Second Down (Moving the Chains Book 2) (5 page)

The nurse twitters over me as she works furiously to tie my gown back up and help me off the floor. Phrases like “I’m so sorry...I thought you’d seen it already...I didn’t know...when Cathy was here…” float to my ears, but make no difference. Jackson marked me as his. Rob had watched him do it. And now, my body is no longer my own.

Papou stands in the middle of the floor as the nurse herds me back to bed. He says nothing while she tucks me in and rearranges all the lines, never ceasing her apologies.

Dumb words falling on deaf ears.

I turn my face away from the both of them. My grief washes away with the tears that continue their journey down my bruised face. Numbness seeps in.

The door clicks shut behind the nurse.

Papou speaks softly, with a tiredness in his voice that I haven’t heard since his heart attack. “Eva, do you want me to call your Mama...or Christina? Do you want Rob? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“There’s no one you can call to give me back what’s been taken away from me, Papou. Go home and get some sleep. I want to be alone.”

“You are never alone. God is always with you. Remember your faith and hold tight to it. Your body may be scarred, but your soul is eternal and made perfect in Christ. You have the choice over its corruption, huh? Do not let him win. You are stronger than this.”

I roll on my side, giving him my back while wincing at the pain that any movement causes. I’ve never wished to be invisible so much in my entire life.

Chapter 5

Impossible

Rob

Mom protests right up until I walk out the front door to Mike’s waiting car in the driveway. She absolutely does not think it’s a good idea that I go to school today. But when Mike called last night, offering a ride in, I jumped on that shit. I can’t spend another second at home, holed up in my room, replaying the events of Monday over and over in my head like some kind of highlight reel of the worst game I’ve ever played.

Last night had been absolute hell. I woke up no less than three times, screaming for Evie. Each time the nightmare rolled behind my eyes made it harder to go back to sleep. How many times can I watch her die in my dreams before I go certifiably insane? There has to be a definite number at which point I’ll reach critical mass and just never recover.

I need to get in the weight room this morning and burn off all this anxiety. No way in hell am I going back to the hospital today to see her. Mom and Diana and Cathy and Papou and Mike and whoever the fuck else can beg and plead all they want.

She actually passed out from the sight of me yesterday. For the life of me, which isn’t much at this point, I can’t understand why all of those people who supposedly love her so much would have done that to her. I warned them. And not a single one of them believed me.

Well, fuck that.

I open the back door of Mike’s car, expecting to see Chelsie in the passenger seat and Alex in the back. Instead, Alex is in the front and Tini peers at me from the back passenger seat. Christ, just what I need. Another pair of blue Papageorgiou eyes. I can’t even escape them when I’m awake.

I climb in, anyway. I’m in no shape to drive myself.

“Morning, Rob,” she offers meekly. The sound of her voice doesn’t fit her usual bubbly personality.

I look around at the faces in the car. Nothing seems right or normal anymore.

Alex sports the beginnings of a beard. He looks like he’s slept about as much as I have in the past few days. He doesn’t say anything, just continues staring straight ahead as Mike pulls out of my driveway.

I manage to successfully ignore everyone for the rest of the morning.

By the time I drag my sorry ass to lunch and go through the routine of getting a tray and heading towards our regular table, I’m so fucking exhausted that I can’t see straight. Mom might’ve been onto something when she pleaded with me not to come to school.

I’m prepared for people’s questions. Honestly, I am.

I’m not prepared for their pity. Every time I turn around, someone says how sorry they are about what happened to my girl. They use those words every time.

My girl
.

It’s a knife in the heart every time. All I can do is just stare back at them. I can’t even form any words. What I should be doing is telling them that she isn’t my girl.  Because she’s not...anymore. Even worse are the teachers. Their sympathetic stares and kind words hurt more than my knuckles.

I reach the table and do a double take to make sure I haven’t walked to Evie’s usual spot in my daze. Alex isn’t here yet, but in addition to Mike and Chelsie in their normal spots, Jess, Ashton, Chase, Alyssa, and Jeremy are all squeezed into the table too.

I’m not prepared for this, either. How am I supposed to forget about Evie with her circle of friends invading my space? I’m seriously contemplating just throwing my food away. I have no plans to eat it. I might even hide out in the locker room through Bio. I’m dreading that class, anyway.

Before I can reach a decision, Jess spots me.

She runs over, throws her arms around me, and nearly knocks the tray out of my hands. “Oh, good! You’re finally here! We just started working out our plans for a visiting schedule, and getting Evie her makeup work, and making her transition back to school easier.”

Her mouth moves a mile a minute. My foggy brain isn’t processing all that quickly as she drags me over to sit. Alex takes a seat beside me a few minutes later. We exchange baffled glances with each other.

Mike’s head is down. He chews and swallows his food methodically. He must not have told them anything. They don’t know I can’t be anywhere near Evie.

“So, is she out of the hospital yet?” Alyssa seems much calmer than Jess.

