her dismay. Only a few hours ago, Lilly had asked the same exact question to Robert.

But her mother didn’t even look up from the pot of spaghetti noodles she was boiling. “Well, I mean, you either have to stay just friends with him or convince him to leave his order. Right?”

There was one other option…“I’m not sure.”

“Aren’t you? Even I know that Robert can’t risk rining his reputation by continually calling on you. Something has to happen.”

“Mom, stop. You’re jumping to conclusions.”

“I’m just being realistic. You might want to start thinking ahead, too.”

“Everything’s fine. Stop worrying so much.”

“I can’t help but worry. Last year was so hard. I just don’t want you to get hurt again.”

The past year had been difficult. Everything in her life had changed because of one impulsive night with Alec. Ever since, she’d been struggling to keep her head above water.

Now, things were finally starting to feel right. She had no desire to keep discussing past decisions. “Mom, all I said was that Robert was stopping by.”

Her mother drew in a breath, obviously ready to spout off a slew of opinions. But instead of criticizing, she simply murmured, “Well, I’ll look forward to getting to know him. Since, you know, he might be around for a while.”

“Don’t say anything weird to him.”

“I won’t. Call your brother and dad, dear. We better eat so everything will be cleaned up by the time Robert comes over. What’s his last name again?”

“Miller. His name is Robert Miller. And, he’s a widower. His first wife, Grace, died of cancer.”

Her mother paused. “So he’s had his share of obstacles, too.”

“Yes. Yes, he has.”

“Lilly?”

Lilly paused. “Yes?”

“Honey, if this Robert Miller has caught your eye after everything you’ve been through, he must be a very special man.”

“I think so.”

“You’re a wonderful girl, Lilly. And maybe it doesn’t really matter if he’s Amish or not. And though a year ago I never would have imagined saying this, I don’t think the Amish are much different from us. I know I’ve really enjoyed getting to know Elsa.”

Just thirty minutes later, Robert was in the house.

It felt strange to see him in the family room. Robert’s steady presence seemed to take up a lot of space. And the stiff way he stood, hat in hand, made her realize that he, too, was feeling the awkwardness of the situation.

Standing by his side, Lilly smiled at him encouragingly as her parents asked him too many questions.

When he’d first arrived, Ty had bounded in, Midnight in his arms. Robert’s expression had gentled as he’d carefully rubbed the kitten’s neck. Then Ty left to go watch TV and her parents had begun their questions in earnest.

Lilly wasn’t sure when her dad had been informed about Robert’s visit, or about her intentions to keep seeing him, but like her mom, he was on good behavior.

Except that neither of them was content to leave them alone.

“You can make a living building furniture, Robert?”

“I don’t just build furniture. Sometimes people hire me to make custom cabinets for their kitchen. Or to make a mantel for their fireplace.”

“I didn’t know there was a market for such things.”

“It’s not cheap. But the work is good,” Robert said modestly.

“It is beautiful,” Lilly said. “I’ve visited the shop and seen everything for myself.”

“I’ll have to stop by,” her dad murmured. “Soon.”

Her mother gestured to the pair of couches. “I feel funny, standing in the living room like this. Why don’t we all sit down? I could get us some coffee.”

Robert’s eyes widened. Lilly took it on herself to save him. “Actually, we’re going to go sit on the front porch.”

Her father scoffed. “Lilly, it’s forty degrees out there.”

“I’ll be fine. Robert, will you?”

He fingered his jacket. “Forty degrees isn’t so cold.” Lilly pulled him out of the living room and guided him toward the front door.

“Lilly, Robert? Would you two like some hot chocolate?” her mother asked.

“That would be nice,” he said, smiling her mother’s way. “I know Lilly enjoys hot chocolate very much.”

Just as they closed the door behind them, Lilly heard her father say, “How in the world does that guy know that?”

When they were finally alone, Lilly stood by Robert’s side in the fading light. Few stars were out; clouds had descended on the area. Sleet and rain were expected overnight.

After a long moment, Robert grinned. “I have to say, I’ve never been so thankful for a front porch.”

Lilly bypassed the two wicker chairs and sat on the stoop. Robert sat next to her. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I never imagined that my parents would trap you in our family room like that.”

“Asking questions is no problem. I had the answers, you know.”

“You did, didn’t you? I’m sorry. Sometimes I forget just how mature you are. I bet nothing gets you very rattled.”

“Some things rattle me,” he said softly, his eyes searching hers. “But you’re right. Not much does make me uncomfortable. Is that a bad thing?”

“No. It’s a very good thing. See, sometimes I forget that you don’t need me standing by your side, trying to help you out.”

“I liked it. You reminded me of a guard dog barking loud enough to scare off anyone who dared to disagree with you.”

“I felt that way, I guess,” Lilly said, chuckling. “I didn’t want them to scare you away.”

“It would take more than inquisitive parents to do that.”

“I’m thankful for that.” Looking for something to say, she gazed at the front yard, at the hedge that separated her family’s property with the Grabers’. “Tell me about church. I saw all the buggies over there on Sunday.”

“Church is church.”

“Come on, Robert. What is it like?”

“It’s a time for worship. But it’s more than that, too. It’s a time to visit and relax. We always share a meal together.”

“And that’s all?”

“More or less. It’s a good time to catch up on news. You know how people like to talk.”

“Did…did you hear any questions about us?”

“No. But…there really is no
us
, is there?”

Lilly wasn’t sure how to answer that. But she ventured forward. “Maybe there is. That kiss—”

The door opened, startling them and stalling whatever response Robert had been about to make. To their surprise, it was Ty who came out, gingerly carrying mugs of hot chocolate in his hands. “Mom sent me out with these.”

Lilly scrambled up to take them from him. “Tell her thank you.”

Without replying, Ty trotted back in. There were mountains of whipped cream on each mug. Robert looked at the concoction and grinned. “Is this for my benefit, or yours?”

“Mine.”

“I like your sweet tooth.”

“Robert—”

He interrupted her. “I don’t know what to say about that kiss except that I enjoyed it.”

“Do you regret it?”

“I should.”

“Oh.” She felt like he was fishing for responses from her, but she wasn’t sure whether she should grab hold of his line or keep her feelings in the shadows.

“But I don’t.”

“I don’t, either.” Lilly looked at him in wonder. What had they just admitted? Only that they shared a very personal attraction?

He sipped his drink. “However, I don’t suppose we should kiss each other again. That is, anytime soon.”

“No. Probably not.”

Robert set his mug on the step next to him. Turned to her. Treated her to an incredibly slow, terribly attractive smile. “I want you to know…Fact is, you make me happy, Lilly. Today, right now, that’s good enough for me. I haven’t been all that happy over the last few years.”

“I know what you mean.”

“So, if you’re in agreement, perhaps we could spend more time together.”

“And not kiss.”

He shook his head, like he couldn’t believe her gall. Then, he laughed. “This is why I can’t stay away from you, Lilly Allen. You make me laugh.”

As the sky darkened, she relaxed beside Robert. “Would you like to hear about the crazy customer I waited on this afternoon?”

Reaching out, he grasped her hand. “Of course,” he murmured.

Taking the lead, she did her best to entertain him, taking special care to exaggerate the woman’s mannerisms just enough to make him grin.

One story led to another. And another…as the sky grew dark and their laughter echoed across the wide, open spaces. Their hands melding together. Perfectly matched. Everything was going to be okay.

Nothing about the future needed to be decided. And for right now, for this week, that was more than enough.

Never again would she take happiness for granted.