Second Chance with Love (13 page)

"Okay, sweetie, we won't be long. When we get home, I'll make you lunch." Hilda squatted and tidied Aaron's hair.

The thought of their time together ending shot through Nathan's chest. But he had expected this, and in his usual fashion he had prepared for it. "Let's say we all have a picnic?" Nathan looked at Aaron and Hilda. While Aaron's face lit up, Hilda's eyes inspected Nathan, her shoulders tensed.

"We don't want to put out of your way, Nathan."

"It's nothing. I prepared a picnic already." Nathan watched as Hilda's shoulder slacked and she let a short exhale. Nathan wondered if he had made a bad decision. Had this been one of the traits about him that made her hesitant about accepting him into her new life?

"Yeah! Mommy, can we have a picnic?" Aaron jumped up and down.

Hilda looked back and forth between Aaron and Nathan. "Okay." She kissed Aaron's cheek.

Aaron ran to Nathan, and Nathan embraced Aaron in a hug, ruffling his hair. It was his first time holding Aaron. Nathan felt his lips quiver. He closed his eyes and tilted his head over Aaron's shoulder.

Nathan raised his head to see Hilda looking at them. Her lips were flattened, and she gave him a single nod. Nathan was unsure what it meant. Was she frustrated that he had overstepped his boundaries? Boundaries that were not really discussed. Or had she been suppressing something she wanted to say? Nathan didn't know. He only knew that he had a little more time to get to know Aaron and Hilda.

Nathan went to his car and opened the trunk where he kept a large blanket, and a mini cooler filled with a variety of drinks. He had not heard Hilda's approach.

"Let me help." She grabbed the plastic cups and boxes with sandwiches.

Hilda was at Nathan's side. He struggled to focus on gathering as many items as he could. But from his peripherals, he saw her. His hands that remembered what an amazing experience it was to hold her, almost dropped everything and pulled her to him. Nathan looked at Hilda, and she turned to him and he held her gaze.

"I want to help." Aaron moved between them excitedly, breaking the spell of what might have or might not have happened.

Nathan was slightly shaken.

"Come on. There is a nice area by the tree." Hilda led the way in quick strides. Aaron, running, overtook her, and Nathan followed behind. There was a shaded spot under a tree. Holding the corners of the blanket, they spread it across the grass. After they set out the food and beverages, Nathan said he'd be back. He went to his car and sat in the front.

"Okay, God. I still have feelings for her. I think seeing her mature into such a beautiful woman, I won't deny that it's hard. Give me strength to control my desires and not sin."

As Nathan returned to the area where Hilda and Aaron sat, Hilda looked at him. She smiled. Nathan was taken aback. It was a warm smile. He saw that her coldness toward him was beginning to thaw.

"Aaron loves the sandwiches."

"You like them?" Nathan looked at Aaron who nodded with his cheeks bulging. "I think I've made a good impression"

Nathan sat down, and his eyes caught Hilda's fleetingly before she looked away. Still, a feeling of warmth seemed to settle in his chest. He remember Hilda in her younger years, though she had been aware of her beauty, as he showed her off to everyone, he always fought the nagging sense that she was not truly happy about being regarded by others solely for her beauty.

Laying on the blanket, Nathan saw the lengths she had gone to hide herself from people. She never wore makeup, yet he was more drawn to her than ever. Her clothes were simple, but Nathan felt he was seeing a part of who Hilda truly was inside.

After they ate, Aaron had moved closer to Nathan. "Wanna play catch?"

"Sure!" Aaron jumped at Nathan's offer. Hilda rested against the tree.

"How about you join us?" Nathan got up, picking up the ball, and he smiled at Hilda.

"I'll just watch you guys. I'm feeling lazy today." Hilda caressed Aaron's hair as she hugged him.

Nathan threw the ball to Aaron and their game began as Hilda looked on. Nathan wondered at the joy he felt. Aaron and Hilda were a family, and he desperately wanted to know if he had place among them.

When it was time to leave, Aaron hugged Nathan, again transferring the feeling of belonging Nathan had never really felt in his life.