I honestly feel bad that her best friends have so little information about what’s going on with her, but I can’t help them. “I don’t know. She was still there this morning, according to my mom.”

“Can we go see her? Is she feeling okay enough for us all to go over after practice?” Jess bounces in her seat.

“I don’t know. Call her and find out, I guess.”

“We’ve tried. It just goes straight to voicemail. I don’t think she has her phone.” Alyssa’s gaze bores a hole through my face.

It occurs to me that Evie definitely doesn’t have her phone. She took it running with her on Monday. She specifically told me she couldn’t run without her music and asked me to text her when I was done with practice. I ran down the trail to surprise her instead.

Surprise.

Her phone is either still somewhere along the trail, or the police found it and collected it for evidence. Like my shirt.

“You playin’ on Friday?”  

When I look up at Jeremy, he shoots me the same worried look as Alyssa. They’re actually wearing matching expressions. Damn, they’ve been together forever.

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

Alyssa’s face softens. “Is there anything you do know?”

“Nope.” I stare at my tray and push the food around. Hopefully, their interrogation is over. Losing it in the middle of the cafeteria is really not high on my priority list.

Jeremy clears his throat. “You gotta eat something, man.”

The slop on my tray comes into focus. I don’t even know what the hell I picked up. I just grabbed whatever on autopilot. Evie hates the way I eat though. Says I eat like a pig. I don’t really feel like eating.

The rest of the conversation goes over my head as I check out for the next half hour. Alex nudges me a couple of times, letting me know that someone’s talking to me. I just stare back at them blankly. I don’t have the heart to tell them that I have no place in any of their plans.

The bell’s about to ring when Jess makes mention of Evie’s boyfriend. That snaps me out of my stupor pretty fucking quickly. I rush to explain the situation with her amnesia. If any of them tips her off about anything from that day, she might remember it all.

“We’re not together anymore. Leave me out of it, and don’t say a word to Evie.”

They look at me like I’ve gone insane. Which, to be fair, I probably have.

“But,” Jess starts to dispute.

“No.” My voice feels stronger than it has all day. “Not one fucking word, do you understand me? I
never
want her to remember that day.”

No one argues.

Ten minutes later, I walk into Bio. Her empty chair threatens to snap my last shred of sanity. She always beats me to class. Unless some filthy sophomore asks her to shake it because she’s wearing her hot game day outfit. Bile swims up my throat, sweat trickles down my back, and my fists clench automatically. Alex appears beside me and guides me to Evie’s chair. He takes the seat next to me without a word. Neither Mrs. Anderson nor anyone else in class, including his partner, mentions it.

Instead of listening to the lecture, I spend the next ninety minutes re-reading our notes to each other from Monday. I trace her fragile heart over and over until the paper wears thin.

At the end of the day, I’m beyond grateful to be at practice. Coach tries to tell me I shouldn’t be here. Tells me to go home, that I can miss this game. I don’t listen. I need to be on the field. Football is the only control I have left. I push myself as hard as I can, but it’s still not hard enough. It neither erases her memory nor dulls the pain.

Without Evie, nothing makes sense anymore.

Chapter 6

Lucky

Eva

              A knock on my bedroom door prompts me to leave the safety of my closet. Not even two seconds after I emerge, Alex pokes his head into my room.

              “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

              I scrunch my nose as he steps in, leaving the door open behind him. “Did you seriously just say that to me?”

              “Yeah. It was kinda lame, right? But I come bearing gifts, so you should overlook the opening line.” From behind his back he produces a grocery bag.

              “Whatcha got there?”

              He shrugs, the similarity to Rob punching a hole in my gut. “Just some snacks. Figured we could Netflix and chill since you refuse to leave your room.”

              Even though I know he means “Netflix and chill” at face value, a shudder still rolls through me. I cross my arms over my chest as I walk to my desk. Alex has been here every damn day since I was released from the hospital. If he’s not here, then Mike is. The only exception was last night for the football game. The game I wasn’t allowed to attend.

              Stupid concussion.

Even though I’m pissed about having to miss a game, all I want is to be alone in the safe space of my room, but they refuse to leave my side. It’s like they feel responsible for me since they helped rescue me. Their uncharacteristic behavior would be sweet if it weren’t so damn annoying.

Mike’s even been ignoring Chelsie in favor of being here. She texts him non-stop, but he just blows her off. It’s like I woke up from a coma in an alternate universe. Suddenly, I’m Mike’s number one priority, the gorgeous Alex Fossoway has abandoned his whoring in favor of watching movies with geeky me and Rob…well, Rob and I are back to being strangers.

              I haven’t seen Rob once though his mom and best friends have become regular fixtures in my house. No one so much as speaks his name in my presence. He may as well have vanished off the face of the earth. On the one hand, I’m grateful that I don’t have to face the only person who’s seen my secret. On the other…I miss his smell.

              It’s so bizarre, and I can’t explain it, but…I can’t escape this crazy feeling that if Rob were around, I wouldn’t feel like I’m going to be ambushed at any moment.