"Thanks." Nathan extended a hand to Hilda, which she took. After they parted ways, Nathan felt the handshake disguised any affection they had. It felt too unnatural.

Chapter 17

"Go inside, Mommy has to speak with Grannie for a minute.” As Aaron hugged Hilda's mother, Hilda's heart sunk into her stomach at what she was about to say. Watching Aaron run into the house, Hilda spun around to her mother.

"Enough mother." Hilda pursed her lips and tightened her jaw. Although, adrenaline course through her, she was still hoping that she did have to go through with this.

"Sorry?" She raised an eyebrow and cocked her head at Hilda. "Do you have something to say, Hilda?"

"No more battering me down over the past, I won't, I can't stand it any longer. You are intolerable and I will not stand for it anymore."

"How dare you?" Her mother's lips curled back to expose her teeth, her eyes widened and she shook. "Have you forgotten who you're speaking to? All I've done for you and all I've put up with?"

"No, I haven't forgotten. You've reminded me with every breathe you've taken, every chance you had. And you do it in front of Aaron."

Hilda felt charged to the point where she could have erupted from the surge of emotions that raged through her. She hand never argued with her mother. Years of pent-up anger boiled over.

"Oh, so if you don't want me around Aaron anymore, just say so. I'll be happy to. I will not play blind while you go down the wrong path."

"My choice. Not yours." The abrupt response caused Hilda's mother's eye to twitch.

"If that's what you want. Then so be it." Then she spun away from Hilda and marched off. Hilda stood, shaking and she felt as if a beehive were in her stomach. Hilda stood gasping air with her lips slightly parted, watching her mother leave. The emotion Hilda felt was overwhelming. She felt if she didn't call her mother back, the terrible feeling in her stomach would cause her to fold over and vomit.

But she didn't, instead she walked back into her apartment, closing the door behind her. Inside was silent, but not peaceful, everything was in order, except the tornado of emotions that spun her thoughts to create uncertainty. She felt that her mother had gone too far, but she always felt it she had been too harsh with her mother. Having never argued with her mother, perhaps it seemed as if Hilda's anger had come from nowhere.

Aaron's feet stomped down the stairs, disrupting the tortuous silence that enveloped the apartment.

"Mommy can we go to the park again?" Aaron skipped excitedly.

Hilda smiled. It took effort, but she knew she could not allow Aaron to pick up on her mood. "Okay, but first, you have to get changed."

"Yay, will Nathan be there? I want another picnic." Aaron's eyes shined and he gave Hilda a beaming smile.

"I don't think so." Nathan's was the last person who Hilda wanted to see; she just wanted it to be her and Aaron, and not other people who wanted to interfere with the peaceful life they shared. "I'll tell you what, if you wear your jacket I'll fix us up a few snacks we can take. Now go remove your church clothes and I'll be up to help you change."

"I can do it, Mommie." Aaron was halfway to his room when the doorbell rang.

The sound cracked through the silence and rattled Hilda to the core. Mother is back. Hilda knew what she had to do. Apologize and explain. She opened the door and her heart leapt.

"Nathan!" Aaron ran and hugged Nathan. It startled Hilda how sat Aaron had gone from his bedroom to the door. Then she realized, everything seemed to slow down.

Chapter 18

"We are having a picnic." Aaron was jubilant at seeing Nathan. "Do you want to come?"

"No, I'm afraid Nathan is not stopping by long." Hilda signaled to Nathan with her eyebrows.

"I'm afraid I can't join you. But maybe next time?" Nathan said to Aaron.

However, Aaron didn't return the expression, his face contorted with a furrowed brow. "Aww, why not?"

"Sweetie, go and get changed, I'll be over to help in a moment. I just have to have a word with Nathan for a second." Hilda did not take her eyes from Nathan.

"What are you doing here?" Aaron was out of earshot, yet Hilda still felt the need to whisper.

"Hey, you okay?" Nathan bent his head low to meet Hilda's eyes. The question had thrown her off.

"Why wouldn't I be?" The hurt in Hilda's chest and her argument with her mother had a rawness like an open wound. She stepped back into the apartment and Nathan followed. She had not meant to do this. But she needed to clasp something, anything for support. She struggled to push back the desperate need to sob from the sheer pain. She sat on a chair and Nathan stood in front of her.

"What's happened?"

Nathan took them to the nearest restaurant with a garden where Aaron could play. Though Hilda initially disapproved of his presence, she made no more mention of it. As Nathan parked the car, they shared a moment to exhale.

"Can I get a chocolate milkshake, Momma?" Aaron called from the back seat.

"Sure, thing darling." Hilda stepped outside and went around to let Aaron out of the car. "Out we come." Hilda undid Aaron's seat belt. and he climbed out.

As Nathan came around, Aaron stared up, "Momma, I want to be as tall as Nathan."

"Well, I'm sure you will be just as tall as him, Sweatheart." Hilda smiled.

"I think you're going to be way taller than me."

"Really?" Aaron looked stunned about this new piece of information.

Hilda felt the coming of a smile that she didn't expect, especially after her morning. Walking alongside Nathan and watching him as he spoke to Aaron, Hilda couldn't help but feel her heart melt at the sight of them. She never imagined he'd have a paternal side. It was always her belief that he would be fiercely militant towards his son if they ever chanced a meeting. Perhaps Nathan had changed, but did that mean he could just waltz back into Aaron's life and take charge?

"Then after we can play catch?" Aaron asked Nathan, who held his hand.

"What would you like to eat?" Hilda called to Aaron

"What would you like to eat?" Aaron said to Nathan.

Nathan took a moment to think, "How about a burger?"

"Momma, I want a burger." Aaron said.

Hilda, smiled and sighed. "I thought you don't like the burgers here?"

"No. I like them." Aaron pleaded.When they entered they sat at a table and waited to order. Aaron and Nathan faced Hilda. They had bonded faster that she imagined. Hilda saw that this could be a problem.

"Do they have chocolate milkshakes?"

"That's what you want this time, you never finish it. Let's see..." Hilda reached down for the menu just as Nathan did.

Their hands brushed one another.

Their eyes found each other. And together they broke their gaze.Hilda's cheek felt feverish with the blush that rose there.

Chapter 19

Hilda didn't want to acknowledge that the same feeling she had when she first met his eyes still existed within her now. His eyes could take her in and have her thinking about the old days after one glance. Hilda didn't want to be that person again.

"Hey, thanks for allowing this, it must be tough." Nathan said.

Hilda expected that Nathan never knew the half of it. She had put a lot of effort into forgetting him over the years, forgetting the scent of his cologne, which proved absolutely intoxicating for her, forgetting the habits she learned to keep their relationship hidden, which were the stealthy ways she would sneak out or leave groups without being noticed, watching her back constantly.

"I didn't expect you to show up as you did, today didn't feel like a good time."

His eyebrows raised in response. "Care to explain?"

"Mother." Hilda gave a terse smile.

"I think I get it."

They ate and Hilda underwent an inner war of conflicting emotions of displeasure and mirth, as she noticed how Aaron unconsciously imitated the way Nathan ate. He would take a bite as Nathan did, and when Nathan sat back, Aaron sat back. The new Nathan, catching her staring at them, smiled. His smile came across as genuinely sweet, with just a hint of the Nathan she remembered. And it was the old Nathan that caused the butterflies to flutter in her stomach.

"Can we go to the park now, Momma?" Nathan said.

"Yes we can." Hilda nodded to Aaron.

They got into Nathan's car and headed to the park.

The park looked vibrant with activity, families occupied the area, children played, dogs ran excitedly, and couples strolled languidly. Vendors were selling hotdogs and ice cream.

Aaron ran to the playground and took to the slides, leaving Nathan and Hilda alone. Many people gave warm smiles at the sight of Hilda, Nathan, and Aaron, as if they were a family. And Hilda knew no matter how much she tried to kept things as they were before Nathan returned, things had changed.