              Every day I suffer through
someone
telling me I need to talk about it; I need to deal with what happened. My mother has been pushing therapy at me like it’s going out of style. Tini suddenly wants to hang out with me and paint my nails like we did in middle school. Like dressing up the outside of me will erase what’s under my clothes. Mike says I should find a support group like we were in as kids.

              They just don’t understand I have nothing to talk about.

              How can I get over what I can’t remember? All I have are the barest brushes of memories that don’t even make any sense. The worst part is that I’m not sure whether I want to remember it. Every day that goes by is a simultaneous relief and disappointment that I have no idea what happened to me other than what I’ve been told.

              I have no control over my memories; I sure as hell get to be in charge of who I talk to about it and when.

              Alex, though. Alex is different. He never pushes. He doesn’t play mind games to try and trick me into talking. He’s just…here.

              I plop down onto my chair with a heavy sigh. “It’s Saturday night. Don’t you have a date or somewhere better to be?”

              “Nope.”

              That’s it. That’s all he gives me as he sprawls on my bed like he owns it. He pulls the snacks and drinks out of the bag and dumps them on the comforter, whistling some annoying tune the entire time.

              “Are you gonna pick out a movie on your laptop or make me do that too?” His piercing blue eyes sparkle with mischief as he stares at me, his thick, black hair flopping over his forehead.

              That’s the other thing about Alex. He doesn’t treat me with kid gloves. Frankly, he’s a bit of an overly cocky asshole, but I don’t have the energy to call him out on it. And…hell, I appreciate
someone
treating me like a normal person. I just never imagined out of all the people crowding my space these days, that Alex would be my refuge from it all.

              “How was the game last night?” I ask as I walk my computer over to the bed. “I saw we won even though Rob didn’t play.”

              His expression is a pathetic attempt at neutrality. “How’d you find out? You weren’t at the game.”

              “You’ve heard about this awesome thing called the internet, right? I checked the score and highlights this morning.”

              “Oh.” He furrows his brow. “Yeah. We won.”

              “And? What happened? Why didn’t Rob play? I thought his ankle was fine.”

              He opens the licorice and shoves several bites in his mouth all at once, mumbling something completely unintelligible.

              So much like Rob.

              “I’m sorry. What was that?”

              Alex chews for an overly long time, looking anywhere but at me, propping pillows behind his back, just generally stalling. The longer he goes without answering, the more my anxiety rises. So much for Alex being the only one to be straight with me.

              I wait on my side of the bed, the laptop between us. Unlike Mike, who thinks his hugs can solve everything, Alex never tries to touch me. I’m not sure if he’s just being respectful or if he’s disgusted by me. In all fairness, since the day I came home from the hospital and scrubbed my skin raw, I can’t make myself bathe. That would mean coming face to face with my brands again. There’s no point in putting in my contacts, or being made-up in my own house. My hair is a rat’s nest and baggy sweatshirts are a must. I’m actually starting to gross myself out at this point.

              Alex never comments on my appearance. I’m seriously convinced more than ever that he did, in fact, take Neveah out on a date last year, just like Rob claimed.

              Then again, if Alex would find out about what’s hiding under my oversize sweatshirts, I’m pretty sure he’d never be within fifty yards of me ever again.

              “He, um, he didn’t show up.” Alex coughs out.

              I sit up ramrod straight. “What do you mean he didn’t show up? Rob? Didn’t show up for
the game
?”

              “Uh…nope.”

              I blink at him, but he refuses to meet my gaze. Instead he busies himself with selecting and queuing up a movie on the computer. I should be grateful that he told me the truth, but I’m too busy feeling guilty. I have no idea what Rob saw that day, but I know it had to be traumatizing for anyone to witness.

              “Why didn’t he go to the game?” Some sick, masochist part of my brain needs to hear the words out loud. That I broke Rob Falls.

              Alex’s shoulders stiffen, and he finally meets my eyes. His own are sad but determined. “He’s not handling this shit real well, Evie.”

              Everyone wants me to talk, but no one has actually bothered talking
to
me. This is absolutely the first I’ve heard of this. Not that it’s totally unexpected after the way Rob acted in my hospital room, but still.

              “Why are you here then, Alex? Why is Mike constantly here? I don’t remember any of it. I’m fine. Seriously. Rob needs you guys way more than I do.”

              “Rob would want me and Mike to be here.”

              Again, that’s all he gives me. He presses play on the movie and conversation stops. Too bad it’s not a good enough distraction for my mind. For the next hour while Alex laughs at the comedy he’s watching, I’m busy stewing over this whole situation.

              I didn’t ask for this. I never asked for any of this.

              Being partnered with Rob in Bio and having him assigned to tutor me in Calc was like the universe laughing at me. No matter how much I resisted, he wormed his way right back into my heart as if he’d never left the space vacant and numb. It’s some sort of sick irony that the only guy who spent the past year defending me from rumors is now the guy suffering because he saved me from a brutal attack. He went from proverbial white knight to literal white knight.

              I have to fix this somehow. I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to face him again.